Question of the day (9th February).

Hi people! πŸ™‚

Here’s my overdue question for you:

What was the last conversation you had in person and with whom?

Myy answer:

I was talking to Sofi about why she can’t have Messenger on her laptop. That is, the reason is very obvious and simple – Mum doesn’t want it, and I wholeheartedly agree with her – but of course Sofi wanted some more sound reason, why Mum doesn’t let her. Now she’s sulking a bit but of course it’s her choice. πŸ˜€

How about you? πŸ™‚

Myra Granberg – “Tills Mitt HjΓ€rta GΓ₯r Under” (Until My Heart Dies).

Hi people! πŸ™‚

So I’m back, I will write more on that later. For now, I’m sharing a song with you, a song by a young Swedish artist Myra Granberg. When I first came across her and her music, I was quite surprised how her name could be Myra if she’s Swedish, since myra means “ant” in Swedish, so I was thinking either it must be her stage name or she’s a native English-speaker or something. It seems though that indeed she probably pronounces her name the English way, rather than like the Swedish word, because one of her other artist names has been Majro (the other one is Lvly).

Anyways, as I’ve read, she wrote this song during the summer heatwave in 2018 and it is a love anthem for her little sister, which I think is so very cool! πŸ™‚ The song is very nice and I can understand why it was so popular in Sweden.

Question of the day.

Hi lovely people! πŸ™‚

I have another question for you about you and your siblings today. πŸ™‚

If you have more than one sibling, are you closer to one sibling than another/others?

My answer:

Definitely! As weird as that may be, I am much closer to Zofijka than Olek, despite she is much younger than me than Olek is. I was never very close to Olek. As a small child, I didn’t even like him, I feel, though it’s hard for me to say whether it was a sort of dislike like you usually have between siblings because of the rivalry and such, especially if there is not a big age difference between you and your siblings and you’re of opposite genders, or was it something bigger. I’ve written on here a few times that my very first memory is that of Olek being born and I didn’t like it at all, and that I was very nasty to him later on when we were both very small, like apparently I could come over to him and suddenly start to punch him with something very energetically for no apparent reason, or I was telling him when he can talk to me and when he can’t, like we would have a conversation and then I’d get annoyed with something or bored or whatever and was like “I don’t wanna talk to you anymore”. πŸ˜€ We played sometimes and had fun but as far as I can remember there wasn’t much of my initiative in it. I went to the boarding school when I was 5 so then I had much less contact with him, especially that in the first years of my stay there, if my parents wanted to see me in between school breaks and holidays they’d rather go to me than take me home, and then Olek stayed with grandparents for that time, usually. So we didn’t really get a possibility to strengthen our bond somehow. And we kept going further and further from each other with our lives, it was awkward for us to talk to each other a bit because we didn’t even know such things about each other like most siblings do, like what each other likes in greater detail or thinks about certain things, for example. When I ultimately came home after leaving that school at 17, in a way I felt weird because until then, I was moving between those two places and not really feeling like I belonged to any of them, and now as I was home for good I started to really feel like a stranger in the family in that I didn’t know about a lot of things, my family, other than my parents and Sofi, didn’t even know much about me other than the dry and mostly obvious facts, and it was all just a bit odd. Since then, five years have passed and I’ve caught up on most of those things, at least to some degree, because some things you can’t undo, I still struggle with the sense of belonging a lot, though not as much as I used to, but I feel much closer with my immediate family and have strengthened relationships with some of my extended family like my grandparents. My relationship with Olek is one of those things that haven’t changed much at all. We talk a little bit about casual things when we see each other throughout the day, sometimes will exchange some sarcastic comments on something or talk about what we’ve been doing during the day but that’s pretty much it. It’s very hard for me to initiate conversations with people around whom I feel awkward, and, while Olek doesn’t have social anxiety or anything like that, it must be tricky for him too. We live in one house, but our lives are very different and not very connected, and other people see the distance between us very clearly from what I can notice. I like him, we are kind for each other as fellow human beings should, but I sort of don’t feel the same intensity of feelings to him as I do to the rest of my immediate family. And I feel quite yucky because of it because it feels so callous not to have any deeper feelings for your brother just because.

