Milestone meet and greet – mental health and mental illness related.

As you may remember, a few days ago My Inner Mishmash turned six months. Therefore, I came up with the idea that I will host a meet and greet on my blog celebrating blogging milestones. Each of these meet and greets will be focused on a particular field, that is also a part of my blog and my life. Every time I will achieve a blogging milestone, I will make a meet and greet post dedicated to bloggers blogging about something particular, so that they can promote themselves a little bit and those who are interested in the topic may find some new interesting blogs to read. Some of the topics may be a little niche since many of my interests are.
This meet and greet is for mental health and mental illness bloggers. If you suffer from a mental illness, work in the mental health field or are interested in these topics and blog about it, please feel free to share your blog. Also those who aren’t mental health bloggers, but have written a post or a few on this, are welcome to share.
I hope it will be a nice way for us all to find some more blogs to read and that those of you guys who will share with us will gain some new readers. 🙂 Rules:
1. If you blog about mental health/mental illness, leave your blog link in the comments. If you aren’t a mental health blogger, but have a post(s) you wrote, regarding these topics and would like to share, feel free to do so and leave the link(s) as well. 2. Tell us as much as you feel like about yourself and your blog. 3. Reblog if you’d like, so that more people will know.
4. Visit some of other commenters’ blogs, read their posts, give them a follow, a like, or leave them a comment, just mingle a bit since that’s what it’s for, so that they know you visited and enjoyed. I hope you’ll have fun and I’m looking forward to read your blogs. 🙂

Six months.

The time flies so fast… Today is six months since the first post on My Inner Mishmash. I can’t quite believe it! It definitely doesn’t feel like this!

I’m very happy I’m here, and that my safe space is here, and that finally, there is a place online I can really call mine, and safe. The idea that I could start a blog in another language seemed crazy to me, even for a while after I’ve already created this blog. But now I know it was the step in a definitely right direction. It feels so anyway. I also feel like it’s the most successful of my blogs in terms of reaching the audience. I don’t know how many readers, followers or commenters a typical six-month-blog gets and whether I am one of those or get more or less views, I do know though that none of my previous blogs had gotten as many people reading as this one, for various reasons, but mainly because I was blogging in quite niche places – our Polish blind communities online – where there was a slight chance anyone else could find me, other than the members of the community, unless I told them the URL, which really sucked, but a huge advantage of it was that everything was completely accessible. And with my previous WordPress blog, I failed completely at setting it up properly so that neither people could find me, nor I could actually write a single post without hours of torment, hassle, rage and frustration preceeding its publishing, because it was so unaccessible for me. If not the fact that a part of me is phlegmatic after my Dad, so I can be pretty determined and patient if I really want something, I’d surely not exist there for THREE years! 😀 I think that even if I paid someone to set up things for me and make it all polished technicaly, I wouldn’t get very many people to read my posts and certainly not 195 followers. ANd after all, I write partly for others here, because if I want to do it just for myself, I can do it in my diary. SO, yeah, I’m so very happy that my efforts aren’t pointless and that I seem to finally have settled somewhere.

I also hope that if you read my posts, you find something that can affect you in any positive way – I’d love to hear from you about how they affect you – and that you enjoy being a part of My Inner MishMash, regardless of how long you’re here.

I want to thank each one of you – those who follow my blog, read, like or comment my posts. I’m so happy you are here, and I hope you’re glad too. Particularly, I want to thank my regulars – thanks so so much to all of you for sticking with me and supporting me, it means A LOT to me, and it is hugely appreciated.

And, of course, Misha is very very grateful too for all his peep friends and pet friends, and for all his silent audience. He is so happy that some other beings finally treat him and his problems seriously.

Share Your World.

Cee’s Share Your World

If aliens landed on earth tomorrow and offered to take you home with them, would you go? (remember this is SYW, they are friendly aliens)

I’ve never been particularly interested in other planets, or cosmos in general, or anything like this and I’ve always felt like the idea of flying somewhere on a different planet is a bit scary, you know, all those anxieties I have related to motion, doesn’t seem like a pleasant thing. However – I’ve thought about it more now, and I think I would be keen to take a risk. One of my online friends has invented an interesting term a few years ago – namely “alien syndrome” 😀 – so literally that you feel like an alien in your environment, and people may perceive you a bit like an alien, etc. all for fun, but I immediately felt like – OH, that’s me. So, being an alien with “alien syndrome”, I shouldn’t waste a chance and I definitely should go with them. And maybe I wouldn’t be an alien then. Yes, it could be very interesting for sure. So I would go with them. Although I think I would miss my earthly family sometimes. Oh! And how I could forget! There’s no way I could go anywhere without Misha, so I’m only going if they let me take him with me. But if they’re “my” aliens, they sure would. 😀

How tall are you? Are you satisfied with your height?

I’m 168 cm, so I think something in the middle. I could be a few centimetres taller, but it’s just fine as it is. The more that I actually could end up much worse. I have hypopituitarism and apparently hypothyroidism, so I have growth hormone deficiency and by default I would stop at 140 cm. Grrrrrrrrrr!!! Scary!!! I mean very scary, because my family is rather tall, my brother is 190 cm or maybe more. but of course I was taking hormones so that I would grow more. But then I got an endocrynologist who was a small, corpulent lady and always in awe of my Mum’s height and she wanted me to be as high as my Mum, who is 180, and you just couldn’t persuade her I don’t need to be so tall, I’m  not gonna be a cheerleader or anything. I wasn’t that happy with it because… well, why the heck do I need to be so tall? But luckily then I changed the endocrynologist suddenly and she was OK with stopping it and understood me and my Mum that such height as 180 cm would be only a hindrance for me, so I stopped taking it, grew a little more by myself and so I’m 168, and happy with it. So maybe I could be something like, 170 cm or maybe even 172, but I’m lucky enough that I’m not too short and not too tall and could almost choose the height I wanted. The benefits of having growth hormone deficiency hahaha.Still though I meet people who say I’m tall, my horse riding instructor actually says it all the time, I guess it’s because I’m slim, the impression my instructor gets is probably because I’ve long legs and she always has to lengthen the stirrups for me no matter who rode before me lol.

