The Power Of Food And Music – myshortstory.

And so, the time has come. I decided I’m going to write a short story in English. Please be understanding as it’s my first one, so it may not be perfect stylistically or grammatically, also my vocabulary in English is still much less extensive than Polish, so my skills are limited, and I wanted to start off with something very simple and uncomplicated, probably even quite superficial, but I hope it will be enjoyable and still of bearable quality. i came up with this idea on Tuesday, and I based it on some writing prompts for Tuesday that I found on WordPress. Opinions are more than welcome. 😉

 

 

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The Power Of Food And Music

 

It was a gloomy,

Tuesday

afternoon, and Eleonora Greene, known as Ellie among her friends – a young chemist – has just come back home from work. She was knackered. She spent most of the day doing all sorts of experiments in her

laboratory.

Ellie loved her job, but today nothing seemed to go well, and her opinion was that on days like these – rainy, foggy and cold – everyone deserves a break. The weather was also affecting Ellie’s mood, and she felt slightly dejected. It wasn’t a normal thing for her. Ellie was an energetic and level-headed person with an optimistic, but very practical

angle

on life. When something didn’t satisfy her, she immediately looked for ways to change it. She just wasn’t used to feeling sad. Therefore, as soon as she came home, she thought: “It can’t be like this any longer. I need to find some

solution

for this and cheer myself upright now”.

There was only one thing in the world Ellie loved as much as chemistry. This thing was cooking. Not only because she liked food, as most humans tend to do, but also because her own view was that cooking is also chemistry. So there was only one way she could think of at the moment to make herself feel better. Make some good food! Ellie carefully examined the content of her fridge. Apart from many other edible products, she found there a lot of Swiss cheese. After some good thinking and flicking through her huge collection of cook books, wondering about an ideal comfort food and a way to utilise all the Swiss cheese piling up in her fridge, she decided to make Swiss cheese enchiladas. They sounded delicious, and she had all the ingredients

close at hand.

Moving around the kitchen, mixing and stirring the ingredients and baking, together with all the enticing smells filling the house, helped to shift Ellie’s attention to more positive things. Completely absorbed by baking, she forgot about the passing time. She found the whole activity of cooking so enjoying that in the end, there were many more enchiladas than she intended to make. Nevertheless, Ellie relished her meal thoroughly and ate away as much as she could. The feelings of joy and pleasure have

magnified

greatly and her previously low mood has become only a vague memory.

Just after she finished and cleaned up the kitchen, the doorbell rang. It turned out to be Ellie’s neighbour – Nadia. – Nadia was a single woman in her late 20’s, and both neighbours were good friends, despite all the differences in their personalities and tastes. While Eleonora was

curious

of the world, energetic and down to Earth, Nadia was pensive, refined and subtle. They both were quite deep thinkers though so liked each other’s company a lot and, paradoxically, had a good understanding of each other and complemented one another.

“Oh girl!” – Ellie exclaimed excitedly – “What a perfect timing! I’ve just made tons of enchiladas and don’t know what to do with them, come in and help me get rid of them!”

“It’s so nice of you, Ellie” – said Nadia slightly confounded – “but I’m afraid I can’t. I’ve just popped in for a second to ask you whether you would like to go with me for a chamber music concert. I have a spare ticket and don’t know what to do with it either. I don’t feel like going there alone, but I love this band”. Nadia explained to her friend briefly why she was left out with a spare ticket by a guy she had been dating for a while and what a big disappointment their breaking up was for her. “Chamber music?…” – Ellie thought – “That must be rather boring”.

But she really liked Nadia and felt for her at this moment. She knew her friend was very enthusiastic about chamber music and she wanted to do something kind for her. So although she felt much better listening to something a bit less sophisticated, without further ado she simply said: “OK, when does it start?”

“In an hour. Would you really do it for me? It’s so sweet of you, I know you said you don’t like chamber music, but I really don’t have anyone else to go with.

“I’m happy to go with you if it makes you happy. And to be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever listened to chamber music, so who knows, maybe I’ll like it”.

Twenty minutes before the concert was meant to start, the women found themselves in front of a large, noble-

looking building, which as Nadia explained to her friend was a medieval palace.Ellie felt both bewitched and dazed by grandiosity of the building.

