Happy Easter, pets and peeps!

Hhrrru? 😻

This is Misha. I am soon going to sleep because all my peeps are soon going to sleep, but before I do that I wanted to wish all of you, on behalf of the Emisha team – that is Mila and me – a very happy happy happy Easter. I hope it will be a very joyful time for you if you are Christians and if you are not and are just celebrating for the fun of celebrating something I hope you will be able to have as much chocolate as you can keep in. And if you are not celebrating I hope you have a lovely, beautiful Sunday and won’t be stressing too much about that human plague thing. If you are a pet like me I hope it will also be as happy day for you as it’s going to be for me and that your peeps will stay at home even though it is a holiday and spend some more time with you, but hopefully they won’t be too noisy and intrusive and will let you have a bit of time for yourself too. Happy Easter to all our readers. 😻

Emisha πŸ’œ πŸ’š πŸ’™

Question of the day (7th April).

Hey people! πŸ™‚

DO you usually drive or fly when going on a holiday?

My answer:

I’ve never flew by plane in my whole life, and we usually go on holidays in the country so we drive most of the time. I am quite scared of the prospect of flying, mostly because I have balance issues because of something being wrong with my vestibular system, I don’t really know what exactly is wrong with it and why, I can only suspect that it could be somehow vaguely related to my blindness but then not all blind people have vestibular system issues, and diagnosis and labyrinth examination in the blind seems rather tricky. Anyway, some of the things I deal with because of it are quite odd and I can feel unwell just riding in the car, which is not just being car sick – although that’s how I usually compare that to people and how I refer to it when talking to other people who are unfamiliar and unlikely to get it for lack of a better, official and descriptive word, though I do get normal motion sickness sometimes too but it’s not quite as often and not quite as bad at all –
it’s like when a road is particularly bumpy, or very winding, or there is a hill, or someone is driving really fast, or I just have a bad day balance wise, because some days are definitely better and some are definitely worse, and it also seems to depend quite a bit on a kind of vehicle I’m riding, but in the wrong circumstances I can get all dizzy and feel generally strange sensations in my body and it’s also just plain scary. I have no idea if it would be the same on the plane or not, but trying it out feels quite creepy to me since I wouldn’t be able to just stop or go back or anything. When going to Sweden a while ago, we travelled by ferry to Karlskrona, and that was quite an exception from our normal, I was really determined to do it, but the travel was really difficult for me.

How about you? πŸ™‚

Question of the day.

When was the last time you went on a family holiday? Was it good? Bad? Ugly?

My answer:

We don’t go on holidays that very often. The last proper family holiday we had, I mean a really long and faraway one, was the trip to Stockholm a few years ago and that was terrific albeit exhausting. If you can call something much smaller a family holiday as well, I’d say that my last one was last July. We went to Masuria – me and my parents –
quite spontaneously, it was my Dad’s idea. Due to many things, including poor planning and that my Dad is a really bad travel companion, and my Mum and me feel just as well, if not better, at home, this trip was ultra short and most of it was spent in the car, going back and forth, and then Dad looking around for a battery for his camera, which he never used in the end. πŸ˜€ He was also super irritable and irritating all that time. Oh well! I don’t feel the need to go for a holiday every year, I don’t think I lack anything particularly much where I am, and those things I do feel lack of in my life, I won’t suddenly get just because of the change of location most likely.

You? πŸ™‚

I’m back! Merry Christmas! πŸ˜„

Hiya people, and pets, and everyone in between! πŸ™‚

Just a short note to let you know that my new computer has arrived on Friday and since then I was very busy setting it up (with tremendous help from Olek without which I’d be completely lost), and I’m still very slowly catching up on everything and even slower getting used to all the novelty and change, which is not always only positive, although it’s definitely much better to have a new computer than not to have any. It’s been causing me a lot of distress and anxiety, resulting in excessive nail biting thanks to which I’ve apparently got something called paronychia – an annoingly sore, swollen and throbbing finger – but it’s slowly and gradually getting better, I mean the anxiety. It will probably take some time before I’ll write some more concrete posts.

But most of all, me and Misha would like to wish all of you a very happy happy Christmas. I hope it will be a very wonderful and joyful time for you during which you can do lots of cool things, spend quality time with your family, or perhaps recharge and have time just for yourselves. I hope Christmas will fill your hearts with joy and hope and make you feel that your life is meaningful. πŸ™‚ Misha says he wishes you lots of delicious food and relaxation time and hopes it will be the cosiest Christmas ever for you. πŸ™‚

I also want to thank all those of you who read my blog and who were emailing me when I was away from the blogosphere, I appreciate it so very much and it’s been a huge help for me to get through that, you’re all really great friends! πŸ™‚ If I didn’t get back to someone it’s either because my Braille-Sense was freezing or didn’t display it.

Question of the day.

Are you excited about Christmas, or any other holidays you are going to celebrate soon? Any plans?

My answer:

Well, we don’t have the Christmas overwhelm here yet, waay too early, though I’ve heard from some other people that it’s more and more visible already in their countries. For us, the “xmassy” madness starts around the beginning of December. That could be because of the fact that we have two other holidays in the meantime, not as huge, especially not in the sense of marketing and all that, but still quite largely celebrated and present in people’s consciousness. One is Independence Day on November 11, and the other is St. Andrew’s Day on November 30, when people make dancing parties or balls or school proms or whatever, do a lot of dancing, plus single ladies looking for love traditionally foretell their future in lots of different ways, the most common being pouring hot wax from a candle through the ring of a key into cold water. Then when the wax becomes solid you hold it in front of a candle and interpret the shape of it as to what it could mean in regards to your future, especially your romantic life. I am celebrating Independence Day, as in, it’s a very important day for me, but I’m not planning to do anything super special for that. But it’s a holiday so I’ll spend it with my family. Am I excited? Guess not, but I’m definitely very happy that we can celebrate our Independence and very grateful for that, and for all the people in our history who made it happen. For St. ANdrew’s Day I’m not excited at all, I don’t really care about that. I’m single, but not looking for a romantic relationship, and hate dancing. Sofi is doing a little party for her friends, and my parents are going out for a party FOR SENIORS (no, they’re not seniors, but I guess they like it this way πŸ˜€ ). I guess it’s some sort of a national day for Scotland so I might binge on some good Scottish music that evening, or read something Scottish perhaps, we’ll see. πŸ˜€

I’m really hardly ever very much excited for Christmas, I mean I like the holiday in itself, but all the chaos that comes with it and is present everywhere, it is overwhelming and it annoys me a bit how superficial it looks and like people have no idea what’s it all about, but I remember I wrote on that last year. as well as the Christmas celebrations themselves usually take a toll on me because of all the socialising, sitting at the tables for hours and feeling bored, or lonely in the crowd or overloaded. It has its upsides but it is tiring. I used to be more fond of it when I was at school and Christmas meant to me that I could go home, but as soon as all the gatherings started, part of me really wanted it to be over. This year is a little bit different because of My Inner Mishmash Readership Award, I’m so excited with it!

