A while ago, I wrote a post inspired by a journalling prompt in the 200+ Journal Prompts Ideas for the Mind, Body and Soul book by Riley Reigns about (almost) ten things I’m really good at and today I thought I’d do another not just oh-so-self-centred but also oh-so-vain post based on a prompt from this book, which goes as follows:
What are 5 physical features that you love about yourself
That previous post was fiendishly difficult for me to write, even with the help of my family, and I suppose this one is going to be quite challenging as well. While I don’t consider myself unattractive, I also donn’t think I have such physical traits that I would as much as LOVE. So instead, I’ll focus on those that I like, and we’ll see if I can come up with five. As I do usually with lists like these, instead of just listing stuff, which would be boring, uninventive and ridiculously short, I’ll try to expand on all of these as much or as little as I see fit.
- My hair. I quite like my hair, specifically how thick, soft and strong it is. Most of people in my family have very thick and fast-growing hair, except for my Dad. I like that it’s very healthy, looks good and people usually compliment me on my hair, and you can do a lot with it if you want. Even when I was younger and my hypothyroidism (which I’ve had as a result of congenital hypopituitarism) was difficult to control which made my hair fall out like crazy, it still didn’t show and it didn’t look like my hair was thinning so my Mum kept saying that it’s probably for the better that I lose so much of it because God knows what would happen if I didn’t. Now I don’t lose quite as much of it and no disaster has happened so far, thankfully. As a young child, I had reeeeal long hair, which I generally really liked, and I liked the added bonus of being able to hide behind it if I didn’t want people to stare at me or something. But long hair is loads of hassle, so even though I still love the idea in theory, in practice it’s a different kettle of fish. Thick hair can be quite a lot of trouble if, like me, you don’t do a whole lot with your hair. It grows really quickly, so I have to have a haircut once a month or sometimes more often, and I hate having my hair cut and everything to do with it, I generally hate people messing with my hair and I totally don’t get how it can be relaxing for some people. :O Because it’s so thhick, haircuts and other hairdressing maintenance and stuff takes longer than with average-thick hair. Actually recently one hairdresser told me that she never had to do with more difficult hair than mine. Though my Mum said that probably means she just hasn’t had much experience in general. Even with my short-ish hairstyle (currently it’s with a strong emphasis on the -ish part ‘cause I haven’t had it cut in over a month and of course it also depends on a specific hairstyle I’m having at a given time, but usually my hair-length oscillates somewhere within the short-ish spectrum these days) I sometimes simply don’t have enough either physical energy or brainergy to wash my hair and do stuff with it, the more that when you have frequent migraines, playing around with your hair feels even more annoying while you’re migraine-y, and even though I most of the time don’t need to worry overly about hairstyles anymore, like I said I still have to have it cut more or less regularly. I’mm also not overly thrilled about its colour, which is kind of mousey and just not all that exciting. Someone once told me that it would be super cool if I died my black hair, and so that was what I promptly did, the more that my Gothic interests started to emerge. I liked it, and I got a lot of positive feedback from people. What irked me though was the fact that it was difficult to find black/deep dark brown dyes that wouldn’t have a reddish shade to it, which I didn’t like the idea of and which apparently didn’t make the effect so good either. So eventually, as my Celtic interests started to grow, I decided that if I have to have some red in my hair, I’d much rather be a full-blown redhead than a reddish brunette or something like that, and so I was happily a redhead for a while, which I also got a lot of positive feedback on and I don’t even know which I liked more, having properly black or red hair. However, we’ve already established that my hair grows like crazy, and when I did all those experiments I was still going to the boarding school, so I could only dye my hair (or rather my Mum did for me to be specific) when I was at home, and I was at home on average once a month, so my roots would start to show quickly. Also, since I don’t like people playing with my hair, I dreaded the procedure itself. Then the second in my life major depressive episode hit me and I just stopped bothering with it, and have never bothered with it since anymore.
