Music Monday Care & Love – Big Fox – “Sad Eyes”.

Hi! ๐Ÿ™‚

I’m happy to participate again in

Music Monday Care & Love

hosted by the Bee, check her post out and I strongly recommend you to take part in it as always. .

This week, Bee’s self care suggestion for us is toย  have a break. That sounds simple, and gives your creativity a lot of freedom, which is always fun, I believe. During this week-long break, Bee encourages us to to spoil ourselves. I wondered for some time what I’m gonna do for myself during this week.

I’ve been planning to get myself some almond milk, which I’ve been craving for a few weeks, and my Mum actually went to our favourite health food shop to get it for me, but they didn’t have it. It seems to be a rare thing to get. However the saleswoman she talked to ordered it and said it might be available around Friday, so, well, I can’t wait hahaha. I haven’t had almond milk in ages and I really like it. We could make some on our own with Mum but she’s not feeling the best lately with her blod pressure being very low so I guess it won’t be a very good idea, even if it would be cool to have your own homemade almond milk, we used to make it together regularly like a year or two ago.

Other than that, but still about edible things, not as healthy though, I thought I’d buy myself some snacks for a treat this week. We have a shop in Poland, they’re in Warsaw but they also sell online, anyway, they have a lot of sweets and snacks from other countries, mostly US, UK, Germany and Asian coutries, but also others. I discovered them at the beginning of holidays and got a big package of treats for our whole family, and just all of them were delicious and my family were delighted, particularly my Dad, who is now a big fan of Doritos, he never had any kind of Doritos before, even though some are actually available in casual shops, but not very popular for some reason. So I thought I’d buy another, maybe a bit smaller package of treats. I intended it to be just for me but ended up also buying a big chocolate with almonds for my Mum. I bought a smaller one for myself, and the same crisps I bought for myself the last time, chipotle Doritos and my MOST FAVOURITE chips since June – Jalapeno Pepper JACK from Lay’s. No, really, not just because they have Jack in their name. I admit, that was the reason why I was tempted to buy them for the first time – for me and for my Dad Jacek – but, as almost all Jacks I know so far, they turned out to be just smashing. ๐Ÿ˜€ Another reason why being a Jackophile is really fun. My Dad liked Doritos a bit more though. For those of you who are new and can’t get what I’m talking about, I love the name Jack and many other similar names, and pretty much anything with Jack or even Jac in its name is irresistible for me and I just have to have an encounter with it. Just my little kink, one of quite a few.

Anyway, I ordered all that stuff I mentioned, but I guess the money still didn’t get through to them so I’m waiting.

Putting the food aside, we have a very nice weather lately, not hot, but still warm, you can feel though that the autumn is approaching. So yesterday I decided I’ll have a very lazy day and as soon as I finished my morning routine I went out to the garden to get some vitamin D, as it was really sunny in the morning. Generally I don’t like to sunbathe, I mean I don’t like to have tanned skin, the more that I get sunburn easily, but I decided my legs could use some sunbathing. I had my book with me, but I almost didn’t read it, rather trying to just be and exist and either not think about nothing, or let my thoughts go smoothly wherever they wanted, with the only rule being thinking about nice and positive things. It might be tricky with my brain, but we managed. Mum was doing some gardening later on so i was helping her whenever I was able to.

It is nice that although technically school year is coming in like 10 days I guess, it is still warm and sunny. Plus, for me, it’s definitely not the end of holidays. The joys of not passing your finals, and not rewriting them, you can have holidays as long as you wish. ๐Ÿ˜› But even if I rewrote the exam and passed it and went to some uni this year, I wouldn’t go earlier than in October. And I am so glad that finally when they’re talking about the school year approaching, it doesn’t regard me and I don’t have to dread, or even care at all.

