Question of the day (26th October).

What do you need but do not want? – ALSO – What do you want but do not need?

My answer:

Hm, that’s tricky for me for some reason… Sometimes I don’t really know what I need, or I feel I need way too much, or that whatever it is that I need, I just can’t get it. I also often haven’t a clue about what I want, despite I know that I want something desperately.

My Mum says I neeed to socialise more, but I definitely don’t want to. I mean, it’s not like I don’t like people in general, I’m just fine with only those I talk to, I don’t need more, and social interactions can be so damn exhausting.

I need to scan all my books someday, but I don’t want to, well, I do, but it’s so time-consuming and I never seem to be able to do it right. 😀

I need to tell a story about Jim to Zofijka – perhaps you remember when I was writing about bed time stories I make up for Zofijka, about a creature, a jimosaurus, called Jim, who lives by helping people and it is his food. So, I haven’t come up with anything lately and didn’t feel like story telling in months, and Zofijka wants her story, but I kinda don’t want to have to do it.

My Dad has guests right now – our family – I think I need to go to them at least for a while just to say hi or something, but I definitely don’t want it. It’s not that I don’t like them as them, I can’t neither like them nor don’t like, I just don’t feel up to it at all at the moment, and, in case I hadn’t mentioned that earlier, I hate socialising. 😀

I know I need to eat something, and that’s another reason I practically should go downstairs, but I feel quite a lot of anxiety since like… last night I guess, don’t know why, and when I’m anxious I don’t really want to eat. I just know I should rationally as the last thing I’d eaten was lunch, which was very yummy, my Mum made a very yummy soup, though, due to my anxiety, I wasn’t really able to enjoy it fully.

I need to have my blog private and control the situation and don’t let my obsessive friends make me freak out, but I kinda don’t want it, I’d like to be able to stay public and interact with people normally and be safe, not need to hide and care what others will do or think.

I want a new laptop, well my current one has been fixed about a month ago, but it could be nice if I had a new one.

I want Misha to be with me, but he’s downstairs now and I don’t need him practically.

I want to go horse riding, I couldn’t this week, but right now in this very moment I guess I don’t need it, and it would be hard to achieve. 😀

I want some new gem stones to my collection, but I definitely don’t need them.

I want to have a long, hot bubble bath but I don’t need it, and I am afraid my skin wouldn’t be too grateful.

I want my anxiety and low mood to go away, but I can still manage, I guess lots of people have it worse, so, well, I guess I don’t need it.

I want to be able to speak all my languages, but I don’t need it.

I want to win the lottery, but I don’t need it.

Well I think there could be many more things I need but don’t want or want but don’t need, but that’s all I am able to come up with right now.

You? 🙂