Do you think you could live without your smartphone (or other technology item) for 24 hours?

Without my phone, why not? I can even longer. Without my laptop – hard and boring, but manageable if necessary, plus I still have my Braille-Sense that can somehow replace the computer for me, although there are so many things I only do online that whenever I don’t have the Internet for long it can be challenging. But without my reading devices, on which I also have music, particularly without Plextalk, it would be very hard.And very boring. And hardly manageable. I carry my Plextalk everywhere when I go out of the house. 😀 I guess I might be a bit addicted, but it’s not PlexTalk I’m addicted to but books and music and sometimes, particularly when I’m on the way to somewheere it’s the only way for me to practice my languages.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha, starting new level of my Welsh language course, blogging, writing, support from my friends, massage on Friday, which seemed a very hard experience for various and complex reasons which I talked about before, but turned ut to be cool and very relaxing.

 

Friendly Fill-Ins.

I’m participating again in Friendly Fill-ins, hosted by 15 And Meowing

and Four-legged Furballs

  1. My favorite scent is ________________. jasmine, I think. And cofee too, and Misha’s smell when he’s asleep, or just awake.
  2. I hope to __________________ get more sleep this weekend.
  3. Every sound in Misha _________ is music to my ears.
  4. Home is where _________. I feel secure

 

 

Share Your World.

Share Your World

 

You can have an unlimited supply of one thing for the rest of your life, what is it? Sushi? Scotch Tape?

KEFIR!!! There’s never too much kefir.

Teleportation or flying?

Definitely teleportation. I’ve never flew but the prospect of it seems a little bit scary for me. If even riding by car for longer distances makes me dizzy then what it would be like to fly? Teleportation definitely feels safer and more pleasant.

Would you rather live where it only snows or the temperature never falls below 100 degrees?

I think I’m gonna pick snow. It can be annoying, but I much prefer colder temps to the heat. I mean it’s nice when it’s warm for a while, but long term it can make me pretty sick, so the snows sound much better. You can still turn the heating on or wrap up in as many blankets as you wish. When you’re hot, there’s not much you can do to really cool down.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Last week was really good for me. As always, I’m thankful for Misha, and I appreciated all the opportunities I had to blog, read, write, and any progress in my languages I’ve made, particularly in Swedish. On Sunday I was on the trip to the Hel Peninsula with my family, which went really well. We were on the beach and just hanging around, also had ice cream enjoyed ourselves.

The Mystery Blogger Award and The Liebster Award.

A few days ago I was nominated by the fabulous Laura at All The Shoes I Wear

for both The MysTERY blogger award anD thE Liebster Award. Thank you so much, Laura, for so much appreciation, it means A LOT to me.

“The Mystery Blogger Award” is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging; and they do it with so much love and passion.

Okoto Enigma

The Rules:

1) Thank whoever nominated you and include link to their blog

2) Mention the creator of the award and provide a link as well

3) Answer the questions from the person who nominated you

4) personally Nominate 5- 10 bloggers you feel deserve the award. Please don’t blanket nominate…it diminishes it’s value in honoring the blogger.

6) Ask your nominees 5 questions of your choice with one weird or funny one

7) Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog

Laura’s questions:

 

Is their a special place or process that helps you feel inspired to write?

I love to write at night. There’s something special about it. I feel like my mind is more open at night, more sensitive for some details I barely notice at the daytime, the perspective on things is different, plus it’s just quieter around. The only place that I write in nowadays is my room.

Whats the most outrageous thing you’ve done?

Drinking whisky at the age of 16 with my friends at night in the boarding school. There may be many outrageous things I’ve done at that time and I regret many of them but that one was fabulous!

What has made you laugh so hard ,you cried?

It was a bit silly thing. We were talking with my Mum about how it looks glaring when a wife is much taller then her husband and how it is sometimes funny. Then we talked about one couple we know who are like that and I wondered saying out loud something like how does this woman feel having such a “minihusband” and does it actually bother her at all. Because in my opinion it’s not that important in the grand scheme of things. And then my Mum said “Minihusband, it sounds so cool”. “Like a device, or a phone app” – I said. And then the discussion started, about an application designed for women who hate the male population and who still want someone, or something, to be there for them in any aspect of life they want. And it was a very long and fruitful discussion. How this app would imitate a man in many many different ways and aspects, if someone listened to it I think we’d be currently locked somewhere safe and lobotomised. Anyway, it started to be just so funny I couldn’t stop laughing and crying as well.

What is the most sentimental item you own?

Quite many things. But I think one of most sentimental ones would be my teddy bear Pimpuś.

Whats the best things you’ve done for others?

Hm I think those for whom I’ve done something would be able to answer this question more constructively, but what I always try to do for people I care about is to help them in any way I can, when they need it.

