Share Your World.

It’s been centuries since I last participated in

Share Your World

at Melanie’s. I guess the last time was around… Christmas? That’s what I can remember, which is a shame because I used to participate in SYW pretty regularly and it’s fun. The questions this week are really cool so here goes, and if you’d like to participate too head over to her blog. 🙂

 

  1. Was the last thing you read digital or print? – Digital, pretty much anything I read is digital, because I am blind, and Braille books are quite pricey, clunky, and limited in terms of availability of what you can choose from.
  2. Are you more an extrovert or introvert? – Introvert all the way! Introverts rule! Yay for introverts! 😊 But actually, I read some of the fellow participants’ posts already earlier this week and quite a couple people stated that they are more extroverted on the Internet, and so am I, though it also depends on the circumstances and where on the Internet, the Internet itself doesn’t make me extroverted haha.
  3. How is your life different from what you imagined as a younger person? – Hard to say, because as a child and teen I didn’t have a stable view of what I’d like to be or could be. As a very little child I wanted to be a singer, musician and dancer, and I didn’t want to have children “Because when women don’t want to have children they don’t have to have them, and when they want, they can” (that’s what I said in a film about my nursery where they asked me whom I’d like to be and my family laugh at it on every possible occasion). Indeed, I never really wanted to have children, and still don’t want, even if I wanted it seems pretty unlikely for multiple reasons. But as I grew older I never wanted to do anything with music professionally. I wanted to be a psychologist, writer, sound engineer, translator, quack (like my grandad sort of :D) and lots of other things. But when I was a very little girl, five-year-old or a little bit older, I once had a weird kind of dream…? I don’t know if it was a dream, an imagining, just a thought, or whatever, but I was lying in bed so I think it could be a dream, it was just one small scene but very clear to me. I saw myself in it as an adult, standing in the middle of a huge kitchen, as if I was about to prepare a meal or something, and there were kids all around me, a lot of children, mostly toddlers, all clinging to me. But what I remember the best from that little scene was some weird sense of despair, or helplessness that I felt. I felt lost and confused and like I don’t know what to do in this adult world. What am I supposed to do with these children? What am I expected to do? And it was so clear and powerful that since then, whenever I heard the word “adult”, I had that weird vision coming up, and in a way I still do. I don’t have a huge kitchen, or children, I don’t even make meals for myself, and my life right now feels pretty stable, yet sometimes I do feel like that adult me from my dream, which probably reveals my immaturity or something, but I don’t claim I am a mature person, I don’t claim that I’m immature either, I guess I just don’t know. 😀 Anyway, other than that weird dream thing, I don’t think my life resembles what I thought it could be like when I was a child.
  4. Do you think about dying?   Does death scare you?  Why or why not? – As a person with mental illness, I’ve experienced suicidal thoughts so yes, I do think about dying, sometimes more often, sometimes less. I’m happy to say that nowadays, I rarely have active suicidal thoughts and ideations, but I do have passive ones a lot of the time. Also I am a Christian, so when you’re a religious/spiritual person I believe you have to think about that sometimes. My own death doesn’t scare me, although I’m a little bit anxious of what it will be like afterwards, what world we’ll end up in, if any. I’m also not scared of death as a concept, like my sis Zofijka is for example. SHe’s scared of dead people, murders and such. Of course it’s difficult and can make anyone uneasy, but I normally don’t feel scared by that without any context. What I’m really really scared of about death is those whom I love dying. Particularly my Mum and Misha. Some say my attachment to Misha is unhealthy because of that, and because of how attached I am to him even though he is a pet, but I really don’t know how I could cope with Misha’s death. If I had to, I probably would, life is like that, but I’ve never been attached to anyone in such a way as I am to Misha.

Additional Gratitude Bonus Question:  Who has been the kindest to you in your life? – The kindest? Like throughout my whole life? My Mum I think. Dunno where I’d be without her, but I’ve written about that many times before.

Share Your Merry World.

I haven’t participated in Share Your World for a quite long while, so time to change it! It’s hosted by Melanie at Sparks From A Combustible Mind,  so if you’d like to join in the fun, come over to her blog. 🙂 Here are Melanie’s questions and my answers to them.

 

What’s the worst topping you could put on popcorn?   (credit to Teresa for this one)

Semolina, mashed potatoes with gravy, or anything pulpy and mashy like that, in my opinion. 😀

In what country did Silent Night originate?

Ha! I always read some of other participants’ answers before I write mine, so, even if I wouldn’t know the answer before, I know it now. But as I said I already knew before that the answer is Austria, and i find the story behind this Christmas carol really intriguing, and I like that you can sing it in so many languages. When I’ll learn all of mine, I’d like to be able to sing it in all of them (assuming there is a Sami or Manx version of “Silent Night”, I’m not sure and somehow doubt it), I already know the English, Swedish and, more or less, Welsh version, and obviously Polish too.

(WARNING! The following question is NOT meant to start a fuss.  It’s merely a good discussion question in my opinion.  Most everyone knows where I stand on this. If you feel like arguing about it, please give it a pass.) We’re all adults and sensible ones at that.  We can be mature about such things, right?

How would you react if there was irrefutable proof that God doesn’t exist?       I think first I would be very sceptical. Because there is loads of research on both sides, and both sides are equally obstinate that they are right, so I’d probably just think, as a practicing Christian, that this is another theory made up by another atheist who, although declares being atheist, seems to be strongly interested in religion. You know, it’s always hard for anyone when their beliefs, like pretty much basic beliefs I think, are proven to be not true. I’ve never been in such situation before but I think it has to be a very hard experience. So, after i’d go through the phase of denial, I’d probably feel very disappointed, probably left alone, like my life is meaningless. I don’t think I would change my behaviour much, other than I would stop practicing my religion, but it could be very depressing. Or maybe I’m wrong? Maybe it would be like after a loss of a loved one? I’d go through denial, then grief, and then would just carry on, but just feeling some sort of a gap in my life, as you always do after a loss, that is usually gradually lessening with time? Hard to say. I feel though it could be hard. As someone who struggles with depression, or dysthymia more exactly, if it makes any difference in the grand scheme of things, I often feel my life is pointless and meaningless already, so I suspect it would be only worse after something like this.

How about if there was irrefutable proof that God does exist?

I think it would make me happy, like comforted. Everyone who believes in any God has their doubts once in a while, and then we wouldn’t have them suddenly, wouldn’t it be brilliant? I think it could help me make a stronger connection with God, and just strengthen my faith. What I wonder about though, is would the picture of God I have in my mind cover with what God is really like? Would be it Christian God, or Muslim, or Jewish, or Buddha, or maybe Zeus or Jupiter or Odin or Perun or Lugh or goddess Ilmatar? Maybe there would be many gods, or goddesses, or other deities? Or everyone would have their own God, like it already is in a way, ’cause even within one religion, we all actually have a different picture of God, so maybe it would be like this? Or maybe there would be one God, but as some people say, different religions and ethnicities just call and understand Him differently, but it actually doesn’t matter because there is one God for everyone? That’s interesting, I think.

