Fay Wildhagen – “Life Of Pi”.

I would like to show you another song from the album “Borders” by Fay Wildhagen, which could be probably an album of the year 2018 for me if I wanted to nominate one. I think this song shows Fay’s full potential, and I just love to immerse in the sounds of this piece of music.

Stoicism

This is a very powerful post, to which I can hugely relate as someone constantly trying to unlarn bottling up emotions and living with consequences of doing so all the time for years. If you struggle with similar issues, I highly recommend you reading this. 🙂

New Beginnings

We all have a different reaction to pain.

Some of us react externally, such as jump in shock, scream, cry, or become enraged.

Some of us react, but rather internally than externally. Such as concealing the pain deep within the mind, making it appear as though they feel nothing on the outside but truly suffer inside.

Instead, the outside reaction might just be a smile. Or even nothing at all. Almost appearing as though they are immune to the pain inflicted upon them.

Maybe they want nobody to see them in pain. They wouldn’t want people to show any care for them so they can endure their suffering alone. As if nobody would be able to heal them.

Or perhaps they think people would view them as weak. A pathetic human that could never stand a chance through life. They want to eliminate the possibility of being embarrassed by hiding…

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Hey people! 😊

I’m still alive. Well I guess you don’t doubt this, as I’ve been reblogging some posts and commenting some of your posts, but I haven’t posted an actual post here in over a week and I’m really really sorry about that, I didn’t mean to definitely.

I’ve been ill with bronchitis since the weekend, I tend to get bronchitis inevitably every year sometime in autumn or winter and it’s somehow related to allergy and asthma, and that has made a bit of a chaos for me and I’m just behind on everything.

Tomorrow it’s probably going to be a busy day for me, busy and boring altogether, so I don’t know how quickly I’ll catch up on everything.

I just wanted to let you know that I’m still here, didn’t give up on blogging, and will now try to catch up on the song of the day posts a bit as I’ve intended to show you so many great songs, and if I’ll manage then I’ll post the question for today for you as well, and I hope I’ll be able to do some more longer writing later this week too, when I’ll feel better and get back on track with things.

Hope you are all doing well. 🙂

Question of the day.

And the actual question for today is…:

ANy drama happening in your life right now?

My answer:

I think we need to clarify what drama is, or at least I have to. ‘Cause I don’t really understand this concept in general I guess. Or do I? For me, drama is a lot of fuss, usually going on in a group of people, which is causing a lot of emotional distress for all interested and people acting impulsively and often like in a drama and sometimes even attention-seeking, but no one actually knows what it’s all about, but despite all that some people like to get into or cause dramas. Or anyway any drama that I have ever been witnessing or somehow involved in was hard to figure out for myself, what do they actually make suh a drama about? It might be that I’m just too socially awkward and stuff, or just not a drama type of person so I don’t get it. Or maybe I do get it right? What drama means for you?

Anyways, back to the drama, or lack thereof, in my life. 😀 So as you can guess now I think, no, I don’t think there is much going on in my life that I could call a drama, there are rarely such things, because I simply hate dramas and making fuss of anything, so I don’t involve in dramas usually, and if I ever have to witness such things it’s very disorienting and in a way also cringy. Unless there is a real and important cause for making drama of course, then it’s not cringy, but can also be disorienting, but I wonder if something like this still could be called a drama. THere are some intense things going on in my life, like now that I quitted therapy with my last therapist, and have been talking with Mum about very intense stuff and figuring out a lot about it on my own (I maybe could say that I have an internal drama because of that because it’s really really intense) and then there is my aunt who has been sick and just had surgery a couple days ago, but… yeah, I don’t know if such things could be called dramas, I think not really. Our Zofijka is in the “drama stage” of development, she’s in her early teens and also very extroverted, so I often do hear about her school dramas, which are very, veery weird and cringy, and I guess that’s all I can say on this very confusing topic.

So, how about dramas in your life? How would you define a drama in this context, do you see it the way I do? 🙂

3 Day Lyric Challenge – day one – Ider – You’ve Got Your Whole Life Ahead Of You Baby.

Finally I’m getting to do this challenge!