My nominees:

A Remarkable Mind

Brenda at

Beautifully Cracked

Beauty And Bipolar

Behcet’s And Borderline

Julie at

Day By Day

My questions:

1. What is the book that has shaped you the most?

2. What is something you’d like to do, but are afraid of doing?

3. What’s the weirdest thing about you?

4. Do you have a song that always makes you cry?

5. What’s your biggest strength?

The Liebster Award

 

The Liebster is an award that is given to bloggers by other bloggers. Liebster in German means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome.

 

THE RULES

Thank the person who nominated you

Answer the questions about yourself provided by your nominator

Nominate 5-11 fellow bloggers with fewer than 1000 followers who you think deserve the award

Create a new list of questions for your nominees

List the rules in your post

Let your nominees know of your nomination personally

Laura’s questions:

 

Name an instance where you laughed at yourself.

Today, doing my Welsh lesson, when I declared that I would like to eat someone, instead of something.

what song would you dedicate to someone that you don’t care for?

If I don’t care for them, then it could be whatever that doesn’t have any special meaning for me.

what’s the first book you ever loved?

“The Six Bullerby Children” by Astrid Lindgren.

which of your posts would you love to share? post link here.

How To Figure Out People’s Personalities Fairly Easily?

What was the worse holiday you ever had and why?

Last Easter, because of my Dad’s moodiness.

My nominees:

Katie at

Her Patchwork Heart

Ellen at

15 And Meowing

Christine at

In This Ordinary Time

Life, Love, Adventure

My questions:

1. Do you like milk?

2. What is the thing people love you for the most?

Who do you respect the most in your life?

4. If you were a singer, which music genre would you sing most likely?

5.   Would you rather go to Egypt or Iceland?

6. Do you have any food textures you hate or love?

7. Do you like baking?

8. Do you think you are attractive?

9. Do you like wearing black clothes?

10. Are you more sporty, brainy or artsy?

11. If you were your own best friend, do you think you both would get ALONG?

For those whom I’ve nominated for any of these awards, please don’t feel obliged or pressured to do an award post yourself, just if you feel like doing it. 🙂

 

Liebster Award.

So just a while ago I was nominated for a Liebster Award by lovely Carol Anne at

Therapy BitsThank you so much, Carol Anne. 🙂

   Rules:

 

• Thank the person who nominated you
• Answer 11 questions about yourself provided by your nominatoror 11 random facts
• Nominate 5-11 fellow bloggers with fewer than 1000 followers who you think deserve the award
• Create a new list of questions for your nominees
• List the rules in your post
• Let your nominees know of your nomination personally

Questions from Carol Anne

1 what is the longest you’ve gone without sleep?
Completely without sleep it would be around 72 hours when I was 10.

2 do you like icecream?
Sure, but it also depends what kind of ice cream it is.

3 what is your favourite type of food?
Oooh lots of things. But to narrow it down possibly I’ll say lots of spicy, salty, and sweet things – but maybe not together lol – Italian, Mexican, Indian, French and Moroccan food.

4 are you a fast reader?
Yeah, too fast I guess. 😀 I wish I could just relish a book, but it always goes by so quickly.

5 what is your favourite kinda weather?
I like when it’s warm, but not too hot. And I have nothing against reasonable amounts of rain. I love ice! I’ve been obsessively fascinated with ice since early childhood, don’t ask me why, I have no idea.

6 do you have netflix?
Not I myself, but my Mum does and sometimes we watch stuff, but rather rarely.

7 are you glad to have th e internet or could you do without it?
Without the Internet? Is it possible? :O Quite shocking. But pointless. 😀 Well at least I can’t imagine how I could do without the Internet.

8 do you own an amazon echo?
Nope.

9 where do you see yourself in 5 years from now?
Ugh, I’ve had so many ideas over the last three years. But I still have no clear and realistic idea. And no matter how much I think about it and whether it’s 5 or 10 years it feels always very scary to think about it.

10 do you have a best friend?
Complicated thing. Practically I don’t think I could say that I’ve ever had one, although nowadays I have many good friends online, not sure though whether I can call any of them my best friends or whether they would like it.There was one guy whom I still consider my friend and thought he’s my best friend for a long time, but now I really don’t know what to think about it since he seems like he doesn’t want to keep in touch with me any longer. I didn’t want to pressure anything on him as I’ve known very well what it means to have an intrusive and clingy friend so didn’t want to appear this way to him, but when he didn’t even answer when I sent him Christmas wishes I had no other choice than to realise that for some reason he doesn’t want us to be friends anymore, and I respect it, although some part of me still believes it is just a horrible mistake or something and he will get back to me, even though soon it will be a year since we last talked. 😀

11 what is your favourite personality trait in your friends?

There are many personality traits I like/appreciate/admire/value in people and would like to see them in my friends. Like sense of humour, intelligence, sensitivity, and all those traits that generally a good friend should have

This time, I’m not going to nominate anyone, although if you’d like to be nominated, just consider yourself nominated and you can make a post and answer my questions which are here.

   My questions:

1. Do you have any song/book or any other piece of art which speaks to you so much that you have an impression it’s especially for you, or about you? What is it, and  why?

2. When you think about the word comfy, what association comes first to your mind?

3. If you could be a mythical character, be it a god/goddess or any other creature, from any mythology, who would you be and why?

4. Which crisps/potato chips flavour is your favourite?

5. DO you have any favourite English accent/dialect?

6. What is your most favourite sound?

7. What MBTI personality type are you?

8. If you had to change your name, but keep your initials, how would you name yourself?

9. What personality trait do you like the most in yourself?

10. Is there any famous person you’d like to be friends with? Why?

11. Are you a heavy sleeper?

 

Friendly Fill-ins.

