Share Your World (social activities).

   This week, I thought I’d take part in Share Your World. Thanks so much to Di for hosting. These are her questions: 

 Did you attend Sunday School at your local church as a child? 

   No. I’m Catholic, and Sunday school isn’t  a Catholic thing. Well, at least here it’s definitely not and I’ve never heard of Catholics going to a Sunday school anywhere else either. I did have religion classes two times a week, as part of regular school though, and on Sundays it was Mass. Still is, actually haha. 

 Did you attend after school classes ie. drama, sports, as a teenager? 

   I attended LOADS of things at different points in time, I once wrote a separate post about that actually. Most of it wasn’t because I really wanted to do it, but I was at a boarding school for the blind where pretty much everyone had some after-school activity, be it interest- or talent-based, or therapeutic like mobility training or vision therapy. So I had stuff like piano, swimming, extra English etc. and when I was in an inclusive school closer to home for a while I was in a drama club together with my brother, though neither of us was enthused about that either as far as I recall. Later when I went on to mainstream school I had Swedish and horse riding as my after school activities, which for once were things that I actually hugely enjoyed, but these weren’t organised by school so not sure if that counts at all. 

 Did you go to evening classes after you had left school? 

   Kind of yes, but not for long and it’s a bit complicated. My whole school journey was quite complicated for multiple reasons, including that I had two years’ delay in education compared with my peers, so by the time I went to high school, I was already eighteen when the typical age would be sixteen here. By then I had left the blind school and was in mainstream education already, and since I had no ambitious or well-defined academical plans, but a whole lot of different fears and a strong antipathy for the education system instead, I decided to take advantage of my age and go to a high school for adults, to make life less stressful for myself. Initially I went to weekend classes, but then I switched to evening ones, I guess we had them three times a week, because the level was a bit higher there and you didn’t have to sit such ridiculously long hours at school. That still didn’t last long, because eventually my Mum and I figured that to make it easier for both my teachers (some of whom seemed genuinely scared of catching blindness from me 😀 ) and myself (who didn’t really feel like I was learning a lot as a lot of what we did was either based on slideshows or textbooks that I didn’t have) I would instead homeschool myself (except for math for which I had a tutor) and send them assignments and come only for half-term exams, which all the teachers were relieved about so that’s what I ended up doing and it was great. But yeah, I did attend evening classes for a couple months. 

   Do you now belong to any groups/meetings (ie WI, single (not dating), young Mums, slimming clubs, young wives, Men’s hobbies ) 

   Nope, I’m quite a proud semi-hermit lol. I’m happy to talk to like-minded people but not a big fan of groups usually. 

Sharing my world after a LONG time.

   Oh boy! How long has it even been since I last participated in Share Your World? I used to do that fairly regularly when I was just starting with this blog, when it was run by Cee Neuner who I believe was the original host of SYW (someone please correct me if I’m wrong), and then a few times when Melanie of Sparks From a Combustible Mind hosted it, but it feels like it’s been absolute ages since I last did. 

   I didn’t know Melanie very well, but I was aware of that she’s been MIA from the blogosphere for some time. But it was only yesterday that I found out that she has sadly passed away. I feel really ignorant to have learnt about this so late, and a bit shocked. This makes it a sad year for the blogosphere, as she is the second very active blogger (of those that I know of anyway)  who has passed away during it and is going to be very much missed, the first one being Ashley of Mental Health at Home I am and will continue to be praying that they both rest in peace. 

   Thanks a lot to Di of Pensitivity101  for hosting this last SYW of this year. Here are Di’s questions and my answers to them: 

   1.   If you have been given a variety of gifts, do you have a clear out of older stuff to make room for it? 

   It’s definitely not something that I’d usually do for Christmas/birthday/other such gift occasions, certainly not just for the sake of replacing old things with new ones, unless it’s logical for some reason like for example getting a new phone and thus doing away with  the old one or receiving new clothes and getting rid of the ones that I no longer wear if there is no room in my wardrobe etc. 

2.  Do you overindulge with food for special occasions and then come to regret it with either weight gain, guilt or severe indigestion? 

   Not very often. Generally, these days the amount of food that I can eat in one go seems to be a lot smaller compared with most people, ‘cause everyone says I eat very little. But as I always say, at least that makes me low-maintenance. 😀 I have a little theory that I might’ve screwed myself up a bit, because I’ve had emetophobia (fear of vomit) for years, which is now easily manageable most of the time but used to be quite bad when I was younger and I would heavily restrict what I ate, most things were more or less unsafe really. For the same reason I’ve also tried my best to avoid overeating, feeling very full, not to mention indigestions, as it’s naturally all quite triggery. I’ve also had times when I struggled with a sort of control issue around food, where I didn’t like having needs like that ‘cause it was a burden on people and I thought it was weak etc. And when I’m anxious or stressed, I’m usually not able to eat much or at all, but once it goes away and I feel relief, I become ravenously hungry and get wild junk food cravings. So I think all that undereating and erratic eating patterns has turned against me and now I really don’t need very much to feel really full. Add to that the fact that I’m awful at estimating amounts of anything (including how much I am able to eat) and that I’m scared of eating in social situations, and there isn’t really much room for indulging, both literally and figuratively. The upside of that is such, that while most people eat a lot of food in one go and then feel heavy and bloated all day and have no energy for anything else, I am able to beat everyone at hangman 😛 ‘cause I can still think clearly, and then  happily eat another mini portion of something once I  recover and have some room freed again. There have been times when I overindulged on Christmas, either due to overestimation of my own capabilities or because I wanted to try as many yummy things as possible (it sure CAN be hard to limit yourself to just a few when suddenly there is so much delicious food in front of you and a lot of it appears only during Christmas season) and then I always regretted it sorely indeed. Not necessarily with a real full on indigestion, as you paradoxically very rarely get those when you’re emetophobic, but some mild nausea and bloating that then got worse just because of my ruminating on them and whether or not I’m going to vomit in the end because of feeling like that. 

3.  What is your favourite part for any celebration? 

   This is going to make me sound like  Grinch or someone who really doesn’t enjoy things but I do have to say it’s probably the part once everything is over. Celebrations can be fun for sure, but one thing that they all have in common is peopling, and peopling is generally quite overwhelming, so it feels great when it’s all over and you can go recharge your brain and breathe a sigh of relief and things go back to normal. 

4.   Are you looking forward to getting bargains in the January Sales?

Honestly I couldn’t care less. 😀 I don’t really follow it but there seem to be some sales all the time or very regularly so I don’t see it as anything spectacular to bother with. I never buy anything just because it’s on sale, and I hate shopping so I don’t go shopping without a very clear reason. 

   Gratitude: 

   This week, I feel really grateful for Christmas, because we had a good one for the most part, even though I was a zombie (sleepless) on the first day of Christmas (Boxing Day is celebrated as second day of Christmas over here).  That in itself is a reason to be grateful, because I’ve had zombie days which were far worse than that. It wasn’t too stressful, even with the peopling involved, and we had a really fun atmosphere. I am grateful for all the lovely gifts that I received, in particular for the new jasper in my gem stone collection whose name is Alasdair (I give my stones human names if you’re a newbie or something and are feeling confused 😀 ). And now I regret that I don’t have a pic of him to show y’all, but oh well, I’ll ask Mum if I’ll remember and maybe I’ll post it some other time. Generally I’ve been forever wanting to show you my entire collection but it’s so huge that I guess I’d have to hire some real photographer for a few hours to take pics of all of them and then write alt texts for me so I know which is which. 😀 Who would want to do all that for free! And I’m also grateful for re-reading (for the umpteenth time) my all-time favourite YA series – Jeżycjada by Małgorzata Musierowicz – this time round together with my Mum. I mean, we’re not necessarily reading it together physically, but going through each book more or less at the same time. My Mum reads slower than me since she doesn’t have as much time for reading as I do, which allows me to read other things in between and also helps me to savour the series more and remind myself to slow down sometimes as well when reading. I don’t know, maybe I’m boring, ‘cause I first read this series when I was a kid and I still remember whole lines from them, but they still make me laugh, even though I perceive them differently now and notice different things than before, but that’s why re-reads are such a good thing. 

