How could I know?!

Hhrrru? 😻

Misha here. Does anyone else out there like salt?… Well, as you’ve probably gathered, I do. But now I have bittersweet associations with salt. I know lots of foods are salted, but today I got to taste salt on its own. And the peeps are having a go at me because of that. I feel very hurt today because of that.

I tried to be the best Mish I could possibly be in the morning, and purr very loudly, and I was in a very good mood. Then, my peeps disappeared somewhere for hours and I was left on my own. I was very bored, and not particularly sleepy, and just wanted to do something. I could tell there was something different in the kitchen. It was on the kitchen table. I came closer to see what was different. And it was a little bowl. A bit like the ones I eat from. But the thing that was in it didn’t smell very yummy and looked kinda weird. I climbed on the table (good that my human Daddy wasn’t around) I was just so very intrigued what it is) and I dipped my paw in it. They were some weird, tiny, white grains, that felt very similar to the gravel in my loo? “Did they move my loo to the kitchen? Why? Why didn’t they tell me earlier?”, I was wondering, very surprised and a bit worried. But then I brightened up a lot. It would be actually much better to have the loo in the kitchen. I had my loo in the peeps’ bathroom and sometimes they still forget that I am here and too have physical needs from time to time and can’t open the doors because they didn’t feel like it was necessary to teach me, and they sometimes just close the door to the loo after they go out, egoists! And our kitchen is open plan, so no one can close it from me. This new loo looked just a little bit weird. They didn’t let me to jump on the tables and now they even let me poop and pee there, can you imagine this?! Yeah, it was hard to comprehend for me too… And it didn’t quite allow for much privacy, it was just a bowl, and quite a small one. Well, if they want so… It actually felt like a bit of an adventure to me, and I decided to test how it would work for me before they come home, felt like a good opportunity. I started to kneat the gravel with my paws, and the bowl turned out way too small for my needs. Well, small I might be, but I’m not that small – I thought. – The gravel started to spill out on to the table. Next time they’ll know I need something bigger.It was really hard to find a suitable place to pee in at such a small space, so I was growing a little bit impatient. I was also very intrigued about the whole thing. I liked the texture under my paws, and the nice sounds it was making. I liked this new gravel very much! Finally, feeling more and more in need of relieving myself, I pressed on the bowl with one of my paws more strongly, and suddenly it danced around on the table and everything, just everything spilled out on the table. Oh well, at least that’ll learn my peeps something about my size, I can’t do my thing in a kitten’s loo. I was a bit worried because, honestly, that didn’t really look like something my peeps would approve of, but now I needed to pee really badly. Now with all of the gravel being out, I could do it easily. Uh oh! What a mess! Mummy’s certainly not going to like it. I covered up my wee neatly, the least I could do, and jumped off quickly and went to the living room to clean myself in peace and quiet. As I went through the house, I could feel that the gravel was still on my paws and making crunching noises, and it was all over the floor. I laid on my personal pouf. I started off my cleaning routine, and when I was licking my paws, I noticed that they taste really nicely. I licked that yummy taste off. And then after I cleaned myself thoroughly I quietly fell asleep.

I could hear the peeps coming back so I already went in to the hall to welcome them and calm them down as effectively as possible before they could potentially get mad at me – something was telling me I didn’t do the right thing with that loo thing. – “Hey Misha!” – Mum called –
“Oh, you’re waiting for us, you’re so sweet!”. She came into the house and then to the kitchen, and her tone of voice changed immediately and she wasn’t nice at all anymore. She cried: “Oh no! What have you done, you idiot?!”. Ehh, I knew something was wrong, but what? So Zofijka and Mila came in to see what was going on and they were both gasping in horror and screaming.

From their chaotic talk, I learned that that “gravel” was salt! And that Mum put it on the table, but she said she’ll never do this again, because Misha is so stupid. But, I ask you, how could I know it was salt?! I don’t have much to do with salt in my life, I never cared how salt looks like. I just wanted to pee and there was such a nice place to do that, so I did! I feel so very hurt. They all say I am stupid and messy. I know well that neither of those things is true, because I am very very clever, and I am not messy at all, even they always say it –
“Misha is so clean! He never damages anything, even if he is curious! He’s so gentle and careful with everything!”. – Because I am! And now, just one incident happened, and I am suddenly stupid and messy Misha and the worst Misha in the world. They are the most malicious and self-centered creatures in the world! All humans are so grossly self-centered, they can only and always see things their way. They won’t even try to see it how I see it, because Misha is just stupid and messy. And Zofijka calls me names. She calls me an idiot, and “the salt king”, and constantly makes allusions about salt when I am around, or tells me that I should work in a salt mine and such. It’s so damn annoying. You can’t make even one mistake that they wouldn’t remind you about all the time.