As for Christmas plans, we know almost for sure that we’re going to celebrate Christmas Eve at my grandparents’. Christmas Eve is actually the most celebrated day of Christmas in Poland, people have a big, meatless supper, Christmas carols are already sung and people unbox their presents as well. So we’re most likely going to go to my Mum’s parents, and celebrate the Christmas Eve with them, all her siblings and their families.

So, how about your holidays and plans? πŸ™‚

Question of the day.

Hi guys. πŸ™‚

Today, my question for you is:

What would be your dream holiday/vacation? πŸ™‚

My answer:

I think it would be visiting all of my favourite countries, which I have mentioned many times here, along with what I’d like to see/do there and why I’d like to go there so I won’t do that again now. The only thing is that it would probably also be extremely draining for me to squeeze all of them into one holiday, and I’m not sure I’d like it to be this way.

How about you? πŸ™‚

Question of the day.

What is the best holiday you’ve had without having to travel very far?

My answer:

Most of my holidays turn out good, and I hardly ever travel very far. I like to travel once in a while if it’s not too draining and not too much socialising meanwhile, and if I’m not forced to walk aimlessly around places like museums which usually hardly interest me, but I like to stay at my own home even more. I don’t feel the need to travel often, and, while it’s often a lot of fun to travel, it’s usually very stressful for me as well. I am hardly ever bored in my own company and so I don’t really need loads of special events or changes around me to have a nice holiday, often it’s actually the other way around and I feel overwhelmed by too much adrenaline. And I love to braintravel, it’s just as much fun! So I think, overall, all my holidays so far have been good, though of course there have been fantastic and dreadful moments.

How about you? πŸ™‚

Question of the day (18th October).

Hi guys. πŸ™‚

Let’s have some holiday/travel related questions of the day for a while.

What is the furthest you’ve ever been from home?

My answer:

Stockholm, Sweden. And the nearby areas. That was such an awesome holiday! I stayed there for a week.

You? πŸ™‚

Everyone’s coming and going, but I can’t. :(

Hhrrru? 😻

It’s Misha and I’m sad. I like being alone, but not lonely. And in last couple of weeks I’ve been feeling lonely a lot. I so hope it will end soon, or that I will be able to have some adventures too. The peeps are having them all the time! Everyone’s coming and going somewhere all the time. Last week, I haven’t seen Zofijka almost at all. And then suddenly everyone was gone, I only saw Olek a few times and he gave me some food, but only very little, not as much as Mum or Mila gives me, I guess he doesn’t know how much I eat. I was so terribly bored. Then they came back – that is Mum, Dad and Mila – and were very happy to see me but the next day when I woke up Mum and Dad weren’t there again, so I guess it was just pretended. I hate lying people. I never lie! It’s only people that do it, and that’s why, while I love my peeps, I also think humans are the worst and strangest species in the world. I wish they were felines like me, at least they wouldn’t be so cocky all the time. But I was a brave Misha and I didn’t cry, and at least then Mila was with me so I spent a lot of time with her, and I had a lot of treats. But I felt very sad and a bit rejected anyway, because they could go anywhere they wanted and I can’t even leave the house for a minute because then there’s one big drama. The next day Zofijka came, but this week still they are almost constantly out of the house. I guess that’s what they call holidays. So why can’t I have my holidays too? I really hope those holidays will end soon, or that they will take me at least on the terrace so I can smell the fresh air. I love the smell of fresh air, do you? And I love the smell of flowers. I only dislike the smell of other cats, and sometimes I can feel it when they do let me out for a little while.

Have you been on holidays, pets and peeps? Or if you pets aren’t going anywhere like me, how do you deal with it? Are you sad about it or is it normal for you and you don’t care, or perhaps you even like it this way? What do you do when your peeps leave you?

It’s so very sunny today, I would really like to go out. Maybe if I’ll go for a walk around the house and cry long enough at ever window I’ll piss them off enough to let me out. Mum and Dad have just come back from wherever they were. I’ve heard that even Jocky decided to go on holidays and ran away. (sigh) The world is so unfair! Just wait until the Feline Era comes!

Mishpurrs. πŸ™‚

Misha πŸ’œ πŸ’š πŸ’™

If We Were Having Coffee… a midweek coffee share.

Anyone up for a cuppa coffee at 9 PM? Or probably it will be even later by the time I finish this post. But perhaps it’s earlier where you are so if you want a coffee, grab a cup of it and join in. Or drink whatever you feel like. I can offer you a coffee, or an iced coffee, green tea, black tea, some herbal teas, or raspberry tea, kefir, Pepsi, or water. Or you can bring something yourself so that it’ll be more diverse.

I have a lot of snacks this time that I can share with you, I’ve made a big big shopping last week, thinking I’ll be alone for a week so will need a lot of yummy stuff to munch on. A lot of sweets, like biscuits, chocolate, some hard candy, gummybears, lots of stuff that it’ll probably take me weeks or months to deal with myself so I’ll need people to help me out! But you can still bring in your own food. We don’t have much serious food here right now, no yummy dishes or anything like that, as Mum is the one who cooks those and she’s just come back from my uncle’s funeral, but I’ve also stocked the house with instant soups, pasta sauces and all sorts of cereal and yoghurts and such.

I won’t be eating anything this time, actually I only ate a little today, a late breakfast and some cookies with Zofijka, I feel kinda weird physically and don’t even have an idea why, I’m tired and a bit nauseous and lousy and I felt like not doing this coffee share today, but I need to catch up with you and tell you about an idea I had, so I don’t want to delay it all the time.

So, grab something you feel like drinking and eating, find yourself a cosy and comfy place to sit, and let’s start our coffee share properly.

If we were having coffee I’d ask all of you how are you doing and how has the last week and this week so far been for you?… πŸ™‚

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I was on a very unexpected trip to Masuria last week. my Dad just got kind of a suden idea that he’d like to go to Masuria because he’s on holidays for over two weeks now. Masuria is a sort of go-to, traditional place for some longer holidays for us. My Mum has family there, and my Dad is very much into WWII stuff so there’s a lot to explore for him. The food is heavenly there, and so are the views and just the general atmosphere. We didn’t have much time to spend there, as they were supposed to go on another trip with my Mum’s family to the Bieszczady mountains, so we left on… Thursday, I guess, and were meant to go back home on Saturday if not earlier. We didn’t do much there though, because the plans regarding their other trip were changing constantly, and my Dad got cross about it, so in the end we were home on Friday early evening. Still, I mostly liked the trip, despite my Dad’s constant irritability getting on my nerves and my own moods shifting quite a bit which was difficult to contain but I think I succeeded at it very much. It helped me to sort of get away from my anxieties, clear my mind a little, and, while the depression was still echoing somewhere in the background, my anxiety and rumination had significantly lessened while I was away, which was actually surprising, normally I’m one big nervous wreck when travelling for longer than a day and sleeping in a stranger place and all.