Share Your World.

I am happy to participate in Melanie’s at

Sparks From A combustible Mind

Share Your World this week! Here are Melanie’s questions and my answers:

 

What happens if you-stare at the mirror for too long in the dark?   (credit to Ursula of An Upturned Soul.  If you haven’t read Ursula’s blog, go over and just wade in and enjoy.   To me she’s fascinating and what she writes about is always worth the journey).

Mmm nothing really, haha. I’ve never seen anything particularly interesting happening when I stare at the mirror, and it’s always in the dark as I am blind. 😀 Perhaps I should do that more often, or for longer, and maybe something fascinating will happen. Maybe I’ll end up being the next Alice in the looking glass house.;)

Do you think you’re judgmental?  What tends to bring it out in you?  (Credit to Ashleyleia for this one)

In short, as I wrote in the comment on Ashley’s post, yes, I think I am judgmental. But I also think we all are and we need it, to some extend. What matters is if you’ll let your judgments influence your actions.As for what brings it out in me, I consider myself a good judge of character, but I sometimes end up relying on my instincts too much, and let my judgments shape the picture of a person too early. I’ve noticed that pattern some time ago and now I am able to see it and stop doing it, or not it influence my relation to the person.

Do you work better with actual lists or with mental lists?  (Credit to Sadje of Keep it Alive)

I actually hardly ever make actual to-do lists, only when I have really loads of stuff to do and all is very important and stressful or something. But I think I should make a habit of using them more, because I am quite disorganised and can suck at doing things in order or determining what’s most important at the moment. But so far usually I mostly do mental lists.

Would you go streaking across a football field during a game for a million dollars (insert your own country’s currency), knowing there’s a 50/50 chance you’ll get arrested for indecent exposure? (this one is mine.  Yeah, my mind wanders to some highly strange places sometimes).

No way! First off, it always amazes me a bit how often people happily and proudly declare that they would do something they normally find very unpleasant, disgracing or immoral if they would be paid a lot. In my opinion that doesn’t speak good about them. Even recently I had a conversation with Olek, I don’t know how it evolved this way but we were talking something about bananas, we had bananas in the house and no one was eating them, and they were getting rotten apparently. I said that I hate bananas anyway, let alone rotten. And he was like: “But if someone would offer you to make you a billionaire if you eat a basket of half rotten bananas, wouldn’t you do that?” – and he asked it as if the answer was obvious and the same for everyone. Hell no, what’s the point? How will I know they will really give me the money in the end? And I guess the only use that I will have of that fortune would be for my family as a legacy, I’m not sure one would survive eating a basket of half rotten bananas, no idea how it can affect a person, don’t have the experience. So, same here. What’s the point in me having a million if I’d be disgraced and people would know me as “the one who went streaking across the football field”. I wouldn’t have any pleasure out of it, and I’m pretty sure they’d catch me, my brain would constantly have a go at my extreme silliness, and my conscience would kill me. :DLast, but not least, I’m too self-conscious.

Lastly:

Gratitude/Thankful/Enriching

What has happened in your life that made you feel uplifted and happy, if only temporarily?

Misha, Misha always makes me uplifted and happy, even just a little bit.

Share Your World.

I know I’m quite late to the game, but I am still going to participate in Melanie’s

Share Your World

this week. 🙂 Here are the questions and my answers.

 

What do fish do all day?   What thoughts do you think they have?  (Credit to the awesome Teresa and her Fibbin’ Fridays for this one)

Play hide and seek, try to survive and not let other fish/water creatures/fishers catch them, tell each other stories and fairytales about life on the land.I don’t know what they think about but their minds must be really busy since they can’t speak. If they are sea fish, maybe they enjoy people watching during the summer when people come to the seaside?

What celebrity would you have as a SPOUSE, if you HAD to choose?

Oh that’s a tough one as I’m rather ignorant about celebrities, I mean there is hardly anyone that I would know well enough to be able to consider as a spouse. I have my music crushes, but aside from Enya and Cornelis Vreeswijk they aren’t really celebrities and even Vreeswijk is a celeb only in Sweden, and Enya probably wouldn’t be too glad being called a celebrity, she’s just famous. Besides, Enya can’t be my spouse because I am straight, and even if I wasn’t, I’ve always regarded her kind of more like my secret second mummy, someone I’ve always admired, especially as a teen, not in a way you admire someone you love in a romantic way. Cornelis has been long dead before I was born, and, as much as I admire his artistic skills, great mind and all and feel a lot of connection to him in a crush-y way, I really don’t think a romantic relationship between us would be a good idea, it would be a grotesque! We have too much and too little in common at the same time, if you can understand what I mean. 😀 and I wouldn’t feel comfortable in a relationship with someone who has so different beliefs and views and had already had three spectacularly failed marriages and dozens of other romantic relationships that didn’t work out, even if we have a lot in common intellectually/emotionally and on some other levels. Also he was terribly paranoid, is that called Othello’s syndrome? And was addicted to… well, almost everything. And goodness he could be my grandad unless I could time travel, I am not a gerontophile. But then again, I doubt many celebs would be on the same page with me in terms of views and beliefs, and I find it essential in a long term romantic relationship. My two other crushes – Declan Galbraith and Gwilym Bowen Rhys – would be more doable as my potential spouses, though I don’t feel like I have as much in common with Declan as I used to, or as I used to feel, so I guess Gwilym would be the best fit (ethe more  that I would love to live in north Wales and we have quite a few common interests, but we are very different in terms of personalities though that’s actually cool here), but then as I said he’s not really a celebrity, not how people usually imagine celebrities, unless we could call him a local celebrity. 😀 Other than that, I guess it would require much more thinking and research for me to come up with an answer. 😀 Oh I kinda like Alexander Rybak (the guy who won the Eurovision in 2009), and he seems very cool and pleasant, but I’m not crazy about him enough to be his spouse, and Zofijka would kill me, because she likes him much more than me, so much so that she would probably accuse me of stealing. So no, no idea. 😀

What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever broken?

Don’t ever leave your expensive things with me, especially tech stuff. 😀 My most spectacular achievement was spilling kefir al over my Braille-Sense (yes, the current one, and yes, it’s still alive somehow) about five years ago I suppose, I was in a state of euphoria (yeah ultrarare for me, but I had a sound reason), and as far as I can remember didn’t exactly know what I was doing, but I somehow had to move my arm very suddenly and quickly and there was a glass of kefir standing quite close to the Braille-Sense so before I could react in any way it was all soaked. All euphoria gone in a second. It was scary! Not only because it’s just awful when you break something expensive but I had to go to the boarding school the next day, and it meant that I’d be going without most of my music and books and it was going to be a very difficult time for me because of that, and not only because of that.I was determined and desperate and took it to school with me anyway as I couldn’t face it otherwise, I tried drying it with a hairdryer to make it work at least a bit and I did manage, but still the Braille display was screwed up and something inside of it under the keys was all soaked up in kefir so when I was using the keys they were actually doing whatever they wanted, not at all what I wanted them to do, and working on it was terribly slow. Also, I didn’t take one very important thing into account when taking it with me to school, it soon became very characteristically smelly and the smell was extending itself further so I freaked out that our whole room is soon going to smell with kefir and I had to do something about it, so I sent it to get it fixed. I remember feeling very concerned what they will think of me there seeing that it’s all soaked up in kefir. 😀 It’s funny now, but I was stressed out like hell. Mind you that Braille-Sense is a specialised device so the servicing was also that bit pricier than your average laptop or phone. I have quite a history of breaking tech stuff in this or that way, however I haven’t spilled kefir over anything else thankfully, I’m extra sensitive about such stuff now. 😀

When was the last time you slept more than 9 hours in a stretch?  Why?