But in fact, I do care a bit, unfortunately. Not as in previous years obviously, when I’d freak out and be unable to sleep or be hugely depressed etc. but still. I try to think rationally and be happy and appreciate the fact that I’m off that hell since four years and that now I’m off of the education system overall, and I am, I am immensely happy and relieved about it. But at the same time when people are talking about the schol year coming soon, or I see Zofijka being a little anxious about the new year, some part of me gets anxious too. And that kinda sucks, that even if something’s over, your brain doesn’t always seem to get it entirely, as if it doesn’t really want to or can’t believe, or something.

But I try not to care about that part of me which still cares about those things, and I try to enjoy things that are going on in the present and get as much out of them as I can.

Oh and I also forgot about another self care thing I’m going to do today and which I’m really looking forward to. Yesterday I bought myself also a bathsalt, well I actually bought plain sea salt, because I think that’s the best bathsalt, first because I don’t really like things that smell too intense, especially sweet, and I am allergic to a lot of artificial cosmetics, and second because I just think natural things are the best. It came today, quite early in the morning, and I opened it, to see how it looks and smells, but although it’s just sea salt, it smells so beautifully. I actually don’t know how to describe it, but it’s so cool. To this salt I also bought myself A SMALL box with lavender oil balls, I’ve always loved them since my Mum bought them for me as a kid, but they’re hard to get. I don’t know how they’re actually called in English but they’re just little balls, they look a bit like made of plasticine to me and their size is similar to an average ball made of plasticine I guess, like, dunno, about 1,5 cm maybe, and when you put them iNto the water they melt and release the oil. I love the smell of lavender and these balls are god for people with allergies, well, for me anyway, and I just love them. They look s nice and smell beautifully and are so relaxing. I’d post a picture, but I’m too lazy and my Mum isn’t around at the moment to even make it. So yeah, I’d have a great evening today and I can’t wait. I must say all those things really helped me to feel better after that self-loathing slide I had at the weekend.

OK, that would be it about my self care activities, or those biggest, let’s get on to the music.

The song for today is by Big Fox. Under this name hides Charlotta Perers from Sweden and her accompanying musicians. I think she’s pretty charcteristic, or her music is. I like it for its melancholy, she often writes very interesting lyrics and it all sounds just good.

so here’s the song called Sad EYes from her.

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Music Monday Care & Love – Elaine Mai – Enniscrone.

Hi lovely people. ๐Ÿ™‚

A bit late this week, I’m taking part in Bee’s

Music Monday Care & Love.

As a self care suggestion, this week Bee invites us to start a journal, or generally focus on journaling, which I find awesome, because I find writing a fabulous way of caring for myself.

I’ve been writing my diary for years and years, in very different formats, depending on circumstances. Right now I’m having a big folder with a collection of files written in Word, and that’s my diary at the moment. Also I tend to write some journaling posts on my blog which I also love and find very helpful, and I am so happy I have this blog.

If you’re interested in journaling, or plan to start your own journal and need some suggestions, I greatly recommend Bee’s post to you, it’s great and it shows that writing yourself out is really a good and beneficial self care idea.

What I found quite inspiring of what Bee wrote about, are Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages. While it isn’t manageable for me to write my journal by hand obviously, I find the idea of stream of consciousness writing very good and helpful, and I think I’ll incorporate it into my writing, because so far, although I am pretty spontaneus in writing, I’ve always tended to filter my thoughts more or less. I think if I started to use stream of consciousness writing, it’d help me more to clear my mind of things easier. It sounds a bit hard to achieve to do journaling as a first thing in the morning, I don’t think I’d be ever able to do it, firstly because morning is part of the day when I’m most busy and secondly because I just find writing in the evening more suitable for me, and I am a night owl, so writing 3-4 pages is not an issue for me in the evening, while it can be in the morning sometimes.

So I’m gonna go deeper into journaling this week, focus at it more. I’ve ben planning since quite a while to start some new sections in it, so that it looks more journal-like, and not too chaotic, and so I think this week is the best time for it. And I’m going to try how the stream of consciousness writing will go, I’m very curious.

I’m really looking forward to all that, because I love writing, and I hope that this week I’ll be able to make my journaling even better, even though I think I can already now be proud of my diary, my consistency with it, and my writing.

As for the music, the Bee suggests that we share a song that describes our lives.