- My eyelashes. As much as I don’t like my eyebrows and would like them to be at least a bit thicker and a bit darker, I do quite like my eyelashes. I don’t know if there’s some big reason why. I just do. They’re cool, and it’s considered a good thing to have thick eyelashes it seems. It looks like you’re dreamy, and I am dreamy, so that happens to be pretty accurate. And, for what it’s worth, I remember that my late friend Jacek from Helsinki told me once that apparently it’s the most striking physical part of me, whatever he meant, but I guess he meant it as a positive thing or otherwise he probably wouldn’t have said that. I only don’t like them when they get inside my eyes and I can’t get them out. 😀
- My fingers. I have long fingers, and I think that’s more practical than to have short fingers, and for some reason I generally like long fingers in humans. Ever since Sofi was born, I’ve loved her fingers to pieces. I also really liked to play with my Dad’s fingers when I was a kid, I even still do sometimes. I remember once sitting in the living room with Dad as he was watching the telly, and overhearing Mum talking to someone how “Jacek has such shapeless fingers” This was weird because it’s not something my Mum would tell like that to someone else, even if she thought so. My Dad did indeed have an accident as a teenager that affected his hand and fingers. He was grinding food for ducks and accidentally put his hand into the machine as it was working. He ended up with 34 stitches in his hand and had it in some sort of a cast or something for a year. It’s apparently some sort of miracle that he can actually use it, let alone that he’s still as marvellously dexterous as he is. One of his fingers is kind of crooked and there is still some scarring and marks from the stitches visible and palpable, nonetheless, I would never call his fingers shapeless. In fact, I think they’re very shapely and strong. And so, whether that was something that my Mum actually said or something my mind made up, I felt really indignant and sad and concerned that he might have heard it too, so I just started playing with them and that’s what I did ever since whenever we sat together. My fingers are definitely not as strong and as big as his, which I’m perfectly okay with being a woman, haha, in fact they’re very small and soft and people tell me all the time that I have baby hands, which is a bit weird but oh well okay. 😀 My fingers are also nowhere near as dexterous as my Dad’s, but that’s definitely not the fault of my fingers as such, rather, it’s my brain and coordination that is to blame.
- My figure. Well… I have very mixed feelings about this. I’m thin and curvy, with large breasts, defined waist and wide hips. Apparently, it’s the “ideal” shape of a female body but I’m not sure what exactly ideal means in this context and for whom it’s so ideal. 😀 On one hand, as a female, I do like looking decidedly feminine, and I like being thin. But other than that, I don’t really like my boobs. I don’t think they need to be THIS huge to still make me fit into the “ideal” category, but I can’t do anything about it because coincidentally, I also happen to have mild pectus excavatum (a chest deformity) which from what I’ve heard would make mammoplasty complicated. The more that apparently the combo of pectus excavatum plus large boobs is uncommon, as pectus excavatum much more often co-occurs with boobs that are too small. As it is, I think it’s quite unhealthy, given that I tend to be either underweight or close to it, as sometimes it feels like my weight consists mainly of my bust. 😀 It’s not practical either, bra shopping is a nightmare. But overall, I guess I could have been in a much worse situation, and I’d rather have a lot of boobs than for example be overweight so that there would be a lot of me in general.
- My skin. Aside from that it can get dry and itchy in winter, I generally feel very lucky in this regard and grateful about my skin being so easy to maintain, though I guess it’s only now that I’m writing this that I’m fully realising it. 😀 I”ve always liked my light complexion, especially when I was a Goth but I still do, unless I don’t have proper sunscreen when it’s needed and go red in the sunlight. Generally, I have a very soft skin without having to do much about it, even when it’s actually always more on the dry side, so no huge skincare routines here, I only sometimes need to moisturise it or have an occasional face peeling. Even when my thyroid was bad, I didn’t have most of the classic manifestations of hypothyroidism that a lot of people with this condition talk about and seem to struggle with a lot. On the other hand, I’ve never had bad acne either, despite it has plagued Sofi very badly, and my Mum struggled with it a lot too. I’ll get an odd pimple when Jack the Ripper (period) is about to arrive but nothing dramatic, though perhaps a part of why it never gets dramatic is that I never pop pimples because I think it is more gross than actually having them, though I can understand it must be different for sighted people. Apparently if your skin has more of a tendency to dryness and not much acne you could get wrinkles earlier than people who get a lot of acne, but I don’t think I mind that very much, I guess wrinkles are less problematic than acne and at least stranger people will no longer automatically assume I’m Sofi’s peer lol. The only thing that I definitely don’t like about my skin is the amount of moles I have, which is surely genetic as both my Mum and my gran on Dad’s side also do. When I was little my Dad used to say they’re “beauty spots” but I totally don’t get that and would get rid of them all if there weren’t any potential complications of that. I just hope I wonn’t get hair growing on them like my gran. 😀
WOW, I did it! Go Bibiel!!! But I’m pretty sure that if it would be six, I wouldn’t be able to come up with anything else. And if I did it, so can you!
So, what are your five things? Or feel free to name more, if you wish. 🙂