Well, I think I’ll just go to sleep and hope that today will be somewhat better.

How was your day today, pets and peeps? What do you do to comfort yourselves when someone hurts you?

Mishpurrs. 💜 💚 💙

Sad Misha

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Everyone’s coming and going, but I can’t. :(

Hhrrru? 😻

It’s Misha and I’m sad. I like being alone, but not lonely. And in last couple of weeks I’ve been feeling lonely a lot. I so hope it will end soon, or that I will be able to have some adventures too. The peeps are having them all the time! Everyone’s coming and going somewhere all the time. Last week, I haven’t seen Zofijka almost at all. And then suddenly everyone was gone, I only saw Olek a few times and he gave me some food, but only very little, not as much as Mum or Mila gives me, I guess he doesn’t know how much I eat. I was so terribly bored. Then they came back – that is Mum, Dad and Mila – and were very happy to see me but the next day when I woke up Mum and Dad weren’t there again, so I guess it was just pretended. I hate lying people. I never lie! It’s only people that do it, and that’s why, while I love my peeps, I also think humans are the worst and strangest species in the world. I wish they were felines like me, at least they wouldn’t be so cocky all the time. But I was a brave Misha and I didn’t cry, and at least then Mila was with me so I spent a lot of time with her, and I had a lot of treats. But I felt very sad and a bit rejected anyway, because they could go anywhere they wanted and I can’t even leave the house for a minute because then there’s one big drama. The next day Zofijka came, but this week still they are almost constantly out of the house. I guess that’s what they call holidays. So why can’t I have my holidays too? I really hope those holidays will end soon, or that they will take me at least on the terrace so I can smell the fresh air. I love the smell of fresh air, do you? And I love the smell of flowers. I only dislike the smell of other cats, and sometimes I can feel it when they do let me out for a little while.

Have you been on holidays, pets and peeps? Or if you pets aren’t going anywhere like me, how do you deal with it? Are you sad about it or is it normal for you and you don’t care, or perhaps you even like it this way? What do you do when your peeps leave you?

It’s so very sunny today, I would really like to go out. Maybe if I’ll go for a walk around the house and cry long enough at ever window I’ll piss them off enough to let me out. Mum and Dad have just come back from wherever they were. I’ve heard that even Jocky decided to go on holidays and ran away. (sigh) The world is so unfair! Just wait until the Feline Era comes!

Mishpurrs. 🙂

Misha 💜 💚 💙

A day of sleep.

Hhrrru? 😻

How are you pets and peeps doing? 🙂 Did you sleep well last night, whenever it was for you? I did, very well. I slept on Mila’s bed. I was very tired before going to sleep, I played a lot with a rubber band, running with it around the house and playing with peeps. I slept for many hours and woke up when already some of the peeps were up and having their breakfast. I had mine too. But I didn’t eat much today. I haven’t been feeling too well recently. That’s of course not a reason for me not to eat, but it is for my peeps. They’ve been very worried because I get sick a lot and throw up almost everything that I eat, even my Mish food and chicken breasts. But what can I do about it? It’s not my fault I guess, is it? SO why do they punish me for this?! They give me very little food and say that there are no treats at all, so I am wondering whether it’s true and they’re too lazy to drag all of their four legs out of the house and get me some or if they just don’t want to give them to me. Really, I should think about learning how to open the cupboards years ago, then I would know what the truth is, but I’m afraid I’m too old to master it now. But I also didn’t eat much today for another reason as well. It’s been a quiet day and all the peeps have been out for a large part of the day, so I just slept it through. It was very pleasant. I had so many beautiful dreams, with lots of chicken breasts, and Mish snacks, cans of tuna, Mish ice cream, kefir and all, everything smelled so heavenly! Just shows how obsessed with food I am, but I’m too obsessed to even care, I love my obsession, especially that, so far, it doesn’t even make me fat. And just dreaming of food will never make you fat, so that’s even better. I love such long, quiet days, when I can just go to sleep somewhere and sleep through long hours, just waking up for a second once in a long while to stretch or turn to the other side. Wonder what I’m gonna do at night, but if it’ll be boring and not much interesting food in sight, I can always go back to sleep.