With Sofi, it is an entirely different matter! We are both very very different from each other, so there’s plenty of conflicts, misunderstandings, calling each other names (more or less humourously), irritating each other etc. especially that Zofijka is rather impulsive so it’s easy to argue with her or make her angry or she goes moody and doesn’t talk to you for an hour or snaps out for no reason and then 5 minutes after that all is OK again. We play a lot, we spend lots of time together. We laugh at similar things, at least when it comes to situational humour, or some objectively childish/immature stuff that other people just don’t get, because they are either too serious (most adult people we both know) or too stupid (most kids and teens we both know) for that and they just scratch their heads in confusion when we suddenly both start choking with homeric laughter. We talk a lot about lots of things, make up silly games (like that Misha can talk via the connection between his brain and the brain of one of us, or creating the most ridiculous sentence, but such that will still make sense, in which all the words start with the same letter, or Zombie invasions, or make our own mock versions of stupid popular TV shows, or just coming up with the worst tortures for each other). Sometimes I help Sofi with her school work, though my patience is very limited in this field so it rarely ends up well, it drives me crazy when she doesn’t even try to think on her own or makes stupid mistakes so I don’t meedle in her school work unless she asks me too because I don’t want to discourage her or make her think she isn’t good at school work just because I get pissed off with lack of thinking in people. πŸ˜€ There are things that Zofijka seems to prefer to talk to me about or ask me about rather than Mum, because she feels embarrassed with Mum for some reason, she tends to ask me loads of tricky questions about stiff like sex, divorce or suicide, to give you a few most recent examples. She still wants me to tell her bed time stories and lay in bed with her, before she falls asleep, like seriously, she’s addicted! That often annoys me but we often have lots of interesting night talks because of this. The stories Zofijka likes most are about a creature called Jim, who is 3000 years old, but looks like a 12-year-old boy, he is a Jimosaurus, lives in a forest in Australia, and is the king of all the animals in it. He has a hut deep inside the forest, and, while he can eat normal, human food and likes it, it’s not nutritional to him, he lives on helping others. So when he feels hungry, he jumps on the roof of his hut with his special binoculars and looks around the world if someone/something needs his help. If so, which is of course always the case, he puts on his leather wings and flies there, with his friend Zofijka the Bee, just in case, because she is an excellent healer and nurse and can care for humans and animals and plants. And his monarchal duties are taken up by his friend bear, who is always sleepy and always clumsy and doesn’t have the best memory, so a lot of unpredictable things happen in the forest during his reigns because he doesn’t have any control or authority. Sofi loves Jim since she was 5 and still dreams that one day he’ll come to her and make her knees better so she can rollerskate, or help her with any other dilemma she may have at a given moment. She also likes stories about Misha, and what his life would be like if he was a human. Zofijka helps me too, sometimes she surprises me with her matter-of-fact, dry attitude to some things and in some cases it makes her a good advisor. I was once mentioning her a tricky situation I was having with a friend, and Sofi ruthlessly concluded it: “Tell her, if she has a problem, then she has a problem. It’s not your problem”. Which, in this particular case, was a healthy way of seeing it. Zofijka is also good with clothes and hairstyles and all so she often helps me with that too. Sometimes if I desperately want to watch a film because of something in it, or get a new music crush and want to know how they look like, I’ll rather ask Zofijka than anyone else to describe that person or thing to me. Zofijka is also a reasonably good cook for a 12-year-old, but she always threatens me that she’s poisoned my food. πŸ˜€ She can be really scary sometimes.

How is it with you and your siblings? πŸ™‚ If you have only one sibling, are you close with him/her?

Question of the day.

Do you have siblings?