Now there are so many songs I can relate to, more, or less, or a lot. But it was hard for me to come up with something that would describe my life as a whole. The song that describes a huge part of my life is “Evacuee” by Enya, but, first, I shared it at the very beginnings of my blog so I don’t want to be boring and repetitive while there is so much other music out there to explore, and second, that was mostly a negative experience (even if the song is utterly beautiful) and why focus only on negatives.

Instead, I decided to perhaps go on an easy way a bit, and use the song I’ve planned earlier to share with you today. Or actually, it is a track. So there are no lyrics, but I still feel that in a way it does describe my life. A tiny little part of it – this day. When I was at school, I used to have music therapy, where we often interpreted various pieces of music in lots of interesting ways, for example, to what kind of activity they are most suitable, in what surroundings they would sound the best, what is the sort of “personality” of a certain song, etc. etc. etc. The song which I want to show you today was released a couple of years ago, and in Autumn, but if I had to interpret it and say what it fits, I’d say for me it is filled with summer chill and serenity, and is so pleasantly hazy. And my day today feels just like it. It’s a holiday in Poland today, we’re having a barbecue in a couple minutes, just the five of us, so chances are it could be fun, we’re all home and are chilled out, and I feel pretty stable overall. The only thing that doesn’t fit in is the rain, this song definitely sounds like a sunny day.

But anyway, I think it’s very nice, and that’s what counts, I think. ๐Ÿ˜€

It is a track from Elaine Mai, who is a Dublin-based electro musician. I’ve heard this song in an Irish-language radio station for the first time, and I liked it a lot, and then I saw it i my Spotify, and I think it really knows what I like, even though my tastes are so eclectic and picky at the same time.

The title of the track is “Enniscrone”. It didn’t ring a bell in my mind, I couldn’t figure out what could it be, so I asked my good and wise friend Google if he maybe knows what it means, and he did. Apparently Enniscrone is a seaside town in country Sligo in Ireland. With sandy beaches and such. So another thing to the picture of a chillaxed, holiday afternoon – the seaside. ๐Ÿ˜€ Makes for a very chill combo in my opinion.

OK, so there you have it. And as always, I strongly recommend Music Monday Care & Love for you to take part in, it’s great, music and self care is a great combination and can really make you feel better if you start your week with it, or even if you jump in in the middle of it as I did, music and self care are always good things, if used in appropriate amounts.

Music Monday Care & Love – Curly Strings – “Miks Sa Murrad Mind?” (Why DO You Break Me?).

Hi guys! ๐Ÿ™‚

And so I am taking part in another

Music Monday Care & Love

maybe a little late, but I think it’s much better late than never, especially since it lasts until Sunday. ๐Ÿ˜€

Last week, Bee encouraged us to just being and sitting still, to do it as a self care activity. That was a fabulous idea for me, but also a bit of a challenge as I’ve always been struggling with it quite a lot. Surprisingly, at the first day when I tried to do it last week with a little help from Misha, it went really well, I mean, much better than I expected. So I continued throughout the week, with the exception of Thursday when I was just too anxious and messed up and wired that it actually wouldn’t work out at all. But even during the weekend, which was also full of anxiety for me, I managed to do it for five-ish minutes everyday, always with invaluable help of Misha. it definitely wasn’t always easy, but I tried, and will continue if I can, because I feel like although it’s so hard, it often indeed helps my brain to shut off for a while. Music helped me with it hugely as well. When I was in so much anxiety at the weekend it was very hard for me to stand the silence so I listened to Enya’s music, to my favourite album “The Memory Of Trees”, which always soothes me a lot, well Enya is generally like an antidote for me. I am lucky to live in the town, but have all of the charms of the countryside as well, as we are on the outskirts, so I could also, like Bee, listen to the nature. On Sunday we even went to the beach, not for long as it started to rain just after we arrived, but still, we were able to stay there for a while and relish the sound of the sea combined with the rain and storm.