So, how did you sleep last night? Any cool dreams? Let me know. 🙂

Misha 💜 💚 💙

What’s up pets and peeps it’s MISHA!!!

Hhrrru?! 😻

How are you pets and peeps doing? It’s Misha and I just woke up from a long, long nap and am full of beans and very energetic. I probably won’t write much ’cause there are so many other things to do and my paws itch for a good run but just wanted to tell you that I am very happy because Zofijka’s just come back from her holidays! She went away for a week, and today she came back and at least something is going on in this house, it was like a graveyard without her and I was just sleeping and sleeping. The sad thing is that she doesn’t seem to be very interested in me. Mila says that she just has a lot of things to do and a lot of things to catch up on but I am worried that now she likes that other cat – Flocky – more than me. Flocky is their aunt’s cat and he’s also a Russian blue and apparently he’s my relative or something, but I’ve never met him. And Zofijka has been talking about him a lot. It drives me crazy. I just hope she’ll soon forget about him. And I am also a bit sad because she says she’ll be going away in two weeks again. But she’s very happy about it so maybe I should be happy too. After all, it can be really good too when Zofijka is not around. You can relax properly. Sleep more. Be less paranoid that someone’s lurking there waiting for you to come closer just to scoop you up and get into her noisy room and squeal “Miiiisha cuuute Miiisha!” in your ears. Oh yeah and there’s much less noise which is good, but, like I said, not for too long, as it starts feeling odd. I guess the peeps felt a bit odd too.

Has something nice happened to you this week? Any plans for the weekend? Are you gonna do something interesting with your peep(s), or with your pet(s) if you’re a peep? 🙂

Off to have a race with Zofijka.

Mishpurrs.

Misha 💜 💙 💚

They finally got it.

Hhrrru? 😻

Misha here. Guess what? My sluggish peeps are starting to think. After 3 years of me living with them. How do I know that? Because they’ve JUST started to come to terms with the fact that I understand more than tey think I do. What a truly shocking discovery, isn’t it?!

One evening I was doing my own business and suddenly heard Mila calling me. I could hear her well and was actually quite close to her but chose to ignore her until I’ll find out that it’s worth my effort to come to her. So she went to Mum’s room and asked Mum if I was there. Mum told her where I was and Mila was calling me all the time so I knew it was something big. And Mum also called me mish mish mish so I didn’t know where to go, but finally followed Mila as she was going downstairs and it looked like she wanted to show me something and I grew more and more interested. And Mum was like: “Wow, he understands that you call him, and where you want him to go!”. Like, wow, really, do I? Wasn’t that quite obvious? No one else in this house is called “mish mish mish”, and if she was going downstairs, obviously she wanted me to follow her and not go in the opposite direction, right? It’s disgracing that they think I am such a total blockhead! And then at the end of the stairs I could feel what was the reason for Mila calling me, I felt a very nice smell from the kitchen, it was yummy yummy fish. I love eating fish. And Dad was having some for supper and was keen to share with me. It was so so yummy. As I ate, I could hear Mila coming back to Mum’s and saying: “He probably understands even more than just that, far more than we realise”. What a spectacular discovery! My peeps are learning new things! Yay for the human race! 😻 No I am not sarcastic at all, I don’t even know how to be sarcastic, I am just a poor kitty who doesn’t even know what they want from me and the only word I understand inhuman language is “Miiiiishaaaaaaaa!!!”. I am 3 years old but have no wits and need to be treated like a 3-month-old baby, because I am just so helpless and feeble-minded, wonder how they’d even managed to toilet train me hahahaha.

But OK, let’s be serious. Of course I understand more than they think I do. I maybe don’t get all of their stupid things because I’m not into that and don’t care, but if something is about me, you can be sure I understand. I tell you that though only because you don’t live under the same roof as me, because – as many other cats probably do too – I find that pretending to be silly and ignoring what’s going on around can really pay off at times and it actually shows how clever you are because making a choice whether you want to hide something or let others know about it also requires some thinking and decision making skills, if not anything else. And they can’t blame me because they do just the same! Even today, I came to Mila’s room, and she picked me up (even though she certainly knows I hate it, but OK, sometimes you have to compromise), and then put me to sleep, but I got up again and stood on her knees and looked very emphatically at the drawer where she keeps my treats, and wagged my tail in its direction so that she could know what I mean. And I know that she got it, but didn’t do anything, just stroking me as if she didn’t notice anything, while I was starving! It’s the same with all of them, so they can’t blame me.