Over a month ago I was nominated by

Ghostmmnc

for Three Day Lyric Challenge. Thank you again so much.

However, as my loyal readers know, I was unable to write it for nearly the whole month of September because of my laptop being fixed.

And when I finally got it, I started to wonder, what to share with you guys as part of this challenge. ‘Cause, obviously, as you can easily see, I listen to a whole lot of music, and it often has very interesting lyrics imo. But so often it is in other languages! And there are so often no translations available! And often even if I know what the lyrics generally are about, I don’t feel competent enough to make a translation myself, especially that English isn’t my native language. And even English music that I listen to, is often so niche that you might not find any lyrics at times. SO yeah, that was a bit tricky. But finally, I’ve got some ideas. So here we go:

   Rules:

 

1 Thank the person who nominated you.

2 Share one of your favorite song/lyrics one at a time for three days.

3 Nominate three other bloggers each day.

So the song I have today for you is just sooo much about me right now! Because, just as the person speaking in this song, and just as those two girls of the band Ider, I’m in my twenties,and having more or less the same dilemmas.

Ider is an English band, consisting of two roommates from London, and they’re undoubtedly very talented girls, and having always very interesting and thought-provoking lyrics.

   Ider – “You’ve GOt Your Whole Life Ahead Of You, Baby” – lyrics.

[Verse 1]

I’m in my 20s

So I panic in every way

I’m so scared of the future

I keep missing today

How did you do it?

How did it turn out alright?

I swear it’s always easier back then

Or is it just hindsight?

 

[Chorus]

They keep telling me

“You’ve got your whole life ahead of you, baby

Don’t worry, don’t stress, do your best”

What if that doesn’t save me?

They say “If I could go back and do it again

I would’ve wasted all my money

Would’ve slept with all my friends” but you didn’t

‘Cause you had your whole life ahead of you, baby

 

[Verse 2]

I don’t dare shut my eyes

I don’t wanna miss a thing

I don’t wanna let you down

I don’t wanna disappoint me

I won’t stop looking at others

Thinking that’s where I should be

I’m trying to enjoy myself, love myself

Who the fuck is myself?

 

[Chorus]

But they keep telling me

“You’ve got your whole life ahead of you, baby

Don’t worry, don’t stress, do your best”

What if that doesn’t save me?

They say “If I could go back, if I was still young

I would’ve cared less, made more mistakes to learn from”

But you didn’t ’cause you had your whole life ahead of you, baby

 

[Bridge]

How did you make it work out? Don’t tell me you faked it

Should I be changing it now or am I too late?

Could just be me or maybe our generation

Still they say “Be patient, it’s all meant to be

You’ve got your whole life ahead of you, baby

You’ve got your whole life ahead of you, baby”

 

[Chorus]

They say “If I could go back and do it again

I would’ve wasted all my money

Would’ve slept with all my friends” but you didn’t

‘Cause you had your whole life ahead of you, baby

 

[Outro]

They say “If I could go back and do it again, do it again…”

They say “If I could go back and do it again…”

 

   My nominees:

Lauren at

A Gentlewoman And A Scholar,

Laura at

All The Shoes I Wear

and Astrid at

A Multitude Of Musings

Hope you will enjoy this song. 🙂

 

Ugh, again? Some general update and a little health ramble.