And last question:

What is the scariest non banned item you could take on to a plane?

Hmm, it’s hard for me to think of anything, even just because I haven’t been on a plane before. My brain is quite scary, but I don’t think others would appreciate and realise it hahaha. So it would probably be my sis Zofijka, she can be really scary if she wants. 😀

Traditions

Which version of the holiday celebration do you and your family enjoy?  By this I mean do you follow Jewish traditions with Hanukkah; Christian celebrations with Christmas and (for those over the pond) Boxing Day; or some other festivities that I’ve overlooked?   Please do share with everyone!  I truly feel that this sort of question lets us know a little more about our fellow bloggers without getting too personal (i.e. revealing too much of private lives, which some folks prefer to keep private.)

We are Christians so we celebrate Christmas in a Christian, Catholic way, and we are Polish so our traditions are Polish/European. We have a festive dinner on christmas Eve, and this is actually the most important point of the celebrations for us. Well maybe not most important but most festive. We always start it with a short prayer, then one of us reads a fragment of the Gospel about Jesus’ birth, and then we share Christmas wafer with each other. Each of us has a piece of Christmas wafer and everyone breaks of a piece from each other’s Christmas wafer and eats it and we wish each other merry Christmas and generally all the best, it’s the best when the wishes are personalised, like, you know, you show the person that you really care about them and that whatever happened during the year, your relationship is still good and there are no old conflicts between you.

Then we have the meal, which for most people contains a lot of fish but for us it’s moderate since neither me nor my siblings like fish very much, but there are pierogi with cabbage and mushrooms, borsch – borsch is normally a soup, but during Christmas Eve dinner most people make it pure so that you can drink it, or with a special type of noodles, that resemble ears in their shape. – There are also lots of salads, and some cakes. The dishes vary between the regions though. The Christmas Eve dinner is usually meatless, and it is said that traditionally you should have twelve dishes and you should taste each of them, but since there is only five of us plus Misha who is picky and will only eat a bit of fish we don’t have so much food, we usually still have some leftovers until New Year’s Eve anyway haha. There is also another tradition, setting an additional tableware “for the guest” so for anyone who might come to the house, be them a homeless person, or a traveller, or someone in need, or from the family, or a friend, whoever, and they should be invited to the dinner. Another tradition is to put some hay under the tablecloth, and we do it too.

After the meal we usually go to my Mum’s family and again share the Christmas wafer with them, exchange gifts, have some cake or other sweet things and sing carols and generally spend time together, often playing scrabble.

And at midnight we usually go to Midnight Mass.

Our fairly new family tradition is that it’s only after the Midnight Mass that we come home and unwrap the presents under our own Christmas tree. And I think it’s cool, although Zofijka can barely wait until then, because of course as every child she loves presents so much.

Christmas day, and the second Christmas day are less festive, and more leisurely, there is a lot of food, not meatless – we also have things like turkey, or salads with meat, or my Dad’s smoked meat, or paszteciki, which are sort of breadrolls with meat stuffing in them. And we either just chill out, or have some outings, or visit family. So, there you have it, Polish Christmas traditions.

Share Your World.

Hey people! 🙂

I decided to participate in Share Your World this week. I haven’t done this in a while, and the last SYW I participated in was hosted by Cee Neuner, however now it is Melanie from Sparks From A Combustible Mind

who hosts this challenge on her blog. Go over to her if you’d like to find out how to participate or read others’ posts.

The questions for this week are:

 

Is there one post on your site that is really special to you?  (credit for this one goes to CrushedCaramel )

Hm, in a way all of my posts are special to me, but, the most… I guess I’d choose

Reasons Why I’m Learning Welsh.

 

How Do You Deal With Negative People?  (Athling2001 gets credit for this one)

Not the best, usually. If someone in my surroundings is very negative, like complaining all the time or toxic, it either gets on my nerves and it’s hard for me to be around such people and not feel constantly annoyed, or their negativity passes on me, as other people’s feelings or atmosphere around can be pretty contagious for me at times. So if I can, I just try to avoid this kind of people. Thankfully, I don’t have to deal with such individuals a lot nowadays.Our Zofijka can be described as negative at times, as she is very moody and sulky and you’ll never know what will be her next whim, and if she has a whim, she wants everyone to do whatever it is she wants. But with Zofijka it’s a bit different, her negative moods also often pass on me or annoy me, but she’s not of a toxic kind, and she’s a kid, so I can give her a piece of my mind when she’s getting too far with it, but you can’t do it to everyone, right? Or not in all circumstances.

What Is The First Thing You Think Of When You Wake In The Morning?

Very often it’s Misha, as he sleeps with me most nights so when I wake up any time at night or in the morning and know he went to sleep with me I always check if he’s still in his bed. He often wakes me up in the morning, because I always have the door to my room closed, so then in the morning I have to let him out, and if no one else is up yet, I usually feed him too, or if I feel too sleepy/lazy to go downstairs and feed him I just give him some snacks and let him out.So usually it’s Misha.

Would You Rather Be Able To Talk With The Animals Or Speak All Foreign Languages?

OMG now that’s so tricky! Let’s think… do I really need to speak ALL languages? Don’t think so, I’m not sure I’d really want it, however it would be so brilliant if I could just be able to speak all those I love, and if I spoke some others, maybe it wouldn’t be that bad… sounds cool… But then, I definitely feel that being able to understand animals, particularly cats, especially Misha, could be really helpful and even much more useful than speaking all the human languages. Misha is such a quiet child, he never says what’s on his mind, it’s hard to know what he wants or needs or feels, he’s very secretive and fearful. Plus, for all cats, communication is a rather subtle thing, and more often than not – visual, so if you can’t see, things get even more tricky, and I just often don’t have a clue what he wants. So yeah, understanding his language would be extremely useful. Another thing though, is whether he’d be eager to talk to me at all…

Share Your World.

Cee’s Share Your World.

 

Which tastes better: black or green olives?
I love olives in general, olives are one of my favourite foods. It doesn’t matter whether black or green.

What’s your favorite room in your home?
My own.