We went to one small town called MikoΕ‚ajki and were just wandering aimlessly around it, I bought myself a cat figurine made of porcelain, it’s blue, as in the Russian blue Misha. πŸ˜€ Oh yeah and I mised Misha terribly! I guess I’ll always have that messed up in my brain, when longing for someone, it feels like I’m never going to see them anymore or will have to lose them again very soon, it feels much more of a loss than it is, no matter what I tell myself, no matter that I know I’ll see Misha in 2 days, which is ridiculously short, it’s so stupid and shitty, I hate it. My Dad really wanted to take a ship there, around the lake in MikoΕ‚ajki, but I flat out refused because it was very windy and I was afraid my vestibular system won’t cooperate, so he was enraged, but couldn’t have any discussion with me. The next day Mum wanted to go somewhere by ship, and it wasn’t that windy so I gritted my teeth and said OK, but to my surprise Dad said we don’t have to and he doesn’t want to force me. Not quite like him, but while I would deal with that, after all we’ve sailed to Sweden and such and I dealt with it, I was happy I didn’t have to go through it again without a sound reason. πŸ˜€

After we’ve seen almost the entire MikoΕ‚ajki, we went to EΕ‚k where we very supposed to sleep, but my Dad – always planning ahead and even a bit stiff – went all wild and spontaneous this time and hadn’t booked us a place anywhere. He doesn’t have a debit/credit card, I left mine at home and Mum was almost skint so couldn’t pay for us, while all the online booking stuff only accepts cards obviously. So he was all raging, until we finally found a hotel that he could plain phone and pay them directly with cash. πŸ˜€ I was starting to think that we might end up going back home at night, so fumin he was.

I had really weird, like really weird and rather creepy dreams, some in a cool creepy way and very creative, one was gloomy-creepy and even more odd, and involved me having ECT. Only that if ECT really looked like that… it was even worse than in “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest”. I don’t know what I had that for, was it depression or whatever, I just know I was seeing a very authoritarian doctor there who said something is definitely very wrong with my brain and I need ECT to get it working properly, he was the kind of person who knows everything about you before you even get a chance to say anything. It was a really gloomy and awfully depressing hospital, I felt sick just being there, and I guess it was quite a long distance from my home, because when he announced to me that I’d have to come there I guess every month me and my Mum were very unsatisfied. He first wanted me to sit there and wait for my turn while there were like a dozen of odd, metal beds with people on them, who had all something wrong with their brains, they had some stuff connected to their brains, I don’t know, wires or electrodes or whatever it was, something was beeping all the time like in a trashy medical thriller movie, the doctors were doing something to their brains, like manipulating with them with their hands, they were bound to their beds, and they had awful, like horrible, horrifying seizures, it looked gross, heart-wrenching and creepy and their dignity was taken away from them. I guess they weren’t unconscious but in some altered state of consciousness. And then I had all that stuff too, only that I didn’t have the seizures, instead I felt awful and woke up with no memory. And I know I talked with some of those people who were there, one of them was very much like my friend Jacek from Helsinki, and he told me he’s been having that for 5 years every month and he feels less and less like himself and that I should run away from there. I came back home and my whole extended family came to me to wish me speedy recovery but I didn’t even care about anything and it felt really strenuous to think. And then slowly, life would just go back to normal, and as soon as I’d start regaining my colourful brain, feeling OK, getting back my memories and was less scared of what happened, it was time to go back to that prick. It was weird that I couldn’t even just refuse, everyone was saying I have to, they were very sad about it but were saying it will help me in the end. I often have dreams when people force me to do things and no matter how hard I refuse or fight, or how diplomatically I’d try to persuade them out of it, they have to have it their way. I wonder does that mean something? πŸ˜€ So yeah, that was my dream, in a nutshell, I was going back and forth from there and seeing all those people and having it done to myself and recovering, until finally when I came there and he put me on the bed I just woke up. First I was creeped out and wondered why the hell I had such a gross dream, and it haunted me for a while, but then I started laughing at how creative my brain is. Guess I really could write thrillers based on my dreams, only I don’t like thrillers! πŸ˜€ Would like to have a talk with my brain and ask it where it got it from, during your average jolly family trip. Maybe something was wrong with that hotel! πŸ˜€

Anyway, as I told you, the next day we had to go back home, but before we did that, we visited AugustΓ³w and I had the yummiest iced latte there. And both on our way to Masuria and back home we stopped for a dinner in a lovely restaurant where I had absolutely scrumptious pierogi. Apart from my Mum’s and perhaps my grandma’s, I don’t think I’ve eaten better. Not in a restaurant for sure, and most often we eat frozen which are rather dull, so it was a great surprise! But pierogi in Masuria usually tend to be very good. So as I said my parents were supposed to go for another trip on Sunday, and they did, but had to go back, because my uncle died that same day from cancer. They normally probably wouldn’t go back, but grandma was going with them and she wanted to take part in the funeral. Coincidentally, my uncle lived in Masuria, so yesterday in the morning my family were heading back there and have just come back. I was at home with Zofijka and Misha, and Olek, but Olek’s mostly at work. For those of you who read my “Some Random Questions” post, if you’re curious, no, our house didn’t catch fire, Misha didn’t choke and Zofijka didn’t bring a norovirus home from her swimming camp, although I’m feeling really interestingly today so actually who knows… (no, brain, don’t think about that now!), instead, Zofijka came home sobbing hysterically, but didn’t want to talk so I asked Mum as for how I should handle it and Mum said I should ignore it and that means she really enjoyed the camp… Yeah, I see… No, seriously, I get it. There’s a whole long school year until another camp. I hated camps but still, I know the feeling. She’s better now, and has been out with her mates for most of the day. But my parents are going for another trip yet (my Dad’s determination to challenge theΒ  fate is pretty admirable) only not to Bieszczady but somewhere nearer, so hopefully the smaller distance will help in making it a success finally. πŸ˜€

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that Misha is being really sweet to me lately, which helps me a lot every day. I suspect it’s my little secret bottle of Mish ice cream (his favourite thick sauce) that I’ve got that made him feel so amicably towards me. Those sauces come in little tubes, so you squeeze them out and if we want to have fun Misha can lick it like ice-cream, but it gets messy and I don’t wfind those tubes very user-friendly. So Mum came up with an idea that for the time when they’ll be away she’ll put a few sauces into a bottle so I’ll have it easier to give it to him and dose properly, it’s like an oil bottle. The thing is you of course have to store those sauces in the fridge, or at least in a dark place, so I had to use up that bottle quick. I used up most of it, but sadly, some of the sauce had turned sour, I was afraid not to overfeed him. I still have his normal snacks, but the sauce effect hasn’t worn out yet and Misha graciously spends most of his very precious time with me and sleeps in his bed next to me at night, as well as has his longest day nap always here. It’s really so lovely! πŸ™‚