On Wednesday, the night from Tuesday to Wednesday that is. It is not a rare occurrence for me. I am blind, without light perception so my circadian rhythm is not particularly steady and gets dysregulated very easily, but also I seem to have very varying need for sleep, and I don’t really know if that’s as normal for the blind. It’s like sometimes I can sleep 2 hours and wake up feeling rested and energised, or I can sleep for 4 hours and feel as if I had no sleep at all and am a zombie for the whole day, or I need 12 hours of sleep suddenly for no apparent reason. Sometimes when I don’t sleep at all at night I feel crappy afterwards, very anxious or zoning out all the time or can’t wait until the evening, even if it’s just 7 PM, because I want to sleep, or sometimes  don’t even feel any difference with how I feel after a sleepless night vs 9 hours of sleep and am perfectly OK and wouldn’t even mind staying up late sometimes. It seems to go for me in cycles though I haven’t yet figured out how exactly it works and what – other than messing up with sleep routine or something external that changes my sleep patterns in an obvious way – causes the change. Anyway, that night I am talking about I slept for 11 hours, from 11 PM to 11 AM, and I suppose it was the anti-anxiety medication that I took in the evening that knocked me out, perhaps together with feeling a bit tired after a lot of social interaction – a lot for my standards. – I actually wrote about that night very recently because of the series of Scotland-themed dreams I had then, that I absolutely loved. I normally hate sleeping late or very long for no apparent reason but I loved the dreams. Oh and my record so far is 19 hours, and I wouldn’t like to beat it, it was quite an odd and a little bit creepy thing, actually more so for my family than fr me. 😀

Share something you were really grateful for this year (so far):

Misha, Misha and Misha first of all. I sometimes really wonder how I coped before I had him. He makes loads of difference for me in different aspects of my life. My family and all my online friends definitely. Also that I am finally on disability allowance, that always helps and I feel more secure financially.

Share Your World.

It’s been centuries since I last participated in

Share Your World

at Melanie’s. I guess the last time was around… Christmas? That’s what I can remember, which is a shame because I used to participate in SYW pretty regularly and it’s fun. The questions this week are really cool so here goes, and if you’d like to participate too head over to her blog. 🙂

 

1. Was the last thing you read digital or print? – Digital, pretty much anything I read is digital, because I am blind, and Braille books are quite pricey, clunky, and limited in terms of availability of what you can choose from.
2. Are you more an extrovert or introvert? – Introvert all the way! Introverts rule! Yay for introverts! 😊 But actually, I read some of the fellow participants’ posts already earlier this week and quite a couple people stated that they are more extroverted on the Internet, and so am I, though it also depends on the circumstances and where on the Internet, the Internet itself doesn’t make me extroverted haha.
3. How is your life different from what you imagined as a younger person? – Hard to say, because as a child and teen I didn’t have a stable view of what I’d like to be or could be. As a very little child I wanted to be a singer, musician and dancer, and I didn’t want to have children “Because when women don’t want to have children they don’t have to have them, and when they want, they can” (that’s what I said in a film about my nursery where they asked me whom I’d like to be and my family laugh at it on every possible occasion). Indeed, I never really wanted to have children, and still don’t want, even if I wanted it seems pretty unlikely for multiple reasons. But as I grew older I never wanted to do anything with music professionally. I wanted to be a psychologist, writer, sound engineer, translator, quack (like my grandad sort of :D) and lots of other things. But when I was a very little girl, five-year-old or a little bit older, I once had a weird kind of dream…? I don’t know if it was a dream, an imagining, just a thought, or whatever, but I was lying in bed so I think it could be a dream, it was just one small scene but very clear to me. I saw myself in it as an adult, standing in the middle of a huge kitchen, as if I was about to prepare a meal or something, and there were kids all around me, a lot of children, mostly toddlers, all clinging to me. But what I remember the best from that little scene was some weird sense of despair, or helplessness that I felt. I felt lost and confused and like I don’t know what to do in this adult world. What am I supposed to do with these children? What am I expected to do? And it was so clear and powerful that since then, whenever I heard the word “adult”, I had that weird vision coming up, and in a way I still do. I don’t have a huge kitchen, or children, I don’t even make meals for myself, and my life right now feels pretty stable, yet sometimes I do feel like that adult me from my dream, which probably reveals my immaturity or something, but I don’t claim I am a mature person, I don’t claim that I’m immature either, I guess I just don’t know. 😀 Anyway, other than that weird dream thing, I don’t think my life resembles what I thought it could be like when I was a child.
4. Do you think about dying?   Does death scare you?  Why or why not? – As a person with mental illness, I’ve experienced suicidal thoughts so yes, I do think about dying, sometimes more often, sometimes less. I’m happy to say that nowadays, I rarely have active suicidal thoughts and ideations, but I do have passive ones a lot of the time. Also I am a Christian, so when you’re a religious/spiritual person I believe you have to think about that sometimes. My own death doesn’t scare me, although I’m a little bit anxious of what it will be like afterwards, what world we’ll end up in, if any. I’m also not scared of death as a concept, like my sis Zofijka is for example. SHe’s scared of dead people, murders and such. Of course it’s difficult and can make anyone uneasy, but I normally don’t feel scared by that without any context. What I’m really really scared of about death is those whom I love dying. Particularly my Mum and Misha. Some say my attachment to Misha is unhealthy because of that, and because of how attached I am to him even though he is a pet, but I really don’t know how I could cope with Misha’s death. If I had to, I probably would, life is like that, but I’ve never been attached to anyone in such a way as I am to Misha.

Additional Gratitude Bonus Question:  Who has been the kindest to you in your life? – The kindest? Like throughout my whole life? My Mum I think. Dunno where I’d be without her, but I’ve written about that many times before.

Share Your Merry World.

I haven’t participated in Share Your World for a quite long while, so time to change it! It’s hosted by Melanie at Sparks From A Combustible Mind,  so if you’d like to join in the fun, come over to her blog. 🙂 Here are Melanie’s questions and my answers to them.

 

What’s the worst topping you could put on popcorn?   (credit to Teresa for this one)

Semolina, mashed potatoes with gravy, or anything pulpy and mashy like that, in my opinion. 😀

In what country did Silent Night originate?

Ha! I always read some of other participants’ answers before I write mine, so, even if I wouldn’t know the answer before, I know it now. But as I said I already knew before that the answer is Austria, and i find the story behind this Christmas carol really intriguing, and I like that you can sing it in so many languages. When I’ll learn all of mine, I’d like to be able to sing it in all of them (assuming there is a Sami or Manx version of “Silent Night”, I’m not sure and somehow doubt it), I already know the English, Swedish and, more or less, Welsh version, and obviously Polish too.

(WARNING! The following question is NOT meant to start a fuss.  It’s merely a good discussion question in my opinion.  Most everyone knows where I stand on this. If you feel like arguing about it, please give it a pass.) We’re all adults and sensible ones at that.  We can be mature about such things, right?