If you too would like to participate in this week’s Friendly Fill-ins, go over to 15 and Meowing

or to

Four-Legged Furballs

  1. My neighbors_____________________.
  2. The last thing I purchased online was __________________.
  3. I have never _________.
  4. Anything is possible if _________.

My answers:

 

  1. My neighbors_____________________. a middle-aged couple, they are as different from each other as it can only be possible.
  2. The last thing I purchased online was __________________. a pair of skunk slippers for Zofijka.
  3. I have never _________. eaten sushi, but I don’t think there’s something to regret about it, I don’t think I’d like it.
  4. Anything is possible if _________. your autosuggestion and imagination work properly.

 

 

3.2.1 Quote Me!

Ashley over at Mental Health @ Home

has tagged me for the new game – 3.2.1 Quote Me! created by Rory at A Guy Called Bloke & K9 Doodlepip

Here’s what he has to say about it:

 

Everyone loves quotes right?

So l figured to introduce a bit of light hearted fun with this series. It’s simple:

Every day l will pick a topic, post 2 quotes and nominate 3 bloggers, who in turn will post 2 quotes on that topic and nominate 3 bloggers of their own and let’s see how far we can take that topic for the day.

Rules:

Thank the Selector
Post 2 quotes for the dedicated Topic of the Day.
Select 3 bloggers to take part in ‘3.2.1 Quote Me!’

Topic For Today: Age – Age, Ageing, Aged.

 

Aging can be fun if you lay back and enjoy it.

Clint Eastwood

There’s no such thing as aging, but maturing and knowledge. It’s beautiful, I call that beauty.

Celine Dion

I tag:

Laura at

All The Shoes I Wear

Chocolate Hun at

Chocolate Vybz

and Cyranny at

Cyranny’s Cove

Share Your World.

Here are my answers for Cee’s questions in Share Your World.

If you were to pack a basket for picnic lunch, what would be in your basket?

I’m not big on picnics, but let’s think… garlic bread rolls, some yummy cheese, small piri piri sausages, some chicken, maybe chicken breasts, radishes, olives black and green, maybe other vegs, a bottle of kefir, or Pepsi, or blueberry yoghurt, quite different things but that’s what in my opinion suits best when you eat outdoors, and I would pack some fruit too and and some treats, like some biscuits, spicy crisps or chocolate. These are some of my ideas.

On a vacation what you would require in any place that you sleep?

No tents, no campings, no sleeping bags, no such things, yuck I’m fed up and I don’t think it’ll ever end although the last time I was sleeping in the tent was more than four years ago, I don’t miss it.  I would need a comfy room with a comfy bed, with at least two pillows and some fresh air but not too cold ’cause my feet are always cold and although I don’t care about it during the day, it can make falling asleep hard sometimes. Unless I could be able to make myself a hot bottle or something, then I don’t mind how cold it is in the room. I like having my room cool while I sleep but I need to keep my feet warm, otherwise all is nuts. Unless the temperatures would be like we have today, I think it’s the hottest day in this year so far, so in such case I would definitely manage without any warmers.

If you were to buy a new house/apartment what is the top three items on your wish list?

It would definitely be a house, not an apartment. I would like the bedroom to be possibly distant from the living room or dining room even just because  if some people would come over they wouldn’t pry into my private space and if I were to live there with my family I wouldn’t have to get through the whole living area to get to my room when someone is having guests or something. We had our previous house arranged this way and it was terribly annoying – I came back from somewhere for example and there were my Dad’s friends in the living room, so of course I couldn’t just pass them away but we had a whole ceremony of greetings even though they and me barely knew each other. 😀 Same repeated whenever I or any of my siblings needed to the bathroom or anywhere actually. If we’d live together I think it would be wise to have two bathrooms. And a balcony could be nice.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week? Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha, progress iin my languages, blogging,writing. On Monday I had an psych appointment and I was finally assessed and diagnosed with dysthymia and AVPD. It was a bit exhausting, but I think good overall, and at least I know what’s up with me. It was Mother’s Day on Saturday and Zofijka’s birthday on Sunday, and, apart from some minor but rather rough incidents taking place on both days and affecting me quite a lot, I enjoyed the weekend and overall it was fun. Also I finally managed to get the new book by my favourite writer Małgorzata Musierowicz and I had loads of pleasure reading it, pity though that is already over, I’m waiting for the next one. It was quite a cool week overall, I must say.

 

Friendly Fill-ins.

Here are this week’s Friendly Fill-ins, hosted by 15 And Meowingand Four-legged Furballs

and my answers.

 

  1. It is __________________.

2.The best part of last week was ____________________.

  1. Every summer, I _________.
  2. Once upon a time, _________.
    1. It is __________________. Zofijka’s birthday today.

    2.The best part of last week was ____________________. getting the new Małgorzata Musierowicz book – the one I talked about in the Weekend Coffee Share – OMG I had so much laugh of it.

    1. Every summer, I _________. am at least once on the beach. The advantages of living almost at the seaside.
      1. Once upon a time, _________. there was a creature called Jim, who looked as a 11-year-old boy, but in fact was the last of the species called jimosaurus. Jim lived in the forests of Australia and his food was helping other beings. That’s roughly how each of the episodes of the fairytale I created for Zofijka starts.

Boo. :( What a pity.