If we were having coffee, I’d share my idea with you, which I think is great, but I need your feedback, as it has to do with my blog and with you as my readers! I’ve been thinking about it loads and it’s not a very new idea, but, as is most often the case with me, I needed to thoroughly think it through. The idea is such – I’ve been thinking about doing something like a yearly My Inner MishMash reader award – don’t know what its actual name could be yet but that’s a secondary thing. – There are tons of awards in the blogosphere, some people like them and find them nice, for some they’re annoying, so I wasn’t thinking a blog award, like write a post and nominate people etc. Especially that, as far as I am aware, those awards tend to be connected with badges, or other banners or pics, as a way to emphasise and show that someone’s blog has been awarded and I have no idea about that. My idea is more about expressing my gratitude to my readers, having fun blogging, and just connecting with people in a fun way, and also it’d be like a small giveaway. Every year, I would pick three readers of My Inner MishMash that I think have been most involved, that come here regularly, comment etc. and that I feel particularly grateful for having them around. That would be based on my own judgment and feelings, but also on the comments stats. Then I would send out small packages to those folks, with mini things like some typically Polish yummies, T-Shirts with Misha, Mish-themed Christmas cards (as that would be sometime around Christmas and New Year) and such, I’m open for suggestions here. I’d also make an official post announcing the “winners” (although it’s not about winning and losing, obviously I’m grateful for all my engaged/reglar readers who enjoy being here at My Inner MishMash, whether you comment a lot or just read my posts, but I can’t send gratitude packages to all of you every year πŸ˜€ ). Or maybe that post would go before I’d send the packages, and it could have a bit of an award form, that part needs deeper thinking. But what I need most at the moment is for you to say what you think, if you like the idea, are you up for it? Any ideas for a name for this invention? Right now I’m considering My Inner Mishmash Involvement Award (MIMIA) or My Inner MishMash Readership Award (MIMRA), it’s not really an award but it looks better in the acronyms than giveaway, but that feels a little stiff, or maybe it’s just me. My other idea is just simple EMisha’s Christmas Mini Care Package. Yeah, could use some feedback… I love baby names, but titles and such aren’t my ground as much.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I’m getting lots of new equipment soon! I’m happy not happy. I’ve got the maximum funding for my new Braille-Sense and Plextalk, so I really don’t have to pay much myself compared with the original price especially of Braille-Sense, which is good. I also decided to get a new computer, the one I have right now is about 5 and just seems to feel like retiring soon. My current computer is a laptop, but the one I’m going to get is a desktop, simply because it seems more logical for me, I almost only use my laptop in my room anyway. I’m happy because the change is really needed, especially re Braille-Sense, which is a geriatric, but I’m not happy and all anxious and fidgety because I hate hate hate changes and seem to have some internal problem with tech stuff and changing it, arrrghhhh. It’s not because of the sentiment, I just hate change, I’m afraid something will go wrong, or I won’t be able to transition and adjust, I won’t learn to handle the different things, which is quite unlikely. I guess I’d never had that strong anxiety with tech related transitions before, I guess before most of them I was very happy most of all, I don’t like the intensity of it at all. I’m gonna have my new stuff in the end of August.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that, although I’m not sleepy, because I woke up at about 11:30 AM today, I feel very tired for some reason and kind of weird so I’m going to bed soon.

What would you tell me if we were having coffee? πŸ™‚

 

What’s up pets and peeps it’s MISHA!!!

Hhrrru?! 😻

How are you pets and peeps doing? It’s Misha and I just woke up from a long, long nap and am full of beans and very energetic. I probably won’t write much ’cause there are so many other things to do and my paws itch for a good run but just wanted to tell you that I am very happy because Zofijka’s just come back from her holidays! She went away for a week, and today she came back and at least something is going on in this house, it was like a graveyard without her and I was just sleeping and sleeping. The sad thing is that she doesn’t seem to be very interested in me. Mila says that she just has a lot of things to do and a lot of things to catch up on but I am worried that now she likes that other cat – Flocky – more than me. Flocky is their aunt’s cat and he’s also a Russian blue and apparently he’s my relative or something, but I’ve never met him. And Zofijka has been talking about him a lot. It drives me crazy. I just hope she’ll soon forget about him. And I am also a bit sad because she says she’ll be going away in two weeks again. But she’s very happy about it so maybe I should be happy too. After all, it can be really good too when Zofijka is not around. You can relax properly. Sleep more. Be less paranoid that someone’s lurking there waiting for you to come closer just to scoop you up and get into her noisy room and squeal “Miiiisha cuuute Miiisha!” in your ears. Oh yeah and there’s much less noise which is good, but, like I said, not for too long, as it starts feeling odd. I guess the peeps felt a bit odd too.

Has something nice happened to you this week? Any plans for the weekend? Are you gonna do something interesting with your peep(s), or with your pet(s) if you’re a peep? πŸ™‚

Off to have a race with Zofijka.

Mishpurrs.

Misha πŸ’œ πŸ’™ πŸ’š

If We Were Having Coffee… or whatever else you fancy. #WeekendCoffeeShare

#WeekendCoffeeShare at Eclectic Alli’s.

Welcome to another coffee share, quite an early one, especially as for me, but I haven’t been too regular with posting lately and I might not be for a few more days so I thought we’d have another coffee share as some longer, catch-up post.

I’ve had my green tea already in the morning as I woke up early and needed it badly so I’m now having sparkling water with lemon, and very yummy Polish biscuits called Delicje – they are round sponge biscuits covered in chocolate with a jelly filling, mine are with orange jelly and as much as I love Delicje, the orange-flavoured ones are the only ones I find acceptable, OK, raspberry ones are OK, but just OK. – Help yourselves! I’ve also made a cake earlier today – a sponge cake with jelly and raspberries – (wow I’m kinda monotematic today with sponge, fruit and jelly, perhaps someone has an idea why? :D). It’s my name day on Sunday, hence I made it. And Mum made yummilicious croquettes (I don’t even know if that’s exactly the same thing in English, but oh well) with rice and mushrooms. I love them, and so does Olek, so if you’d like to sample, you need to hurry as he’ll soon be back from work and there will be nothing left. πŸ˜€ And I guess that’s all really yummy food (in my opinion) we have today, and you can bring something you have to our coffee share to make it more diverse than just sponge with jelly. πŸ˜€ Get yourself a comfortable place to chill and let’s start our chat, shall we? πŸ™‚

If we were having coffee, or not coffee, I’d ask you how things have been going for you and what has happened in your life this week…?

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I’m feeling like rubbish today. Not the most optimistic note to start a coffee share and a weekend in general but what can I do. I don’t even know why. I woke up feeling OK, like near the baseline, but things have started spiraling down since early afternoon. I can’t get to why that is really. I feel depressed, and even a bit anhedonic, which is not my usual definitely, even if I am badly depressed I can often still feel the pleasure from things I love to some degree but I just feel kind of apathetic and sort of disconnected and don’t care about things too much, I also feel lonely because I feel disconnected, and don’t know what’s going on with my brain. Not like it would change a lot if I knew, and like it matters to me at the moment very much, but it’s always nice to be able to have a clue at least about your brain. I’ve also been having extremely sad and emotional dreams for a couple days which I don’t get either. I mean, scary dreams – yes, – intense, in whatever way – definitely, – strange – all the time, – but I don’t normally have plain sad dreams in which I’d feel all emotional and vulnerable, and yesterday I actually woke up crying. Today I had a sad dream too but it wasn’t quite as unsettling and I mostly remember the emotions of it, not the plot, so I didn’t think much about it, but the phenomenon of such an abundance of sad dreams is interesting. I get emotional dreams like this sometimes around the periods of time that used to be difficult for me in the past but now it’s not the case. Sometimes I wish my brain could speak, or write, or something. I’m so used to bottling up stuff that now I often don’t understand what it’s trying to tell me, ’cause I suppose it must want something from me if there’s no straightforward explanation.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you we’ve had another hot week here, but thankfully today it’s very nicely fresh and chilly, apparently only for a while, Dad says we’ll have another hot day on Sunday. But it’s a relief for all the people I think that at least now it’s cooler.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that at the beginning of this week, my router died. I had to get a new one and installing it and configuring was quite a pain, and I had a whole long boring day and a half with no Internet and not much to do, but now things are back to normal.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that Misha has a new hiding place, and this time, it’s a really good one, ’cause we still can’t figure out where it is, after over a week. He just disappears every day for a good few hours and then suddenly comes back out of nowhere. It’s amazing how after 3 years of living here, he still hasn’t ran out of ideas! πŸ˜€