How would you react if there was irrefutable proof that God doesn’t exist?       I think first I would be very sceptical. Because there is loads of research on both sides, and both sides are equally obstinate that they are right, so I’d probably just think, as a practicing Christian, that this is another theory made up by another atheist who, although declares being atheist, seems to be strongly interested in religion. You know, it’s always hard for anyone when their beliefs, like pretty much basic beliefs I think, are proven to be not true. I’ve never been in such situation before but I think it has to be a very hard experience. So, after i’d go through the phase of denial, I’d probably feel very disappointed, probably left alone, like my life is meaningless. I don’t think I would change my behaviour much, other than I would stop practicing my religion, but it could be very depressing. Or maybe I’m wrong? Maybe it would be like after a loss of a loved one? I’d go through denial, then grief, and then would just carry on, but just feeling some sort of a gap in my life, as you always do after a loss, that is usually gradually lessening with time? Hard to say. I feel though it could be hard. As someone who struggles with depression, or dysthymia more exactly, if it makes any difference in the grand scheme of things, I often feel my life is pointless and meaningless already, so I suspect it would be only worse after something like this.

How about if there was irrefutable proof that God does exist?

I think it would make me happy, like comforted. Everyone who believes in any God has their doubts once in a while, and then we wouldn’t have them suddenly, wouldn’t it be brilliant? I think it could help me make a stronger connection with God, and just strengthen my faith. What I wonder about though, is would the picture of God I have in my mind cover with what God is really like? Would be it Christian God, or Muslim, or Jewish, or Buddha, or maybe Zeus or Jupiter or Odin or Perun or Lugh or goddess Ilmatar? Maybe there would be many gods, or goddesses, or other deities? Or everyone would have their own God, like it already is in a way, ’cause even within one religion, we all actually have a different picture of God, so maybe it would be like this? Or maybe there would be one God, but as some people say, different religions and ethnicities just call and understand Him differently, but it actually doesn’t matter because there is one God for everyone? That’s interesting, I think.

And last question:

What is the scariest non banned item you could take on to a plane?

Hmm, it’s hard for me to think of anything, even just because I haven’t been on a plane before. My brain is quite scary, but I don’t think others would appreciate and realise it hahaha. So it would probably be my sis Zofijka, she can be really scary if she wants. 😀

Traditions

Which version of the holiday celebration do you and your family enjoy?  By this I mean do you follow Jewish traditions with Hanukkah; Christian celebrations with Christmas and (for those over the pond) Boxing Day; or some other festivities that I’ve overlooked?   Please do share with everyone!  I truly feel that this sort of question lets us know a little more about our fellow bloggers without getting too personal (i.e. revealing too much of private lives, which some folks prefer to keep private.)

We are Christians so we celebrate Christmas in a Christian, Catholic way, and we are Polish so our traditions are Polish/European. We have a festive dinner on christmas Eve, and this is actually the most important point of the celebrations for us. Well maybe not most important but most festive. We always start it with a short prayer, then one of us reads a fragment of the Gospel about Jesus’ birth, and then we share Christmas wafer with each other. Each of us has a piece of Christmas wafer and everyone breaks of a piece from each other’s Christmas wafer and eats it and we wish each other merry Christmas and generally all the best, it’s the best when the wishes are personalised, like, you know, you show the person that you really care about them and that whatever happened during the year, your relationship is still good and there are no old conflicts between you.

Then we have the meal, which for most people contains a lot of fish but for us it’s moderate since neither me nor my siblings like fish very much, but there are pierogi with cabbage and mushrooms, borsch – borsch is normally a soup, but during Christmas Eve dinner most people make it pure so that you can drink it, or with a special type of noodles, that resemble ears in their shape. – There are also lots of salads, and some cakes. The dishes vary between the regions though. The Christmas Eve dinner is usually meatless, and it is said that traditionally you should have twelve dishes and you should taste each of them, but since there is only five of us plus Misha who is picky and will only eat a bit of fish we don’t have so much food, we usually still have some leftovers until New Year’s Eve anyway haha. There is also another tradition, setting an additional tableware “for the guest” so for anyone who might come to the house, be them a homeless person, or a traveller, or someone in need, or from the family, or a friend, whoever, and they should be invited to the dinner. Another tradition is to put some hay under the tablecloth, and we do it too.

After the meal we usually go to my Mum’s family and again share the Christmas wafer with them, exchange gifts, have some cake or other sweet things and sing carols and generally spend time together, often playing scrabble.

And at midnight we usually go to Midnight Mass.

Our fairly new family tradition is that it’s only after the Midnight Mass that we come home and unwrap the presents under our own Christmas tree. And I think it’s cool, although Zofijka can barely wait until then, because of course as every child she loves presents so much.

Christmas day, and the second Christmas day are less festive, and more leisurely, there is a lot of food, not meatless – we also have things like turkey, or salads with meat, or my Dad’s smoked meat, or paszteciki, which are sort of breadrolls with meat stuffing in them. And we either just chill out, or have some outings, or visit family. So, there you have it, Polish Christmas traditions.

Share Your World.

Hey people! 🙂

I decided to participate in Share Your World this week. I haven’t done this in a while, and the last SYW I participated in was hosted by Cee Neuner, however now it is Melanie from Sparks From A Combustible Mind

who hosts this challenge on her blog. Go over to her if you’d like to find out how to participate or read others’ posts.

The questions for this week are:

 

Is there one post on your site that is really special to you?  (credit for this one goes to CrushedCaramel )

Hm, in a way all of my posts are special to me, but, the most… I guess I’d choose

Reasons Why I’m Learning Welsh.

 

How Do You Deal With Negative People?  (Athling2001 gets credit for this one)

Not the best, usually. If someone in my surroundings is very negative, like complaining all the time or toxic, it either gets on my nerves and it’s hard for me to be around such people and not feel constantly annoyed, or their negativity passes on me, as other people’s feelings or atmosphere around can be pretty contagious for me at times. So if I can, I just try to avoid this kind of people. Thankfully, I don’t have to deal with such individuals a lot nowadays.Our Zofijka can be described as negative at times, as she is very moody and sulky and you’ll never know what will be her next whim, and if she has a whim, she wants everyone to do whatever it is she wants. But with Zofijka it’s a bit different, her negative moods also often pass on me or annoy me, but she’s not of a toxic kind, and she’s a kid, so I can give her a piece of my mind when she’s getting too far with it, but you can’t do it to everyone, right? Or not in all circumstances.

What Is The First Thing You Think Of When You Wake In The Morning?

Very often it’s Misha, as he sleeps with me most nights so when I wake up any time at night or in the morning and know he went to sleep with me I always check if he’s still in his bed. He often wakes me up in the morning, because I always have the door to my room closed, so then in the morning I have to let him out, and if no one else is up yet, I usually feed him too, or if I feel too sleepy/lazy to go downstairs and feed him I just give him some snacks and let him out.So usually it’s Misha.

Would You Rather Be Able To Talk With The Animals Or Speak All Foreign Languages?

OMG now that’s so tricky! Let’s think… do I really need to speak ALL languages? Don’t think so, I’m not sure I’d really want it, however it would be so brilliant if I could just be able to speak all those I love, and if I spoke some others, maybe it wouldn’t be that bad… sounds cool… But then, I definitely feel that being able to understand animals, particularly cats, especially Misha, could be really helpful and even much more useful than speaking all the human languages. Misha is such a quiet child, he never says what’s on his mind, it’s hard to know what he wants or needs or feels, he’s very secretive and fearful. Plus, for all cats, communication is a rather subtle thing, and more often than not – visual, so if you can’t see, things get even more tricky, and I just often don’t have a clue what he wants. So yeah, understanding his language would be extremely useful. Another thing though, is whether he’d be eager to talk to me at all…

Share Your World.

Share Your World At Cee’s.

 

Again, this week, after a bit of a break, I’m participating in Share Your World.

 

A class you wish you would have taken?