My answer:

I do. My brother is 20, his name is Aleksander, nicknamed to Olek, he is a car mechanic, has started his own business earlier this year. He is very much into cars, but he would more happily be a driver, like the kind of a driver that my Dad is – a tanker driver, or a lorry driver, or a buss driver, you know, such who drives for longer distances, he’s been always fascinated by it. – He is also very interested in WWII, likes watching films and series to do with it or filmed around that time, he would also like to be in the army apparently but Mum is too scared and I don’t think she would let him. πŸ˜€ Funnily enough, both cars and WWII are also my Dad’s lifelong interests so you’d think they’d get on like a house on fire but it’s actually the opposite, my Dad’s very nasty to him ALL the time, since forever! Olek also loves football, although nowadays more in theory – plays FIFA and supports his favourite team, Lechia GdaΕ„sk, and goes to all their matches, no matter how much it takes and how far it is, he’s even been to Denmark earlier this month. – He has a lot of close friends that he hangs out with, they often party and drink just in their own company, and he runs his business with his best friend but he’s not really into talking or socialising and says he doesn’t like people. He is bright and intelligent, but not cerebral or anything like that, just thinks quickly, and knows how to make people laugh, I think literally everyone. He is a bit impulsive and still does some mischief once in a while. He dreams about having some big adventures and is quite a materialist, but is also very very traditional in his views on almost everything, and doesn’t need much to be contented.

My sister Zofia or Zofijka, or Zosia for more normal people who do typical nicknames, she usually goes by Zofijka at home and I call her Sofi and loads of other things and she’s Zosia at school, is 12, there is a relatively big age difference between us but we get along really well and always laugh at the silliest things and play together quite a lot, well OK I don’t know if a lot but I don’t know many other siblings with a similar age difference who would play as much as we do. Zofijka is going to go to 6th grade in September. She doesn’t like learning and is very carefree about school, she gets tired very easily of using her brain, has a constant need for company and is very social, extroverted and hyperactive, she is loud and has a very infectious laughter, some people find her intimidating or draining. She is also very sensitive and conscientious, though, and can often be incredibly brave and courageous, but very moody and irritable and not always very pleasant to be around because of this. She has a lot of friends who change approximately every week, she will love you on Monday and invite for sleepovers and on Friday she’ll call you idiot behind your back and will pretend she doesn’t even see you. She is sporty, she used to play volleyball and rollerskate, she still loves rollerskating but she can’t do that anymore or at least right now because of her joint issues, especially with knees. She only does swimming right now and would love to horse ride in future. She is also big on dancing and singing, though, in my humble opinion, doesn’t have too much talent for the latter to be honest. Zofijka is also quite artsy, she can draw and paint really well and make very detailed things from plasticine or similar things. She loves animals, especially dogs, and her current dream job is to be a vet and a dog hairdresser at once, and she wants to have a big spa for dogs, though since a few years she’s been regularly mentioning that she’d like to become a nun and is interested in various religious orders. She likes playing around with people’s hair as well. She loves adventures and constantly needs adrenaline and something big going on – like trips, sleepovers, parties, getting presents, you get it. – Her favourite TV series is “Soy Luna”, she likes crime series as well, is very interested in smart phones, recently she plays Fifa too, a lot, her favourite band is One Direction but she also listens to loads of currently popular Polish hip hop and Spanish language pop and dance music like Alvaro Soler or even stuff like Enrique Iglesias, she would like to live in Spain. She is hugely into fashion and was it up to her, her whole outfit would be from H&M (but my Mum hates H&M). And she loves, loves, LOOOVES eating! Like, seriously, at the beginning of one school year they apparently had some introductions stuff, that everyone had to say something about themselves, and Sofi was like: “So, I am Zosia and, hm, I like to eat…”. πŸ˜€ We usually play different make-belief stuff which rather than being interesting in itself is more comical or something, not your typical things definitely, to give you an example last week we played I was Sofi’s daughter, and Sofi was my very snobbish mum and we were going shopping together and making a drama involving all the people in the supermarket, and Zofijka is pretty good at pretending and has some pretty good dramatic skills when she tries. She is also a good observer, especially of people’s appearance and stuff like subtle mannerisms they have. She’s not the brightest and most intelligent kid in the world, which doesn’t mean she is stupid or something, though as I said she doesn’t like using her brain too much, but sometimes she can be really funny and even make my Mum laugh, and my Mum only laughs at intelligent humour.