What fictional family would you be a member of?
There’s such a Polish series I’ve talked about probably more than I can count on this blog, it’s called “Jeżycjada”, and it’s written by Małgorzata Musierowicz. It is generally perceived as a series for teens, or for girls, or women, but my personal opinion is that it is suitable just for everyone, unless you really crave for a very fast and changeable plot in a book. It’s full of warmth and humour, yummy food, very fascinating characters that at the same time are also just nice to be around. All that with the witty style and erudition of Musierowicz’s on top which make these books way too good to just classify them as your typical books for teens, in fact I don’t thik many of the typical Polish teens would actually read themwith pleasure because of a bit difficult vocabulary at times, for example my Zofijka says they’re boring because she doesn’t understand a lot of words, which in my opinion is weird, but that’s how many teens seem to be nowadays, though Zofijka is maybe just a bit too young because she’s actually 11. And what’s very characteristic to this series is that there is a lot of focus on family life. In the central place we have the Borejko family, living in Poznań, and then all their friends and further relatives, so quite a lot of families we can come across. Each book in the series is particularly dedicated to one of the characters (preferably a teenage girl or a young woman, though not always), so we can have a deeper insight into a particular heroine’s family. That being said, I have lots of interesting, loving and cool families to choose from in my favourite series. But I’ll go with the Borejko family, I’d love to be the fifth of the Borejko daughters (there are four), or I could replace Natalia, with whom I strongly identify. This is such a great family and I already feel like a part of it. And OMG I’d love for Mila Borejko to be my Mum, or even just anyone whom I’d know in real life, she has very many traits that I have, so I can understand her and identify with her, but she also has a lot of ones that I don’t have and which I always admire in people and respect them for.And boy wouldn’t it be cool to  have four sisters? Or even just three, if I’d be Natalia? 😀 One of my other favourite families is the Żak family, they’re so funny and witty and always make me laugh when I read the book that is particularly about them, but I am not sure whether I’d actually fit in there, I feel like the Borejko family are a bit more of my kind of people.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha, a lot of progress in my languages, particularly Welsh, but also English, writing, blogging. Starting therapy with the new therapist, whatever will come out of it, our first session was pretty good. Getting rid of the anxiety after the nightmares I had a few weeks ago and the anxiety afterwards was hard to overcome fully, it would come back happily in the evenings and at night and I hated it, and now it seems to be gone, I hope I’m not jinxing it.

 

Share Your World.

Share Your World At Cee’s.

 

Again, this week, after a bit of a break, I’m participating in Share Your World.

 

A class you wish you would have taken?

I wish I could take classes from all my languages. I don’t mean at college or anything, just some sort of good courses, that could be relevant to me and accessible to me as a blind person, whether online or somewhere in my area, I don’t care if individual or in a group. I am mentioning this because as much as it isn’t particularly difficult to find an accesible course online in such languages like English, Swedish, Dutch, or even Finnish if you’ll try a bit more, with the rest of my favourites you have to really try hard, be patient and inquiring, and very determined, to actually find something. I find it an absolute miracle that I’ve found that Welsh course I’m doing right now, that it is so accessible, simple and effective and with such a supportive community, and moreover, that the same people also created courses in Cornish, Manx and Dutch, so that I don’t have to look for another place, also I’ve had great friends from Wales outside from that community who helped me a lot particularly at the very beginnings. But if you think of another favourite languages of mine, like Faroese, Sami, or Frisian, or Scottish Gaelic, or Scots or Shetlandic, or Irish… uhhhh things get tougher. The consolation may be that many of the languages I love are more or less related, so maybe it won’t all be that scary, I wouldn’t like to give up just because something isn’t accessible online. So yeah, I just try to not think about that right now, maybe until I’ll start to learn them I’ll find some good place for myself, or someone eager to help with those extremely rare, extincting languages. But other than languages, I’d love to learn about Celtic and Nordic cultures, and I’d love to take classes in playing Celtic harp. And if I were sighted, I’d want to be a neurosurgeon, so anything on that topic too.

Are you scared of heights?

Yes. I used to be very very very like VERY scared of heights, now it lessened kinda on its own so it’s easier, but I still am.

Are you a good cook? If so, do you consider yourself a chef?

Absolutely not. My cooking always ends up with a catastrophe. You rather don’t trust me with it. Last time I tried to magnanimously help my Mum make a big family dinner earlier this year, I ended up with two fingers bleeding quite massively, I mean maybe not really bad, but bad enough that you wouldn’t think I’ve just grated them accidentally instead of vegs. I have a rich history of similar and worse cases from the times when I was at the boarding school.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha, writing, blogging, progress in my languages. Good session with the therapist, and that we got along and have similar opinions on me changing therapists. That I translated my previous music crush’s another poem, I’m still over the moon about that. That I had a beautiful dream the other night involving my current music crush. (God, my crushes, what I’d be without them) That we had a cool day on the beach with Mum and Zofijka. And that I’m doing fairly well emotionally and that my anxiety has lessened a bit more since that dreadful nightmare I had.

 

Share Your World.

Here are Cee’s questions for this week’sShare Your World

and my answers.

 

In regards to puzzle what’s your choice: jigsaw, crossword, word search, mazes, logic or numeric puzzles, something else, or nothing?

I have never been a big fan of puzzles, maybe because of my blindness, but I do like word games so sometimes I used to play word search, and I still sometimes happen to play jigsaw puzzles with Zofijka.

List at least five favorite treats and it doesn’t necessarily have to be food.

Chocolate, anything spicy – particularly crisps, listening to my favourite music, buying new gem stones to my collection, Misha, anything to do with Misha.

What is your favorite type of dog? (can be anything from a specific breed, a stuffed animal or character in a movie)

Hm, I have some fondness for Jack Russell terriers just because we were supposed to have one and they seem cute and just because they’re JACK Russell terriers and I love all Jacks unconditionally hahaha. And I like the dog that now lives with my Mum’s family at the place where we lived before, his name is Polar, he is so clever, he just gets humans and what they want from him better than they do themselves.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Getting my crush – Gwilym Bowen Rhys’s – new album and listening to it, it’s awesome. Getting in touch with one of the name experts from Nameberry and writing an article about Polish names for Nameberry, that was exciting for me and I enjoyed doing it, I hope something good will come out of it, it’s thrilling. Misha, writing other things and blogging.

 

Share Your World.

A little late this week, I’m catching up on Cee’s

Share Your World.

Since we are approaching the hottest part of our summer in the northern hemisphere, what’s your favorite ice-cream, frozen yogurt or sorbet flavor?  (Those of you who live down under I’m sure you remember what it is like in the hot summer months).

As for ice cream, I love chocolate with mint. I also like berry flavour, chocolate, toffi, many more. I don’t have frozen yoghurt or a classic sorbet very often.

How often do you people watch?

As often as I am around other people. I love people watching, I like to learn more about people, observe their behaviours and personalities, analyse them, etc. so much so that as I often mentioned before my grandad often calls me x-ray, for that I apparently scan people hahaha. Sometimes I’m better at it, sometimes worse, depending on a person, but I like doing it. You just have to always remember there is always an option you may be wrong in what you expect a person to be like, so that you don’t judge them too quickly, as it’s hard to change your mind about them afterwards. So I try to be an open-minded people watcher. I also like to people watch simply when I’m bored and have nothing more interesting to do, funny things you can see sometimes.

If you had a choice which would be your preference salt water beaches, fresh water lakes, ocean cruise, hot tub, ski resort or desert?