If we were having coffee I’d tell you that I’m going to another meeting – like the one I went to earlier this month, in that sort of foundation or association that Zofijka’s friend’s mum works in – this time with a woman who used to live in Ireland, she’s Polish. That’s going to be very interesting for me for sure, since I love Ireland! I’m quite anxious again, even though I’ve already been there and it went well. It’s going to be on Monday.

If we were having coffee I’d also tell you that Zofijka’s friend’s mum was supposed to visit us yesterday, and then today, or on Sunday, but it seems like nothing will come out of it. While I’m happy for her to come over, I’m also secretly relieved that she won’t be coming today, as I’m definitely not in the mood for socialising whatsoever and wouldn’t be able to do it right the way I’m feeling now, just normal smalltalk feels so depressing and exhausting at the moment. As if I ever was good at smalltalk hahaha.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that we’re most likely going to the beach on Sunday, which I’m quite glad about, the sea usually makes me feel very good and I feel a strong connection with it, and I love being by the sea. We have our very special beach that is quite far away from us, it’s situated in a village in SΕ‚owiΕ„ski National Park, and it’s really clean and tranquil there, there are few beaches that are that quiet and clean. And we had a plan of going there, but because it’s apparently going to be rather hot, and the ride is long there, and then you have to walk 2 km through a nature reserve back and forth it would be quite tiring and time consuming compared to how much time we’d actually spend on the beach, so we probably won’t be going there and somewhere much closer and filled with people. πŸ˜€ In any case, I hope it’ll be cool and I’ll feel less depressed by then. Also as I said it’s my name day on Sunday so that’s going to be a nice way of spending it I hope.

What would you tell me if we were having coffee? πŸ™‚

 

What did I do for my Easter weekend?

I’m a little late to the show, but I wanted to give you a bit of a life update on my Easter, as I haven’t posted any proper one in quite a while, and I saw this question on Carol Anne’s blog,

so I thought I’d answer the question and write the update in one go. πŸ˜€

So, my Easter? Nothing too unusual. We were invited for two dinners, on Sunday and Monday, to my Dad’s family. I was very nervous about that but some time before the holidays I decided that I’m not going to any of them and no one will make me go there, especially that Olek wasn’t going either. I’m so glad I didn’t go. Gatherings with my Dad’s family always feel even more boring than any others, with my Mum’s family I have at least a little bit of common ground and they are more communicative. Also, on Tuesday it was my grandad’s name day, my maternal grandad, I only have one grandad anyway, and if I had to choose I’d definitely prefer to go to him rather than to those yucky dinners, and I felt like that would be impossible for me to do to go for three days in a row socialising (especially that it turned out that there was fourth in stock for me too, but that’s another story). But other than my personal feelings, there is currently very bad atmosphere at my Dad’s family. The uncle who invited us on Sunday is freshly after divorce, and the uncle to whom we were invited on Monday has been drinking even since before Easter, he’s an alcoholic. And apparently both those dinners were quite unpleasant. Besides I’m feeling depressed lately and just not into that, even more than usual.

I don’t know if there is such a tradition in any other countries, but in Poland, on Easter Sunday, we have a resurrection mass very early in the morning. I’d never been to one prior to this year, we’d usually go for the Easter eve service at night or however it’s called, as it’s nowadays usually celebrated together with the Easter liturgy in the end. But my Mum really wanted to go, and I was curious too how it feels. Only that I got very little sleep that night. I usually get very little sleep at night or none at all if I know that I have to be somewhere early. This time, I fell asleep like a baby, quickly and early, but woke up at 1 AM and was wide awake since then. My sleep cycle is in a messed up phase since almost two weeks now though. We were meant to get up at about 4:30. So at least the only advantage to the situation was that I wasn’t groggy in the morning, while my whole family were all yawning and one brain hemisphere still far away in Dreamland, while the other having to face the brutal harshness of the real world, yes waking up at such early hours especially if you have to go out is a yucky state to be in. But it’s just a few minutes and then everything’s OK. So we went to the mass and it was really beautiful, I always like the late night services like the midnight mass on Christmas more, but in the early morning it’s also very atmospheric. We had a yum yum yummilicious Easter breakfast. I wanted to get Zofijka Flips for Easter (Flips, or Flipsy actually, are a kind of vintage, unflavoured Polish crisps that Zofijka likes, there are flavoured too, but for some reason our usually fussy Zofijka prefers unflavoured), but she expressed her wish very late and I didn’t manage to get hold of them before Easter. I also got perfumes for Mum but they haven’t arrived yet. I got some sweets from Mum and Zofijka.

A while after breakfast, Mum, me, Zofijka and Jocky went for a long walk which was very nice and helped to clear out my brain a bit and I felt a little better emotionally. The most of the rest of the day I spent just with Misha, and Olek in his room, and we all were just chilling out and stuffing ourselves with food and sweets.

Easter Monday is a weird day in Poland, because people pour water on each other. Or in practice, anything they can put their hands on. Just a tradition. So I was woken up by Mum, splashing the water from a bottle at me. At least Mum is more human-like, when Zofijka came in with her bottle, my whole duvet got soaked, not to mention myself. I’ll have to use Olek’s strategy next year. Before he went to sleep, he got himself a big bottle and placed it beside him. And whenever anyone even opened the door to his rom, he’d splash the water at them immediately. Dad and Zofijka tried to outsmart him, Zofijka opened the door quietly and Dad wanted to quickly pour him over, but Olek was quicker. And everyone was shrieking and screaming and the water was all over Olek’s walls, bed, TV, all over Zofijka and Dad. And believe me, at our house it’s really low key and decent, my Mum is actually afraid of going out on the streets on Easter Monday, because people don’t always seem to know where good-humoured fun ends, and stupidity begins, or my aunt likes to greet all her visitors on Easter Monday by soaking them from head to toes. πŸ˜€ We only have a bit of splashing around in the morning and then it’s over.

So the rest of the day was calm for me. After we came back from the church I was sitting on the terrace with Mum and we were chatting about lots of things. It was very sunny. They weren’t long at that other dinner, probably because of my uncle being, hm, poorly. I was feeling pretty blah emotionally most of the day but tried to distract myself by catching up on the correspondence with my penfriends.