I also have 3 siblings in heaven, one older and two younger than me.

You? πŸ™‚

Question of the day (23rd April).

Hi guys. πŸ™‚

I have some girly questions now for all my female readers out there. πŸ™‚

Do you wear makeup? If so, how often do you wear it, and what are your favourite brands? How old were you when you started wearing makeup, and who taught you?
My answer:
I don’t wear makeup. Like, almost never ever. First, although I consider myself a girly girl, I don’t have much of an interest at all in THIS particular kind of girly stuff, it’s boring for me and all sorts of even hairdressing and such is just an annoying necessity for me. Second, I can’t do it myself. Many blind women can and are great at it, but, well, I can’t even always draw a straight line, so, could be quite adventurous. Third, I don’t go out much anyway these days, and I don’t really see the point of all that hassle for staying at home. Fourth, I have a kinda problem with self care stuff, just as I do with self-esteem as it is obviously related, I’ve improved in recent years and months but, ugh, if I sometimes don’t even feel like feeding myself or keeping myself warm on worse days, I don’t even think about makeup then! πŸ˜€ Fifth, I have allergy for a lot of that makeup stuff so actually as an effect I look even worse than without it, or my skin gets irritated/itchy. And as you can probably already see, I’m not enough into that to hunt for hypoallergic stuff. Lastly, I don’t even have such a model in my family that makeup is something that a woman should necessarily do. My Mum used to wear it, she is a very image conscious person, but only when she had to, so for outings or such, she didn’t like it. My Mum has always preferred to be natural, and she says she feels like a wax doll with tons of makeup on her face. Now it has to be a real big occasion for her to wear a full makeup, as she’s such a lifestyle expert nowadays and OMG there’s so much chemicals in cosmetics and you never know what they put in there! πŸ˜€ While I always mock my Mum’s obsession with all that, I kinda share that approach, and I just don’t feel the need to do that. All the cosmetics I use, OK, the big majority, are just natural home-made things.
I did use to wear some more make-up in my late teens, when I was in a lot of ways identifying myself as a Goth, I still do feel a lot in common with Goths though I never was like a full Goth, at some point I just met some people online who were Goths and we seemed to get along very well, I always liked black and wearing black things, and I have naturally a very light skin and always liked it this way, I liked Gothic music and felt like I had a bit of a similar mentality to them in a lot of ways. I wasn’t going around looking like a Goth, but liked a bit of a Gothic looking makeup at times and would most willingly wear black clothes all the time. As I said I still somehow feel drawn to the Gothic subculture but am not as crazy about it and sort of outgrew it quite a few years ago. I guess the last time I wore a full makeup (a serious one, I mean for serious purposes) in a Gothic style was at my 18th birthday party. Now I only sometimes underline my eyebrows as they are very light, and that’s it. The actual last time I wore makeup was about a year, maybe longer, ago, when I was playing with Zofijka. We like pretending things or playing crazy roleplays or such and that time we were playing that we were two very stupid and brainless country girls going for a party to some sort of a club. we were able to only talk about guys, and our favourite music which was very trashy dance and everything that is cringy in the world, it was all very comical so when we weren’t playing, we were laughing our brains out at ourselves, but well you’d have to see it for it to be funny. We both had very overdone, heavy makeups, with crazy amounts of rouge, and I was wearing a ragingly red lipstick and we both had weird hairstyles and high-heel shoes (Zofijka was in her school traCKSUIT…) and were chewing gum very demonstratively for an even more cringy effect. We stuffed our clothes with things so we also looked very fat, and just… brainless overall, you get it. The problem appeared when Zofijka tried to get rid of all that makeup on my face and couldn’t get rid of all that rouge, it lasted for so long that I was afraid I will have to stay like this hahaha. So those are the only purposes for which I wear makeup nowadays, entertaining Zofijka hahaha. That’s more interesting though I guess.
OKso how about you? πŸ™‚

My 7 Favourite Things.