Hm, I think salt water beaches. Ocean cruise and hot tub sound very interesting as well, but because of all my motion issues and others alike I don’t think I’d decide on an ocean cruise, and hot tub may be a nice option from time to time, but isn’t very healthy for me on a more regular basis, as my skin gets dry and itchy with too much contact with water, and it couldn’t be too hot ’cause I often get freakin’ dizzy and faint after long hot baths, such a pity.But I really love the sea, so salt water beaches would be just right for me.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

It was an almost all alone week for me. My parents had gone to Szczecin for a few days trip last week, and I stayed home with Misha and Olek, but Olek was mainly out at work or with friends. Zofijka was at grandparents’. It was a cool and very productive week for me. Also I got to know that my music crush, Gwilym Bowen Rhys, will be releasing his new album in September which makes me so excited.

 

Share Your World.

A bit late this week, I’m joining Cee’s

Share Your World

Tell us about your first bicycle or car?
For obvious reasons I don’t own a car, but I had a tandem bicycle which my Dad bought me and sometimes when it was warm weather and I was at home for longer we were riding. I was never a particular fan of cycling, but it could be fun at times.

What fictional world or place would you like to visit?
Avalon, or Valhalla, or Asgard, or any of the fictional places in L. M. Montgomery’s books. There could be more possibilities if I thought more about it, I’m sure there are tons of fictional places I’d like to visit.

If you could have someone follow you around all the time, like a personal assistant, what would you have them do?
Doing all the smalltalk with people on my behalf, 😀 making my favourite meals for me, keeping me company when I need it or am bored or can’t sleep, read books for me, those that I myself can’t, clearing Misha’s litterbox, driving me places, helping me do stuff around the house, helping me with not accessible language courses or books  – I think there would be always something they could do. But first and foremost, leaving me alone when I need it, I think it would drive me crazy sooner or later if someone literally followed me everywhere. It could be cool having such an assistant, but it should be a really good person knowing their job and I would have to really trust them, which’s often not that easy process for me nowadays.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha, progress in my languages, writing, reading, blogging. The fourth anniversary since I got out of the boarding school, I’m so happy and grateful about it, it was 27th June. On 26th six months have passed since I’ve created my blog and I am also happy because of it. It was my nameday on Saturday and I spent a very nice day doing lots of stuff I liked. Zofijka has gone for swimmig camp on Saturday which gave all of us some relief ’cause as I mentioned multiple times she’s a very absorbing kid and we all needed a bit of a break, she’s having fun as far as I know. Misha seems to more outgoing now when Zofijka’s not here and he spends a lot of time with me and seems in a very sociable mood. I even have made a little, but for me very big success with him, namely I was able to convince him that nothing bad will happen if he’ll try to sleep throughout the night with me. And we slept together for the whole Sunday night, he lied beside me on the pillow and was very calm and purring quite loudly as for him when awake, and seemed content. I am proud of Misha that he did it, he never slept with no one for the whole night before, only in his basket on my bed or with a big big distance, or just for a while and then ran away, despite being two years with us. and now he slept through the entire night beside me. And I am proud of myself that I was able to show him it’s not that scary and convince him it can be very nice for both of us. On Sunday I spent a lot of time with my parents and it was very nice.

 

Share Your World.

Cee’s Share Your World

If aliens landed on earth tomorrow and offered to take you home with them, would you go? (remember this is SYW, they are friendly aliens)

I’ve never been particularly interested in other planets, or cosmos in general, or anything like this and I’ve always felt like the idea of flying somewhere on a different planet is a bit scary, you know, all those anxieties I have related to motion, doesn’t seem like a pleasant thing. However – I’ve thought about it more now, and I think I would be keen to take a risk. One of my online friends has invented an interesting term a few years ago – namely “alien syndrome” 😀 – so literally that you feel like an alien in your environment, and people may perceive you a bit like an alien, etc. all for fun, but I immediately felt like – OH, that’s me. So, being an alien with “alien syndrome”, I shouldn’t waste a chance and I definitely should go with them. And maybe I wouldn’t be an alien then. Yes, it could be very interesting for sure. So I would go with them. Although I think I would miss my earthly family sometimes. Oh! And how I could forget! There’s no way I could go anywhere without Misha, so I’m only going if they let me take him with me. But if they’re “my” aliens, they sure would. 😀

How tall are you? Are you satisfied with your height?

I’m 168 cm, so I think something in the middle. I could be a few centimetres taller, but it’s just fine as it is. The more that I actually could end up much worse. I have hypopituitarism and apparently hypothyroidism, so I have growth hormone deficiency and by default I would stop at 140 cm. Grrrrrrrrrr!!! Scary!!! I mean very scary, because my family is rather tall, my brother is 190 cm or maybe more. but of course I was taking hormones so that I would grow more. But then I got an endocrynologist who was a small, corpulent lady and always in awe of my Mum’s height and she wanted me to be as high as my Mum, who is 180, and you just couldn’t persuade her I don’t need to be so tall, I’m  not gonna be a cheerleader or anything. I wasn’t that happy with it because… well, why the heck do I need to be so tall? But luckily then I changed the endocrynologist suddenly and she was OK with stopping it and understood me and my Mum that such height as 180 cm would be only a hindrance for me, so I stopped taking it, grew a little more by myself and so I’m 168, and happy with it. So maybe I could be something like, 170 cm or maybe even 172, but I’m lucky enough that I’m not too short and not too tall and could almost choose the height I wanted. The benefits of having growth hormone deficiency hahaha.Still though I meet people who say I’m tall, my horse riding instructor actually says it all the time, I guess it’s because I’m slim, the impression my instructor gets is probably because I’ve long legs and she always has to lengthen the stirrups for me no matter who rode before me lol.

Do you think you could live without your smartphone (or other technology item) for 24 hours?

Without my phone, why not? I can even longer. Without my laptop – hard and boring, but manageable if necessary, plus I still have my Braille-Sense that can somehow replace the computer for me, although there are so many things I only do online that whenever I don’t have the Internet for long it can be challenging. But without my reading devices, on which I also have music, particularly without Plextalk, it would be very hard.And very boring. And hardly manageable. I carry my Plextalk everywhere when I go out of the house. 😀 I guess I might be a bit addicted, but it’s not PlexTalk I’m addicted to but books and music and sometimes, particularly when I’m on the way to somewheere it’s the only way for me to practice my languages.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha, starting new level of my Welsh language course, blogging, writing, support from my friends, massage on Friday, which seemed a very hard experience for various and complex reasons which I talked about before, but turned ut to be cool and very relaxing.

 

Share Your World.

Share Your World

 

You can have an unlimited supply of one thing for the rest of your life, what is it? Sushi? Scotch Tape?

KEFIR!!! There’s never too much kefir.

Teleportation or flying?

Definitely teleportation. I’ve never flew but the prospect of it seems a little bit scary for me. If even riding by car for longer distances makes me dizzy then what it would be like to fly? Teleportation definitely feels safer and more pleasant.

Would you rather live where it only snows or the temperature never falls below 100 degrees?