And this week, Bee invites us to not only be still, but also to focus on our breath. That sounded a bit easier to me when I read it, as I already had some more experience with just being, and now as I could focus on something, it seemed like even more doable. Turned out it doesn’t necessarily have to be like this, it is also a challenging thing for me in a way, as my attention constantly gets distracted by some other thoughts, but I try not to care about it too much. When I finally did focus on my breath fully, doing it yesterday night, I felt like it helped me significantly with my anxiety. I mean it was still there, but not eating me up, like a while before, and didn’t occupy the central position in my mind any longer. I hope I’ll get out of this anxious episode completely soon and that then it’ll be much easier for me to focus on things. Yesterday as I was doing this, Misha was accompanying me as well, and I was also feeling him and his deep breath, which in turn made me realise how shallowly I breathe when under a lot of anxiety. That’s generally not anything particular as it is normal that people often don’t breathe properly while stressed, but it helped me to see the difference between how it is, and how it should be. SO I tried to in a sense imitate Misha, in how deep his breathing is. It felt really good and soothing to be with him and just breathe together, I wouldn’t think it can be so much fun honestly, he seemed to be very contented too. ๐Ÿ˜€ He’s very slowed down by this kind of weather we’re having now, so he seemed to like this very simple activity.

Today I was very lucky because I could again be and breathe by the sea. This time not in the rain. I always find the sea very relaxing, soothing, healing and just fun, so I thought it would be a fabulous idea to do it by the sea. I sat on the sea shore and focused only on my breath and the sea around me, all its sounds, the water, sand and waves, and suddenly I just felt literally that my anxiety has washed away. At least for the time I was by the sea, but anyway, I was very happy to notice this, and it was such a lovely experience.

So yeah, really, if you’re gonna do this, if you want to do something for yourself this week, also do join us on the Music Monday Care & Love, and try to just do nothing except for breathing and focusing on it for a little while every day, but what I would myself greatly recommend you to do, if you can do it, is – to go to the seaside, and do it there. You’ll see how wonderful it can be then. Or if it can’t be the sea, let it be anywhere you feel really really safe and soothed.

OK, so on to the song I want to share with you today.

As some of you may know from my last Weekend Coffee Share post, on 29th July was my friend Jacek’s first death anniversary, and that I still can’t fully get it. I decided, or rather I didn’t decide, it went very spontaneously, anyway I spent almost the entire day listening to Finnish music. And no, it wasn’t Finnish metal, although I listen to quite a lot of it, but usually when I am very depressed, and this time I wasn’t. It was mainly folk, pop, and some lighter shades of rock, anyway, the music that I discovered via Jacek, that I recommended to him, that I associated with him. Because what always united us was the love for Finland, Finnish language, Finnish people and Finnish music. Swedish as well, but that’s another story, Jacek’s kinda main domain was Finland, while mine was Sweden.

Anyway, so I listened to all that Finnish music I knew, and lots of new stuff, mainly on Spotify, which resulted in Spotify overflowing me with tons of Finnish music, because I hadn’t listened to it to such a extent in a while before that day. And so I was happy, discovering lots of new things, and then I discovered a band called Curly Strings. I listened to one of their songs, then another, and yet another. Cool. Really cool, but… wait… sounds familiar, but… is it actually Finnish?

What can an incompetent human being in 21st century do in face of such an unsolvable dilemma? Only ask uncle Google for help, and that’s quite obviously what I did. And my instinct turned out to be right because it wasn’t Finnish! It was Estonian!

Maybe an average Finophile would then just shrug and go away in an opposite direction – I don’t know, but I am certainly not an average Finophile. I just love good music in interesting and not very well known languages. And this was quite a discovery for me and I was like YAAAY! because I can count on my fingers of one hand all the Estonian language musicians I know. All of those I knew so far were from a programme we have in Poland called “Strefa Rokendrola Wolna Od Angola”, (roughly Rock & Roll Zone Free From English). There is so much good music and so much of all the excentric music I listen to, I know from there.