Do you, other pets out there, also prefer not to disclose how much you actually understand? And you peeps out there? Be honest! Honesty is so rare in this world.

Mishpurrs.

Misha 💙 💚 💜

I want out.

Hhrrru? 😻

It’s me Misha. I’m in a very agitated and adventurous mood recently. Because I can feel spring in the air. My peeps were so silly and thought that I don’t think about it anymore, but I do, I can feel the sun when I sit on the windowsill, I can hear seagulls calling me and laughing at me that I can’t be out as they can (I never liked seagulls, they’re so stupid and shouty). And Jocky is outside, he can play and do whatever he wants but I can’t. It’s not fair, is it? But no one understands me. I would like to be out and have some nice adventures, catch something and show them stupid peeps how clever I am, or go somewhere that I’ve never been yet.

Mum is constantly saying that I need to be patient and that soon there will be net on the terrace and then I can be there and sunbathe how much I want, even all days. But I don’t want the net. I don’t want to just “sunbathe”. I want to climb up out on the roof, or go to the garden, and when they’ll put the net in there I won’t be able to do that. And there are no nice things to observe. No birds are flying there, no nice views. It’s boring. I’m not a fricken old guy who will just sit in the sun, I’m an up and doing kinda guy. Well OK, I do like the sun, and my sleep, and lazing around, but winter’s for it, not spring. They are so ignorant and think that everyone is just like them.

I thiNK I am a frustrated Misha today.

Oh but I have a good news for you today too. A few days ago I’ve got a lovely present from my Daddy. I really like my human Daddy, when he comes near me, I always throw myself to the floor and want him to stroke me. He strokes me so strongly, not so delicately like Mum or Mila or Zofijka. He strokes me all over my spine and it’s so pleasant that I don’t know what to do, it’s so pleasant that it’s unpleasant, or maybe the other way around, I don’t know, my mind goes crazy, but nicely crazy, as when I feel the catnip, it’s the same kinda feeling. But Daddy likes me only a bit, so that’s why I like him even more. I don’t like it when someone is too nice for me and likes me too much and wants something from me all the time. I’d rather someone be a bit unpleasant to me than too nice. And Daddy often likes to pretend that he doesn’t see me, and when he does see me, it’s only when I want him to stroke me, or when I am behaving badly, like jumping on the table for example or constantly begging him for food or when my poop is too smelly or something. So he almost constantly nags at me, but I don’t care, he’s just like this, if he wouldn’t be grumpy he wouldn’t be alive. But sometimes, Daddy also makes me very nice presents. Usually because Mum wants him to. Like he made the scratchboard for me, and a couple other things.

But this present that I’ve got from him now, I got from him because he wanted it, not Mummy. It’s a beautiful cartboard box. It has sort of dimples in it, because it’s an apple box. But now it’s a Misha box. I love lying in there, it makes me so happy. I love to rub myself at those dimples, I really like this box. I always go there when I feel sad that I can’t go out and I feel so nice there. It’s my favourite place of the year I think. It stinks that Daddy’s away now, he’s been away for almost the whole week, so most of the time I’m the only man in the household, as Olek is at work too. I’m glad that I got this nice present from Daddy.

And when will they bring me flowers? Misha’s ponderings on his gender identity, dietary preferences and having hope in humanity.