I wish I could take classes from all my languages. I don’t mean at college or anything, just some sort of good courses, that could be relevant to me and accessible to me as a blind person, whether online or somewhere in my area, I don’t care if individual or in a group. I am mentioning this because as much as it isn’t particularly difficult to find an accesible course online in such languages like English, Swedish, Dutch, or even Finnish if you’ll try a bit more, with the rest of my favourites you have to really try hard, be patient and inquiring, and very determined, to actually find something. I find it an absolute miracle that I’ve found that Welsh course I’m doing right now, that it is so accessible, simple and effective and with such a supportive community, and moreover, that the same people also created courses in Cornish, Manx and Dutch, so that I don’t have to look for another place, also I’ve had great friends from Wales outside from that community who helped me a lot particularly at the very beginnings. But if you think of another favourite languages of mine, like Faroese, Sami, or Frisian, or Scottish Gaelic, or Scots or Shetlandic, or Irish… uhhhh things get tougher. The consolation may be that many of the languages I love are more or less related, so maybe it won’t all be that scary, I wouldn’t like to give up just because something isn’t accessible online. So yeah, I just try to not think about that right now, maybe until I’ll start to learn them I’ll find some good place for myself, or someone eager to help with those extremely rare, extincting languages. But other than languages, I’d love to learn about Celtic and Nordic cultures, and I’d love to take classes in playing Celtic harp. And if I were sighted, I’d want to be a neurosurgeon, so anything on that topic too.

Are you scared of heights?

Yes. I used to be very very very like VERY scared of heights, now it lessened kinda on its own so it’s easier, but I still am.

Are you a good cook? If so, do you consider yourself a chef?

Absolutely not. My cooking always ends up with a catastrophe. You rather don’t trust me with it. Last time I tried to magnanimously help my Mum make a big family dinner earlier this year, I ended up with two fingers bleeding quite massively, I mean maybe not really bad, but bad enough that you wouldn’t think I’ve just grated them accidentally instead of vegs. I have a rich history of similar and worse cases from the times when I was at the boarding school.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha, writing, blogging, progress in my languages. Good session with the therapist, and that we got along and have similar opinions on me changing therapists. That I translated my previous music crush’s another poem, I’m still over the moon about that. That I had a beautiful dream the other night involving my current music crush. (God, my crushes, what I’d be without them) That we had a cool day on the beach with Mum and Zofijka. And that I’m doing fairly well emotionally and that my anxiety has lessened a bit more since that dreadful nightmare I had.

 

Share Your World.

Here are Cee’s questions for this week’sShare Your World

and my answers.

 

In regards to puzzle what’s your choice: jigsaw, crossword, word search, mazes, logic or numeric puzzles, something else, or nothing?

I have never been a big fan of puzzles, maybe because of my blindness, but I do like word games so sometimes I used to play word search, and I still sometimes happen to play jigsaw puzzles with Zofijka.

List at least five favorite treats and it doesn’t necessarily have to be food.

Chocolate, anything spicy – particularly crisps, listening to my favourite music, buying new gem stones to my collection, Misha, anything to do with Misha.

What is your favorite type of dog? (can be anything from a specific breed, a stuffed animal or character in a movie)

Hm, I have some fondness for Jack Russell terriers just because we were supposed to have one and they seem cute and just because they’re JACK Russell terriers and I love all Jacks unconditionally hahaha. And I like the dog that now lives with my Mum’s family at the place where we lived before, his name is Polar, he is so clever, he just gets humans and what they want from him better than they do themselves.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Getting my crush – Gwilym Bowen Rhys’s – new album and listening to it, it’s awesome. Getting in touch with one of the name experts from Nameberry and writing an article about Polish names for Nameberry, that was exciting for me and I enjoyed doing it, I hope something good will come out of it, it’s thrilling. Misha, writing other things and blogging.

 

Share Your World.

A little late this week, I’m catching up on Cee’s

Share Your World.

Since we are approaching the hottest part of our summer in the northern hemisphere, what’s your favorite ice-cream, frozen yogurt or sorbet flavor?  (Those of you who live down under I’m sure you remember what it is like in the hot summer months).

As for ice cream, I love chocolate with mint. I also like berry flavour, chocolate, toffi, many more. I don’t have frozen yoghurt or a classic sorbet very often.

How often do you people watch?

As often as I am around other people. I love people watching, I like to learn more about people, observe their behaviours and personalities, analyse them, etc. so much so that as I often mentioned before my grandad often calls me x-ray, for that I apparently scan people hahaha. Sometimes I’m better at it, sometimes worse, depending on a person, but I like doing it. You just have to always remember there is always an option you may be wrong in what you expect a person to be like, so that you don’t judge them too quickly, as it’s hard to change your mind about them afterwards. So I try to be an open-minded people watcher. I also like to people watch simply when I’m bored and have nothing more interesting to do, funny things you can see sometimes.

If you had a choice which would be your preference salt water beaches, fresh water lakes, ocean cruise, hot tub, ski resort or desert?

Hm, I think salt water beaches. Ocean cruise and hot tub sound very interesting as well, but because of all my motion issues and others alike I don’t think I’d decide on an ocean cruise, and hot tub may be a nice option from time to time, but isn’t very healthy for me on a more regular basis, as my skin gets dry and itchy with too much contact with water, and it couldn’t be too hot ’cause I often get freakin’ dizzy and faint after long hot baths, such a pity.But I really love the sea, so salt water beaches would be just right for me.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

It was an almost all alone week for me. My parents had gone to Szczecin for a few days trip last week, and I stayed home with Misha and Olek, but Olek was mainly out at work or with friends. Zofijka was at grandparents’. It was a cool and very productive week for me. Also I got to know that my music crush, Gwilym Bowen Rhys, will be releasing his new album in September which makes me so excited.

 

Share Your World.

A bit late this week, I’m joining Cee’s

Share Your World

Tell us about your first bicycle or car?
For obvious reasons I don’t own a car, but I had a tandem bicycle which my Dad bought me and sometimes when it was warm weather and I was at home for longer we were riding. I was never a particular fan of cycling, but it could be fun at times.

What fictional world or place would you like to visit?
Avalon, or Valhalla, or Asgard, or any of the fictional places in L. M. Montgomery’s books. There could be more possibilities if I thought more about it, I’m sure there are tons of fictional places I’d like to visit.

If you could have someone follow you around all the time, like a personal assistant, what would you have them do?
Doing all the smalltalk with people on my behalf, 😀 making my favourite meals for me, keeping me company when I need it or am bored or can’t sleep, read books for me, those that I myself can’t, clearing Misha’s litterbox, driving me places, helping me do stuff around the house, helping me with not accessible language courses or books  – I think there would be always something they could do. But first and foremost, leaving me alone when I need it, I think it would drive me crazy sooner or later if someone literally followed me everywhere. It could be cool having such an assistant, but it should be a really good person knowing their job and I would have to really trust them, which’s often not that easy process for me nowadays.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha, progress in my languages, writing, reading, blogging. The fourth anniversary since I got out of the boarding school, I’m so happy and grateful about it, it was 27th June. On 26th six months have passed since I’ve created my blog and I am also happy because of it. It was my nameday on Saturday and I spent a very nice day doing lots of stuff I liked. Zofijka has gone for swimmig camp on Saturday which gave all of us some relief ’cause as I mentioned multiple times she’s a very absorbing kid and we all needed a bit of a break, she’s having fun as far as I know. Misha seems to more outgoing now when Zofijka’s not here and he spends a lot of time with me and seems in a very sociable mood. I even have made a little, but for me very big success with him, namely I was able to convince him that nothing bad will happen if he’ll try to sleep throughout the night with me. And we slept together for the whole Sunday night, he lied beside me on the pillow and was very calm and purring quite loudly as for him when awake, and seemed content. I am proud of Misha that he did it, he never slept with no one for the whole night before, only in his basket on my bed or with a big big distance, or just for a while and then ran away, despite being two years with us. and now he slept through the entire night beside me. And I am proud of myself that I was able to show him it’s not that scary and convince him it can be very nice for both of us. On Sunday I spent a lot of time with my parents and it was very nice.

