Question of the day.

Where do you shop for your groceries? Do you like food shopping, at all?

My answer:

Most often, one of my parents buy my groceries. They buy things for all of us and if I want anything particular then I just give them money and they get it for me when they go grocery shopping. Usually if my Dad is at home then he is doing grocery shopping. Because it seems like he likes it. We usually shop in our local shops, or in Lidl, or another chain of shops which is Polish and called Biedronka, which means Ladybug. Also I buy some food online from time to time, but it’s more like snacks or stuff that’s not available here in the area, or if I want to make a present for someone. I pretty often do online shopping in Tesco.

As for whether I like food shopping, I certainly like it more than clothes shopping. It’s not something I’d love, but I like it, unless it’s not too crowdy.

How about you? Do you like food shopping? 🙂

Question of the day.

What is the last thing you watched?

My answer:

The only thing I watch regularly nowadays is “Rownd A Rownd” (Round And Round) a series on S4C which is a Welsh language channel in UK, and some programmes are also available outside. I watch this series because of linguistic reasons, but of course after some time you involve into it. And also my current crush has played in it for a while, that’s another reason. So that was the last thing I watched.

You? 🙂

Question of the day.

Is there anything you’re looking forward to?

My answer:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. We’ll be going to Hel. No, not to hell. 😀 Actually we have a village nearby that is literally called something like Little Hell, but we’re going neither to big or little hell. We’re going to the Hel Peninsula with only one l. Mum, Zofijka, our cousin Dominika and me. We’re going there by train. We’ll have a walk at the beach, the girls will maybe go see the sealarium and we’ll have ice cream, or waffles. I think that’s nice. I’m looking forward to it and I feel like I really need to go out of the house but somewhere else than to our extended family or to do something that needs to be done, I’ll be glad to go.

Also I’m looking forward to my nameday and going with Mum to the Italian restaurant and doing other fun things together. And I’m looking forward to Zofijka’s swimming camp. Zofijka finishes the school year on Friday and we all know she’s always very bored when she doesn’t go to school. It’s not like she likes school, that stage is gone, but she finds it hard to play or find herself things to do on her own, she constantly needs the company, even to watch her playing and admire her, and sometimes it’s pretty annoying for all of us. So I’ll be happy when she’ll go if she’ll be enjoying it. And I think she will.

Anotehr thing I’m looking forward is finishing my current Welsh course level and starting the new one, as well as starting my new Swedish course to improve my skills in this language.

And I’m looking forward to tell you about my two new blogging ideas, particularly about my name game, and I’m terribly curious what you will think about it guys.

Oh, and I am looking forward to 27th June. Not like I’m gonna do anything special on that day, although maybe I’ll come up with something, but it will be the fourth year since I left the boarding school for good, and of course I’m very glad about it and I’m glad so much time has passed since then and that I’ve done so much in that time. In a way it feels very little, but I know that I was able to progress a lot in many fields and process lots of stuff. Maybe I’ll buy tons of junk food and just have a big big treat. 😀

And yes, I’m loking forward, more and more impatiently, for my finals results. It’s slowly driving me crazy you have to wait for them for so long. But I’m sure there are thousands of other graduates across the whole country who are far more stressed about their results, who know what they’d like to do with their lives but all depends on those stupid exams.

What are you looking forward to, if anything? 🙂

They let me out.

Hhrrru?

It’s your boring Misha again. How you’re guys doing? Did something interesting happen to you?

