TMI Tuesday.

Tell us…
1. The problem with you in 5 words.
I’m too complex and conflicting.
2. 5 things you want in life.
Learn all my languages and do lots of interesting and useful things with them, have something to do as a job which would be satisfactory and not too much anxiety provoking, experience at least one real friendship and romantic relationship, not live too long, be happy. 3. 5 things you need to quit.
Overthinking, escapism, pessimism other than defensive, people pleasing, sleeping or not sleeping at not civilised hours. 4. 5 things you require in a lover.
Creativeness, intelligence, sense of humour, sensitiveness, protectiveness. 5. 5 things you are tired of.
School, anxiety, nightmares, my Dad’s constant ranting, anything to do with mathematics. Bonus: What 5 things will you never share on social media?
My first name before I legally changed it, my phone number, my address, my mental health issues in detail, my pictures other than in profile or something like this. It also depends what kind of social media it is, whether are there any people I know and from where I know them, and how public the information is, but these are things I wouldn’t share completely publically in places like Facebook or Twitter or other big social medias.

TMI Tuesday.

1. Would you rather be the smartest or hottest man/woman in the room?

The smartest for sure. But it could maybe also depend on what kind of people would be there with me. Generally though, I always feel some little bit of sympathy for all those women perceived as hot by men, I often feel like it may cause you more trouble than luck in life and like sometimes nothing besides their “hotness” is seen or taken seriously. I don’t know, maybe I’m subjective, but sometimes I really feel for such women, although most of such I know from books. 😀

2. Do you get aroused by hearing the sexual moans and noises of others having sex, e.g. neighbors, people next door in hotel room?

Far from it. 😀 It would rather either make me laugh/say some sarcastic comment to myself, or it would make me feel disgusted if they’d be particularly expressive, after all it’s an intimate thing, isn’t it?

3. What are some small things that make your day better?

Snuggling with Misha, good music, a good book, writing my mind out, spending time with people I feel close to, good food, good laugh of something, doing anything creative, doing anything with my languages, writing with my friends, blogging, not having to leave my home, besides if I want to, horse riding, sleeping well, nice dreams (mine are usually intensive and vivid and I remember them for a long time, so if they are nice, they can make my day for sure), helping someone, etc. etc. etc.

4. It’s the night before Christmas and you hear footsteps on the roof – what do you do?

If it’s really night time like after midnight, I’d either be slightly disoriented or if I’d happen to be particularly anxious that night, I’d feel more or less frightened, I guess. If it’s rather close to the evening, I think we’d start kidding with Zofijka that Santa decided to visit us in person or something.

5. What does your ideal Saturday morning look like?

Waking up at a decent hour feeling rested, having Misha still asleep by my side (he usually gets up before me and meows to let him out of my room), not having to rush anywhere, having some nice breakfast with family and some coffee, talking with Mum, doing stuff with my languages and being possibly effective of course, writing, going for a walk, just doing simple things I enjoy…

6. What does your ideal Saturday night look like?

Spending some time with Zofijka, reading for her, having a long, hot bubble bath, reading something interesting, listening to some good music and writing – creatively, on my blog, in journal or with other people – maybe drinking a little of Jack Daniels, or watching TV with Mum.

Bonus: What is the craziest, most outrageous thing you want to achieve?

Although I’m not that much of a risk-taker, I think, many people think learning extincting language like Cornish, Manx, Faroese or a few Sami languages, which I plan to do in future, is absolutely crazy, and probably is in some way. 😀

TMI Tuesday.

1. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, your future, what would you want to know?

What am I going to do in future? Where does it all actually go… well, pretty abstractive thing, but I just ask it myself so often. Also, I’d like to know why do I have such strange, weird, just soooo hideous and frightening dreams every time I get sleep paralysis? I just had such a “blissful” night last night, which left me very anxious and wondering what actually causes such weird dreams, and that is why I’m still up at 2 AM, I’m just too scared to go to sleep and I think I’ll go when I feel really sleepy, because then I’ll be too tired to have dreams. Actually I’m scared of staying up as well, but that’s better of both these options and I can always distract. Another thing I would like to know is something more about my past, like, why do so many things cause me so much anxiety like I had some awful memories with them or something, but in fact can’t recall anything? I think that actually there are more things that I don’t know about myself and my life than those I know, and even if I know something, I am very often not sure about it when I start to think about it more. Sounds a bit weird, but true. But that’s another thing, overthinking. 😀

2. What do you value most in your sex life?

I didn’t start my sex life yet and don’t think I’ll have any opportunity soon, but anyway I know what I would value in my sex life. I’d definitely value if my husband had some imagination as for sex. I think I’d have, so it would be even better if we both would. I always value creativeness, no matter in which area of life. I would value if we had the same values as for sex, or would be able to accept each other values. Like I am a practitioning Christian and I surely wouldn’t have to have a boyfriend or a fiancee who would desperately want to have sex before anything else. First I need to get to know you more before you start to finger me, second if you respect me, we should marry first. I would also appreciate if he’d be understanding because I have often issues with people touching me and sometimes intimate situations just scare the hell out of me, but if we got each other’s perspective, I think I would get over it with time.

3. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

I feel like there are different kinds of jokes and while humour is generally a good thing, in some areas we should definitely use it carefully and use milder jokes, that wouldn’t be hurtful for others. But I don’t think there are such things that are completely FORBIDDEN to be joked about. Or maybe they are, but I just can’t think of such right now. I think things like death, or very serious illnesses, should be treated with a lot of carefulness. But sometimes a mild joke may discharge the uncomfortable situation. The thing is just to be careful and had a healthy distance to things and to yourself, and be perceptive if others do have it or not.

4. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one in which you currently live, where would you move and why?

I have many favourite countries which I like equally and I’d visit eagerly, but I think I wouldn’t like to move to just any of them. I think I could most eagerly move t the UK, but somewhere to the countryside rather than to cities like London. This country just somehow resonates with me. I think it would be the best if I could move to North Wales, it is so beautiful there, people have such a lovely accent and I could practice my Welsh. I think Finland would be also absolutely great to live in.

5. Are you too nice?

It happens. Usually when I don’t like someone, or don’t feel comfortable around them. It also depends in what we mean by “too nice”. Sometimes I could say I’m maybe too nice for someone I like and want to for example do something nice for them and then it turns out my efforts were actually pointless, as they either don’t care or want to take advantage of me being nice to them in future. So usually now, if I like someone, I’m rather distant towards them, just to not lose them immediately, but it also depends on the case of course.

Bonus: Falling in love is… (one word only) a rollercoaster.