So yeah, now I am exploring the world of Estonian music. Generally, Estonian isn’t among my VERY BEST FAVOURITE languages, but I still do like it a lot, and if I’ll ever learn all MY languages, Estonian might be one of the first ones I’d learn afterwards.

So here is the song, and there are also lyrics under the video, I think they’re very interesting, in a way they speak to me.

What do you think? Have you actually ever heard Estonian language before? ๐Ÿ™‚

Once again I highly recommend you to go visit Bee and take part in the Music MOnday Love & Care, and start to love yourself a bit more.

Music Monday Care & Love – song of the day (23rd July) – Hilde Selvikvรฅg – Allt For Deg (All For You).

Hi guys! ๐Ÿ™‚

I’m so happy to participate in Music Monday Care & Love (formerly Music Monday Blog Party), hosted by the Bee at The Bee Writes.

Music Monday Love & Care is all about appreciating yourself, caring for yourself, celebrating your life and loving yourself more, all the while sharing music we love and that helps us with doing it all.

I think most of us would benefit from being more caring and loving for ourselves, so if you think it’s you too, I really encourage you to take part in it as well, and do some special self-care activity to be better for yourself, and do listen to some good music meanwhile, it really helps in boosting your self-esteem.

The activity that Bee is suggesting for us this week is to “just sit and do nothing”.

An extremely hard thing for me to do, I must admit. ๐Ÿ˜€ I’m not like hyperactive or anything, but my brain certainly is, and I don’t like, or am not used to, doing nothing for a long time, when I read it in the Bee’s post I actually wondered for a while whether I’m capable to do so. ๐Ÿ˜€ I don’t like feeling bored, and my brain is constantly overthinking, analysing and stuff. So, here’s the challenge for me!

This week (excluding Monday because it was just to busy), every day I’m going to sit still doing nothing – maybe besides listening to some not very brain-engaging music – for like 5 minutes, or more if I can. Just switch my brain off and exist. 5 minutes isn’t long, but that’s always something for a start, and, who knows, maybe until Sunday I’ll be able to increase it? Maybe to 10 minutes? That would be cool, wouldn’t it?

I was always kinda jealous, but also kinda surprised seeing people who don’t have any issues with doing nothing. Like on the beach – you see lots of people just lying, sunbathing, and doing nothing else. I was often thinking that if I’d do it for longer… I don’t know what would really happen, but the thought of it just scared me! And no, I am not any sort of workaholic or anything, it just seemed, and still seems in a way, kinda odd to me to do just nothing. My Mum is a master at it, so I’m gonna take an example from her. She is a very productive person, but she seems to be an expert at herself and her own needs and always knows exactly when to stop.

Because of these issues I have, it’s also often hard for me to pray or meditate, and I often find it disheartening, I need to be really determined if I really want to do such things right and succeed. Not because I can’t focus my attention on what I need to do, but because at the same time I focus my attention on a thousand of other big and little things, and then any prayer or meditation just can’t go right, you need to immerse your whole mind in it.

But, yeah, today I tried, for 5 minutes, 5 and a half almost, Misha was with me and Misha was the only thing I tried to focus on. We just lied together and I felt his fur, his slightest movements, listened to his breath, the gurglings in his tummy, felt his smell… We do it very often with Misha, just lie together, but usually at the same time my thoughts are racing like crazy, and today I did my best to stop them. It went surprisingly well. It was hard, but not as tough as I thought it could be. I think the weather we have now here helps people greatly in just existing, it’s really hot and it always makes me feel kinda sluggish, so it’s easier to do such things.

So I think I have the reason to be quite proud of myself, that’s always something. and also yesterday evening I ended up with sky high levels of anxiety and was feeling very low because of something that sort of triggered me, I was feeling better in the morning, but still rather not stable, and I feel like switching off my brain and turning my attention only to Misha helped me to feel more stable and grounded, which is really good.

So, I’m curious how it’ll go for the rest of the week, and if you can relate in any way to what I wrote, I would recommend you to try doing it too, I’m curious about how and if it will help you.

OK, so let’s go to the song. As you could notice I didn’t post anything yesterday, including song of the day, so it’ll be the song I planned for yesterday, in Norwegian.

