Question of the day.

I have some questions for you on the topic of childhood now. Here’s the one I picked for today. πŸ™‚

Were your parents/guardians flexible or strict?

My answer:

My parents were definitely flexible! My Dad likes to think about himself as a very strict parent, but he is only very strict with Olek, with whom he doesn’t have the best relationship so that strictness seems to come more from the place of anger and the need to control than care. As weird as it feels to admit sometimes, for me, and I think for Zofijka too, he doesn’t really have much authority. He likes to tell all of us what we have to do in his view but we never care, sometimes we’ll do it for the peace of mind. My Mum is much more of a role model and an authoritative person for me, even though she was a big softy in raising all of us and with a bit of a tendence to be overprotective. Still, she has her rules, and they were always clear to us, and sometimes she can be pretty strict, but not over the top, just for the sake of being strict and tough, but rather for the sake of being possibly fair. She’s always been most flexible with me, using the excuse that I am the most disciplined of all of us, although I don’t think of myself as a very disciplined person and I am not even sure I would like to be one, it certainly makes life easier but also awfully boring, so I think what saves me is that I have some common sense after her, rather than am somehow very disciplined or dutiful or something like that.

What was/has been your experience? πŸ™‚

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Question of the day.

Do you like your parents’ inspiration for choosing your name, or do you think they should have gone a different way?

My answer:

I definitely don’t like it. My Mum made a promise to herself as a young girl that she will call her daughter after her best friend (whose name she really liked at the time). At the same time it was the name of my Mum’s youngest sister. So she did, even though that friendship soon ended and Mum doesn’t even like that name as much anymore. I really love my middle, even though it is so overwhelmingly popular, but I don’t like that they just did it as everyone else in our region and my middle name is my Mum’s first name – Anna. – It is also Zofijka’s middle name, I think it would have been more cool if we had different middles. My Dad wanted Anna to be my first name. I really love Anna, but it is really so very typical and popular in Poland, plus it is as I said my Mum’s name, so I don’t like the idea. And I don’t like the nickname Ania, which Poles use ALL the time, even though Anna is already short and sweet. Ania is so bland and boring. I’d rather be just Anna with no nicks, had it been my name, but that wouldn’t work out with people. So, as popular as it is, I’m glad my first name is not Anna.

How about you? πŸ™‚

Question of the day (17th August).

Have you come across many people who share your name?

My answer:

No. I would kind of like to meet more Emilias, I just think it could be fun to meet more of my namesakes, but on the other hand I am glad that I don’t know many of them, it’s cool this way. Although Emilia is pretty big for babies right now so I’ll probably meet more of them in future, I see little Emilias being born on our baby naming Polish community pretty much every day. I know one who’s about 2 years my senior I guess, she was in my school. The other is my Dad’s colleague’s wife’s sister. My parents no longer keep in touch with their family and I only knew her very superficially, but my Mum knew her well enough that she got bad associations with the name, and that was the main reason why it was so weird for her when I’ve become an Emilia. I also know one Emilia who is now I suppose in her mid 30’s. But neither of them I know well.

How about you? If you do know someone with the same name as you, do you like them? Do you like having/not having many namesakes? πŸ™‚

Question of the day (16th August).

So, another name related question of the day is:

Have you ever told people to call you something different from your birth name? Did it stick?

My answer:

Well yeah, as I wrote in the last question of the day post and in many other posts, I’ve changed my name legally, but even before I did that, I wanted to be called Emilia for many years. I just felt it fit me. There are tons of names I like more than Emilia, but I’ve just always thought Emilia fits me very well. So, I guess it started when I was about 12, and I asked my family to call me Emilia. Some did, some didn’t, but they were all like “You must be really crazy!” and it didn’t stuck. Even though my Mum agreed with me theoretically that Emilia fits me better and that my birth name didn’t really and that she gave it to me not giving it much thought. So I didn’t push it, but I knew that if I am still going to love Emilia for myself when I am adult, I will change it and it will be the only way to make it stick. Although I’ve been going by Emilia with my online friends even before I changed the name.

After I changed it, it did stick, but there are still people who don’t get it and there are still people who will never call me Emilia, just because. It’s pretty frustrating, in that I don’t get why it’s such a problem for them to do so. On the other hand when I talk to people to whom I haven’t talked in years and it’s just a single occurence that we met, I usually don’t let them know I’ve changed the name as I don’t want to make things more chaotic. But still, Emilia stuck pretty well, and I hear my birth name less and less now, but it suck that it takes so much effort to manage such an apparently simple thing and get people to call you what you want.