I’ve been tagged by lovely Nova

for My 7 Favourite Things tag, yaaay! 😊 Thank you very much. πŸ™‚ The tag was created by Beth,

thanks for providing us with this fun thing. πŸ™‚

Here are the rules:

 

  1. Link back and thank the person who tagged you.
  2. Link back and thank the blogger who started the tag.
  3. List and picture at least seven of your favorite things.
  4. Tag at least seven people.
  5. List the rules.

I guess most of my readers already know that I’m blind, so I felt a little hesitant about the picture part. I mean I could do it but I’d need a lot of help with it, someone would have to take them for me so I was inclined to just list my favourite things and don’t bother with the photos. But actually I know it would be much more fun for you if there were some pictures and my Mum was able to help me out, and I always wanted to someday make my blog at least a little bit more attractive by adding at least a few pictures, so why not now haha. I just hope I won’t screw up anything while editing them so please if something looks wrong or not quite as it should let me know. πŸ˜€

Ok here we go:

Β Β  1.

Misha.

My Russian blue cat Misha
Misha
My Russian blue cat Misha
Misha
My Russian blue cat Misha
Misha

2.

This little rascal here, this is my favourite toy to torment.

My sister Zofijka on the beach in her swimsuit.
My sister Zofijka

3.

My gem stones. Here are just a few of many.

Some of my gem stones
My gem stones

4.

My “Purr” T-shirt. I got one T-shirt from my sis for Christmas as you might recall and then another one last month. It’s red, which I don’t like, but other than that I love it so much that I can even tolerate the colour.

 

Me wearing a red T-shirt with a tactile writing of the word "Purr" on it.
Me in my purr T-shirt.

5.

My bed. As long as I have nice dreams.

Mine and Misha's bed
My bed

6.

Plextalk Linio Pocket. This is the thing with which I read books (with speech synthesis or audiobooks), listen to music, radio, podcasts, can record audiofiles etc.

Plextalk Linio Pocket - a device for the visually impaired
Plextalk Linio Pocket

7.

Braille-Sense Plus. My mate of 11 years that I owe a lot to but will be happy to replace with a new one as soon as possible, he’s getting a bit too senile. It has a Braille display so I can read books or anything else on it on my own, which I prefer to speech synthesis, write, use the Internet to some extend, use as a Braille display for the computer, etc.

Braille-Sense - Braille notetaker for the blind
Braille-Sense

I tag:

Paula,

Meg,

Ashley,

Astrid,

Ellen

Carol Anne

and Jay-Lyn

Of course there are no obligations here, so only do this if you feel like it, and if it’s more of a problem for you with pics than for me then I guess you can skip it and that will be OK too. πŸ™‚ Just have fun. πŸ™‚

OK, so that would be it, I hope you enjoyed and that I did it right hahaha.

Question of the day (23rd January).

What’s the silliest reason you’ve ever gotten into a fight with someone?

My answer:

I’m not someone who is quick to argue or fight usually. As most of us, I definitely don’t like conflicts, but also I think they are, most often, a waste of time and nerves for both sides. If you’re arguing, you usually can’t make your opponent think the same way as you, no matter how hard you try, right? You’ll rather enrage them more and become more cross and upset with them yourself. Of course there are exceptions, but they are just that, exceptions, or so I believe anyway. So I don’t like to fight. Unless I really think I could get something out of it and I need it, or just for fun, or something like that. The person with whom I usually argue or fight, if ever, is Zofijka. We can fight about anything, but even if we’re mad at each other, there is usually some element of humour involved and it’s not fully serious. But I really can’t remember the last thing we fought about, I most often don’t think much about it.