I’ve just felt a little disappointed. Well it’s nothing big, actually I started to laugh at myself afterwards, but thought I’d share with you how much of a freaky Jackophile I am.
Just got through a stately pile of comments arising in my spam folder since quite a while already. By the way sometimes such comments can be really intriguing. Some look like excerpts from some weird books, some are in French or Portuguese or other Romance languages, well maybe I should feel honoured that someone thinks I’m so well-read I can even speak Portuguese. 😀 I’ve also come across some laudatory hymns in honour of my blog completely unrelating to my content, bestudded with horrific amounts of bizarre looking links. And there is that current epidemic of “what” comments which hadn’t omitted my blog either.
Anyway, clearing up all that shit, I stumbled upon one comment… or actually, commenter, commenter’s name, that made my brain turn upside down and short circuit. Jacek? Jacek? How’s that possible. Looks like I really attract all the Jac- people and vice versa. Wow, how lovely. Not only that he’s Jacek, but also if he’s Jacek, he is for 99,9% Polish, or at least of Polish descent, there haven’t been any Polish people to my blog so far apart from my Mum who hasn’t a clue what it’s on about and only looks around when I ask her whether everything looks decent. He commented on the post I’ve written on ENya’s birthday. Oh wow, does he like Enya? That’s way too good. How could it land in the spam? It’s like throwing diamonds to the cesspool! And his website seems quite neat, and in Polish. It was called music calendar. Oh, so so thrilled and curious what he wrote to me. I scrolled down to see his very ambitious, elaborate and relevant comment just to see the only thing he has to say was… “What”
I just felt so pissed off. Well that is completely meaningless, but… Jacek… 😥 I feel like someone is making fun of me and my Jackophilia. 😀

Share Your World.

Here are this week’s questions for Cee’s Share Your World and my answers. If you’d like to participate in SYW, too, you can go over to Cee’s post here.

https://ceenphotography.com/2018/05/14/share-your-world-may-14-2018/

Complete this sentence: This sandwich could really use some …
…spices. Well it depends on the kind of this sandwich, I am not this sort of person who likes really weird tasting things and mixing up honey with chilli or anything like this, but if we are talking about cheese sandwiches, or any other that go well with spices, I need some spices on it. I love spicy food. It tastes weird when your sandwich is all covered with spices though. I like adding chilli pepper, black pepper or Cayenne pepper the most. I am not a big fan of sauces. My Dad is though, and he also likes spicy sandwiches, and you can find everything and anything on his. He likes making sandwiches for himself and for others and he usually pours them lavishly with a sauce, be it a dressing, mayo, ketchup, or even a chilli sauce, to the extend that sometimes the bread actually absorbs it and all you feel is sauce. I’ve been eating a lot of sprouts with my sandwiches lately and believe me, adding them makes a difference, the food feels like… dunno, fresher, or more concrete. I hate ham though, or salami, or stuff like that and it is because when I was at school we had sandwiches with ham for almost every breakfast and supper. I can’t stand it nowadays, unless baked or homemade.

What is your least favorite candy?
I don’t like most of those candies with gooey feelings, I like some toffi candies, but generally I don’t like the gooey fillings. I hate marshmallows and anything marshmallow-ish in texture. And anything that pretends to be chocolate. I also don’t like candies filled with alcohol and the kinds that are sooo incredibly sour, although I like some moderately sour candies. But what I hate the most are chocolate truffles. Ughhh I really don’t know why I hate them so much, but I also really don’t know how anyone can like them and why. Some say they are such luxurious candies, but for me they’re just… ew… can’t find an adequate word. Of course no offense to those who like them, who seems to be many, just because I hate them doesn’t mean you have too or that I hate you too because you like truffles lol.

What sign are you? Do you believe in astrology?

