Question of the day.

Today is a good day for…

My answer:

Changes. Well, for me there’s never a good time for changes, but sometimes you just have to make some, especially if they are supposed to help, so it’s better to do it on a day that is good for changes, than one that is worse. The major change in my and my family’s life that just happened today is that Sasha is gone. You see, he’d had a lot of stress living here with us, it wasn’t just Misha who was having trouble adjusting. It turned out that was the reason of his constant pooing everywhere besides his litterbox, and some other behaviours, despite that overall he was the most cheerful and outgoing, snuggly and purry kitten you could’ve ever met. He was stressed because Misha was constantly observing him, and rejecting him whenever he wanted to play. And there couldn’t be a more different cat from Sasha than Misha. Plus, even the start of this whole adventure was wrong, because my Mum courageously decided to let Sasha meet Misha on the first day of his stay with us, despite the breeder said otherwise, I was telling her to wait, and despite it’s normal that cats are separated from each other at the beginning and then slowly introduced. She thought Misha is so quiet that he surely won’t be aggressive or anything. Maybe he wasn’t, but it’s not only about aggressiveness.

Unfortunately, my Mum is often very impulsive, even the decision of taking another cat was very impulsive, before we took Sasha, as you may know from my earlier posts, she was changing her mind every day or so as for whether to take another cat, a dog, or nothing. We were all making jokes about her and her changeability, though she didn’t seem to care. Now she really regrets her decisions, though it can’t help Sasha, so after trying to somehow improve things better, we decided to find a new home for him.

The critical point was yesterday when in the morning he was looking very sick, barely moving or anything, not eating, not drinking, not purring.

Mum took him to the vet and he said all is OK, so it has to be huge stress. They decided to take advantage of the situation that he hasn’t eaten and sterilise him, so that his new carer wouldn’t have to worry about it. And another Russian blues’ breeder whom my Mum knows very well, not the one from whom we have Misha and Sasha, she offered Mum to help find a new carer, and today a family came to us and just a while ago took him with them. I wasn’t able to be there and even say goodbye to him, I didn’t see those people, but my Mum says they’re really nice, that it seemed to be an artistic family. Apparently the woman writes books for children about cats, and the girl – for whom Sasha was bought – is in art college, and made a particularly nice impression on Mum. And apparently she’s Gemini! (just like Sasha, and just like Zofijka, who seemed to be Sasha’s soulmate from the very first day, so hopefully he’ll find another one in this girl, though my Mum described her as very calm, or something like that, which neither Sasha, nor the more Zofijka, isn’t). Mum said that they were absolutely amazed with Sasha and loved him immediately, and his neverending purrs. Apparently when they were leaving, Sasha was looking at Mum with such confusion. We all feel very sad right now. My Mum was utterly stressed out yesterday and I could hear her a couple times crying in the laundry where Sasha was lying sick, and poor Zofijka was sobbing a lot, now she’s calmer, because she has to have maths, ew! But I can’t cry. I would really like to, but I can’t. That’s quite normal for me though. I just miss him so much. I’ve always been much more attached to Misha, and getting along with him much better, I often felt very annoyed with sasha and his baby-like behaviours, but I loved him. I still do so much! And he is so different from Misha. It makes me feel so sad when I think that I’ll never ever hear those loud purrs anymore, Misha barely purrs, and his purrs seem to be more for himself, to soothe him and calm him down, rather than a result of contentment or feeling of pleasure, because Misha tends to purr when he’s anxious, and it is a very silent purr. Isn’t that weird, by the way? It was a cause of misunderstanding between him and us, particularly Zofijka, for a long time, because how can he not like something, or not feel OK when he purrs? But it was visible that he wasn’t OK at those moments, and one day I read somewhere that some cats just always purr very silently, and some tend to purr when they’re distressed.

We had our special plays with Sasha, for example when I lied in bed and moved my feet under the cover, he always jumped at the bed and tried to catch them, and then patted them gently or sometimes scratched a bit, as if he tried to tickle me haha. Then he always lied down on my feet, when he got tired, and before he did it, he always had to make a nice little den for himself on the blanket, and kneated it and my feet with his little paws. I’ve never had a better feet massage hahaha. It makes me feel so sad that I’ll never be able to play with him again. Misha is too serious for playing, mostly.

But at the same time we’re very happy because finally Sasha got a chance for a new, happy life, where he won’t be stressed and rejected, where he will have plenty of love and affection and cuddles and won’t have to compete with any other cat. Those people have a dog, but a dog is a different thing than another cat, plus IT is apparently mostly outside. I am really looking forward to hearing some news as for how Sasha is settling in. It feels so empty without him, even though there is Zofijka (who always makes an impression as if any place she’s in was full of uproarious, hyperactive children πŸ˜€ ), my Mum, and Zofijka’s math tutor, and Misha sleeping in Zofijka’s room. But when you get used to someone, it always feels empty when they’re not where they should be, doesn’t it?