How about you? πŸ™‚

Ji Nilsson – “Sofi”.

Hi people. πŸ™‚

I shared a song by Ji Nilsson with you a couple days ago. I know her music just since a bit more than a month, and while she’s maybe not one of my most most favourite artists, I certainly do like her music. On Christmas Eve I was listening to her music, and I discovered this song. It was such a big surprise to me! Because, in some way, in a lot of ways, it’s as if this song was about my Sofi and me. My Sofi is of course called Zofijka, but I very often call her just Sofi (rather not Sofie, or Sophie, but just Sofi), and I think it is a rather rare spelling, so even this thing itself is strange, that there is a song for Sofi, not Sophie, nor Sofie, not Sofia, but Sofi. And it turns out Ji Nilsson wrote it for her sister. I think it’s such a weird and interesting coincidence. It’s really pretty much about us, only that her Sofi is her big sister.

Question of the day.

What was the last thing you texted (add context if you’d like)?

My answer:

The last thing I texted was last Saturday (now you get the idea how often I text with anyone πŸ˜€ ) and it was to Zofijka: “Sofi if you want to talk to Mum call me her phone is dead”. And that’s about it.

How about you? πŸ™‚

If We WeRE Having Coffee… #WeekendCoffeeShare

Time for another Weekend Coffee Share

hosted by Eclectic Alli.

If we were having coffee, assuming it would take place in my house, you’d hear children screaming, running and playing. Zofijka is having her birthday party for her friends and cousins. TOmorrow she’ll make a more serious one, with dinner and all, for her God parents and grandparents. It’s a pity those skunk slippers I got for her haven’t arrived yet, but hope it’ll happen soon and that she’ll like them. Today I’ve heard her confiding to one of her friends how much she likes skunks, and they now call her Sophie Skunk. πŸ˜€

If we were having coffee I’d tell you we have Mother’s Day today, so, happy Mother’s Day to all of you mummies. πŸ™‚ Never mind that for most of you your actual Mother’s Day has already passed this year, let’s celebrate once again. So if you consider yourself a mum – be it a mum for your own children, heart mum for someone, adoptive mum, mum to be, pet mum or any other kind of mummy, feel free to have some extra coffee and an extra muffin. Yes, we have muffins today because of Mother’s Day. They’re shop bought but still. Very yummy. And we have lots of other stuff – a very yummy, homemade chicken soup with dumplings, jelly with grapes and strawberries, Zofijka’s yucky Soy Luna birthday cake, well I haven’t tried it, it’s for the kids, but all those shop bought overly decorative birthday cakes for kids are always yucky and from what this one apparently looks like, I wouldn’t expect it to be different. But we also have some nice sponge cake with strawberries and other stuff that my Mum has made and it’s brilliant. And a lot of fruit and other things. So well, help yourself, particularly all the mummies here.

If we were having coffee I’d tell you I bought my Mum a new speaker which she can connect to her phone and play her own music in the kitchen. She always wanted to be able to listen to something else than just the radio, like her Spotify or something, so hope she’ll be happy, but it haven’t arrived yet either.

If we were having coffee I’d ask all of you how you’re doing…

If we were having coffee I’d tell you I’m not doing the best moodwise today. Don’t really know what happened, I just woke up and felt like again I’m slipping into that awful hole from where I’ve barely got out recently. I know I had some yucky dreams tonight and maybe that’s what pushed me down, and then some thing happened later on today that made my slip ride even quicker. I’m not down there yet and managed to stop the slide somewhere at the beginning of the last lap though so that’s good at least now I’m wondering which way I’ll go from here, up or down into the hole again. Of course I hope for the first, the more that I’ve been feeling really good over the last week, but guess nothing lasts forever, meh that’shit you have to feel blah for most of the time, but that seems to be the main rule for my flippin’ brain. Anyways…

If we were having coffee I’d tell you Misha’s with me all the time today. The kids are playing on the balcony and Misha can’t go there because then he jumps on the roof and Misha is generally crazy in the fresh air, poor child, and there would be no one to keep an eye on him there in all the comotion we have here today, so Mum told me to close him in my room and so I did. Thought he won’t be glad of it, but he just went to bed and still is sleeping very heavily. Guess he didn’t sleep the best at night, I don’t know where he was then, not with me anyway and not in any of the hideouts that I know of. He’s so so sweet when he’s sleeping.

