Question of the day.

What should exist, but doesn’t?

My answer:

Some kind of brain cloud or something like that. I mean cloud as in a server. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who has such ideas. Plus something that would make the integration between the human brain and such cloud possible, of course. I’m not sure how exactly it would work in detail as I have little idea about such things, and this is probably not realistic to be a thing ever, but I’d like such a thing from which you could transfer things like information or skills to your brain so that it could process it and incorporate as part of what it knows and can do. Think about learning languages this way. 😀 There wouldn’t be any need for schooling or anything, you just sort of download whatever sets of skills and information you need and you’re ready to go and do your job. And also maybe we could incorporate new experiences this way without actually experiencing them physically so we’d know what different experiences feel like. But also, this cloud would be able to store all things that already are in your brain, if this is doable in any way, for example to somehow keep one’s memories in such a cloud and be able to retrieve them or something, for example when your physical brain gets amnesiac, or share them with people if you want. It would all be encrypted by default, and then when you’d die, you could state it in your will who, if anyone, do you want to inherit your brain legacy and people will gain access to whatever you let them have access to, or you can choose to have everything destroyed completely right in the moment when you die, or perhaps do some other things with it, like let your online brain copy keep floating there forever and think it’s immortal. I think it would be handy having a copy of your brain, and also having a sort of database from which you could pull things into your brain, but if such a thing would be realistic at all, I realise it’ll probably be also a great marketing/political toy and thus would have a lot of downsides to it in practice.

What is such a thing in your opinion? 🙂

Question of the day.

If there was one thing you could ask your future self, what would it be?

My answer:

That’s easy. Do you still live with Misha and if not, who does he live with? Or, if he has died by then, how are you even coping with it, or maybe you are not? What’s life like without Misha, after having lived with Misha? More than one question, but all about one thing, so I guess it’s not cheating.

You? 🙂

A letter to my 33-year-old self.

Continuing with the

Letter Writing Challenge

today I am writing a letter to my older – 33-year-old – self.

Dear Bibiel, because I believe that, if you are still there, you are still Bibiel, deep down, aren’t you?

Remember me? I’m your younger self. How’s life going for you right now? What are you doing today? I must say I’m quite curious what you would write to me, but since you have more important things to do at the moment, I assume, I decided to write to you first, and hope to get a response, someday.

I wanted to remind you that, wherever you are at in your life right now, whether you like it and are satisfied with it, or not and are struggling a lot, everything is transient in life. I’m sure you know that better than me but it’s easy to forget about it in everyday life. I also want to remind you about another cliche thing that I’m sure you know, but I want you to never forget it, that no matter where you are, and what people are surrounding you, or maybe you’re alone or lonely, no matter whether you like it or not, what you are doing and what life is like, what is going on with the world and what challenges you are having to face, you have your brain. Use it. You know I am not talking about thinking, although that’s important too especially that we humans seem to be worse and worse at it and get tired of thinking more and more easily, and I don’t expect this trend has changed in the world where you live. I am talking about coping with things. I hope you are surrounded by supportive people, even if it is mostly or exclusively online as is the case with me, and that you are privileged to be able to support other people and do it as much as you can, but even if you do, and especially if you do not, it is important to know that no one will help you more than you can help yourself, and that you can’t rely too much on other people. Your brain is your fortress so do use it, as much as possible, especially when all else fails, and don’t forget about your Brainworld, it is always there.

How is Misha doing?… Does he still live with you or did you move somewhere and leave Misha with your family? I hope that if you live on your own, you weren’t selfish and possessive enough to take him with you, if you did, know that I loathe you for that. Well, unless some miracle happened and you are able to take proper care of him and provide him with all that he deserves. On the other hand I hope you do not live with Zofijka, because as much as she is a sweet kid, I know you would have a very hard life living just with her, or possibly her family, since you both are quite clashy and neither of you would be happy long term. I also hope that you didn’t have to bring your emergency plan into life, if it did have to happen by now, I hope you are managing and have something that brings joy into your life, and that it isn’t as bad as it used to be. At the same time I congratulate you for being a very courageous Bibiel, courageous enough to make it happen and I know it must have been a very difficult decision, and its outcomes are certainly no less difficult. Most of all though, I hope you will never have to do that.