OK, so how about you? What is a good day today for in your opinion? And did you have any changes in your life today? πŸ™‚

I’m back!!!! A little ramble.

HEY HI PEOPLE!!!!

How have you been doing? πŸ™‚

Yes! Fortunately, or not, depends on who you’d ask, I’m still alive. I’m sorry I’ve been MIA for so freakin’long, but, if I’m honest, there was little to no influence I had on it. As you probably know from my earlier posts, my laptop got screwed up, I guess it wasn’t anything major, but I wasn’t even able to use my screen-reader, so it needed to be fixed, and also it’s just plain old so it needed some refresh in general. It wouldn’t last so long if I’d send it right away to the company I finally sent it to, they’re a company mostly distributing specialised equipment for the blind across the country, but they also do servicing sometimes. I sent my previous laptop to them and they did a brilliant job. But before I sent this one to them, I tried with my local IT specialist, who doesn’t have a clue about screen-readers nor anything typhlo it-related, but I hoped he’ll be able to fix it. He wasn’t. And then when I finally decided to send it to that company, there even were issues with the post office, so the actual fixing was the shortest of all that.

It was so frustrating to me, and I was bored to death. Also wasn’t doing well mentally with very very high anxiety and quite a huge mood dip, which I’m still not fully out of.

Maybe you remember I wastrying to blog from my Braille-Sense, but it turned out to be not a good idea, because it was freezing so often it was way too arduous, especially when it was freezing so badly that I had to reboot it and write stuff from the beginning.

I’ve got a new keyboard to my laptop – as well as some other new stuff and while it’s good, I find it a bit hard to get used to all the changes – I actually never had any problems with my old keyboard and it was just fine, but the guy who serviced my laptop suggested I’d rather get a new keyboard because in his opinion it’s getting old and uncomfortable. This new one’s pretty cool, although I guess the Space key is somewhat sluggish or I’m just typing too fast or too gently, or maybe it just needs time, anyway if you’d see some words without spaces you now know why, sorry, I’ll try to reduce it but I may not notice everything.

So to finally step away from the IT, I’d like to update you on two little things, that in fact are pretty big and new to my life.

First thing is sad, or actually part of it is very, very sad. This week I had therapy on Monday – I now have it on Mondays, not Fridays – and after that as we were riding back home, we drove past the stud where I’d been horse riding, but havent’ for like half a year or even longer, at first because of some health issues I had myself, then exams, and then my tutor being busy and – as it turned out, having financial and other issues, hence she didn’t get in touch with us for so long. So Mum said maybe we’d look for her and ask what’s going on, if something happened, ’cause you never know, maybe she lost our phone or just waits for us to contact her… I agreed it is a good idea and she just went on her own to look for her and Mum told me she – my riding instructor – was kinda emotional, she was telling her about the issues they’re having, looking quite miserable, which just astonished me so much, because she’s always such a dynamic, spontaneous and lively person. And Mum asked her whether then there is any possibility I could get back to riding at her’s, because it’s highly unlikely we could find someone as versatile and knowledgeable as her. And she then bursted with tears, as my Mum said, which is even more not like her. And she told Mum that my horse, I mean my regular horse on which I was riding most often, and for longest – he died… From what she said it had to be a while ago, but she still can’t get over it, neither can I, although somewhere in the back of my head I had a creepy suspicion that that might be the reason why she isn’t contacting us. My Mum told her something scary, that for me it doesn’t matter on which horse I ride, I just want to stay in her stud. I mean yes, I still want to ride despite my lovely “little” horse died, but it sounded so insensitive to me when Mum repeated it to me, as if I wouldn’t care at all. I do a lot, and can’t accept it either. My Mum didn’t intend to say anything bad though, she just doesn’t realise how you can have the bond with a horse, she’s afraid of them and doesn’t understand them at all. I’m only glad that ŁoΕ› didn’t have any particular illness that killed him, he was just very, very old, although when I last saw him he had bronchitis and I was scared it was that and that he could live even a little longer if not that. But luckily it wasn’t bronchitis. I so regret I couldn’t even say goodbye to him. I kinda feel like some little part of my soul has died, only a little one thankfully, because we weren’t always training regularly, and it was only an hour a week, nevertheless a very important part, and i feel weird without it, thinking I’ll never see him again. 😦 It made me think a lot about Misha, and what will I do if he dies. That would be so scary if I left him. And I think a lot about my instructor, she was so bonded with him, they were like one, they knew each other so well and trusted one another so much that it was visible even to me. NO wonder she’s devastated. 😦

And another news is good, I suppose, we’ll see what comes out of it long term. We have a new family member. A new friend for Misha. A first real life animal friend for Misha. It’s another Russian blue, he’s not even 4 months old, it’s his first day with us, and his name is Sasha. He’s a complete opposite from Misha. He’s very very cuddly, purring very loudly, while Misha’s purr is rarely heard if you don’t lie very close and tight to him, and he’s very brave. He’s already adapted I suppose. And it’s just a day. In Misha’s case, he didn’t let anyone come closer to himfor a day, and meowed desperately and heartbreakingly for like two weeks I guess. And my Mum says he’s never fully adapted, as he’s still so timid and incredibly anxious and would rather be alone. I just think it’s the way he is, and he wouldn’t change anywhere.