If we were having coffee I’d tell you that yesterday there have been new books added to our Polish digital library for the blind and there was one I literally couldn’t wait for, the new book by MaΕ‚gorzata Musierowicz. MaΕ‚gorzata Musierowicz is one of my most favourite writers, I absolutely love her series “JeΕΌycjada”, and my Mum told me a few months ago that she’d seen her new book in the bookshop. I knew it will be in our library because all the books by Musierowicz are and they are scanned and added pretty quickly, but it seemed so long for me and I just couldn’t wait. My Mum suggested that maybe we could read it together which I’d be very happy about, but finally it didn’t happen. Plus my Mum isn’t a good reader, whenever she starts reading a book, her eyes become heavy and she feels sleepy, so reads a single book for quite a long time so I felt that the book will be available for me maybe even before we’d get to half of it. And yesterday it came! And I’m reading it right now. Maybe Musierowicz is the one whom I should be thankful too that I haven’t yet slipped down into my gloomy hole. Her books are always so full of warmth, happiness and yes, positivity, but not the kind of positivity you usually think of while hearing this word, a foolish optimism, kinda artificial one and for all means, just to not be negative. It’s very natural so that when you read her books you just have to smile or even laugh at times. And you get a lot of stuff to ponder on, during and after the reading so your brain has something more productive to do than overthinking, overanalysing, rethinking, freaking out, overloading itself etc. And you get hungry immediately, they eat so so so many yummy things. They are so many that she’s even written a whole book with recipes of the dishes her characters eat. I only wish her books were longer. They read so quickly. You want to read more and more and more and suddenly it’s over. There aren’t many other writers that I love as much as Musierowicz. and I know her in person and I’ve even been to her and I was in her house and it was sooo cool.

So how are you doing guys? What happened to you this week? πŸ™‚ What would you tell me if we were having coffee? πŸ™‚

 

Sleeping and feeling more decently. :)

Yes, my sleep is now not very far from proper and I am happy about that. That Zombie day on Tuesday was so awful and exhausting. Thanks sooo very much to all those of you who supported me that day. I was so overwhelmingly depressed that actually at the end of the day I almost ended up self harming again, somehow resisted the urge, but then was even more frustrated and sick of myself, I self harmed just a bit more than a month ago and I had much longer periods without self harming in the past. The fact I didn’t finally do it didn’t really matter for me, I felt absolutely awful for feeling such a bad urge. Finally I went to bed at such a cosmic hour as for my sleep cycle as 7 PM, earlier than Zofijka. πŸ˜€ I usually go to sleep the last, only sometimes Misha is up for longer. and slept for… 12 hours! It was a very refreshing and heavy sleep, I actually don’t remember any awakenings. My mood lifted up a bit too so I felt functional enough to write my geography control assignment. It was so boring. Not like I expected it to be very very interesting, I’ve been always finding school extremely boring overall, but anyway it was boring. I had to write about different forms of nature protection in Wejherowo County where I live, like Tricity Landscape Park for example. I think I did it well. Last night I had another night of good sleep and have a feeling tonight will be so too. I don’t expect it to last long but as long as it lasts, I’m very happy about that. Emotionally/moodwise today I feel tolerably. Definitely not good, but functional. Recently I don’t feel very functional, so I’m glad about it. I gave my Mum my assignment to print out. My geography teacher is an elderly guy and rather extremely not up to date with new technologies, which makes it a bit hard for me and my Mum. Normally I could just send him this assignment in email, but as far as I know he doesn’t have any email so my Mum needs to take the time to go to the printing house and then deliver it to him. But well education system sucks in general, not that there aren’t any exceptions of course. Tonight Zofijka is sleeping with me. While my anxiety is definitely more manageable since last week, Zofijka who is a rather worrisome kid, is recently a bit anxious. They watched some scary stuff in class, well scary in her opinion. She seems to be always overly scared of things like demons, ghosts, vampires or paranormal phenomena. While her friends find it very intriguing, in my opinion probably also overly. So she wanted to sleep with me. She wants to sleep with me every night, but this time I agreed as I know how fantastic it feels to be scared in the middle of the night and alone, especially if you’re just a 10-year-old child, although I’m not very enthusiastic about sleeping with other people. I’ve just watched an episode of Happy Valley with Mum and then some film about the Tudors on Epic Drama. We love British films as you can see. And we had ginger tea and some chilli crackers. It lifted up my mood, I hope it will stay so until tomorrow. I think I’ll be going to sleep soon, it’s 10 PM so rather early but I somehow feel sleepy and I don’t really have much to do right now other than sleep, especially that I must be rather silent as Zofijka is sleeping.