So, nothing unusual, as you see. But overall, even with me feeling low, it wasn’t as bad as Easter last year was for me, with my very grumpy Daddy not being satisfied with anything. Most of all I’m glad I didn’t go to those flippin dinners.

How about your Easter? πŸ™‚

Happy Easter, peeps and pets! πŸ˜πŸ˜»

Hiya people and hhrrru? to all of you.

It’s just a quick, collaborative post of me and Misha who is too sleepy to write on his own, and we’d like to wish all of you a very happy happy happy Easter. I hope it will be a blessed time for all of you and that you will feel the presence of Jesus in your lives, that it will be just a happy, peaceful time for all of you. And Misha wishes you loads of yummy food and some nice presents, but also don’t forget about your pets, Misha loves getting presents and his point of view is that everyone else does too. Or if you’re not celebrating Easter, have a beautiful, fun-filled weekend and enjoy yourselves whatever you’re going to do. πŸ™‚ I’m sorry I’ve been quite behind on blogging, I hope I can catch up over Easter, I’ve been having a lot of time with my family and had been completely absorbed by a work possibility that I thought I found in front of me, which didn’t work out but I lost sight of everything else for the time being hahahaha and got completely immersed in that.

Question of the day (15th December).

How are you this week? Are you stressed or excited for the holidays?

My answer:

I’m feeling mostly low this week, and having a lot of all kinds of anxieties. We’ve been talking a lot with my Mum lately about some important stuff and that has also given me a lot to think about but I hope I’ll be able to write about that some time later on. Also I still don’t have most of my music because of Spotify acting up which pisses me off enormously, and it looks just like I thought, it’s not that easy to fix. I asked the Spotify community about this but so far they weren’t able to help or I wasn’t able to do what I should do, don’t know really, also Olek tried to help me but had no idea whatsoever. I’ve been having more sleep issues than usual lately, and there were some other things that sort of unsettled me emotionally more or less as well. I’m still quite concerned and confused about my therapy and related stuff.

I didn’t even go to therapy this week, I had aunt Ruby visiting and wasn’t feeling perfectly well, like nothing too bad but slightly rubbishy and I used it happily as an excuse, I really didn’t feel like going, was very blue and stuff and I didn’t feel like going to therapy and seeing it again how much we can’t really connect would help me to feel better.

On Tuesday I went out for some Christmas shopping with Mum to buy all the presents for people I needed, thought that might be a bit stressful as I absolutely hate crowds and all that stuff, but for the most part boring because, well, shopping is boring, for both of us, but it wasn’t that bad. I knew exactly, or almost exactly, what I want to buy for everyone so it really went in a blink of an eye, and afterwards we went to KFC and had a meal. There was really crowdy though and I started to feel a bit fidgety which made me feel not up to eating at all so I took most of my food home and had it later on. But obviously KFC food reheated in the oven after a couple of hours isn’t as good as fresh KFC food, and I kind of regretted that my brain didn’t let me eat it but rather preferred to focus on making me anxious so I decided to recompense it to myself and had KFC also yesterday and really enjoyed it. I bought a big, fluffy, fleece blanket for my Dad, which is very heavy and cosy – we generally bought him a lot of cosy presents, all of us I think, – I also bought a Lego set for Zofijka, Fifa 2019 for Olek, and some sauces for Misha. I still am not sure what to buy for Mum, I was going to buy her a radio as her old one is just getting old, but Dad was first and bought her a really nice one, and he also bought her perfumes which was my another idea. Mum said she needs a kettle but I feel like giving people such presents is a bit foolish and egoistical and a bit narrow-minded because it’s actually for everyone’s advantage, there’s nothing personal about it! I know that in some couples it’s normal that guys buy their partners something to the kitchen, or generally family members do that, but… I just don’t feel it’s appropriate and particularly thoughtful. The radio my Dad bought for Mum has also a gramophone in it which is something my Mum will surely like and as vinyl CD’s seem to get trendy recently I think I’ll just go to some shop that has them with her after therapy and she’ll just choose something she likes for herself. Some people are always so crazy about making surprises for people and make a bit of a show of this presents thing, I mean nothing wrong with that if you and that other person like it and if you’re sure what she wants to get for Christmas, but I rather prefer to be sure they will like their presents, rather than that they will have a surprise, and although my Mum’s and my musical tastes used to be quite similar in the past we’re both getting older and things have changed dramatically so I’d rather prefer her to choose something nice for herself that she will enjoy.

After we came back from shopping I found out that a Christmas card from Carol Anne – blogging at Therapy Bits – has just come through to me and I was very happy about that. Also it seems that all the cards I have sent to people went through to them safely as well.

Another positive about this week was that I met some very interesting and lovely people online, and (yay!) someone who is Swedish! I’m so happy I can really practice my Swedish more regularly again and I hope that as we’ll be getting to know each other better with this girl we may become friends and I’ll have someone to chat with in Swedish on a regular basis. I have quite a bunch of Swedish acquaintances but I don’t have very regular contact with them and I also have one very close friend who is Swedish and lives in Poland and is in love with Poland and I guess I’ve mentioned her here before, but now she’s greatly focused on her very dynamic family life as she’s onlya couple months after her wedding and expecting a baby. So I mostly just write in my diary in Swedish or listen to Swedish or talk to Misha, I definitely don’t want my Swedish to get rusty so I do everything I can to use it, I even think in Swedish when I remember about it but it’s usually not as spontaneous as thinking in English. That girl though said my swedish was great and as she hasn’t been the only one saying so I can assume it couldn’t really get much worse if at all.

Quite a couple weeks ago, my aun was doing some medical tests because she was applying for a new job and needed to have them done. And they showed she had something wrong with one of her lungs, and they couldn’t figure out what it is. The GP scared her and all of us that it’s sarcoidosis, but it was just a suspicion. Then she went to the pulmonologist, who is also my and my Mum’s allergologist and generally a very experienced doctor, he looked at it, and was very concerned and said that in his over 30-year-old medical career he hadn’t seen anything like this. So of course all our family was rather worried. Then they admitted her to the hospital and did the CT and it showed that it is teratoma! None of us had ever heard about such thing before! It’s a sort of cancer, if I understand it well, but quite a, hm, peculiar one, and rather disgusting, I think, my Mum read something about it and told me, I was disgusted and scared and so was her, I had no idea such diseases even exist. I don’t know how to even explain it exactly and properly what teratoma is, so if you don’t know and are interested you can google it, but apparently it’s not as threatening as it may seem and you can get rid of it surgically only that it tend to reoccur quite often. And she also has it on her ovary apparently.

The reason why I’m mentioning this is that this week on… I guess Thursday, or Friday, she had a surgery on her lung to remove it. Luckily it seems like she’s recovering properly and will be home on Tuesday.