I had a big adventure last weekend. Mum let me go with her on the terrace, but she said she’ll let me stay only if I’d be calm and peaceful. I tried to be, or at least pretended to be. Mum sat in the armchair and chatted to me for a while but then did her own thing. She sunbathed and phoned someone and they talked really reeeeeally long. And I realised she doesn’t care about me at all. So I stopped caring about being calm and peaceful, how could I be if there was such a gorgeous opportunity for me. I was sitting under Mum’s armchair but I sneaked out on to the roof and then on the grass. I was free! Free again! I walked majestically around, looking at the world around me like a king, I couldn’t believe my luck. Now I could explore the world! My dream has come true! I was quite surprised that no one is running after me, but they weren’t. Mum didn’t see anything. I managed to have a bit of a walk around the backyard until they realised. I heard Zofijka screaming “Look, he’s there! There! Neear the river!”, she sounded terrified. And then, Zofijka and Dad started to chase me. Zofijka yelled Miiiiiiishaaaaa!!! Miiiiishaaaa! But I wouldn’t stop. I ran very fast. Finally Dad stopped me. And he was cross with me, you know? Everyone was. Stupid sun, and my fur, if my fur wasn’t so shiny, Zofijka wouldn’t notice me. I was very sad that my adventure finished so quickly. Did they really think I wouldn’t ever come back? I just wanted to explore the world, and I would come back when I’d finish. But Mum started to lecture me like a baby that someone could steal me, or other animals could scratch me or even eat me. But I like other animals. If they saw I like them, they would like me to, wouldn’t they? I want to meet other animals and play with them. But sadly, Mum decided that from now on, she won’t even let me go on the terrace, because it only makes me more nerevous and more wanting to go out than when I’m at home. That’s so sad.

But it wasn’t the end of my adventures. Two days later, I woke up veery early and was hungry but I’ve already had eaten everything I had in my bowl in the evening and everyone was asleep so no one could feed me. So I went upstairs to Mila and meowed at her to let me in and give me some snacks. So she did, and then we both went back to bed and cuddled. And she stroked my head and massaged my ears as I like it and then she saw I have something on my ear. She was looking at it but she couldn’t figure out what it is. And then she showed it to Mum. And Mum screamed: “Oh! Misha’s got a tick!”. And then, the fuss started. Everyone was looking at me and touching my ear and asking how it happened, and Mum said there’s no other way than that I got him at my little Sunday walk. They were terrified. Honestly? I was too. Because after they brought me home after my walk Zofijka lectured me about the ticks and that they suck all the blood out of you and then you’re weaker and weaker and you suddenly die! That was so scary. I was veery scared. And what now? Am I gonna die? I was very, very, very afraid of death. I didn’t want to die. I could even swear that I won’t ever go out again if I could stay alive. I wanted to live. I love my life. And what will my lovely peeps do without me? and, what’s even more concerning, what will I do without them?

They finally left me and I was walking arund in confusion, waiting for when I’ll get weak. I could feel it getting down my veins in search of blood… or maybe I just had chills of fear… whatever it was, it was scary. Peoples rushed around and I don’t even know how and when, but finally I ended up in my basket, the one that always stands on Mila’s bed, which is also my transporter, and someone put the cover on it so that I couldn’t get out. I closed my eyes. Are they going to bury me when I’m still alive? Or maybe they will throw me away in this basket and live me alone because they are afraid of ticks? Oh, I really regretted my Sunday escapade, I regretted it so so much. If I had another chance, I wouldn’t escape again. They placed me on the floor and I looked at them as I could from my basket and they looked like they’re going out somewhere. Maybe they put me into this basket because they want to be sure I won’t escape now. Stupid peeps! Do they think I would do this again to get another tick. I felt sick and didn’t know if it is of fear, or because I was dying. Mum asked Mila and Zofijka if they want to go with her and Misha. “Where are they taking me?” – I thought anxiously. Zofijka said “Yess yess!” and Mila said she would stay home because she is sure I’ll have enough moral support from them both and she is too doting for me and always feels upset when I hurt. Is someone going to hurt me? I was seriously scared, more and more. Is my death going to be painful? Was I really such a bad kitty? I sighed, there wasn’t much I could do now, and lied down in my little, comfy bed, closing my eyes. Then someone picked me up and carried somewhere for a long long time, opening and closing different doors, and finally they placed me somewhere where it was very noisy. I startled and someone stroked me. I opened my eyes. It was Zofijka. And I was in the car.

As much as I like going out, even on the leash, if I can go out where I want, I hate being in the car. It’s so noisy and boring and everything is rocking. But I was too confused to even meow, I meowed only once during that neverending ride.