I am an Aquarius. Do I believe in astrology, hmm, that’s a complex thing… Generally, I don’t believe in horoscopes that you can find in magazines or online just next to all kinds of news. They are just ridiculous and the only reason I can think of for reading them is to laugh. Also I wouldn’t say that the characteristics of Aquarius you can find on most astrological websites fits me, well there are things that do, but overall it’s nothing that could describe me well and I feel like I could relate to characteristics of other signs much easier, like Pisces, or Gemini, or maybe Cancer in some way. But on the other hand, the descriptions on the popular sites can be very vague, plus it is not only your birth sign involved in it. There are also other astrological factors that make for what you’re like. And there are books on the topic which go deeper into details about the particular signs, their traits, tendencies and such, as well as how the people born in particular decades of the sign can differ etc. And there still are other factors, not astrological, that shape us, lots and lots of them, so we shouldn’t expect from an online, not personalised astrological description to fit us perfectly. I’ve been fascinated in different types of people’s personalities, plus I had a stormy episode in my life when I was interested in everything related to esoterics, and I observed that actually some more detailed characteristics can fit people very often. And that’s why I can say I believe in astrology. “But wait… you told me you are Christian”. Did you think so? Yes, I am Christian and I am a practitioner. I am no longer so very interested in astrology and all things esoteric as I was as a teen. And I don’t want to know my future, it won’t change anything and it is overly audacious in my opinion to want to know it. If we were supposed to know the future, we would live in the future, not in the present, or we would all be seers. But astrology makes sense, if you look at it rationally. After all, in the medieval times, it was common for monks and clergy to be astrologists. Only now, when astrology became commercialised and people make a huge business of it, it looks so ridiculous and superstitious and seems to evolve only around three line love horoscopes for desperate singles. My Mum, who is also a practicing Christian and helped me to kinda re-convert and get out of that spiritual mud I was sinking in, also believes astrology makes a lot of sense. My Mum has a moon calendar and as a lifestyle geek is very interested in how the Moon affects our health, and also growth of plants and similar things. She says that if the Moon can affect our body, if women used to always get period with the full moon, why can’t it affect us on other levels? There is even such a branch of astrology apparently, astrological medicine. I had a book about it, a very old book written in very beautiful, archaic Polish. And there was a whole long chapter on what may particular signs tend to struggle with health wise. ANd I checked it just for fun, whether it is true for me and Mum. And of course it was an old book, so there were stuff that we nowadays don’t suffer from, but there were things that are still actual and that we could relate to, which made us laugh and very surprised. So yeah, I don’t involve in astrology too much, but I do believe in it. As I believe in a few other things considered superstitious, controversial, sinful, foolish or outmoded.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week? Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha, blogging. Writing my math exam and two English exams. Math exam probably went very badly, but I’ll wait until the results come. I don’t worry too much about it. I mean, it would be fantastic if I passed it, I would love it, I worked so much on it, but I won’t be desperate, and won’t take the exam again if it’ll go wrong. But I’ll actually be surprised if I’d pass it because my brain felt really empty when I was writing it and I actually was writing for the sake of writing, so that the committee wouldn’t think I’m completely clueless, it was pure improvising. But you can’t imagine how happy I was when I got out of the school. It was my last direct meeting with maths. I felt so relieved and free afterwards. I spent a nice afternoon that day, having a huge plate of spaghetti with garlic and pepper at the Italian restaurant nearby and walking around the city with my family. Then we went to the hostel where we were living at the time of my exams and because my stress was huge in the morning and then dropped so suddenly, it left me with a very annoying headache, so althugh it was just 4 PM I went to bed and spent there the rest of that day, but it was still very productive, because I was reading my first book in Welsh. Nooo not Mabinogion yet, a book for children. “Matilda” by Roald Dahl, in Welsh version. And I was laughing a lot with Zofijka. English was easy-peasy, and I also appreciated that. My committee at both English exams couldn’t believe how quickly I wrote both of them. You have 4 h 15 mins in total for each exam, and I did it in 1 hour 45 mins. 😀 I was even more happy that I didn’t have any more encounters with the headmistress of the school, as I had last week. And I was very happy to go home. That was the most pleasant thing last week. also I was focusing a lot on my past this week, in terms of whether it is traumatic or not and why etc. and my Mum wanted to talk a lot about it, since it’s not only a deal for me. Emotionally it was a little intense at times this past week. On Sunday we went out to have some ice cream and have a walk by the sea. It was very very windy there so we ended up taking our ice cream and heading back home with them as we weren’t prepared for that windy weather. There are only 15 km from us to the beach we went to and it was a very sunny day where we live, but although there was still sun shining at the beach, the wind was really strong and cold and we were in short sleeves.

G2K.

G2K is a new series at

Revenge Of Eve

and it is a lot of fun. I strongly recommend you to join in if you’d like your readers to learn more about you.

• Who has always stood by your side?

I’d say my Mum, because she has, even if I didn’t know it or she didn’t express it, but a person about whom I know that always has stood by my side, even if he’s been doing it silently, is my grandad.

• What year were you born?
1997.

• Where were you born?
Pretty much in the same area where I live now, just in the town where the closest hospital with a delivery room was, and I live in the north of Poland.

• When is your birthday?
1st February.

• How many siblings do you have?
19-year-old brother Olek (Aleksander), currently learning to become a mechanic, exploring all the pleasures of newly gained adulthood, and also finishing this year, and exploring tons of new strategies for how to make money easily, and 10-year-old sis Zofijka (Zofia, or Sophie), a real scary screamy monster, but with a huge and fragile heart, always craving for attention, company, fun, movement and food, and since a few weeks a keen lover of skunks.

• Why is mental health important?
Because it affects your life on all its levels and it is essential to your overall well-being.

Journal prompt: Write a thank you letter to the person who has stood by your side.

Dear Grandad!

I’d like to tell you something I’ve actually never told you in a direct way, and which I now see really needs to be said. There’s so much I can thank you for – your love, acceptance, wisdom, strength, all these loads and loads of useful and not useful at all but interesting things, all the traits I have inherited after you, Mum says I have all your advantages and flaws, and although I think it is a little exaggeration, I still think we share a lot and I’m proud that I am similar to you because I admire you for so much…

But what I want to thank you for particularly now is that you’ve always stood by my side. Silently, but confidently, consistently and loyally. I love my family, I think I am lucky because I get along somehow with at least the maternal side of my family and I know they all love me each in their own ways and I love all of them in my own ways, but often there were times when I felt like I’m rejected by them or just not understood at all, like I am not one of them. But you have always believed in me. I think because we are so similar, it was easier for you to step into my shoes and feel what I feel in a certain situation, which wsn’t always what the rest of the family expected from me. Other people had their expectations towards me, often too high for me to meet, but you’ve always accepted me as I am and believed in me, maybe were even a little too uncritical, but well that’s what grandparents are for sometimes. Even if standing by my side meant to oppose all the others, even your most favourite daughter, you never hesitated. And that means so much to me because you could as well stand with them and be just expecting things. But you were always so understanding.