 

Share Your World.

Cee’s Share Your World

If aliens landed on earth tomorrow and offered to take you home with them, would you go? (remember this is SYW, they are friendly aliens)

I’ve never been particularly interested in other planets, or cosmos in general, or anything like this and I’ve always felt like the idea of flying somewhere on a different planet is a bit scary, you know, all those anxieties I have related to motion, doesn’t seem like a pleasant thing. However – I’ve thought about it more now, and I think I would be keen to take a risk. One of my online friends has invented an interesting term a few years ago – namely “alien syndrome” 😀 – so literally that you feel like an alien in your environment, and people may perceive you a bit like an alien, etc. all for fun, but I immediately felt like – OH, that’s me. So, being an alien with “alien syndrome”, I shouldn’t waste a chance and I definitely should go with them. And maybe I wouldn’t be an alien then. Yes, it could be very interesting for sure. So I would go with them. Although I think I would miss my earthly family sometimes. Oh! And how I could forget! There’s no way I could go anywhere without Misha, so I’m only going if they let me take him with me. But if they’re “my” aliens, they sure would. 😀

How tall are you? Are you satisfied with your height?

I’m 168 cm, so I think something in the middle. I could be a few centimetres taller, but it’s just fine as it is. The more that I actually could end up much worse. I have hypopituitarism and apparently hypothyroidism, so I have growth hormone deficiency and by default I would stop at 140 cm. Grrrrrrrrrr!!! Scary!!! I mean very scary, because my family is rather tall, my brother is 190 cm or maybe more. but of course I was taking hormones so that I would grow more. But then I got an endocrynologist who was a small, corpulent lady and always in awe of my Mum’s height and she wanted me to be as high as my Mum, who is 180, and you just couldn’t persuade her I don’t need to be so tall, I’m  not gonna be a cheerleader or anything. I wasn’t that happy with it because… well, why the heck do I need to be so tall? But luckily then I changed the endocrynologist suddenly and she was OK with stopping it and understood me and my Mum that such height as 180 cm would be only a hindrance for me, so I stopped taking it, grew a little more by myself and so I’m 168, and happy with it. So maybe I could be something like, 170 cm or maybe even 172, but I’m lucky enough that I’m not too short and not too tall and could almost choose the height I wanted. The benefits of having growth hormone deficiency hahaha.Still though I meet people who say I’m tall, my horse riding instructor actually says it all the time, I guess it’s because I’m slim, the impression my instructor gets is probably because I’ve long legs and she always has to lengthen the stirrups for me no matter who rode before me lol.

Do you think you could live without your smartphone (or other technology item) for 24 hours?

Without my phone, why not? I can even longer. Without my laptop – hard and boring, but manageable if necessary, plus I still have my Braille-Sense that can somehow replace the computer for me, although there are so many things I only do online that whenever I don’t have the Internet for long it can be challenging. But without my reading devices, on which I also have music, particularly without Plextalk, it would be very hard.And very boring. And hardly manageable. I carry my Plextalk everywhere when I go out of the house. 😀 I guess I might be a bit addicted, but it’s not PlexTalk I’m addicted to but books and music and sometimes, particularly when I’m on the way to somewheere it’s the only way for me to practice my languages.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha, starting new level of my Welsh language course, blogging, writing, support from my friends, massage on Friday, which seemed a very hard experience for various and complex reasons which I talked about before, but turned ut to be cool and very relaxing.

 

Share Your World.

Share Your World

 

You can have an unlimited supply of one thing for the rest of your life, what is it? Sushi? Scotch Tape?

KEFIR!!! There’s never too much kefir.

Teleportation or flying?

Definitely teleportation. I’ve never flew but the prospect of it seems a little bit scary for me. If even riding by car for longer distances makes me dizzy then what it would be like to fly? Teleportation definitely feels safer and more pleasant.

Would you rather live where it only snows or the temperature never falls below 100 degrees?

I think I’m gonna pick snow. It can be annoying, but I much prefer colder temps to the heat. I mean it’s nice when it’s warm for a while, but long term it can make me pretty sick, so the snows sound much better. You can still turn the heating on or wrap up in as many blankets as you wish. When you’re hot, there’s not much you can do to really cool down.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Last week was really good for me. As always, I’m thankful for Misha, and I appreciated all the opportunities I had to blog, read, write, and any progress in my languages I’ve made, particularly in Swedish. On Sunday I was on the trip to the Hel Peninsula with my family, which went really well. We were on the beach and just hanging around, also had ice cream enjoyed ourselves.

Share Your World.

Here are this week’s questions for Cee’s Share Your World and my answers. If you’d like to participate in SYW, too, you can go over to Cee’s post here.

https://ceenphotography.com/2018/05/14/share-your-world-may-14-2018/

Complete this sentence: This sandwich could really use some …
…spices. Well it depends on the kind of this sandwich, I am not this sort of person who likes really weird tasting things and mixing up honey with chilli or anything like this, but if we are talking about cheese sandwiches, or any other that go well with spices, I need some spices on it. I love spicy food. It tastes weird when your sandwich is all covered with spices though. I like adding chilli pepper, black pepper or Cayenne pepper the most. I am not a big fan of sauces. My Dad is though, and he also likes spicy sandwiches, and you can find everything and anything on his. He likes making sandwiches for himself and for others and he usually pours them lavishly with a sauce, be it a dressing, mayo, ketchup, or even a chilli sauce, to the extend that sometimes the bread actually absorbs it and all you feel is sauce. I’ve been eating a lot of sprouts with my sandwiches lately and believe me, adding them makes a difference, the food feels like… dunno, fresher, or more concrete. I hate ham though, or salami, or stuff like that and it is because when I was at school we had sandwiches with ham for almost every breakfast and supper. I can’t stand it nowadays, unless baked or homemade.

What is your least favorite candy?
I don’t like most of those candies with gooey feelings, I like some toffi candies, but generally I don’t like the gooey fillings. I hate marshmallows and anything marshmallow-ish in texture. And anything that pretends to be chocolate. I also don’t like candies filled with alcohol and the kinds that are sooo incredibly sour, although I like some moderately sour candies. But what I hate the most are chocolate truffles. Ughhh I really don’t know why I hate them so much, but I also really don’t know how anyone can like them and why. Some say they are such luxurious candies, but for me they’re just… ew… can’t find an adequate word. Of course no offense to those who like them, who seems to be many, just because I hate them doesn’t mean you have too or that I hate you too because you like truffles lol.

What sign are you? Do you believe in astrology?