They carried me out, and into some room. And there were other animals. But I wasn’t happy to see them. I was rather stressed. I didn’t know where I am and what’s going to happen and what they’re doing here. I’m used to myself being the only animal in the house, other animals are outside – on the backyard or in the forest, so I was shocked seeing them all in one room, and they seemed upset too. And they were held by people too. Zofijka stroked me and reassured me.

And then I felt a massive relief. Mum was talking to someone and told them she wanted the vet to see me and remove the tick… Aaaah! So I just went to the doctor. So maybe I’m not gonna die? Maybe they’ll save me.

The doctor saw me soon and he called me Mishka and was very nice. I was afraid it would hurt when he’d remove the tick, but I was a big, brave boy and I didn’t meow and it didn’t hurt almost at all.

Zofijka patted me on my head slightly and whispered to me “You see? It’s over. You’re alive! But don’t try escaping again. That tick wasn’t clever and fast enough, but next time you might not be so lucky”. I was so happy it was over.

Mum asked the doctor to weigh me and examine me, and he prescribed me some pills for worms. I wanted to ask Zofijka about worms, whether they also can suck the blood of you, but thought I’d rather not do it, what if they do too? It’s better when you don’t know some things. And now as I took those pills, hopefully I’m not going to have worms, if I’ve ever had any.

I will also have blood test in two weeks. I’ve never had one before. But I’m not scared. What I’m pissed off about is that I won’t be allowed to eat the evening before and then in the morning. They want to starve me to death!

When we got out of there, Mum bought me EIGHT CANS of my favourite tomato sauce. I’m lucky with my peeps.

Later that day, I told myself I’m not gonna EVER escape again.

Do you think I’ll succeed?

And what adventures have you had lately?

Mishpurrs

Misa

Question of the day.

Do you chew on your pens?

My answer:

Obviously enough – I don’t. 😀 I did, or still do, chew on other things though. I’ve mentioned a few times that when I was a little kid, I had a lot of autistic-like behaviours including stimming, and chewing too. Even later on, when I didn’t have as many of those behaviours or autistic traits, I’ve still had some stims, plus I was a very fidgety kid and had a handful of “soothing” behaviours, or whatever it was. I’ve had a tiny little glass bear when I was in primary, and although it was glass, so maybe it wasn’t the most practical idea, I liked to use it for stimming. I tossed it in my hands when I was bored or something and I often chewed on its ears, when I was thinking about something intensively or was bored. 😀

Nowadays, I don’t rather chew on objects around me, but I very very often chew on my lip. I’ve told you before that I am terrible nailbiter, but I guess my lip chewing is even more addictive. When I was younger I often picked it, but very luckily finally I managed to unlearn it, almost completely, then I tried to at least limit my nailbiting and cuticle picking, and then I started to intensively chew and bite on my lip and I didn’t really notice the moment when it started to be something regular. I try to unlearn it and stop it when I notice it, but the thing is I often just do it unconsciously and then I find myself doing it after some time already. That’s annoying. I do it whenever I’m bored, focusing on something, overloaded, frustrated, stressed out, trying to not show my feelings, insecure, very often. I think that actually I’m lucky because my lips still look decent, they looked much worse when I was younger and picking them, and I’ve never had any major infections of them so far, or any significant bleeding although I can bite it very intensively at times. I even had a situation when I woke up and realised I had to chew on my lip while sleeping. 😀 I’d really like to unlearn it, not only because it’s unappealing for others, unhealthy for me, but also because if your lips are hurting, it’s quite an issue to eat spicy food and enjoy it, he he, and if you eat it then it usually heals slower. But I still hope I’ll someday get rid of it as I got rid of other stuff, it usually happened with time.

Do YOU chew on your pens? Or anything else?

Question of the day.

Is there some insider knowledge that only people in your line of work have?

My answer:

Haha, surely, but I don’t have it. My work situation is a little bit odd, at least I see it this way. For those of you who don’t know I work at my Dad’s company, because it is lucrative for both of us, for me mainly because I can have some money I can either save for the future or use for just my own needs – since we all live together as a family I don’t need to buy myself basic stuff like food etc. so just the things I want/need just for myself, and I save the rest, so most of it. My Dad is a tank driver, he delivers fuel, and I’m officially something like his secretary, unofficially I help him out with everything he can do that I can do, so mostly techy stuff because he can barely type and is not willing to learn, or language stuff because there are people from different countries he delivers fuel to, so English comes in handy, and even Swedish sometimes too.