When I was younger, I called myself BiΕ›biΕ›, or some other similar things, well that’s making it a bit simplified but in any case I used to talk about myself in specific circumstances as about BiΕ›biΕ›, in third person, I sometimes still do especially when I am very excited about something or feel a bit odd… like a BiΕ›biΕ›, oh well I don’t know how to describe it. And me and Zofijka have made a weird word based on it which is Bibiel, and Zofijka often calls me Bibiel. I wouldn’t like everyone to call me Bibiel, but it’s cool when she does, or other peeps I’m close to. I tried to spell it Bibielle or something that would look more feminine because Bibiel kind of doesn’t make the best impression in writing in my opinion, but that never stuck, so it’s just Bibiel.

You? πŸ™‚

Question of the day (15th August).

Hey guys! πŸ™‚

I’m catching up on posts finally, so let’s catch up on some fun questions, as well. As you probably already know if you’re here, I’m hugely into names, so let’s focus on our names for a while. πŸ™‚ My question for you is:

When another person says your name out loud, does it ever sound weird, to you?

My answer:

Generally not, but my previous name change and name dilemmas that I’d had complicate things slightly. My name is nothing unusual in Poland, so there are no issues like that people wouldn’t know how to pronounce it, especially that Polish is a phonetic language, and also we don’t have such a diversity of accents as there is in English so people sound pretty universal. However as you may know I’ve changed my name legally some years ago, and it took people some time to get used to it. And even though I felt like my name was my name much earlier than I changed it legally, and I was sometimes already going by it by then, I had to get used to using it all the time as well. I know for some people it was sort of weird at the beginning to call me Emilia, and, perhaps as a result, it sounded a bit weird to me in their mouth. Even my Mum, who really advised me to change it and who sometimes called me Emilia even before the official change. Sometimes people still get confused, my Dad still isn’t fuly over my name change, because he just doesn’t like changes that he doesn’t understand, and in his mouth Emilia always sounds a tiny bit sarcastic, which I don’t care about too much now. People used to mispronounce my name a lot after I changed it, they often called me Emila, which I hated, and still fiercely do! Not that Emila and Emilia are that very different, Emila can actually work as a diminutive of Emilia, though it is also a separate modern feminine form of Emil in its own right, but to me Emila and Emilia sound wildly different! I definitely don’t feel like an Emila, and there are so many better nicknames out there. People in Poland have a real need to nickname almost every possible name, so, especially at the beginning of my adventures with the name Emilia, they would just assume I must go by Emila in daily life, or would misread Emilia for Emila, or simply mispronounce. While I was using my birth name, I’d had already enough of people assuming which nicknames I like, and even people in my distant family, not to mention strangers, would automatically call me a nickname that made me feel like gritting my teeth every time I heard it. So obviously I couldn’t let the same situation happen with my new name, especially that I was already an adult and could decide myself on what I want and don’t want to be called. So I just conveniently used that argument that Emila is a name in its own right, and I am an Emilia. And everyone understood without a problem. I don’t have anything against nicknames, in fact I go by some nickname almost all the time in my everyday life, but it’s either Emi, Mila, Milka, or Emilka.

When I was using my birth name, in my perception, it always sounded weird, not because it was weird, but because it felt weird on me, and it still does sound weird when someone uses it occasionally. But I think I’ve already written on this topic and how it always made me feel ragin’ just because some innocent being was talking to me. πŸ˜€

So, what are your experiences? πŸ™‚

So You Know.

Hi guys! πŸ™‚

Candace over at Revenge Of Eve

does a series on her blog called So You Know, in which she asks us some personal questions. I’m going to answer her questions for this week. πŸ™‚

 