Hhrrru? 😻

Misha here, if you haven’t figured it out yet. Today is International Women’s Day so I’d like to wish all of you women out there a very happy day. Well it’s ending here, but I just hope it was happy for you. Zofijka says that on 10th March men have their special day and then September 30th is for boys to celebrate. And that presented me with a very serious dilemma… Who am I? Am I a man or a boy? I think I am a man, because I am strong, can catch and kill flies and spiders and all the meat you know so that the women won’t panic, I’m their hero, they say I’m handsome and Mila and Zofijka like to sleep with me. I am 3 years old which is 30 for humans. I am very intelligent and serious and brave and know a lot of things about humans that they don’t even know and even more about cats. But then they always call me “cute boy”, “little boy”, “cheeky boy” and so on and so forth as to suggest that I am a child, a boy. Only a boy. They say how small I am, make all the decisions for me and treat me like a baby. Sometimes I like it, because I get all I want and they like me so much because I’m so cute, I can pulate people to get what I want, they say I am a real pulator because I don’t say anything yet everyone is doing what I want them to do, and that’s apparently pulative. Or however they call it. but sometimes it drives me crazy though when they treat me like a baby, and I hate being so small sometimes. Then there are people who think I am a girl: “Oh God, isn’t she such a lovely kitty?!”. Why does everyone think Misha is a girl’s name only when it’s originally for guys? Well Mila says so but I believe her. I hate being called “she”, I am not a Michelle! My peeps hate it too though so they always defend me. I remember that when I went to the vet and they removed my bits the vet said jokingly to Zofijka: “So now, your cat is no longer a he, it’s an it”. I was mad at him. But luckily my peeps don’t think so, that wasn’t funny at all, I’m not a thing. If I were feeling better then, I would scratch him, but I was too dizzy and wobbly. Luckily I didn’t have to see him again.

Can I be both a man and a boy or do I have to choose one? Or can I choose anything at all? Or maybe it’s just all up to me who I want to be, I just need to pulate others to believe it too? Maybe it’s only reserved for humans and I have to be just a cat. But being a man or a woman must be so fun, you can have another special day for yourself. While I have only two, my birthday and World Cat Day. When is World Human day, by the way, does anyone know? And there’s yet another aspect of those men’s and women’s days. You get flowers! Well, at least women seem to do. I guess men don’t like flowers for some reason, which is a shame, because they smell so nice and you can bite in them, in their leaves, or pick them, and it’s so much fun, I love it. They probably just don’t know what’s really good. I love flowers though, so, it’s so unfair that I don’t get them! I’ve never got flowers! From anyone! Even a single, tiniest flower! It’s so sad. i live in this world for three years and they’ve never found a good enough occasion to give me a flower. Moreover,if someone gets them, they are jealous! I come close to relish the smell, the fresh taste of leaves, or the earthy taste of the water in the flowerpot, and they shout at me: “misha! Go away from there! It’s not for you! Are you a herbivore or what?!”. So what if I am? They can eat anything, even some awfully smelling, greasy stuff that they call fries that makes the whole kitchen more smelly than my litter box, and no one tells them off. And they tell me off just because they think I should eat meat. I tell you, they’re just jealous about their flowers. I bet that when I can’t see they do the same and bite into them, just don’t want to share with me! But if they got me my own flowers, there won’t be any problem. I’d have my own flowers and wouldn’t share with them, and they’d have their own and I wouldn’t care, there would be peace. Even if I broke my pot, it would be mine so they wouldn’t have to care. The bad thing is that when I sometimes get too absorbed with flowers and eat too much of this delicacy when no one sees I get sick, but, to me, that’s a very small price.

I am generally an optimist though, and always like to be hopeful. Dad was going out somewhere in the morning, and then I saw him coming back with bunches of flowers. My heart was jumping up high with excitement as I awaited, that, maybe this time, I’ll get my very own flowers. At least a little, very little one flower. They smelled so stunningly and sweetly, they were hyacinths. But there were none for me. There is such a Polish proverb that hope is the mother of fools, it seems to be very right. But I told myself that maybe not all is lost. After a few hours, the door bell rang. It was Mila’s and Zofijka’s uncle stopping by, and again, I could feel the smell of flowers, and my heart jumping cheerfully. I deluded myself that because Mum and Zofijka were out, maybe one bunch of these tulips will be for me. But nope. Not happening. Stupid jerks. And as if it wasn’t enough, Olek came back from work a few hours ago with roses. I didn’t know that, I was sleeping deeply when he came, dreaming about pots full of hyacinths and tulips and fresh water and a kind human being encouraging me: “Misha, don’t be so shy, it’s for you, why won’t you take a sip of water to see how it tastes?”. After I woke up, I went to Mila’s room and saw that she had a pot with roses on her desk. I came closer very gently not wanting to knock them over, and Mila shouted at me that I’m a very naughty and stupid Misha and should stop sniffing all the flowers in the house like a freak, and took me away from them.

So, I guess I should give up all my hope. But, I am hopeful, that maybe on the 10th, maybe, just maybe, I’ll wake up to see a bunch of flowers only for me Misha.

Best Mishes to all of you lovely pets and peeps.

Misha. 💜 💙 💚