I am an Aquarius. Do I believe in astrology, hmm, that’s a complex thing… Generally, I don’t believe in horoscopes that you can find in magazines or online just next to all kinds of news. They are just ridiculous and the only reason I can think of for reading them is to laugh. Also I wouldn’t say that the characteristics of Aquarius you can find on most astrological websites fits me, well there are things that do, but overall it’s nothing that could describe me well and I feel like I could relate to characteristics of other signs much easier, like Pisces, or Gemini, or maybe Cancer in some way. But on the other hand, the descriptions on the popular sites can be very vague, plus it is not only your birth sign involved in it. There are also other astrological factors that make for what you’re like. And there are books on the topic which go deeper into details about the particular signs, their traits, tendencies and such, as well as how the people born in particular decades of the sign can differ etc. And there still are other factors, not astrological, that shape us, lots and lots of them, so we shouldn’t expect from an online, not personalised astrological description to fit us perfectly. I’ve been fascinated in different types of people’s personalities, plus I had a stormy episode in my life when I was interested in everything related to esoterics, and I observed that actually some more detailed characteristics can fit people very often. And that’s why I can say I believe in astrology. “But wait… you told me you are Christian”. Did you think so? Yes, I am Christian and I am a practitioner. I am no longer so very interested in astrology and all things esoteric as I was as a teen. And I don’t want to know my future, it won’t change anything and it is overly audacious in my opinion to want to know it. If we were supposed to know the future, we would live in the future, not in the present, or we would all be seers. But astrology makes sense, if you look at it rationally. After all, in the medieval times, it was common for monks and clergy to be astrologists. Only now, when astrology became commercialised and people make a huge business of it, it looks so ridiculous and superstitious and seems to evolve only around three line love horoscopes for desperate singles. My Mum, who is also a practicing Christian and helped me to kinda re-convert and get out of that spiritual mud I was sinking in, also believes astrology makes a lot of sense. My Mum has a moon calendar and as a lifestyle geek is very interested in how the Moon affects our health, and also growth of plants and similar things. She says that if the Moon can affect our body, if women used to always get period with the full moon, why can’t it affect us on other levels? There is even such a branch of astrology apparently, astrological medicine. I had a book about it, a very old book written in very beautiful, archaic Polish. And there was a whole long chapter on what may particular signs tend to struggle with health wise. ANd I checked it just for fun, whether it is true for me and Mum. And of course it was an old book, so there were stuff that we nowadays don’t suffer from, but there were things that are still actual and that we could relate to, which made us laugh and very surprised. So yeah, I don’t involve in astrology too much, but I do believe in it. As I believe in a few other things considered superstitious, controversial, sinful, foolish or outmoded.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week? Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha, blogging. Writing my math exam and two English exams. Math exam probably went very badly, but I’ll wait until the results come. I don’t worry too much about it. I mean, it would be fantastic if I passed it, I would love it, I worked so much on it, but I won’t be desperate, and won’t take the exam again if it’ll go wrong. But I’ll actually be surprised if I’d pass it because my brain felt really empty when I was writing it and I actually was writing for the sake of writing, so that the committee wouldn’t think I’m completely clueless, it was pure improvising. But you can’t imagine how happy I was when I got out of the school. It was my last direct meeting with maths. I felt so relieved and free afterwards. I spent a nice afternoon that day, having a huge plate of spaghetti with garlic and pepper at the Italian restaurant nearby and walking around the city with my family. Then we went to the hostel where we were living at the time of my exams and because my stress was huge in the morning and then dropped so suddenly, it left me with a very annoying headache, so althugh it was just 4 PM I went to bed and spent there the rest of that day, but it was still very productive, because I was reading my first book in Welsh. Nooo not Mabinogion yet, a book for children. “Matilda” by Roald Dahl, in Welsh version. And I was laughing a lot with Zofijka. English was easy-peasy, and I also appreciated that. My committee at both English exams couldn’t believe how quickly I wrote both of them. You have 4 h 15 mins in total for each exam, and I did it in 1 hour 45 mins. 😀 I was even more happy that I didn’t have any more encounters with the headmistress of the school, as I had last week. And I was very happy to go home. That was the most pleasant thing last week. also I was focusing a lot on my past this week, in terms of whether it is traumatic or not and why etc. and my Mum wanted to talk a lot about it, since it’s not only a deal for me. Emotionally it was a little intense at times this past week. On Sunday we went out to have some ice cream and have a walk by the sea. It was very very windy there so we ended up taking our ice cream and heading back home with them as we weren’t prepared for that windy weather. There are only 15 km from us to the beach we went to and it was a very sunny day where we live, but although there was still sun shining at the beach, the wind was really strong and cold and we were in short sleeves.

Share Your World.

So finally time to answer Cee’squestions.

If you were given $22 million tax free dollars (any currency), what is the first thing you would do? (This is just a dream question, remember anything can happen in SYW.)

Oh wow, that sounds so fabulous! I’d share some amount with my immediate family, some amount I would use to help or just make happy some of my friends, maybe would also support some charities. Then I’d buy a brother for Misha and lots of toys and other stuff for them. Not like I crave so much for another cat, but Misha does very clearly. I’d probably buy myself a house, or at least a vacation house, somewhere in the British countryside. And the rest would most probably go to the bank.

In what do you find the simplest of joys?

Misha, his purring, hhrrruing, when he wants to be close with me, which isn’t so very often as he is a reserved creature, blogging and interacting with my readers, laughing at silly things with Zofijka, writing almost whatever, doing stuff with my languages, spending quality time with my Mum, writing with my online friends, reading interesting or funny books, listening to music, particularly my music crushes’, horse riding, developing any of my interests in any way, yummy food/drinks, any achievements in learning languages or in horse riding, sleeping.

What would be your ideal birthday present, and why?

Um, I always have a problem with presents. Whenever I need something small, I always buy it for myself, well I know the best what I want and no one knows me as well as I know myself. So then when people ask me what I want to get for birthday I just don’t know because I have everything I need. Currently there aren’t any things that I can’t get for myself that others could get me as a present. Well I would always appreciate anything that someone bought or made thinking about me and especially for me even just because of the effort they put in it, plus if they put so much effort in it usually it is something I just like because they know what I like.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Last week was very stressful for me because of the finals coming. On Thursday we had a little family gathering and it was very nice. On Friday I had to go to that school for the blind to write my finals there. I couldn’t sleep that night and we had to get up at 4 so it was an awful Zombie day. The exam itself went well though, or so I think, because I’ll get the result on 3rd July. Afterwards though there was a very unpleasant incident with the headmistress of that school who not only was incredibly rude to both me and my Mum, but also actually triggered me and the very stormy meeting with her brought memories to my brain of which I actually wasn’t aware before that I have such memories. This was very tough and left me very unsettled so that I couldn’t pick myself up for days, but my family was very supportive which I really appreciate, as well as the support of my friends. I am also glad that I wrote that exam, no matter what the outcome will be. The weekend was rough too, I was just blah and still very triggered, but had some nice time with my Mum and talked through lots of stuff we never talked about before. In some way I also appreciate what happened to me on Friday, because it opened my eyes that I’ve really come through some kind of trauma, which I desperately denied for years as well as I could, and as I said it let to me and my Mum discussing plenty of important things that were, and in some way still are, standing between us.

 

Share Your World.

Time to answer Cee’s questions for this week.

Do you use paper money? If so is your money organised sequentially according to denomination?

I use paper money very rarely, most of the time when I do any of my shopping on my own I do it online, and if not, I rather prefer to use coins because it’s easier to distinguish them if you can’t see. But no matter if I use coins or paper money, I always try to have them organised by denomination so I don’t have to spend too much time searching for the one I need, even though nowadays my Mum usually goes with me so she can help me.

You are comfortable doing nothing? For long stretches of time?

Not really. Although I’m not like hyperactive, I am not good at just sitting still and staring on the walls and thinking/meditating. I’m a kind of multi-tasker, at least intellectually, and my brain gets bored easily when I have to just sit still not having anything to really focus on. Unless I have a lot of interesting things to think about.

What is your greatest strength?

Hmm, don’t really know, maybe my empathy? Although it doesn’t always feel like a strength. Hard to say.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week? Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha, progress in my languages, reading lots of interesting books, finishing school year (yaaaaaaaayyyyy!) and finishing with my Maths lessons. I still can’t quite believe it’s over, probably because I have my final exams yet to pass, but yeah, it’s over, I’ve been so fed up with school and education, well not in education in general, I’m still learning Welsh and stuff, but all that shitty school stuff around which there is always much more fuss than it’s really needed. Although I’ve never cared a lot about marks, it is always nice to hear that you have the highest average among all the classes for adults, which happened to me, much to my surprise, so yeah, I was happy about that. Althoug I felt like it’s a bit unfair – I know there were so many people learning much harder than I did, and caring much more about their results, and for me it all was relatively easy and didn’t crave much work, even despite I was learning mostly on my own, apart from maths.

https://ceenphotography.com/2018/04/30/share-your-world-april-30-2018/

Share Your World.