That’s about my week, and as for Christmas, well, I’m happy it is coming, but I can’t say I’m excited. I used to be a bit excited as a kid, but I guess it was mostly simply because I could be with my family rather than because Christmas as such, but yes, it’s certainly a nice time. But I am also definitely more or less stressed and I think the Christmas stress might be the reason why I’m so low lately and just everything seems to affect me even more than normally and I feel a bit as if I caught some nasty mental flu, or as if I was some sort of a Fillyjonk who constantly predicts various catastrophes in her mind (I strongly relate to Fillyjonk by the way, not just now before Christmas, πŸ˜€ and for those of you who don’t know Fillyjonk was a character in “Tales From The Moomin Valley” by Tove Jansson. Anyways, yes, there’s a lot of stress, mainly I guess because of social anxiety, but despite my Fillyjonk-ish attitude some small part of me tries to be positive and also possibly rational. I enjoyed helping Mum making pierogi on Friday, and we’ll probably do some more tomorrow, and when there are pierogi, there’s Christmas! πŸ˜€

So, how about YOU? πŸ™‚ How’s your week been, and what are your attitude and feelings regarding Christmas? πŸ™‚

Question of the day.

Where do you stand on the whole β€˜let’s kick off Christmas’ business?

My answer:

If I’m totally honest, I actually find it a bit annoying how overrated Christmas is. I do like it, but I just hate how commercialised it is. I might be wrong on that, but I have an impression that we here in Poland are a bit more composed in this field. Of course, media and marketing are pretty universal all around the world, but as for people, I have an impression they’re not as obsessed about Christmas as people in some other countries often seem to be. ‘Cause, from what I see as an outside observer, it looks like as soon as the Halloween boom ends, people are running straight into the Christmas obsession.

Over here, the traditions of All Souls’ Day and All Saints’ Day are pretty much a part of our culture, a rather important one I’d say, so we come into the November in a rather slow, melancholic way, rather than with our mind racing already to December. You can see gravelights in the shops, and the atmosphere, even in the always noisy media, is a bit more tranquil and pensive.

So like the first decade or so is occupied by thinking about our loved ones who died, and then is Independence Day, which is always hugely talked about in the media, but I don’t think it has a really important place in marketing, though this year it was a bit different because it was the 100th anniversary of our Independence so it was all much more festive.

And then, we too, kick off the Christmas season. At least the shops and streets and media do, people are a bit more restrained, or perhaps have slow reaction, but generally it’s not like switching to the Christmas mode straight away, it’s more of a process, so it’s actually the second half of November when things are really running. But still, people DO obsess about Christmas. I guess even my writing this post that early shows it very well, haha, but I saw the question in the Internets, so wanted to know what your opinions are and share mine. πŸ˜€

And I wonder why on Earth?! Are we all in the so called Christian world so naive and submissive and whatever media will tell us, or shops will set on the display, we’ll swallow it? Or maybe, although so many people declare they are atheists, or agnostics, or Christians, but not practicing (what’s the point in being a not practicing Christian, that’s another thing), maybe we still subconsciously need something to believe in, something to celebrate, something to be happy about, so let’s be happy that Christ was born, no matter whether it makes any difference for us practically or not. But that seems not a very good explanation, especially that in all that mess it’s actually hard to tell, what we are celebrating. It’s Jesus’ birthday, but sadly, although the celebrations are running, the birthday boy Himself doesn’t receive much of attention, I’d risk a statement that some of His “guests” actually might not realise what they are celebrating really, other than it’s just to have fun. Maybe that’s why it gets on my nerves when people write Xmas instead of Christmas. I know, I know, the Greek letter Chi, but still, it looks so weird… In the spelling Christmas, you have Christ, so you know what’s it about, but Xmas looks so enigmatic. Like a mathematical operation, with an X. No one knows what it is… And I hate maths too, and I (usually) try to avoid the abbreviations, so yeah, it really don’t like “Xmas”. It looks like a mass/mainstream holiday about which no one knows anything. Yuck. My Mum once said a funny and interesting thing, if aliens came to us around Christmas time – and I think they don’t have to necessarily be aliens like from another planet, anyone who doesn’t really get the modern world, culture, just lives under the rock, – so if they came and saw all the people so very excited, rushing to the shops, all the decorations and generally the overwhelming waves of stimuli everywhere, what would they think we’re celebrating? Would they be able to guess it? My Mum said that in her opinion they’d think we’re celebrating that the snow has fallen, or, because it doesn’t, we’re making a ceremony to beg heavens for sending it. πŸ˜€ Quite possible. Well, they don’t have to know what we are celebrating, but usually, when people celebrate something, especially that loudly and festively, they have a good reason for it, they want the reason to be visible, known, they are happy about it. So what are we happy about when celebrating Christmas? I mean there are lots and lots of things to be happy about, but is there something particular for most people that would set Christmas apart from any other holiday? Or maybe, the reason why we love Christmas so much, is that we’re so greedy! For good, festive food, for presents… Actually, for many people, presents seem to be what counts the most, and while it’s obvious that we enjoy receiving nice things, and it’s rather normal for children to focus on it a lot, I’m not sure it’s a good thing for adults to look forward for any holidays mainlyin hopes they will get something, as a primary reason. So I hope that’s not the point of it.

Also, what strikes me, is how when finally Christmas starts, the overwhelming euphoria finally subsides, then when it’s the second day of Christmas, or Boxing Day or st. Stephen’s Day or however else you call it, it’s much much quieter with people solely focused on watching TV and eating the leftovers, or curing from digestive issues, and then when the second day of Christmas is gone, all the turmoil is gone too. Well that’s quite logical, Christmas is over so the euphoria is over too, but (maybe it’s just me?) to me it looks a little bit unnatural. Like you obsess about something, shout about it, and then you suddenly go quiet. Sometimes it feels a bit like we already forgot about Christmas as soon as it’s finished. It shows how true it is that waiting for something nice to happen is often much more enjoyable than this thing itself.

But I have an impression that it should be the other way around! It still is so in a way over here, and I guess generally in Catholic countries Christmas season, the actual Christmas season is still a bit more pronounced despite the pre-Christmas euphoria. ‘Cause it doesn’t make much sense to me that now people want to have Christmas season in Advent or before, and then all the joy is gone after Christmas ends. It is like with a child who can’t wait for his Christmas presents, so he unwraps them weeks earlier, and then after Christmas all the joy is just a dim recollection.

I feel like Advent should be the time of awaiting. Some people say it should be a sad time of uncertainty, I don’t think so. But it definitely shouldn’t be euphoric and shouty. Just waiting patiently and happily, preparing, in peace and quiet, maybe a bit pensively.

And then, when Christmas (or Christmas Eve) comes, or just a couple days before, you can get real Christmassy, get out the decorations and stuff.

And after Christmas, you have your lovely Christmas season until 6th January, or even longer if you wish. I don’t know actually whether it’s a norm in other countries too that Christmas season can last for longer. But for us, it’s as long as until 2nd February. That’s how long you can “officially” sing Christmas carols, and you can still see Christmas trees and other christmasy decorations in like mid January in lots of houses. People are eating up their ginger breads, visiting all those whom they weren’t able to visit on Christmas and giving them presents, etc.