If someone knows me well, they know I hardly ever feel fully safe and secure. But anytime I’m with you, I feel more safe. ‘Cause I know you care about me more that I could expect, even if you never told me about it directly. Words are needless, if someone is a man of action. You’ve never used words more than you have to. And you taught me it’s nothing wrong when you can’t find words for what you feel. I remember all those moments when I was coming home from boarding school for a break and was struggling with something, and I always came to you with it. Not in search for advice, or to talk it through. Just to sit with you in silence, feel the warmth and strength of your hands. If we talked, it was either very brief, ’cause you always seemed to know what I feel, or on a completely different topic. I actually don’t remember talking to you about my struggles a lot or you asking me about them. But that was OK, that’s how our relationship is, and that’s how we both are, it would feel weird and kinda overly sentimental to talk with you about that, imagining it actually makes me laugh. I could describe to you different awful situations, or other bad stuff than happened, but never my feelings in detail,

Thank you for all the support, particularly in the years when no one else was truly and consistently supportive.

Thank you for your humourous approach to all the difficult stuff. You’ve never been overly positive or even optimistic about things, which annoyed me so much in my teen years in other people, but you taught me to laugh off sad things.

There are many more things I want to thank you for, but I’ll just say, thank you for being for me in every sense of this word. You were always somewhere in the background of my life, I even didn’t realise for a long time how much you help me and support me, but I believe so many things would be much more harder to go through without your presence or you thinking about me hundreds of miles away from me.

Mila

 

Friendly Fill-ins.

I haven’t participated in Friendly Fill-ins for a few weeks already, so let’s get back to it.

From now on, Ellen of 15AndMeowing

is collaborating on them with Lorianne of Four-Legged Furballs.

1. I spend… about 7 hours per day online.

2. When I go online, I use my… laptop, or for some things I use my Braille-Sense.

3. Mother’s Day… is on 26th here.

4. I wish… all my finals were over.

 

Share Your World.

So finally time to answer Cee’squestions.

If you were given $22 million tax free dollars (any currency), what is the first thing you would do? (This is just a dream question, remember anything can happen in SYW.)

Oh wow, that sounds so fabulous! I’d share some amount with my immediate family, some amount I would use to help or just make happy some of my friends, maybe would also support some charities. Then I’d buy a brother for Misha and lots of toys and other stuff for them. Not like I crave so much for another cat, but Misha does very clearly. I’d probably buy myself a house, or at least a vacation house, somewhere in the British countryside. And the rest would most probably go to the bank.

In what do you find the simplest of joys?

Misha, his purring, hhrrruing, when he wants to be close with me, which isn’t so very often as he is a reserved creature, blogging and interacting with my readers, laughing at silly things with Zofijka, writing almost whatever, doing stuff with my languages, spending quality time with my Mum, writing with my online friends, reading interesting or funny books, listening to music, particularly my music crushes’, horse riding, developing any of my interests in any way, yummy food/drinks, any achievements in learning languages or in horse riding, sleeping.

What would be your ideal birthday present, and why?

Um, I always have a problem with presents. Whenever I need something small, I always buy it for myself, well I know the best what I want and no one knows me as well as I know myself. So then when people ask me what I want to get for birthday I just don’t know because I have everything I need. Currently there aren’t any things that I can’t get for myself that others could get me as a present. Well I would always appreciate anything that someone bought or made thinking about me and especially for me even just because of the effort they put in it, plus if they put so much effort in it usually it is something I just like because they know what I like.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Last week was very stressful for me because of the finals coming. On Thursday we had a little family gathering and it was very nice. On Friday I had to go to that school for the blind to write my finals there. I couldn’t sleep that night and we had to get up at 4 so it was an awful Zombie day. The exam itself went well though, or so I think, because I’ll get the result on 3rd July. Afterwards though there was a very unpleasant incident with the headmistress of that school who not only was incredibly rude to both me and my Mum, but also actually triggered me and the very stormy meeting with her brought memories to my brain of which I actually wasn’t aware before that I have such memories. This was very tough and left me very unsettled so that I couldn’t pick myself up for days, but my family was very supportive which I really appreciate, as well as the support of my friends. I am also glad that I wrote that exam, no matter what the outcome will be. The weekend was rough too, I was just blah and still very triggered, but had some nice time with my Mum and talked through lots of stuff we never talked about before. In some way I also appreciate what happened to me on Friday, because it opened my eyes that I’ve really come through some kind of trauma, which I desperately denied for years as well as I could, and as I said it let to me and my Mum discussing plenty of important things that were, and in some way still are, standing between us.

 

G2K.

Although it’s actually the weekend already, thought I’d catch up on Revenge Of Eve’s new series.

Eve over at Revenge of Eve has launched a new series, G2K,replacing the previous one called WYF.

 

Who does the cleaning in your home?

My Mum, usually.

What pets do you have?

A narcissistic creature that claims to be a Russian blue cat called Misha whom everyone of you already knows because it’s impossible to not know him. Also, my Dad has some aquarium fishes, which Misha is crazy about and still hopes he’ll one day be able to catch one.

When did you have your first boyfriend/girlfriend?

Never actually. I’ve been in love or had various kinds of crushes multiple times, but have never been in an actual relationship.

Where do you live?

Northern Poland.

How did you decide on your career?

My Dad’s accountant suggested to him that he could employ me, since I was studying only part time, so I could earn some money and he would have them returned because so it is here when you employ a disabled person, so he wouldn’t lose anything on it and I could either have some money for some things I want or can save them for the future, which I really appreciate as not many disabled young people are as lucky.

Why do you blog?