It is a Norwegian version of John Legend’s song “All Of Me”, (Allt for Deg in Norwegian so actually All For You), sung by Hilde Selvikvรฅg. I really like it, and Iรคm curious if you will too, and which version you prefer, the original, or this one. Enjoy. ๐Ÿ™‚

5 things I like about myself.

The lovely Carol Anne over at

https://therapybits.com/2018/04/13/5-things-i-like-about-myself/

has tagged me for the 5 things I like about myself tag. Thanks so much again, Carol Anne. Check out her blog, guys, it’s just fantastic, and check out her tag post.

Rules:

Thank the nominator.

Display the picture on your post.

List 5 things you like about yourself

1 thing must be a physical attribute.

Tag 3 or more people.

Again, sorry about the picture, but don’t have anyone here to help me out with it and don’t want to make a blunder or something.

I have to admit this is probably gonna be a little hard for me to pick those things about me and be objective, but let’s give it a go:

1. I quite like my figure. I am very slim, my Mum keeps joking I am morbidly skinny though. ๐Ÿ˜€ I was kind of too skinny for years when I was younger, but now, while I’m slim, I’ve heard from lots of people that I look femininely at the same time, because I have quite well outlined hips while still having the waist which I like. I like to be feminine. I don’t particularly like my breasts though to be honest, because due to growth hormone treatment I had for hypothyroidism, I feel like they are too big in comparison to my figure and overall weight, if I had to choose between the extremes I’d rather prefer to have too small ones than too big, I won’t have children and won’t be breastfeeding them either way, so it’s a bit pointless, but well that’s life. ๐Ÿ˜€

2. I like my ability to learn new languages. I get their accents quickly, or at least can mimick them which makes people laugh, but I also am a lover of words so absorb the vocabulary fairly quickly and I am pretty sensitive to linguistical details, like the way people talk, mistakes they make while talking, etc. etc. I really do like it, but sometimes it can be bothering if you talk with someone who has some annoying way of speaking or makes a lot of mistakes because I focus too much on details instead of what they say, my Mum has it too.

3. I am a good listener. Or at least so I can guess because lots of people come to me with their troubles and joys. Almost everyone from my immediate family likes to tell me about what matters to them, or to just rant at the world, or even want me to give them advice on things I’ve never had experience before. Sometimes when I give them advice they’re like “Oh wow! I didn’t think about it! I’ll do so!” like I’d explore something that no one knew about before lol. And I must say I quite like listening to people, their stories, learn more about them, it’s somehow fascinating. What my Mum told me recently surprised me greatly. She told me she thinks she’d probably become crazy if I wasn’t at home with her, because she wouldn’t have no one to talk to and to have “intellectual discussions” with. ๐Ÿ˜€ I felt really special (especially that I’d never thought that I may make any significant support in her particular case and I was very surprised to hear it.

4. I like that I “feel” other people easily. I am fairly good at feeling others emotions, I can easily know what their personalities are like, and usually I’m right in my assumptions, but try to not attach to them too much in case they’re not right. My grandad calls me X-ray because of that, or clairvoyant. ๐Ÿ˜€ And my Mum often asks me about opinions I have on people, although she’s pretty much the same and also feels people very well, maybe even better because she’s a visual and there are so many visual details that can tell you a lot about a person.

5. I like my sense of humour and my intelligence, I list them together because I don’t think they can exist without each other. They have both helped me in so many situations in my life.

I tag:

Astrid:

https://bloggingastrid.wordpress.com/

The Bee Writes:

https://beehalton.com

Cyranny’s Cove:

https://cyranny.wordpress.com/

and anyone else who’d like to participate, just let me know you did it so I can check your 5 things out. ๐Ÿ™‚

Question of the day.

What is the most important goal every person should have?

My answer:

I think such goal could be to love ourselves. ‘Cause when we love ourselves, we automatically become better and more loving and caring to all the other beings in the world, thus making the life easier for all of us.

What do you think? What should such goal be in your opinion?