Today it would be a really nice day for me, if not the fact I’m feeling really crappy physically.
Remember when last week I was writing about my emotional crisis I had on my birthday? I wrote it can be partially due to PMS and now I am sure it was true. Only why I have to feel PMS symptoms for more than a week before the actual time of surfing the crimson wave? Luckily emotionally I am much more stable than then and I hope it’ll continue, ’cause that was scary.
But OK, I can fully understand that aunt Ruby or Flo or whatever is her name, has her own rights, but why my leg is not cooperative either? Seriously, I am starting to worry, or at least wonder.
I got a weird and pretty painful wound on my calf and what is the more weird about it that a year ago I had an almost exactly looking wound on my other calf. Same was two years ago on the same leg as now, but not exactly in the same place as now. And moreover as far as I remember it was also in February, ’cause it was close to my Dad’s name day and it was annoyingly hard to heal. I had no idea where I could get it, it was like totally out of no where, so that my Mum even thought it may be some ulcer, which scared me, but when I went to my GP with it, she said it’s just a form of infection. I remember that last year it finally healed in April. So now I think it must be something chronic and I think I’ll need to visit someone who could tell me more than my GP. I was even wondering ’cause people with diabetes have issues with skin regeneration and I am apparently at a higher risk ’cause I was taking growth hormone in childhood and people on the both sides of my family have diabetes, but because I was taking that hormone I have tests about once a year and they were as good as always recently. I really want to know, even just of curiosity, what it is. Plus it pisses me off. My leg is hurting so much since a few days that even walking for a longer distance is a bit challenging. I discovered that it’s back with me when I went shopping with my Mum on Tuesday and then we went for a longer walk almost around our whole town and when we came back my calf started to burn horribly.
And it is also shitty because yesterday I was meant to go horse riding. I didn’t ride for a really really long time now, since Christmas, I believe, so I fell out of the routine completely. But my instructor is a very busy person, she is not only a horse riding instructor and hypotherapist, but also a doctor – anasthesiologist and neurologist and recently also works on ER a lot. Plus she has her own, big family and it always surprises me how she can manage it all and before now I could ride pretty regularly once a week unless she had to go to ER. I like the fact that she is a neurologist ’cause we can talk a lot about the brain and related stuff which i always appreciate, I’ve learnt a lot from her and it is thanks to her that I realised that if I could see, I would most probably end up as a brain surgeon. Anyway, back to my horse riding, she texted me on Wednesday evening she finally was able to schedule an hour on Thursday for me and asked me whether I’d like to go. It hurt me but I felt so excited that I impulsively wrote that yes sure I will come, but yesterday morning the pain was big enough that I realised it won’t be anything neither pleaasant nor beneficial if I went riding, I could easily make it hurt even more and I wouldn’t do a good job ’cause even my muscles around the wound were hurting.
I find life much more boring without riding. As for now I use Rivanol and tea tree oil to treat it but surely will end up on antibiotic as last year, I just didn’t go to any doctor yet.
Tomorrow is my Dad name day. You know what name day is? I know there are only a few countries now which celebrate it so if you don’t know, it’s basically the day when your patron saint has his/her feast. It’s a purely Christian tradition but now it’s celebrated just like your second birthday or something. Just another opportunity to eat as much as possible and have your family gathered together. There are all name days listed in Polish calendars, although they differ slightly and you probably won’t find exactly the same names under the same dates in two different calendars, but there are some conventional dates. Tomorrow is the name day of Elwira, Jacek, Jacenty and Scholastyka and therefore my Dad who is Jacek (or Hyacinth in English) is having his name day. It’s a bit weird to me though because saint Hyacinth who has his feast day tomorrow is almost unknown while we have another saint Hyacinth who was Polish and whose feast day is celebrated in August and he is much more known, so if I was my Dad, I would pick my name day to be in August on that other saint Hyacinth’s day, but I think it doesn’t matter that much for most people.
So tomorrow we will have even bigger family gathering than it was on my birthday and there will also be my Dad’s friends and I hope I won’t have to endure another emotional crisis. My poor Mum is in the kitchen almost all day long. She isn’t preparing that much food, but my Dad will have a big toffi cake. Ridiculous, because he can’t stand anything sweet. 😀 But we love toffi cake. Me, Zofijka, Olek and my Mum kind of likes it as well. And I am sure all the guests will be happy with it too. Toffi is such a delicious thing to eat. Will share with you tomorrow lol.
Now I am listening to Welsh music all the time, as it is Welsh Language Music Day today, so I definitely need to celebrate it. I’ve also learnt some Welsh today. But now I think I will go and nap for a while, ’cause my leg is hurting, my abdomen is hurting, my head is hurting and I feel quite miserable physically.
How are you guys doing? Any nice plans for the weekend? Maybe you’re celebrating something as well? Anyway, whatever you’re doing, I wish you a great weekend.