For very various reasons. Because I love writing, because I prefer writing than speaking, because having just my own diary started to be not enough for me, because I want to have some more outlet for my emotions and start to share them with others, at least through writing for now, because I want to have some more outlet for what’s going on in my brain, because I started to feel kinda isolated and wanted to get in touch with some more people and find some like-minded ones and maybe make friends with some, because I felt like I need to be more open about my mental health issues, because I wanted to share with someone what’s going on in my life, my fascinations and anything that matters to me, and finally because I want to improve my English skills or maybe also start to communicate more in other languages.

 

Share Your World.

Time to answer Cee’s questions for this week.

Do you use paper money? If so is your money organised sequentially according to denomination?

I use paper money very rarely, most of the time when I do any of my shopping on my own I do it online, and if not, I rather prefer to use coins because it’s easier to distinguish them if you can’t see. But no matter if I use coins or paper money, I always try to have them organised by denomination so I don’t have to spend too much time searching for the one I need, even though nowadays my Mum usually goes with me so she can help me.

You are comfortable doing nothing? For long stretches of time?

Not really. Although I’m not like hyperactive, I am not good at just sitting still and staring on the walls and thinking/meditating. I’m a kind of multi-tasker, at least intellectually, and my brain gets bored easily when I have to just sit still not having anything to really focus on. Unless I have a lot of interesting things to think about.

What is your greatest strength?

Hmm, don’t really know, maybe my empathy? Although it doesn’t always feel like a strength. Hard to say.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week? Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha, progress in my languages, reading lots of interesting books, finishing school year (yaaaaaaaayyyyy!) and finishing with my Maths lessons. I still can’t quite believe it’s over, probably because I have my final exams yet to pass, but yeah, it’s over, I’ve been so fed up with school and education, well not in education in general, I’m still learning Welsh and stuff, but all that shitty school stuff around which there is always much more fuss than it’s really needed. Although I’ve never cared a lot about marks, it is always nice to hear that you have the highest average among all the classes for adults, which happened to me, much to my surprise, so yeah, I was happy about that. Althoug I felt like it’s a bit unfair – I know there were so many people learning much harder than I did, and caring much more about their results, and for me it all was relatively easy and didn’t crave much work, even despite I was learning mostly on my own, apart from maths.

https://ceenphotography.com/2018/04/30/share-your-world-april-30-2018/

TMI Tuesday.

Tell us…
1. The problem with you in 5 words.
I’m too complex and conflicting.
2. 5 things you want in life.
Learn all my languages and do lots of interesting and useful things with them, have something to do as a job which would be satisfactory and not too much anxiety provoking, experience at least one real friendship and romantic relationship, not live too long, be happy. 3. 5 things you need to quit.
Overthinking, escapism, pessimism other than defensive, people pleasing, sleeping or not sleeping at not civilised hours. 4. 5 things you require in a lover.
Creativeness, intelligence, sense of humour, sensitiveness, protectiveness. 5. 5 things you are tired of.
School, anxiety, nightmares, my Dad’s constant ranting, anything to do with mathematics. Bonus: What 5 things will you never share on social media?
My first name before I legally changed it, my phone number, my address, my mental health issues in detail, my pictures other than in profile or something like this. It also depends what kind of social media it is, whether are there any people I know and from where I know them, and how public the information is, but these are things I wouldn’t share completely publically in places like Facebook or Twitter or other big social medias. https://tmituesdayblog.wordpress.com/2018/04/23/tmi-tuesday-april-24-2018/

Share Your World.

If you could have an endless supply of any food, what would you get?

Hmmmm, thinking… thinking… crrrrriiiiiiiiiiiissssssspssssssssssss!!! very spicy, crispy crisps. Pepperoni crisps, or chilli crisps. But no, seriously, don’t think so. I always seem to burn all the calories in food with just thinking, because now I don’t do any sports or even exercises since a couple of months already and my weight is still stuck at 45 kg, but I guess that if I started to devour crisps endlessly things would change drastically. 😀 Not the nicest perspective, I suppose, but since it’s just theoretical, maybe my weight gain would be theoretical too. 😉 Other than that, my Mum complains I look “malnourished”, so I guess she’d be glad if things would change. 😛

List at least five movies or books that cheer you up.

Any book in “Jeżycjada” series by “Małgorzata Musierowicz” (so there are around 20 books actually), “A Tangled Web” by Lucy Maud Montgomery, the Polish movie “miś”, any good, British film, and Polish fantasy series by Katarzyna Berenika Miszczuk about a girl who dies and describes her afterlife in hell and in heaven, at times I was rolling on the floor reading it.

If you were a mouse in your house in the evening, what would you see your family doing?

If I were a mouse in my house at whatever time of day, I would get quickly explored and encountered by Misha and then annihilated and chucked out by Dad. 😀 But maybe I could see something interesting before they’d unmask me. Maybe I’d be able to familiarise with all the food in the pantry or the sprouts my Mum is growing in the kitchen. If it was evening and I’d be very silent and careful, maybe I could see Dad watching some shit on TV, or Mum making the supper, heard Zofijka taking a shower or Olek coming back from God knows where. Or this voracious monster Misha, who can approach me any minute and do with me whatever his instinct would tell him.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week? Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha, blogging, writing, progress in my languages, writing maths control assignment, passing Maths exams and geography oral exam, finishing my term session, had some nice dreams, was feeling relatively well emotionally last week, or at least better than most of the time recently.

Thanks so much to Cee for hosting SYW.

https://ceenphotography.com/2018/04/23/share-your-world-april-23-2018/