I can sure tell you there is a lot of stuff tank drivers know that no one else on Earth would even care about or be interested in, while they – tank drivers – assume you’re just utterly stupid to not know all those things. The thing is I don’t have a clue about them, don’t have to know much about that stuff, and don’t want to cus it’s just boring.

I wouldn’t suppose though there can be much things that are known exclusively to office workers, no offence to office workers or anything, but it’s just not a very niche thing, I mean, or maybe I don’t see anything enigmatic about this job.

But I can also say that lots of environments that I am a part of have a lot of such insider knowledge. It’s not because it’s some “professional secrecy” or anything, just other people don’t ask us, and we assume it all is obvious.

As a language geek I know a lot of things that could be completely useless for anyone who isn’t a language geek, about linguistics, or some particular languages, or dialects, or other related stuff, and it all just circulates among the language geeks, not going anywhere outside cus who would care how are Finnish and Hungarian related to each other and what they have in common practically, or what are mutations in Celtic languages, or how does it feel to have wet dreams dreaming in Zulu etc.

I think the same regards blind people community although in a bit different way because in contrast to language geeks, there’s definitely a point in exchanging information between sighted and blind people so that the two groups can understand each other better and avoid many issues, conflicts etc. Likewise I would say about the community of people struggling with mental illnesses. It may feel annoying to explain things to people all the time and there are some people who will never be able to understand some things, but they’re a minority and still I think we should educate others about how it feels to be us, to struggle with our conditions, we should give them a chance to see it not just assume they should know it. And healthy/ablebodied people should be empathetic and open-minded, and then it would be just ideally.

As for my own very insider knowledge as a blind person with mental illnesses and other odds and quirks, I can say that what intrigues people if I decide to reveal it to them is my sleep paralysis and all the related stuff. There haven’t been many people in my surroundings that I told about it, in details I only talked about it with my Mum and it was still very hard to actually describe what it’s like, firstly because I just couldn’t find words for it and secondly because sometimes even talking about it may feel scary in a way, anyway whoever I wouldn’t talk about it too, they always seem intrigued, and can’t hide it. I don’t have nothing against, well it intrigued me too for years until I just got used to it. Those dreams I have are certainly anything but normal.

My – as I call it – “silence anxiety”, as well as the “sound anxiety”, if I decide to mention about it to anyone, also seems to be of interest. but it’s even harder to talk to people about it.

Also my synesthesia and related stuff are very interesting for people and for me too – like the fact that I can link sounds with factures or tastes or that whole thing with names I wrote about not so long ago.

Some are very excited when I need to mention I’d been using Doses or doing stuff like OOBE, and often ask how it feels, which in this case is very embarrassing for me because I simply hate that part of my life very deeply and it’s just all… let’s say complicated, I’m too sleepy to come out with something more adequate and creative. 😀 Although I’m not surprised that people want to know how it feels, it can be certainly interesting in a way, if it wouldn’t, I wouldn’t ever do it, I guess.

and of course like (I guess) all the blind people I get tons of questions like how I dream, how I type, can I feel colours, do I use echolocation, why I am not like other blind people they know, why I don’t have a guide dog, whether I’ve had any surgeries for my eyes, how I imagine their faces, do I need to touch every single thing while I’m shopping to know what it is, are my other senses supersharp because I can’t see, and so on and so forth.

Sometimes you can doubt in everything but I guess if people ask, they truly want to know and truly want to learn, although sometimes really wish they could also think a bit on their own before they ask, and if they really want to ask, be more constructive, because sometimes it’s hard to not snort with laugh at someone asking “Oh, how did you know I am here if you can’t see?” 😀

Mental healthwise I’ve had much more serious situations, some even kinda traumatising I’d say, with completely ignorant people at the boarding school and other places like that, who, to give you a short and sweet example, wanted to diagnose me with schizophrenia because I wasn’t meeting their expectations – was different than other kids basically –
and created my own imaginary creatures called Parpills about whom I was writing a book and they accused me that I think that they exist. But with this kind of situations it wasn’t only me going through similar stuff, also kids who didn’t have any mental health issues.