Finally, they found their places in the chamber, and the concert started. Ellie graduately started to feel as if a warm wave of serenity floated through her body. It wasn’t one bit boring. She wallowed in sweet sounds of piano, violin, cello and other instruments, feeling all the bad emotions of the day going out of her mind, and being replaced by calmness and peace. Between one music piece and another she promised herself to NEVER EVER judge anything before trying it out.

By the end of the day she felt not only much better, but it even stopped raining, and the world looked just like a much better place to live in. On the way back, Ellie thanked Nadia for the lovely evening, and asked her to come over to her and finish it with enchiladas. Once they were both stuffed and Nadia went home, Ellie smiled to herself and said: “I would never thought such small things like chamber music and Swiss cheese can change your day entirely”.

Remembering… or how to tell your brain it’s over?

I’m remembering

a lot of stuff from the past lately. Lots and lots of memories which I try to ignore, and sometimes I succeed, sometimes not. So I thought maybe writing about it would help, if ignoring doesn’t work out too well. Those memories are mostly related to the beginning of the school year, which used to be an absolute nightmare for over a decade.

I see people from my family and others buying their kids things for school, I hear my Mum talking how she’s afraid of the next schol year for Zofijka, I notice time flying so quickly and September approaching, and each time I see any signs of the school year coming, I have to remind my brain, it’s not you now, it’s over. But it doesn’t listen for too long, and soon I get overflooded by another wave of memories.

I remember all those days and nights before I”d go back to the boarding school when I cut myself ’cause my pain and helplessness were too bad. I remember not being able to eat and sleep because of the anxiety. I remember the feelings of utter loneliness and not belonging anywhere, along with many other overwhelming feelings with which I couldn’t cope, but finally I always had to cope somehow, so I just bottled them up, feeling them rising inside of me with every second. I remember feeling very unsafe and rebelled that I had to leave everything that felt nice, familiar, everything and everyone that I loved, and how desperate I was to not do it. I felt guilty and weak because even though the situation was the same and obvious for so many years, that there was no alternative for me, I still couldn’t adjust to it. Well in a way I did, but the adjustment was only hiding what I felt so it wouldn’t bother anyone else, because well how long can it take you to accept something so obvious and inevitable that if you have special needs and need special education, you need to go to school where they can adjust things to you, and there aren’t many of such so most children have to be away from their families. For me that was an issue, and it looked like it was wrong.

Those feelings always accompanied me when I had to leave home and go to the boarding school, but when the school year was starting, they were particularly intense. Because the school year always meant changes. Changes that could often regard me more or less, but even if they were directly to do with me, it wasn’t a norm that I, or even any of my parents, were asked about our opinion, whether we agree on them or not, whether they’re acceptable. That was normal there. If you had a friend, who was also your roommate, with whom you lived for years, you got to know very well, you should be aware that when you come back to school next year, you may suddenly be informed that you two will no longer live together because… just because. And you could not only be moved to another room, but also to a completely different group. THis exact situation didn’t happen to me, only because I didn’t have real friends there, but it did to one of my classmates and she was just told to get over it, because it was necessary and such situations happen in life so she has to get used to it. I though changed my roommates very often too, and it was often very tough. And many other changes could await you there, hardly, if ever, nice.

So yeah, I was just sick of anxiety every year before the start of school year, and afterwards too.

But it’s now four years since I got out of there, and I am so happy about it, yet each time it’s close to September, my brain goes mad. Even this year, when I’m completely free of that freaky brain washing machine called education system. I even had a pretty yucky dream last night, I haven’t have this kind of memory dreams in a while, but that one was yucky and it took me quite a while to get back to the present after I woke up. Those dreams aren’t particularly scary, like creepy or something, but are just kinda made of my crappy memories so reliving them over and over definitely isn’t nice aND I wake up feeling nausious and stressed out.

As I wrote earlier today in Music Monday Care & Love post, I am trying to fill this week with various self care activities and other enjoyable things, and that helps me to stay in the present and focus on the positive, and there is much positive stuff going on in my life. Plus it helps me to not slip down again to that self-loathing hole, which is always very easy when I’m having memories. But it doesn’t stop my brain from going back to the past, often at least expected moments.

So I wonder, how do you make your brain know it’s over? It seems all so complicated.