I think I’m gonna pick snow. It can be annoying, but I much prefer colder temps to the heat. I mean it’s nice when it’s warm for a while, but long term it can make me pretty sick, so the snows sound much better. You can still turn the heating on or wrap up in as many blankets as you wish. When you’re hot, there’s not much you can do to really cool down.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Last week was really good for me. As always, I’m thankful for Misha, and I appreciated all the opportunities I had to blog, read, write, and any progress in my languages I’ve made, particularly in Swedish. On Sunday I was on the trip to the Hel Peninsula with my family, which went really well. We were on the beach and just hanging around, also had ice cream enjoyed ourselves.

Share Your World.

Here are my answers for Cee’s questions in Share Your World.

If you were to pack a basket for picnic lunch, what would be in your basket?

I’m not big on picnics, but let’s think… garlic bread rolls, some yummy cheese, small piri piri sausages, some chicken, maybe chicken breasts, radishes, olives black and green, maybe other vegs, a bottle of kefir, or Pepsi, or blueberry yoghurt, quite different things but that’s what in my opinion suits best when you eat outdoors, and I would pack some fruit too and and some treats, like some biscuits, spicy crisps or chocolate. These are some of my ideas.

On a vacation what you would require in any place that you sleep?

No tents, no campings, no sleeping bags, no such things, yuck I’m fed up and I don’t think it’ll ever end although the last time I was sleeping in the tent was more than four years ago, I don’t miss it.  I would need a comfy room with a comfy bed, with at least two pillows and some fresh air but not too cold ’cause my feet are always cold and although I don’t care about it during the day, it can make falling asleep hard sometimes. Unless I could be able to make myself a hot bottle or something, then I don’t mind how cold it is in the room. I like having my room cool while I sleep but I need to keep my feet warm, otherwise all is nuts. Unless the temperatures would be like we have today, I think it’s the hottest day in this year so far, so in such case I would definitely manage without any warmers.

If you were to buy a new house/apartment what is the top three items on your wish list?

It would definitely be a house, not an apartment. I would like the bedroom to be possibly distant from the living room or dining room even just because  if some people would come over they wouldn’t pry into my private space and if I were to live there with my family I wouldn’t have to get through the whole living area to get to my room when someone is having guests or something. We had our previous house arranged this way and it was terribly annoying – I came back from somewhere for example and there were my Dad’s friends in the living room, so of course I couldn’t just pass them away but we had a whole ceremony of greetings even though they and me barely knew each other. 😀 Same repeated whenever I or any of my siblings needed to the bathroom or anywhere actually. If we’d live together I think it would be wise to have two bathrooms. And a balcony could be nice.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week? Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha, progress iin my languages, blogging,writing. On Monday I had an psych appointment and I was finally assessed and diagnosed with dysthymia and AVPD. It was a bit exhausting, but I think good overall, and at least I know what’s up with me. It was Mother’s Day on Saturday and Zofijka’s birthday on Sunday, and, apart from some minor but rather rough incidents taking place on both days and affecting me quite a lot, I enjoyed the weekend and overall it was fun. Also I finally managed to get the new book by my favourite writer Małgorzata Musierowicz and I had loads of pleasure reading it, pity though that is already over, I’m waiting for the next one. It was quite a cool week overall, I must say.

 

Share Your World.

Here are this week’s questions for Cee’s Share Your World and my answers. If you’d like to participate in SYW, too, you can go over to Cee’s post here.

https://ceenphotography.com/2018/05/14/share-your-world-may-14-2018/

Complete this sentence: This sandwich could really use some …
…spices. Well it depends on the kind of this sandwich, I am not this sort of person who likes really weird tasting things and mixing up honey with chilli or anything like this, but if we are talking about cheese sandwiches, or any other that go well with spices, I need some spices on it. I love spicy food. It tastes weird when your sandwich is all covered with spices though. I like adding chilli pepper, black pepper or Cayenne pepper the most. I am not a big fan of sauces. My Dad is though, and he also likes spicy sandwiches, and you can find everything and anything on his. He likes making sandwiches for himself and for others and he usually pours them lavishly with a sauce, be it a dressing, mayo, ketchup, or even a chilli sauce, to the extend that sometimes the bread actually absorbs it and all you feel is sauce. I’ve been eating a lot of sprouts with my sandwiches lately and believe me, adding them makes a difference, the food feels like… dunno, fresher, or more concrete. I hate ham though, or salami, or stuff like that and it is because when I was at school we had sandwiches with ham for almost every breakfast and supper. I can’t stand it nowadays, unless baked or homemade.

What is your least favorite candy?
I don’t like most of those candies with gooey feelings, I like some toffi candies, but generally I don’t like the gooey fillings. I hate marshmallows and anything marshmallow-ish in texture. And anything that pretends to be chocolate. I also don’t like candies filled with alcohol and the kinds that are sooo incredibly sour, although I like some moderately sour candies. But what I hate the most are chocolate truffles. Ughhh I really don’t know why I hate them so much, but I also really don’t know how anyone can like them and why. Some say they are such luxurious candies, but for me they’re just… ew… can’t find an adequate word. Of course no offense to those who like them, who seems to be many, just because I hate them doesn’t mean you have too or that I hate you too because you like truffles lol.

What sign are you? Do you believe in astrology?