What is some insider knowledge in your environment? 🙂

If it’s a bit embroiled or not very logical or stylistical then I’m very sorry, I’m having a Zombie day and am going to soon go off to sleep, but just wanted to write something constructive today, will look at it and edit tomorrow, but suppose it’s quite consistent. 😀

Question of the day (10th June).

Is there a movie quote you use on a regular basis?

My answer:

Hmmm, there might be, but right now I can’t think of anything. However my Mum and Dad use a lot of movie quotes so I sometimes just pick them up unconsciously, perhaps not even knowing it’s a movie quote.

How about you? 🙂

Question of the day.

What’s the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten?
My answer:
Hmmmm… the spiciest thing? That’s a tricky one… because I’ve eaten so many spicy things, I love spicy things, and sometimes people say they’re so spicy that they’re uneatable, but I like them. I really can’t recall something that would be so spicy that I just couldn’t eat it, would choke or have red eyes or something. And, if I’m honest, I’d like to eat something like this once to feel how it is. I don’t know what’s wrong, whether I am sorta too immune to spicy things or people around me are too sensitive, but it just needs to be very very spicy for others to affect me at all. I can’t say I like ANYTHING spicy, I think there should be more to a dish to like it then just that it’s spicy or salty or sweet, but I like the vast majority of spicy things. But… um… let’s think… recently we had tortilla and my mum got a very hot sauce to it, something starting with Z, it was just… heavenly, I just loved it so much, and yeah, it was spicy, my Mum couldn’t ieat it, Zofijka couldn’t, Olek didn’t even try, only me and my Dad could and it felt very hot, but I hope there are more spicy things in the world, if not, that’s a pity, because I believe it still could be more spicy and it could be even more heavenly, I believe there are spicier things haha. How about you? 🙂

Question of the day.

Share a link to a music video you think is great (not necessarily a great song but visual a very good video).

My answer:

Well I’m certainly not an expert at music videos (he he he), but I’ve been told this one is good. This singer – Kayah – was for a long time my Mum’s favourite female vocalist – my Mum likes kinda androgynous female singers, or black singers, like Sade for example, other than that she only listens to male vocalists, maybe because she herself is kinda tomboy. This woman is a very popular Polish celebrity, but sometime ago she started to come out with her views which were glaringly contrasting to my Mum’s, and so she doesn’t like her so much now anymore. But she watched this video and she says it’s beautiful and from what she told me it really seems so. When she showed it to me yesterday I got an impression it has a sorta pagan feel, on which my Mum agreed with me, today I realised it was purposeful to make it feel pagan, but it’s not too pagan as for my standards, like there’s nothing literally refering to any culture/religion or anything. It’s just about the relationship of the human with the nature, unity of a woman and a man, which are natural, beautiful and obvious things. You can also feel some old Slavic influences, I guess they were inspired by Slavic mythology or something. The guy who directed this is one of the directors of The Witcher, the composer of the song is atanas Valkov who is a Polish music producer, multiinstrumentalist and composer of Bulgarian descent. The song is called Czarna Polana (Black Glade). I think it sounds fantastic and the overall effect must be indeed beautiful.

I thought I’d translate the lyrics as they’re fairly easy so you’d get some idea what it’s about, although I’m sorry if it’s not quite the best stylistically:

   I am close

You do not have to be afraid anymore

You will find everything in me.

Because that is how much I can give.

When you are close

The world does not scare me

And when you give me your hand

It will become a whole.

I am nowhere without you

You are nowhere without me

I am nowhere without you, no

I am nowhere without you

You are nowhere without me

I am nowhere without you, no.

Always close

no need to be afraid anymore

You and me are one

As long as the life is lasting.

Coexistence.

I am nowhere without you

You are nowhere without me

I am nowhere without you, no

I am nowhere without you

You are nowhere without me

I am nowhere without you, no

I am nowhere without you

You are nowhere without me

I am nowhere without you, no

I am nowhere without you

You are nowhere without me

I am nowhere without you, no.