At least to me, that makes much more sense, and that’s how things are in my house. If we have some stuff to do that needs more preparations, or that we don’t want to do in a rush, we will of course do it earlier, not in the last minute, but that’s usually not until the December starts. From what I know, in other countries which celebrate Advent, it can start at different times, but for us it’s roughly last Sunday of November or first Sunday of December.

Our family tradition related to Christmas is that we can’t do without pierogi with cabbage and mushrooms on Christmas Eve’s dinner. I suppose you all know what pierogi are, but if you don’t, I’ll tell you it’s a dish, made of dough, and they can have various stuffings. The Christmas pierogi are usually with cabbage and mushrooms. We all love it except for my Dad, and both me and my siblings find it the best and absolutely necessary element of Christmas Eve dinner, ’cause other than that it’s mainly fish, and neither of us is too keen on fish. Particularly my brother loves these pierogi.

So they have to be prepared earlier, and our poor Mum usually makes a whole lot of them so that there will be enough of them for the whole Christmas season, so no one would whine that they are already gone. They wait in the refridgerator until Christmas Eve.

As for the Christmas decorations, we usually get a Christmas tree and decorate it just a couple of days before Christmas Eve, and sometimes even on Christmas Eve morning. Same with other decorations, which had been mostly made by my Mum, or things that we have since many years and don’t change them. Our Christmas tree rarely stands for a long time, Mum usually wants to get rid of it quickly as she hates the needles on the floor, and Misha is usually very determined to climb up on it, take off the decorations and eat the branches, but we don’t want an artificial one.

Me and Zofijka really like making gingerbreads, but we don’t always do them, but if we do, it’s also usually about a week before Christmas. The rest of food is made later.

Buying presents is a thing that is quite time consuming and sometimes might be a little bit of a hassle, but for us it always seems to go rather smoothly, I buy all of the things I want to give people or myself online about a week before Christmas or so, or I go buy them with Mum when there is another opportunity and we have a bit of a time for it.

And of course Mum does a big cleaning a couple days before Christmas, but, if I’m honest with you, my Mum is a little bit of a stickler and for me it doesn’t seem as that big house cleaning is particularly different or bigger than any other casual cleaning, (but don’t tell her I said this πŸ˜‰ ).

In the past, our Christmases used to look very festive and familial and loud, and, of course it’s nice to see all your family, have a lot of yummy food and stuff, but it was always quite challenging and anxiety provoking for me, and in a way I didn’t particularly like it. Since a couple of years though, we have our Christmas Eve dinner at home – we always had it with grandparents in the past – and then, after the dinner with just my parents and siblings and Misha, we go for a while to grandparents and generally my Mum’s family, until it’s time for the Midnight Mass. And last year, apart from that, we weren’t celebrating too festively, we spent time mostly together, without extended family, and it was calm and not overly euphoric.A

And that would be all as for my Christmas preparations and stuff, and as you see, they’re neither big, nor particularly early, it’s also that I myself don’t have much to prepare other than buying presents for people, I don’t have my own house so luckily I don’t have to do the big house cleaning, it could be quite disastrous and then indeed it could be a good idea that I should start it straight after Halloween. πŸ˜€

And I am happy that in our family it’s clear what we are celebrating.

OK, so what’s YOUR view on this? And how early or late do you personally prepare for Christmas? Do you like it? πŸ™‚

Word of the week – gwyliau.

This week’s word is a Welsh one, and, like the last one which was Polish, it is also very summery, and, to me, sounds very cute.

This word is gwyliau, gwyliau means holidays. I don’t think there is a better word in any language to describe holidays.

The singular form of gwyliau is gwyl, which, in the accent I am learning – which is northern welsh – is pronounced: /Ι‘uːɨ̯l/ .

Why do I like this word so much?

First of all, because it sounds just like summer holidays. So idyllic and warm. And cute. It sounds different than the last week’s word, but it has so many similar associations for me.

When I hear the word gwyliau, my synesthetic associations that come to my mind are berry fruit, their shape and taste, lapping streams, shining sun, laughing children. Another association – rather unrelated to the holidays, but definitely sensory – are balls of a ball bearing, a rather small one. I was often playing with balls from bearings as a kid and there are words that I associate with them for some reason. πŸ˜€ I often associate words with things I touched often as a little child. Gwyliau, also similarly to the last week’s word lipiec, sounds quite “round” to me, and maybe that’s why I associate it with it. Also, when I think of gwyliau, I think of fresh peas, also quite summery thing.

But, there’s yet another reason to why I love the word gwyliau. It sounds quite similar to my crush’s name, Gwilym, or Gwil. There are lots of similar words in Welsh, that sound similar to the name Gwilym, like gwylio – to watch – for example. And I LOVE them all!!! They’re so cute, so beautiful, so… gwilicious! πŸ˜€

I also have an audiofile for you, with my Welsh speech synthesiser saying gwyliau, so that you know how it sounds exactly. Her accent is southern, if it makes any difference for you.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/uke5tkw8il3t1cw/Gwyliau.mp3?dl=0

What comes to your mind when you hear gwyliau? DO you like this word? Does it remind you of holidays, or rather something different?

Question of the day.

Which is your favourite holiday of the year and why?

My answer:

Honestly? I don’t know if I have any really favourite holiday. I always liked when any bigger holidays came when I was at school, firstly because I could go home, and secondly because I didn’t have to go to school and do all those boring things. But at the same time I’ve always kind of disliked any holidays because then it meant I’d have to be in front of many other people – my family, but still, a lot of them – visit them very often, eat in front of big groups of people, sit behind the table and be so damn bored hearing them talking about the same things every time. Nothing exciting. And now, I have another reason to not like holidays, I feel. My Dad, he’s going just insane recently. I always knew he has paranoid tendencies and is this kind of pessimist who is simply toxic to their surroundings, wanting everyone else to feel what he feels, so not be happy of anything, think what he thinks, like what he likes and do what he does, and very egocentrical at the same time, but I’d never think it would become so strong in his personality. He is just toxic to all of us, of course my Mum suffers the most. And, since we moved to our current house more than a year ago (we lived with Mum’s family on one backyard before) our holidays are just so listless, languid and sluggish and mournful as my Dad is recently. He was resentful for all the world for some reason that only he knows and was either grumbling at everyone, or complaining about anything and everything, or sleeping in front of the TV, or poluting the atmosphere in any other way. I mean, we, or at least me, and I know my Mum too, tried to not care about it and other than that my Easter time was very nice overall, but he just pisses me of so much and, if I’m honest, scares too, and this is the way our holidays look always since we moved here. And not only holidays, but holidays in particular because he doesn’t go to work then, so the only people he can intoxicate are we, although I don’t know if he does it to other people too, or just reserves it for his family. I also don’t want to say he’s all bad when I say he’s more and more toxic and seeing himself as perfect and everyone else as the worst and wanting to harm him, but things are getting worse and worse and he’s getting on my nerves pretty much lately, so that I consciously avoid him all the time, which I didn’t do even a year ago. I’m afraid to think what it will be like in let’s say 10 years, or even sooner…

So yeah, holidays are nice, but I don’t have any most favourite and I am as much glad when they come, as when they are over.

What is your favourite holiday? πŸ™‚