Your pet turns into a human. What do you do?
At first I think I’d be really scared. Like, such a process certainly can’t be nice, it would look scary. I wonder if Misha would be scared too. He’s normally very anxious and nervous so I suppose yes, but I have a feeling that he’d be more calm and collected as a human. He’d apparently be 36 years old. Quite a mature age, especially compared with the way we, but especially myself, treat him. He seems to not mind it very much at all as a cat, but probably would as a human, so we’d have to start to treat him accordingly. Some clothes shopping would have to be done for sure. Sofi would get perpetually traumatised if she saw a naked dude with no testicles running around the house after she comes back from school. Speaking of the testicles, I suppose he wouldn’t miss an opportunity to take a revenge on us, in whatever form that might be, for depriving him of this essential body part. Perhaps there would be some court case involved…
I wonder what would the whole transition process be like. I mean, after all, he’s never been a human before. Would it be difficult for him to adjust to such change and would he still have a lot of cat-like behaviours and find it all difficult to understand or would it be smooth, perhaps voluntarily initiated by him, and he’d find his place in the human world fairly easily? Would he still like to wear grey, or would he be sick of the colour and would prefer more bright colours? I doubt it. He’d have to have a bed somewhere, or preferably his own room, I guess it would no longer be appropriate for him to sprawl himself on my bed or Sofi’s armchair, he’d have to have a place for himself. I’m not sure how we’d go about that. Perhaps I’d have to move in with Sofi, ugh. But I guess my room would be more inhibitable for him than Sofi’s, and he’s liked it more so far. Unless Olek would finally find his own place and move out, that would be ideal as I’m sure the human Misha would like that room the most, I’m afraid mine would be too girly. And in Olek’s room there’s a balcony so he could go out there. Or perhaps he’d rather want to leave us and start a life of his own? I’m sure he could go far and be very successful. I suppose he would have his brains in the right place and would be quite intelligent since he already does pretty good in this area as it seems for his species’ standards. But maybe he wouldn’t care about being successful. Maybe he’d prefer to live a more Snufkin lifestyle, having loads of adventures which he’s always craved so much, sleep roughh and visit us occasionally, just like the Snufkin in the Moomins. He’d probably be really frustrated with us though that we’ve been imprisoning him like a slave for so long, so maybe he wouldn’t visit us at all.
I wonder what he’d like to say to us. I always feel it’s a pity that Misha can’t speak and tell us how he feels about things, what he likes and what he doesn’t, what he would like, what he thinks about things etc. it would be so interesting. Or at least that he’s not a bit more vocal. But Mum claims that once he’d be able to speak, he wouldn’t shut up and he’d be very annoying, talking about food all the time and trying to persuade us to let him out. I feel though that if he was a human he wouldn’t be particularly talkative at all. I just have a hard time imagining that. I really think he’d go towards the other extreme where he’d be so quiet that people would consider him rude. Not out of shyness or lack of confidence, just because he wouldn’t feel the need to share stuff with the world. I also don’t think he’d be such a scaredy cat as he’s now, when I think of a human Misha I imagine him as very confident, arrogant even. He’d also not be quite so childish as he is, but he’d still probably be a bit immature since, let’s be honest, he hasn’t had too much experiences in life. I think that he’d be like a little toddler in that he’d tend to overestimate his abilities and not fear things that normal adult people fear, like heights, for example, or stuff that is generally risky. Perhaps after the whole five years of understimulation and lethargy, he’d be a proper adrenaline junkie or something. I think he’d be a real hedonist and if he decided against being a real-life Snufkin and stayed with us or have a residence of his own, he’d take great care about what he eats, how his surroundings look like etc. In fact I think it’s possible that after a couple years or even months of Snufkin life he’d figure that it’s actually a lot easier to be a lord and he’d come back to his mostly sofa-orientated lifestyle. So he’d need a good job to satisfy all his whims. I wonder what he could do for a living but I can’t come up with anything very suitable for him. Sofi always says that he could be something like an advisor, like listening to people’s problems and helping them, but I can’t see him being a therapist, he’d probably be a good listener indeed but way too egocentric. Perhaps he’d be some eccentric artist, like a writer or a painter… Yes! How could I forget about that?! Misha definitely has some inclination towards visual arts and I think that’s what he’d be doing. Or he’d make some experimental music or jazz or other stuff that’s hardly digestible for most people. I don’t know if it’s a thing in English, guess not, but in Polish, very chaotic, cacophonic music is idiomatically referred to as “cat music”, and a lot of people call experimental stuff cat music, so that seems quite ideal. I’m not sure it would suffice to satisfy his whims, but who knows. Or perhaps he could pursue a sports career and be a footballer or something. Or move to Russia, quietly poison Putin and establish his own regime. Or he’d found his own cult where the members would be obliged to worship him and he’d wash their brains while claiming to heal them. I’m sure he could make a very successful dictator or absolute monarch but I’d be curious as for what his political views would be like. I feel like if he stayed here we’d often argue about those things. Regardless of what he’d do for a living, he’d no doubt be very attractive and magnetic even without his bits, and seduce women across the world. Not having a normal, sexual life would likely cause him a lot of frustration, but I’m sure he’d be very innovative and creative in this area, and perhaps even change the common mentality around relationships a bit, that it doesn’t have to be all about or for the sake of sex. Perhaps he’d enjoy enough esteem that it would even become trendy for people to get rid of his bits and adopt feline-like manners.
Oh but the question was what I would do, not what Misha would be like, right? So, well, yeah I’d have to buy him clothes, probably give him my room if he decided to stay here, and even though it would probably be quite problematic and a weird situation I’d love for him to stay here. I’m sure that aside from some possibly very differing views and ideas on things we’d get along pretty well overall, we’ve lived the entire five years together, after all, and we’d have loads to talk about and share with each other. And if he decided to leave, I’d have to get over id, and in the end it would probably be me who would be most frustrated of all, that despite all my efforts, love, dedication and loyalty, he now sleeps with and purrs for everyone else but me. 😀
How about you and your pet(s)? 🙂