Traditionally, I’m answering Cee’s questions which she asks us every week in her Share Your World

series.

 

Been anywhere recently for the first time?

Recently? Don’t remember, so guess not.

 

List three favorite book characters.

Valancy Stirling – “Blue Castle”.

Dean Priest – “Emily Of New Moon” series (and almost all the characters from these series, but for some reason I’ve always really liked Dean).

Melania (Mila) Borejko – “Jeżycjada” series.

 

What is your favorite non alcololic drink: hot or cold?

Kefir, kefir, kefir, kefir and… hmm, did I mention kefir? Other than that, water, or water with lemon juice, raspberry tea is my newest discovery, hot chocolate or cocoa, although I rarely have it, strong, black coffee, but also latte or cappucino, buttermilk, orange juice, Pepsi, milkshakes, almond milk.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha, blogging and writing, some nice time with my Mum. I had a Zombie day =completely sleepless night last week and after that I was so sleepy that my sleep cycle settled a bit, but it’s still not perfect, but at least something. My family finally got over this tummy bug so at least one less thing I’m anxious about. I finally wrote my History control assignment, couldn’t motivate to it for a long time and it wasn’t a masterpiece, but at least i did it and passed. Misha has a new cartonboard house in my room where he sleeps willingly and spends all days and nights with me which’s nice. My crush Gwilym Bowen Rhys released an album, or rather took part on the album with various other artists, it was released on 6th April, there are two songs of his, I always love it when my music crushes make something new, of course I am a happy owner of this album already.

 

Share Your World.

Time to participate in Cee’s Share Your World

What was or is your favorite cartoon?
Gummi Bears. I loved them so much as a kid and watched every Sunday. Now I don’t watch cartoons at all though.

Which cooking utensil (other than the usual pots and pans etc) would you miss the most?
I think none in particular, as I don’t cook for myself.

Would you dare to sleep in haunted house overnight?
Oh no no no nooo! Absolutely not. 😀 I have times when even the slightest sounds in the house at night can scare the hell out of me, so no, thanks so much for the offer. 😀

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Honestly it was a horrid week for me, fulled of anxiety of all kinds an other crap, but there was Easter and some positives were for sure. Misha, blogging and writing as always. Easter Sunday was actually very nice, the only day I could call nice in the past week. We had a lot of family time. I got a present for Zofijka – a Sinsay gift card, some jelly beans and other sweets – and Zofijka surprised us all. She bought presents for all of us! For me, she made a bunny of sock filled with rice, and she wrote Bibiel on it. Bibiel is how she often calls me for fun. It’s sweet. Also she got me a bath salt and Toffifee, and Toffifee is always nice. We had a lot of yummy food o Easter of course which was enjoyable for all of us. At the beginning of the last week I passed one of my ENglish exams, the written one. My school ENglish exams are always very easy, so it was rather a piece of piss for me, but I’m glad I have one more exam passed. As for things related to my blog, I’m glad that on Monday two months have passed since I started blogging and also I got two blog awards last week which made me happy.

Thanks for hosting as always, Cee. 🙂

 

Share Your World – March 19, 2018.

What is your earliest memory?

Many people with whom I’ve shared this memory say it’s impossible to have such early memories, as I was 2 years old then, but anyway I remember it and it is too vivid and subjective to be just something I remember from what others told me, in my opinion, also when I talked to my parents about it they told me they never knew that I perceived that situation this way.

This memory is about my brother’s birth, or rather a bit afterwards. I only remember that me and Dad went to Mum to the hospital, after he was born. I remember being in the lift for the first time and being a little bit afraid, I was often afraid of such kind of motion, something moving up and down, because of my balance issues. Then we came in to the room where Mum lied, she was rather weak and didn’t talk much as she probably still was under the influence of anesthetics (we were all born through caesaeran section). She let me touch her tummy and the impresson of this moment has stayed with me for very long. I felt her stitches and it somehow moved me very deeply. I know I felt like it is my brother’s fault and it has to be very painful for Mum. I told them he had to be terrible if she now looks like this and my Dad was laughing he surely is an absolute monster. Then I remember us leaving and being n the lift again and going out of the hospital and nothing more about it. But I’ve often thought this situation had to have some significant influence on me. My parents told me, and I remember some bits and pieces myself, that I was often pretty rude for Olek, yelling at him or punching him all of the sudden and not letting him touch me, although it wasn’t a long period of time, but I guess we never had a proper/normal sibling relationship, mainly because of our limited contact as I spent most of my childhood away from home.

Which way does the toilet paper roll go? Over or under?

Over.

What makes you feel grounded?

Having my feet on the ground, warmth, but not heat, touching Misha and his purr, soft, relaxing music, deep breathing, and for some reason which I don’t really get – the scent and taste of mint.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha

, progress in my languages, blogging, strengthening relationship with my Mum. I was doing a lot of self care stuff this week, much more than usual. On Monday I had a very nice morning. Dad needed to do something in the port, he delivers fuel, often to ports, and has other things to do there related to his work as well. He offered my Mum to go with him and as she agreed, I decided to go with them too. While Dad was in the port, we were at the Sea

and it was very nice and beautiful and we had a great time together, we also spent a lot of time together after we got back home. Yesterday we all were in a restaurant and had a big dinner, very yummy. It was anxiety provoking, it is always very anxiety provoking for me to go out and there was a lot of people, I also find it rather stressful to eat among many people, but despite all that anxiety it was very nice, I can’t remember when was the last time before yesterday that I was in a restaurant. 😀 I guess more than a year ago. and although overall my week was rather uneventful, it was mostly good.

This challenge is hosted by Cee

. Thanks so much. 🙂

 

Share your world, March 5, 2018.

What did you or did not like about the first place you lived without your parents?

The first place I lived without my parents was the boarding school for the blind where I went when I was 5 and stayed there until I was 17. Since it was about 380 km from my home, I didn’t see my parents very often, which I think is quite essential for a child’s well-being, although they tried to visit me or take me home as often as possible. Because I got there so early, I don’t think now it had a good influence on me overall and I suppose I could be more traumatised by living there than I’ve ever thought, although I still often wonder why as other kids didn’t seem to experience so many difficulties around that so it all still feels a bit odd to me. So, generally I’d say I didn’t like that place at all. But I can’t say there were only negatives about that. I had some nice moments in there, although I didn’t have any close friends I was rather liked and had often fun with other girls, and also I have learnt some things there that I suppose would be hard for me to learn at home.

What is your most favorite smell/scent?
Hmm, hard to say, I think I’ve never had very good sense of smell, sometimes I can’t quite feel a smell that everyone around is feeling even if they say it’s rather intensive, but it’s not like I can’t feel scents at all, I think it’s a bit random, so… I think I’ll pick jasmine. I like it and I like jasmine perfumes and I think they fit me.

Would you prefer snowy winters, or not, and why?
I like snow, but am not as excited about it as many people seem to be, also I don’t really feel like it’s making the atmosphere around very different or “Christmasy” as many people seem to think. I think there should be at least some snow in winter, otherwise we wouldn’t notice it’s winter, but not too much, as on a longer term basis it can be rather annoying and troublesome on the roads. and children would get used to it quickly so it wouldn’t be as much fun, I suppose.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Generally it was quite a hard week for me, but of course there were things like Misha, doing stuff with my languages and even somehow progressing with them and other small but nice things and I enjoyed them more or less as always. I am glad I listened to my therapist’s suggestion and went to my GP last Monday and asked him to put me on the anti-anxiety med I was on a few years ago and it worked well for me. Now it does too and I seem to have less anxiety since then.

Thanks a lot to Cee

for hosting this challenge.:)