How is your language learning going? I hope you can continue with it and it’s exciting to think that you may be able to speak even more languages than I can. As you may realise, I am in a faza limbo right now, or I hope that this is a limbo, and not the end of everything, as I sometimes feel. Please tell me that it’s not the end, and that you have a faza!

You may also remember, that at the time I’m writing to you, the world is going through the coronavirus outbreak. I’d be curious to hear from you what you think about it, looking back. Were you scared of it at any point? Did it affect you?

Looking forward to hear from you in the future and sending you a little piece of Mishfur, and a little Mishpurrr, with this letter, in case you forgot how it feels and sounds.

Bibiell

*****

I thought I’d clarify one thing in the letter, so that no one has any doubts. One of my readers was concerned that my “emergency plan” was suicide, and after re-reading this, I agree that it is easy to draw such a conclusion. But it was not what I meant, and it isn’t anything dangerous and unsafe. Just something I am not particularly looking forward to, but will do if I have to. I may have a lot of passive suicidal ideations in the background of my brain but I am stable enough at this time in my life that I don’t make active plans or anything like that, and I would definitely trigger warn this post if it was about suicide even indirectly.

 

Lenka – “Crystal Ball”.

Hi people. 🙂

I guess as for my standards, assuming that I have any, Lenka is pretty mainstream, but I do like her. Mostly because someone whom I like likes her so I have quite nice associations, but her music and her voice is really pleasant. I guess this is one of her newest songs, and for me it’s a real brainworm. I like it. 🙂

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Question of the day.

What do you hope for in the next few months?

My answer:

The first thing that comes to my mind is for Misha to settle down, I mean I’d like him to feel comfortable now that Sasha is with us. He is getting better and better, but I can still feel he’s very insecure at times.

I also hope that I’ll be able to catch up quickly on all that time I was not able to ride. By the way, haven’t updated you guys on that, I’m going to the stud tomorrow and ride for half an hour. Usually it’s a full hour, but this time, because I’m still having this yucky skin infection, it’s gonna be half an hour, I don’t want to irritate it more, but I also don’t want to wait God knows how much longer until it heals. Oh yes and I hope my leg heals quickly, not for months as always.

I hope for doing some more visible progress in therapy. I can see that at this point there is something going on but so far it’s very small progress and I hope that with time I’ll go a bit further. And I hope I’ll get funding for all the tech stuff I need, or at least for a new Braille-Sense, my old one, as you may remember, is Zofijka’s age, so quite a senior as for a tech device, and is driving me crazy more and more with each day. So I also hope that in case I won’t get the funding, I’ll have the patience to get me through it all.

What are your hopes? 🙂

3 Day Lyric Challenge – day one – Ider – You’ve Got Your Whole Life Ahead Of You Baby.

Finally I’m getting to do this challenge!

Over a month ago I was nominated by

Ghostmmnc

for Three Day Lyric Challenge. Thank you again so much.

However, as my loyal readers know, I was unable to write it for nearly the whole month of September because of my laptop being fixed.

And when I finally got it, I started to wonder, what to share with you guys as part of this challenge. ‘Cause, obviously, as you can easily see, I listen to a whole lot of music, and it often has very interesting lyrics imo. But so often it is in other languages! And there are so often no translations available! And often even if I know what the lyrics generally are about, I don’t feel competent enough to make a translation myself, especially that English isn’t my native language. And even English music that I listen to, is often so niche that you might not find any lyrics at times. SO yeah, that was a bit tricky. But finally, I’ve got some ideas. So here we go:

   Rules:

 

1 Thank the person who nominated you.

2 Share one of your favorite song/lyrics one at a time for three days.

3 Nominate three other bloggers each day.

So the song I have today for you is just sooo much about me right now! Because, just as the person speaking in this song, and just as those two girls of the band Ider, I’m in my twenties,and having more or less the same dilemmas.

Ider is an English band, consisting of two roommates from London, and they’re undoubtedly very talented girls, and having always very interesting and thought-provoking lyrics.