Wishing you all good night and sweet dreams, or a nice day, whatever time is now where you live. πŸ™‚

Fffrrreeezzzing!

Yeah it’s really freezing here today. Snowing almost all the time since yesterday and very icy. My gramma whom we invited today for some time to stay with us almost collapsed on the steps when she was coming in, so slippery it is.

So as you know I had an almost sleepless night. Yeah luckily I managed to fall asleep about an hour after I wrote that post in the morning and had a few hours of sleep. It wasn’t very refreshing, but it was definitely something. Otherwise I would probably become very groggy after some time. We all went to the church in the morning. We went there on foot, it is about 7 minutes walk from us till there, so not that very far, but my leg was burning a lot after I got home. It’s shitty, I thought it healed at least a bit. and then my uncle dropped gramma (my Dad’s mum) to us. I was writing a lot with my pen pals. Also I played with Zofijka for a while. At 4 we went to church again, but now by car. Now as it is Lent, there is a special devotion on each Sunday of Lent related to that in Poland, apparently it doesn’t exist in any other Catholic countries, I think its English title would be something like Bitter Lamentations and it is about Christ’s passion and it is sung. We dropped gramma to her house afterwards and did some shopping. Zofijka felt very sleepy early on and she went to bed about 7 PM so very not like her. She wanted me and Misha to be with here so we were as she was falling asleep, she often wants us to be with her before she falls asleep. I told her a story. I don’t usually do that, only sometimes, but she really likes it. Zofijka’s stories are very special. They are about a fictional creature called Jim, which looks like a human, actually like a 10-year-old boy, but he is a Jimosaurus – the last Jimosaurus in the world and is 10000 years old, despite looking so very young and being so child-like. Jim lives in Australia (Zofijka had a slight obsession about Australia when I was making it all up so hence the location) in a little hut in the forest. He’s the king of that forest and all of the animals there can talk obviously. Jim’s best friend is – Plim – a pretty clumsy, forgetful, awkward and sluggish but very kind-hearted and sensitive koala who rules the forest on Jim’s behalf when Jim’s not there and a bit scating, but incredibly loyal bee called Sophie who is very good at cooking and making different curing mixtures and taking care of animals and people. Jim can eat normal people food and he likes it, but it isn’t nutritious for him. Really nutritious food for him is helping people. When he feels hungry, which happens very often, he takes out his binoculars and leather wings and climbs up on the roof of his hut. Then he looks at the whole world and searches for people or any other beings who may need help. If he finds someone to helps, he takes quickly what he needs, sometimes takes Sophie with him if any medical intervention is needed, puts on his wings and flies there. So as you see poor Plim has to be in charge most of the time actually. So Zofijka’s stories are always about different people or animals or plants or even sometimes things that Jim helps. She always says she loves Jim. But she always falls asleep so quickly that I highly doubt he can hear the whole story.