I am an Aquarius. Do I believe in astrology, hmm, that’s a complex thing… Generally, I don’t believe in horoscopes that you can find in magazines or online just next to all kinds of news. They are just ridiculous and the only reason I can think of for reading them is to laugh. Also I wouldn’t say that the characteristics of Aquarius you can find on most astrological websites fits me, well there are things that do, but overall it’s nothing that could describe me well and I feel like I could relate to characteristics of other signs much easier, like Pisces, or Gemini, or maybe Cancer in some way. But on the other hand, the descriptions on the popular sites can be very vague, plus it is not only your birth sign involved in it. There are also other astrological factors that make for what you’re like. And there are books on the topic which go deeper into details about the particular signs, their traits, tendencies and such, as well as how the people born in particular decades of the sign can differ etc. And there still are other factors, not astrological, that shape us, lots and lots of them, so we shouldn’t expect from an online, not personalised astrological description to fit us perfectly. I’ve been fascinated in different types of people’s personalities, plus I had a stormy episode in my life when I was interested in everything related to esoterics, and I observed that actually some more detailed characteristics can fit people very often. And that’s why I can say I believe in astrology. “But wait… you told me you are Christian”. Did you think so? Yes, I am Christian and I am a practitioner. I am no longer so very interested in astrology and all things esoteric as I was as a teen. And I don’t want to know my future, it won’t change anything and it is overly audacious in my opinion to want to know it. If we were supposed to know the future, we would live in the future, not in the present, or we would all be seers. But astrology makes sense, if you look at it rationally. After all, in the medieval times, it was common for monks and clergy to be astrologists. Only now, when astrology became commercialised and people make a huge business of it, it looks so ridiculous and superstitious and seems to evolve only around three line love horoscopes for desperate singles. My Mum, who is also a practicing Christian and helped me to kinda re-convert and get out of that spiritual mud I was sinking in, also believes astrology makes a lot of sense. My Mum has a moon calendar and as a lifestyle geek is very interested in how the Moon affects our health, and also growth of plants and similar things. She says that if the Moon can affect our body, if women used to always get period with the full moon, why can’t it affect us on other levels? There is even such a branch of astrology apparently, astrological medicine. I had a book about it, a very old book written in very beautiful, archaic Polish. And there was a whole long chapter on what may particular signs tend to struggle with health wise. ANd I checked it just for fun, whether it is true for me and Mum. And of course it was an old book, so there were stuff that we nowadays don’t suffer from, but there were things that are still actual and that we could relate to, which made us laugh and very surprised. So yeah, I don’t involve in astrology too much, but I do believe in it. As I believe in a few other things considered superstitious, controversial, sinful, foolish or outmoded.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week? Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha, blogging. Writing my math exam and two English exams. Math exam probably went very badly, but I’ll wait until the results come. I don’t worry too much about it. I mean, it would be fantastic if I passed it, I would love it, I worked so much on it, but I won’t be desperate, and won’t take the exam again if it’ll go wrong. But I’ll actually be surprised if I’d pass it because my brain felt really empty when I was writing it and I actually was writing for the sake of writing, so that the committee wouldn’t think I’m completely clueless, it was pure improvising. But you can’t imagine how happy I was when I got out of the school. It was my last direct meeting with maths. I felt so relieved and free afterwards. I spent a nice afternoon that day, having a huge plate of spaghetti with garlic and pepper at the Italian restaurant nearby and walking around the city with my family. Then we went to the hostel where we were living at the time of my exams and because my stress was huge in the morning and then dropped so suddenly, it left me with a very annoying headache, so althugh it was just 4 PM I went to bed and spent there the rest of that day, but it was still very productive, because I was reading my first book in Welsh. Nooo not Mabinogion yet, a book for children. “Matilda” by Roald Dahl, in Welsh version. And I was laughing a lot with Zofijka. English was easy-peasy, and I also appreciated that. My committee at both English exams couldn’t believe how quickly I wrote both of them. You have 4 h 15 mins in total for each exam, and I did it in 1 hour 45 mins. 😀 I was even more happy that I didn’t have any more encounters with the headmistress of the school, as I had last week. And I was very happy to go home. That was the most pleasant thing last week. also I was focusing a lot on my past this week, in terms of whether it is traumatic or not and why etc. and my Mum wanted to talk a lot about it, since it’s not only a deal for me. Emotionally it was a little intense at times this past week. On Sunday we went out to have some ice cream and have a walk by the sea. It was very very windy there so we ended up taking our ice cream and heading back home with them as we weren’t prepared for that windy weather. There are only 15 km from us to the beach we went to and it was a very sunny day where we live, but although there was still sun shining at the beach, the wind was really strong and cold and we were in short sleeves.

Share Your World.

So finally time to answer Cee’squestions.

If you were given $22 million tax free dollars (any currency), what is the first thing you would do? (This is just a dream question, remember anything can happen in SYW.)

Oh wow, that sounds so fabulous! I’d share some amount with my immediate family, some amount I would use to help or just make happy some of my friends, maybe would also support some charities. Then I’d buy a brother for Misha and lots of toys and other stuff for them. Not like I crave so much for another cat, but Misha does very clearly. I’d probably buy myself a house, or at least a vacation house, somewhere in the British countryside. And the rest would most probably go to the bank.

In what do you find the simplest of joys?

Misha, his purring, hhrrruing, when he wants to be close with me, which isn’t so very often as he is a reserved creature, blogging and interacting with my readers, laughing at silly things with Zofijka, writing almost whatever, doing stuff with my languages, spending quality time with my Mum, writing with my online friends, reading interesting or funny books, listening to music, particularly my music crushes’, horse riding, developing any of my interests in any way, yummy food/drinks, any achievements in learning languages or in horse riding, sleeping.

What would be your ideal birthday present, and why?

Um, I always have a problem with presents. Whenever I need something small, I always buy it for myself, well I know the best what I want and no one knows me as well as I know myself. So then when people ask me what I want to get for birthday I just don’t know because I have everything I need. Currently there aren’t any things that I can’t get for myself that others could get me as a present. Well I would always appreciate anything that someone bought or made thinking about me and especially for me even just because of the effort they put in it, plus if they put so much effort in it usually it is something I just like because they know what I like.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Last week was very stressful for me because of the finals coming. On Thursday we had a little family gathering and it was very nice. On Friday I had to go to that school for the blind to write my finals there. I couldn’t sleep that night and we had to get up at 4 so it was an awful Zombie day. The exam itself went well though, or so I think, because I’ll get the result on 3rd July. Afterwards though there was a very unpleasant incident with the headmistress of that school who not only was incredibly rude to both me and my Mum, but also actually triggered me and the very stormy meeting with her brought memories to my brain of which I actually wasn’t aware before that I have such memories. This was very tough and left me very unsettled so that I couldn’t pick myself up for days, but my family was very supportive which I really appreciate, as well as the support of my friends. I am also glad that I wrote that exam, no matter what the outcome will be. The weekend was rough too, I was just blah and still very triggered, but had some nice time with my Mum and talked through lots of stuff we never talked about before. In some way I also appreciate what happened to me on Friday, because it opened my eyes that I’ve really come through some kind of trauma, which I desperately denied for years as well as I could, and as I said it let to me and my Mum discussing plenty of important things that were, and in some way still are, standing between us.

 

Share Your World.

Time to answer Cee’s questions for this week.

Do you use paper money? If so is your money organised sequentially according to denomination?

I use paper money very rarely, most of the time when I do any of my shopping on my own I do it online, and if not, I rather prefer to use coins because it’s easier to distinguish them if you can’t see. But no matter if I use coins or paper money, I always try to have them organised by denomination so I don’t have to spend too much time searching for the one I need, even though nowadays my Mum usually goes with me so she can help me.

You are comfortable doing nothing? For long stretches of time?

Not really. Although I’m not like hyperactive, I am not good at just sitting still and staring on the walls and thinking/meditating. I’m a kind of multi-tasker, at least intellectually, and my brain gets bored easily when I have to just sit still not having anything to really focus on. Unless I have a lot of interesting things to think about.

What is your greatest strength?

Hmm, don’t really know, maybe my empathy? Although it doesn’t always feel like a strength. Hard to say.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week? Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha, progress in my languages, reading lots of interesting books, finishing school year (yaaaaaaaayyyyy!) and finishing with my Maths lessons. I still can’t quite believe it’s over, probably because I have my final exams yet to pass, but yeah, it’s over, I’ve been so fed up with school and education, well not in education in general, I’m still learning Welsh and stuff, but all that shitty school stuff around which there is always much more fuss than it’s really needed. Although I’ve never cared a lot about marks, it is always nice to hear that you have the highest average among all the classes for adults, which happened to me, much to my surprise, so yeah, I was happy about that. Althoug I felt like it’s a bit unfair – I know there were so many people learning much harder than I did, and caring much more about their results, and for me it all was relatively easy and didn’t crave much work, even despite I was learning mostly on my own, apart from maths.

https://ceenphotography.com/2018/04/30/share-your-world-april-30-2018/

Share Your World.