   Ider – “You’ve GOt Your Whole Life Ahead Of You, Baby” – lyrics.

[Verse 1]

I’m in my 20s

So I panic in every way

I’m so scared of the future

I keep missing today

How did you do it?

How did it turn out alright?

I swear it’s always easier back then

Or is it just hindsight?

 

[Chorus]

They keep telling me

“You’ve got your whole life ahead of you, baby

Don’t worry, don’t stress, do your best”

What if that doesn’t save me?

They say “If I could go back and do it again

I would’ve wasted all my money

Would’ve slept with all my friends” but you didn’t

‘Cause you had your whole life ahead of you, baby

 

[Verse 2]

I don’t dare shut my eyes

I don’t wanna miss a thing

I don’t wanna let you down

I don’t wanna disappoint me

I won’t stop looking at others

Thinking that’s where I should be

I’m trying to enjoy myself, love myself

Who the fuck is myself?

 

[Chorus]

But they keep telling me

“You’ve got your whole life ahead of you, baby

Don’t worry, don’t stress, do your best”

What if that doesn’t save me?

They say “If I could go back, if I was still young

I would’ve cared less, made more mistakes to learn from”

But you didn’t ’cause you had your whole life ahead of you, baby

 

[Bridge]

How did you make it work out? Don’t tell me you faked it

Should I be changing it now or am I too late?

Could just be me or maybe our generation

Still they say “Be patient, it’s all meant to be

You’ve got your whole life ahead of you, baby

You’ve got your whole life ahead of you, baby”

 

[Chorus]

They say “If I could go back and do it again

I would’ve wasted all my money

Would’ve slept with all my friends” but you didn’t

‘Cause you had your whole life ahead of you, baby

 

[Outro]

They say “If I could go back and do it again, do it again…”

They say “If I could go back and do it again…”

 

   My nominees:

Lauren at

A Gentlewoman And A Scholar,

Laura at

All The Shoes I Wear

and Astrid at

A Multitude Of Musings

Hope you will enjoy this song. 🙂

 

Question of the day.

Is there anything you’re looking forward to?

My answer:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. We’ll be going to Hel. No, not to hell. 😀 Actually we have a village nearby that is literally called something like Little Hell, but we’re going neither to big or little hell. We’re going to the Hel Peninsula with only one l. Mum, Zofijka, our cousin Dominika and me. We’re going there by train. We’ll have a walk at the beach, the girls will maybe go see the sealarium and we’ll have ice cream, or waffles. I think that’s nice. I’m looking forward to it and I feel like I really need to go out of the house but somewhere else than to our extended family or to do something that needs to be done, I’ll be glad to go.

Also I’m looking forward to my nameday and going with Mum to the Italian restaurant and doing other fun things together. And I’m looking forward to Zofijka’s swimming camp. Zofijka finishes the school year on Friday and we all know she’s always very bored when she doesn’t go to school. It’s not like she likes school, that stage is gone, but she finds it hard to play or find herself things to do on her own, she constantly needs the company, even to watch her playing and admire her, and sometimes it’s pretty annoying for all of us. So I’ll be happy when she’ll go if she’ll be enjoying it. And I think she will.

Anotehr thing I’m looking forward is finishing my current Welsh course level and starting the new one, as well as starting my new Swedish course to improve my skills in this language.

And I’m looking forward to tell you about my two new blogging ideas, particularly about my name game, and I’m terribly curious what you will think about it guys.

Oh, and I am looking forward to 27th June. Not like I’m gonna do anything special on that day, although maybe I’ll come up with something, but it will be the fourth year since I left the boarding school for good, and of course I’m very glad about it and I’m glad so much time has passed since then and that I’ve done so much in that time. In a way it feels very little, but I know that I was able to progress a lot in many fields and process lots of stuff. Maybe I’ll buy tons of junk food and just have a big big treat. 😀

And yes, I’m loking forward, more and more impatiently, for my finals results. It’s slowly driving me crazy you have to wait for them for so long. But I’m sure there are thousands of other graduates across the whole country who are far more stressed about their results, who know what they’d like to do with their lives but all depends on those stupid exams.

What are you looking forward to, if anything? 🙂