  1. Do you feel confident in expressing how you feel about particular things? Example: sharing your opinion or protecting your boundaries – Opinions? Yes, I usually have no problem expressing my opinion, unless there is really some sort of a tricky situation, either tricky socially for me, or in that the topic is tricky or my opinion on it is very unconventional or controversial. I don’t want to hurt people so I might be more cautious and not as direct as I would be in other circumstances, but if they ask for my opinion I will share it honestly. I guess it works, because I’ve had quite a few people who badly wanted to discuss politics and religion or such with me and some of them were like “Well it sucks you don’t agree with me but I appreciate your sensitivity/tolerance” or something like that. πŸ˜€ So yeah, when things get stressful, I try to be possibly diplomatic, unless they totally piss me off, and I don’t come out first with my opinions or don’t initiate a conversation about them if I feel that theirs are largely different and the conversation would probably not be very constructive. I don’t have any trouble with sharing my likes or dislikes or tastes even those very quirky ones, though I did for a long long time, I am very open about it, even if people look at me as if I’m crazy haha. Unless I’m around really extremely narrow-minded folks. . As for boundaries – well, that’s another thing. I do struggle with it. To a varying degree, depending with whom, and probably also depending on some other things, and things have improved over the last couple of years, but it is a struggle. I struggle with protecting my boundaries, as well as sort of defining them, I often feel confused about it and like I can’t evaluate fairly where they should be, so that I wouldn’t allow them for too much or get too paranoid or distant and push them away. It’s a bit complicated. I guess I could blame the AVPD thing for a lot of my boundaries problems as well.
  2. Do you have someone who holds all of your life’s secrets or do you keep everything to yourself? – A bit hard to say. I don’t have such a person who would hold literally all my secrets, I have quite a bunch of things that I would never tell anyone, or not all of it, but I think my Mum knows a lot of stuff about me that other people don’t. I’m also very open and honest on my blog and write about some things that I wouldn’t tell, or don’t normally talk about with people I know in real life. At the same time though, I still keep a lot to myself.
  3. What is the one quality you look for in a friend? – Hm… I guess the one I consciously look for is usually having some common ground – usually interests, but also experiences – I think it can make people feel closer to each other in some way. And I do have it with a lot of my online friends, but not all of them, and those who don’t have much in common with me in terms of interests or such are still my good friends. All of my friends though are very empathetic people, so I guess ultimately it could be empathy.
  4. What is the one quality you possess that you are most fond of in others? – Hm, how do I put it… An interesting brain… πŸ˜€ You know what I mean, don’t you?… Well I guess it doesn’t have to be obvious and sounds pretty odd, so if you don’t, what I mean is, I like intelligent, imaginative people, who have rich inner lives, who might be a bit quirky or at least able to think outside the box and be themselves… There’s way more that I could say about a person that I would classify as having an interesting brain, but that’s just the basics. It’s actually a group of qualities, but I see it kinda collectively.
    1. List five words you would use to describe yourself. Only five words. – Melancholic, individualistic, solitary, humourous, anxious (M. I. S. H. A. just needed some inspiration πŸ˜‰ ).

Mystery Blogger Award.

Hi people! πŸ™‚

I was nominated by the fantastic Astrid of

A Multitude Of Musings

for the Mystery Blogger Award! Thank you so very much, Astrid! 😍 Also thanks to

Okoto Enigma

for creating this award. Unfortunately I’m not going to put the award logo with this post as I have completely no idea how to do it.

Β Β  Rules:

 

  1. Put the award logo/image on your blog.
  2. List the rules.
  3. Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  4. Mention the creator of the award and provide a link as well.
  5. Answer the 5 questions you were asked.
  6. Tell your readers 3 things about yourself.
  7. You have to nominate 10-20 people.
  8. Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog.
  9. Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice; with one weird or funny question (specify).
  10. Share a link to your best post(s).

My answers to Astrid’s questions:

  1. What is your favorite color? – I can’t tell just one. Well I guess I love black the most, but I also love white, blue, green, grey, and some shades of silver, pretty equally.
  2. What is the biggest challenge you face right now? – I’ve been dealing with a lot of anxiety and rumination that I feel has worsened quite a bit over the last few months, especially the rumination part, and some changes in different areas of my life, not big, as in very much life-changing, but still significant, and with my fear of changes.
  3. Do you have any pets? – I have a 3.6-year-old Russian blue cat called Misha, who is the most mine. We also have a mixed-breed 1-year-old dog called Jocky who is particularly Zofijka’s, and we have some fish as well, which are mostly my Dad’s.
  4. (Weird/Funny) Would you want to be the opposite gender for a while if you could? – Meh, not really… Without any offense to the guys (it’s not my intend at all) I don’t think it could be particularly interesting or fun (for me) to be a guy.I think I’m happy being a woman, even though it has its fair share of downsides. That’s why I find it quite hard to personally relate to the issues transgender people face, and I feel it must be horribly daunting not to feel like you are the right gender. Haha, actually, thinking about this question reminded me about the time when I was a little girl, perhaps 6 or 7, and wanted to be a boy just because I wanted to be like my Dad and be named Jacek. πŸ˜€ I still love the name Jacek and will probably always will, but I wouldn’t like to be a Jacek myself. That just shows that while I’ve never seriously struggled with my gender identity, I had had real name issue since very early on, until I’ve become an Emilia to the world, and I’m glad that now it’s over. One true advantage of being an adult – you can legally change your name. πŸ˜€ Well, OK, perhaps I could be the opposite gender just for a little while, just to see what it’s like, sort of get a broader outlook on the world, understand men a little bit better, just like a kind of experience to learn something from it, that could be something interesting. But nothing that I’d genuinely want very much.
  5. What was your major in college? – I’m always sort of confused about the education system in the English-speaking countries. If we’re talking college as in the UK, like sixth form, after secondary school, I was doing a college for adults, on weekends. I was two years behind my peers, first year because that was just some sort of practice at the school for the blind where I was going to that people were starting a year later and were having a sort of preparation year the previous year, and the second time because of some sort of mishmash with my transition from the integration school back to the school for the blind, long and complicated and boring and irrelevant story. So by the time I was about to start college, I was already an adult and made a decision that it will be easier for me in an adult college. And there weren’t really any subjects we were supposed to choose to study more in depth, as majors, as it works in standard schools like that in Poland. We were all having the same classes from general subjects. However, in my last year, I sort of accidentally learnt that our majors formally were geography and history. But that was just a formality, apparently, and didn’t mean anything in practice. As for college as in America, so like almost a university, I didn’t go to college in that sense. After I did my finals at that school – which as my regular and loyal readers know was a painful process because of many things, but primarily emotionally, it turned out, quite as I expected, that I didn’t pass the math exam. Here, if you don’t pass one subject, in practical terms you don’t pass anything (even if you have 100% from two other exams as I did, haha). And, for reasons that I’ve previously written about on here, I decided not to rewrite that exam, perhaps just for now, perhaps not at all, we shall see.

3 things about me:

1. When I was a child, I wrote a book, consisting of quite a few smaller books, about creatures I made up that were called Parpills. They were black and red and fluffy, and the main character of my book, the Parpill called Parpillo, had loads of adventures. I still have my Parpill books, and the illustrations that one of my teachers made for me, and they’re so fun. I still love reading them sometimes, and so does Zofijka, because it’s all written both in Braille and in normal print, though she always laughs and says they’re freaky! 😭 I wonder why… πŸ˜‰

2. Apart from my languages, that I am talking all the time on my blog, I was learning German and Italian at some point as well. German was at school, and I do like it, just not love it as my languages, andI was decent at it but nothing more, and then I courageously tried to do something with it on my own too because I sort of felt I should, but lacked motivation terribly. I have to many languages for now, maybe later, but I’ll have to live a really long life to learn all my languages and then have time and space for some others. Italian was my generous attempt to help out Mum who wanted to learn this language, but she doesn’t speak English so doesn’t have that many resources as she would have learning through the medium of English, and she said she needed some help. It was one big shit and a failure for both of us! But oh well, I am just not a fan of Italian, too many people love it. I also speak some Kashubian and i am half Kashubian, but it’s not much and, perhaps it’s hypocritical of me, but I don’t feel much of a connection with this language, I don’t even truly like it, I definitely love Polish way more, even though Kashubian is an extincting language and I’m all for saving extincting languages.

I am an auditory-tactile and auditory-taste synaesthete, which I love, and have some other sensory quirks, and some that are a bit resembling of some kind of synaesthesia as well, but aren’t that exactly. I love my brain for that.

I nominate:

This time, anyone who feels like participating and would like to feel awarded. Feel free to join in, and let me know if you do. πŸ™‚

Β Β  My questions for you:

1. If you could choose any material thing in the world to have, but only one, what would you like to get?

2. What trait do you most dislike about yourself and do you think other people dislike it to, or is it just your opinion?

3. When was the last time you laughed really hard?

4. What typ(es) of situations are the most distressing for you?

5. Weird/funny, inspired by Astrid’s question and my Jacek quirk, if you were born the opposite gender and were given a chance to pick a name for yourself, how would you name yourself?

Β Β  The best post:

No idea if it’s really my “best post”, or if it’s objectively very good, guess it’s average, but I think, as for my debut short story in English, it was pretty good. But you’d have to judge, if you haven’t read it yet.

The Power Of Food And Music