If you could have an endless supply of any food, what would you get?

Hmmmm, thinking… thinking… crrrrriiiiiiiiiiiissssssspssssssssssss!!! very spicy, crispy crisps. Pepperoni crisps, or chilli crisps. But no, seriously, don’t think so. I always seem to burn all the calories in food with just thinking, because now I don’t do any sports or even exercises since a couple of months already and my weight is still stuck at 45 kg, but I guess that if I started to devour crisps endlessly things would change drastically. 😀 Not the nicest perspective, I suppose, but since it’s just theoretical, maybe my weight gain would be theoretical too. 😉 Other than that, my Mum complains I look “malnourished”, so I guess she’d be glad if things would change. 😛

List at least five movies or books that cheer you up.

Any book in “Jeżycjada” series by “Małgorzata Musierowicz” (so there are around 20 books actually), “A Tangled Web” by Lucy Maud Montgomery, the Polish movie “miś”, any good, British film, and Polish fantasy series by Katarzyna Berenika Miszczuk about a girl who dies and describes her afterlife in hell and in heaven, at times I was rolling on the floor reading it.

If you were a mouse in your house in the evening, what would you see your family doing?

If I were a mouse in my house at whatever time of day, I would get quickly explored and encountered by Misha and then annihilated and chucked out by Dad. 😀 But maybe I could see something interesting before they’d unmask me. Maybe I’d be able to familiarise with all the food in the pantry or the sprouts my Mum is growing in the kitchen. If it was evening and I’d be very silent and careful, maybe I could see Dad watching some shit on TV, or Mum making the supper, heard Zofijka taking a shower or Olek coming back from God knows where. Or this voracious monster Misha, who can approach me any minute and do with me whatever his instinct would tell him.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week? Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha, blogging, writing, progress in my languages, writing maths control assignment, passing Maths exams and geography oral exam, finishing my term session, had some nice dreams, was feeling relatively well emotionally last week, or at least better than most of the time recently.

Thanks so much to Cee for hosting SYW.

https://ceenphotography.com/2018/04/23/share-your-world-april-23-2018/

Share Your World.

Traditionally, I’m answering Cee’s questions which she asks us every week in her Share Your World

series.

 

Been anywhere recently for the first time?

Recently? Don’t remember, so guess not.

 

List three favorite book characters.

Valancy Stirling – “Blue Castle”.

Dean Priest – “Emily Of New Moon” series (and almost all the characters from these series, but for some reason I’ve always really liked Dean).

Melania (Mila) Borejko – “Jeżycjada” series.

 

What is your favorite non alcololic drink: hot or cold?

Kefir, kefir, kefir, kefir and… hmm, did I mention kefir? Other than that, water, or water with lemon juice, raspberry tea is my newest discovery, hot chocolate or cocoa, although I rarely have it, strong, black coffee, but also latte or cappucino, buttermilk, orange juice, Pepsi, milkshakes, almond milk.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha, blogging and writing, some nice time with my Mum. I had a Zombie day =completely sleepless night last week and after that I was so sleepy that my sleep cycle settled a bit, but it’s still not perfect, but at least something. My family finally got over this tummy bug so at least one less thing I’m anxious about. I finally wrote my History control assignment, couldn’t motivate to it for a long time and it wasn’t a masterpiece, but at least i did it and passed. Misha has a new cartonboard house in my room where he sleeps willingly and spends all days and nights with me which’s nice. My crush Gwilym Bowen Rhys released an album, or rather took part on the album with various other artists, it was released on 6th April, there are two songs of his, I always love it when my music crushes make something new, of course I am a happy owner of this album already.

 

Share Your World.

Time to participate in Cee’s Share Your World

What was or is your favorite cartoon?
Gummi Bears. I loved them so much as a kid and watched every Sunday. Now I don’t watch cartoons at all though.

Which cooking utensil (other than the usual pots and pans etc) would you miss the most?
I think none in particular, as I don’t cook for myself.

Would you dare to sleep in haunted house overnight?
Oh no no no nooo! Absolutely not. 😀 I have times when even the slightest sounds in the house at night can scare the hell out of me, so no, thanks so much for the offer. 😀

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Honestly it was a horrid week for me, fulled of anxiety of all kinds an other crap, but there was Easter and some positives were for sure. Misha, blogging and writing as always. Easter Sunday was actually very nice, the only day I could call nice in the past week. We had a lot of family time. I got a present for Zofijka – a Sinsay gift card, some jelly beans and other sweets – and Zofijka surprised us all. She bought presents for all of us! For me, she made a bunny of sock filled with rice, and she wrote Bibiel on it. Bibiel is how she often calls me for fun. It’s sweet. Also she got me a bath salt and Toffifee, and Toffifee is always nice. We had a lot of yummy food o Easter of course which was enjoyable for all of us. At the beginning of the last week I passed one of my ENglish exams, the written one. My school ENglish exams are always very easy, so it was rather a piece of piss for me, but I’m glad I have one more exam passed. As for things related to my blog, I’m glad that on Monday two months have passed since I started blogging and also I got two blog awards last week which made me happy.

Thanks for hosting as always, Cee. 🙂

 

Share Your World.

It’s time for Share Your World. Thanks to Ceefor holding this challenge.

 

What is your favorite color of hair? You can name your hair color or a color that you just like.

Black. I used to have my hair dyed black all the time, I loved it. I wanted to look Gothic, which was easy because I have a very pale skin. I still love black, anything black, but I stopped dying my hair sometime ago. It’s laborious and time consuming, and I’m not this kind of girl who has the patience for embellishing herself for hours, especially that now I spend most of my time alone or with closest family, and I’d need someone’s help with it. I didn’t like though if my hair colour had some red glimmers and apparently it didn’t even look well with me overall. Though, despite I don’t like red colour in general, sometimes I used to dye my hair all red, kind of red orange, because it also fit me and I liked it, although not all the time. Some people were saying I look Celtic. 😀

List at least 5 things that you are good at.

Hm, let’s think… Languages, well I like learning them and my family constantly says I’m sooo very good. Listening to other people, or at least so I can think because lots of people in my family and others have been telling me lots of important stuff for them, and I like to listen to other people’s stories and learn about them. “Feeling other people, I mean I can easily know things about their personality, what they are feeling, what they like or not. Because of that, my grandad often calls me X-ray. 😀 He says I can read minds, but that’s obviously not true lol. Hm, what else… some people say I have a god sense of humour, actually that was my specialty at school – making others laugh, ’cause it helped me too. Some say my sense of humour is a bit dark/sarcastic. Actually I have this thing after my Dad that I find it possible to laugh off actually anything, like I have that kinda “inner voice” commenting things and making them look ridiculous, but because at the same time I know when to stay serious, I always try to suppress it, although I got into trouble a few times because of this thing. 😀 And the last thing… hm, I have huge, free and absolutely undaunted imagination. Sometimes I just wish I wouldn’t have it, but overall, I wouldn’t be able to exist without it at all. So it’s like my best friend and archenemy at the same time.