We – me and Zofijka – saw an interesting relationship between our cats and us two. You see – Misha is officially my cat, because it is me who is his actual owner and buyer. Unofficially, he used to be mine and Zofijka’s, so that she wouldn’tbe jealous, though of course everyone here likes Misha at least a bit, gives him snacks so in practice he’s the cat of all of us obviously. Now though as Sasha is with us, he’s a bit more Zofijka’s than anybody else’s, just like Misha is a bit more mine. And here’s what we saw.

Me and Misha are incredibly similar to each other, and now it turns out so are Zofijka and Sasha are too very similar personalities. There has to be something true in what my Mum says that the cat is just like it’s owner. πŸ˜€

We – me and Misha – are both Aquariuses, to begin with, his birthday is just two days before mine, we’re both loners, tend to be anxious and avoid other beings than each other and some safe people, but practically I don’t know if we haveany really completely safe people, there’s always risk involved, right? We both like and want to be close with others in theory, but in practice it’s way too scary to even try so we run away before we even can be touched, unless there are some special circumstances. We both HATE strangers and spend hours isolated from the world after a major stress. We’re both sensitive, we both hate noises and being completely lonely without anyone else in theΒ  house. We’d rather be with someone, but a proper distance needs to be kept, usually. We are both night owls. We both have quite acute senses, though in Misha’s case it’s more visible, however I don’t know how much of it is his own trait and how much is just because he’s a cat, and a Russian blue, still, he’s very alert and acts a bit as if he was overstimulated sometimes and then he either retreats or gets kinda elated. We both are curious and like to observe our surroundings carefully, but again, preferably from some distance, as it makes for a much better view. We both can walk very quietly (well unless there isn’t anything unexpected standing somewhere on the way, as for me πŸ˜€ ) which is useful for the above mentioned observing surroundings, even though neither of us intends to “slink” really, and is funny sometimes because people are deaf and dont’ hear us so they get scared as if we were ghosts. We both are somewhat picky and whimsical which manifests itself in different things for both of us. etc. etc. etc… boy, he was even born via Caesarean section just like me. And we’re both accused of being haughty while we’re not. πŸ˜€ And we highly value our privacy. I strongly believe he has quite a good sense of humour, and so (as I strongly believe) do I!

We can’t say much about Sasha at this stage, but what we know makes him a perfect match for Zofijka already. They’re both Gemini, Sasha’s birthday is actually a week after Zofijka’s. They’re both very brave and adventurous – so is Misha, but in a different way, Misha’sΒ  more of an escapist, as I see it. They’re boh very playful and energetic, Sasha is much more energetic than Misha. I always thought Misha is like a volcano, but in comparison to Sasha, he is almost like an old guy, I think though Sasha will energise him a bit, he needs it. Both Sasha and Zofijka are quite big for their age, not very big, but slightly bigger than the norm would predict, he’ll be bigger than Misha when he grows up probably. They both like to be in the centre of attention, like making friends. They’re both cuddly and crave a lot of love and warmth. They both eat like horses and seem to like changes, I can’t say it about Sasha for sure, the more that Russian blues apparently rather don’t like them.

I think maybe Sasha will be able to in a way replace ŁoΕ› for me, he came into our lives just in the right moment, and very suddenly. My Mum just in one of her frequent impulses phoned Misha’s former breeder and asked if she could make a reservation for a second cat. He said that it actually won’t be necessary, because there’s a little one who should’ve be taken to a new home, but the guy who wanted him didn’t come despite a few days passing. So we had him home just the very same day.

What I’m worried about is Misha. He seems to be very unsettled. He has never seen a single cat before other than from the window or on the TV or pictures or stuff. Heseems to feel rejected, and afraid of Sasha, even though he’s older, and Sasha doesn’t care much about Misha’s hostility and wants to play with him, or just ignores his uncle happily – yes, Misha is Sasha’s bio uncle hahaha. Despite he’s afraid though, Misha protects his territory quite fiercely and we can see emotions flooding through him. Man I didn’t know he can make such creepy sounds. He just growls at him, not even just hisses. It sounds scary. Old, scary, possessed uncle Misha. πŸ˜€ I want my little Misha back. I’m kinda afraid he won’t accept him, but try to think positively, after all everyone would be unsettled seeing some being of their own kind after nearly 3 years of peaceful life as The One And Only. And it’s slightly better than it was in the morning or last night.

OK, so it would be all from me for now I guess. Hope I’ll be finally able to write the daily series posts and some more tomorrow.

So happy to be back at the blogosphere. Missed y’all terribly.

I’m gonna check what our little kids are doing and maybe one of them would be willing to sleep with me, at least Sasha, I guess Misha is still too overloaded to be able to think about sleeping with someone, he’s even barely eaten today.