What is your favorite animal or type of animal? (pets, dolphins, stuffed, wild cats, etc)

Cats, especially Russian blue (obviously) and horses.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha, blogging, writing, an appt with the therapist specialising in personality disorder, which helped me clear up many things about me and my life and the world in general, and maybe will lead me to getting a diagnosis finally, which in turn, as I hope, will help me to get myself better and get appropriate help. I didn’t have Maths this past week at all yaay! well, I’m sorry for my Maths tutor, she’s ill so often, but was just happy for myself, it’s so overwhelming and brain draining. Passed two of my term exams at school, and although wasn’t able to prepare much, they seemed to go relatively well. And wrote another control assignment for school, so now have only two to make. Was making a birthday present for my friend Carol Anne

which was a lot of fun and we spend a lot of time with Mum doing i. Overall it was a rather tough week, but also some very positive things happened, as you see.

Share Your World – March 19, 2018.

What is your earliest memory?

Many people with whom I’ve shared this memory say it’s impossible to have such early memories, as I was 2 years old then, but anyway I remember it and it is too vivid and subjective to be just something I remember from what others told me, in my opinion, also when I talked to my parents about it they told me they never knew that I perceived that situation this way.

This memory is about my brother’s birth, or rather a bit afterwards. I only remember that me and Dad went to Mum to the hospital, after he was born. I remember being in the lift for the first time and being a little bit afraid, I was often afraid of such kind of motion, something moving up and down, because of my balance issues. Then we came in to the room where Mum lied, she was rather weak and didn’t talk much as she probably still was under the influence of anesthetics (we were all born through caesaeran section). She let me touch her tummy and the impresson of this moment has stayed with me for very long. I felt her stitches and it somehow moved me very deeply. I know I felt like it is my brother’s fault and it has to be very painful for Mum. I told them he had to be terrible if she now looks like this and my Dad was laughing he surely is an absolute monster. Then I remember us leaving and being n the lift again and going out of the hospital and nothing more about it. But I’ve often thought this situation had to have some significant influence on me. My parents told me, and I remember some bits and pieces myself, that I was often pretty rude for Olek, yelling at him or punching him all of the sudden and not letting him touch me, although it wasn’t a long period of time, but I guess we never had a proper/normal sibling relationship, mainly because of our limited contact as I spent most of my childhood away from home.

Which way does the toilet paper roll go? Over or under?

Over.

What makes you feel grounded?

Having my feet on the ground, warmth, but not heat, touching Misha and his purr, soft, relaxing music, deep breathing, and for some reason which I don’t really get – the scent and taste of mint.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha

, progress in my languages, blogging, strengthening relationship with my Mum. I was doing a lot of self care stuff this week, much more than usual. On Monday I had a very nice morning. Dad needed to do something in the port, he delivers fuel, often to ports, and has other things to do there related to his work as well. He offered my Mum to go with him and as she agreed, I decided to go with them too. While Dad was in the port, we were at the Sea

and it was very nice and beautiful and we had a great time together, we also spent a lot of time together after we got back home. Yesterday we all were in a restaurant and had a big dinner, very yummy. It was anxiety provoking, it is always very anxiety provoking for me to go out and there was a lot of people, I also find it rather stressful to eat among many people, but despite all that anxiety it was very nice, I can’t remember when was the last time before yesterday that I was in a restaurant. 😀 I guess more than a year ago. and although overall my week was rather uneventful, it was mostly good.

This challenge is hosted by Cee

. Thanks so much. 🙂

 

Share Your World – March 12, 2018.

If a distant uncle dies and you were always his favorite and leaves you $50,000 (any currency) in his will, what would you do?
I think I would share with my family and friends, buy another Russian blue cat for Misha, not as much because I want another one but because Misha seems to desperately crave other cat’s company, I would buy myself a house in the rural North Wales and would live there with my Mum. The rest I’d spend for my linguistic development and just for everyday life. That are ideas that came to me instantly.

What sound or sounds do you love?
First of all I am one of those lucky individuals who can experience ASMR so there are SOOOO MANY of such sounds, btw that’s a great idea for a separate post because I’m more than sure I won’t be able to write about all of them right now, they’re just too many. My favourite is the sound of Celtic harp, I generally like string instruments from Celtic harp to bouzouki to medieval lute to electric guitar, and many other instruments not only stringed of course too. I love all the sounds inside of Misha, his purrs, breath, heartbeat, his “Hhrrru?”, his meows, his sneezing, gurgling in his tummy, his steps, how he eats and drinks… I only don’t like the sound of him puking but I’m emetophobic so that’s not a surprise. 😀 I love the sound of my languages, various accents, particular words, I love the sound of typing, stilettoes, old doors, rain, my musical crushes’ voices, sounds of the kitchen… Just so many sounds of very different kinds.

What’s your middle name? Why?
Anna, after my Mum. My second middle name is Luiza. Actually it’s my confirmation name and people often say confirmation name doesn’t count, but I feel like it does, firstly because it still IS my name in some way, secondly because it’s beautiful so… hm, why not? 😀 and thirdly because I use it in various situations and in some places online. I’ve loved it all the time even before my confirmation, but I slightly regret that I didn’t choose a name speciffically after a saint, not just because I like it, as it should be for confirmation. But back then I was just so much in love with Luiza and couldn’t see myself with other confirmation name. And I think it fits me. Plus there is servant of God Luisa Piccarreta, amazing figure, so I think about her as my patron. And doesn’t Emilia Anna Luiza flow well? 😀 Yeah, since I’ve changed my name legally a few years ago, I am really glad of it.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week? Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha, blogging, progress in my language, my mood’s elevation, relatively low anxiety. I really appreciated the fact I’ve come closer to getting my actual psychiatric diagnosis, although it was also very hard – finding out that I’m AVPD almost for sure, my Mum’s support and help mean a lot to me. I feel like our relationship become somehow closer over last week. We talked through a lot of important things, I opened up to her more than I’ve done recently and she was honest with me as for her feelings. Lots of nice moments with Zofijka as well. And quite good sleep, at least after that one night during which I didn’t sleep at all. I appreciated the support and kind words of my online friends and my pen pals who were supporting me at the beginning of last week when I wasn’t in the best place emotionally. I am glad I’ve done my geography assignment, this is just one o many assignments I need to write for this term, but it’s always something, I’m glad I don’t need to worry about it any longer and can get it out of my head. On Sunday I had a very nice evening with my Mum, we went for a long walk and then had a drink. Ah, and my leg, on which I had an infection or something, a rather chronic thing, has finally healed almost completely, it doesn’t hurt anymore at all, although I know I’ll have a scar from it, ug. But actually I was afraid it’ll linger for for a longer time.Quite a lot, isn’t it?

Thanks to Cee for hosting. 🙂

https://ceenphotography.com/2018/03/12/share-your-world-march-12-2018/