I am close

You do not have to be afraid anymore

You will find everything in me

Because that is how much I can give.

When you are close

The world does not scare me

And when you give me your hand

It will become a whole.

Yours? 🙂

Question of the day.

Where do you get most of the decorations for your home?

My answer:

Sometimes in secondhands, sometimes in various shops with some interesting trinkets, sometimes in our nearby Indian shop, and sometimes my Mum makes decorations by herself. It also depends in which room, cos for example Zofijka has a very typical teen room and all is from Ikea, or my brother has hardly any decorations.

How about you? 🙂

Question of the day.

Do you ever cut open packages or bottles (like schampoo bottles) to get the last of the product?

My answer:

Depends. Depends on what it is and how I like it. If it’s something good and I like it and it’s been veery useful for me, it happens that I do. But otherwise I’m not strict about doing so.

You. 🙂

Question of the day.

Do you wear makeup every day.

My answer:

Absolutely not. Moreover, I hardly ever wear makeup. There are four reasons for it. First – being blind and having other issues I can’t do it really well, so I have to rely on usually my Mum to do it for me. My Mum doesn’t like doing it even for herself, and I must say I am not a fan of people palpating my face and doing all those girly stuff just to look good for people for an hour or two, so why bother. 😀 There is always so much hassle around it, I just don’t need it on a daily or even weekly basis, it’s such a waste of time.

The second reason is that I don’t feel like I have enough rich social life to need to wear makeup often. And I don’t see much sense in wearing makeup staying at home just for yourself. Well some people say you should look good for yourself too to feel good with yourself and I agree, but I think makeup doesn’t change me that much plus I generally don’t like myself so can’t feel completely good with myself either way.

Third is that a whole lot of the cosmetics mess up with my skin and I am allergic to many of them.

And fourth is that usually I feel much better with myself being natural, sometimes it just embarrasses me when I have a lot of stuff on my face and feel a bit not like me.

So actually I don’t even remember when was the last time I had makeup on. I guess it could be sometime before Christmas, we were playing with Zofijka, we had an idea for a kinda crazy roleplay, and we both had tons of strong glaring makeup, high-heels, lots of jewellery and we looked very trashy and glittery on purpose and it was funny and ridiculous.

Sometimes I do darken and underline my eyebrows, even when I don’t go out anywhere, because I don’t like how thin and light they are naturally.

How about you? 🙂

Question of the day.

What kind of hairstyle do you have? What kind of hair type do you have?

My answer:

I have fringe since my early teens and I’ve had pretty short hair for quite a while already, like four years I guess, because it’s just easier for me. But I had a haircut last week and now they’re even shorter, I aim to a bob. As for my hair type, my hair is very very thick, everyone on my Mum’s side has extremely thick and strong hair. I had black hair for a long time, or in other very dark tones, there also was a while when I had it red like carrot red, but now I’m back to my natural colour, not because I like it, I don’t, but because it’s much less hassle around it and it’s more pragmatic. My natural hair is something in between dark blonde and very light brown, kind of mousey I guess.

How about yours? 🙂

Misha: so hot!

Hhrrru?

This is boring sleepy Misha again. I won’t bore you for a long time because I’m just too sleepy. This week’s been so so hot. I’ve slept through most of it. And I’m gonna go to sleep straight after I write this post. But I’ve also had some adventures this week too. My peoples have the terrace door open most of the time, they were barbecuing and stuff and it happened A FEW times this week that I was able to sneak out of the house. I was on the roof, it wasn’t my first time, as some of you maybe remember. I love climbing on the roof. It’s such a pity that such aristocrats like me can’t do it whenever they want and normal wild cats can do whatever they want. It should be the opposite, how do you think? Also one day the door was open, Zofijka forgot to close it, and I could just go out o the backyard. Oh boy was I happy! So very very happy! And free. I wanted to travel around the whole world and explore it and have adventures and meet other animals and play with them, fight with them, catch them, eat them… I ran through the whole backyard and then Mum realised I went out and started to chase me. So I ran away even faster. I was very determined to be free and have lots of adventures. But then other peoples also chased me and finally they caught me. I was so so mad, sad, and frustrated. I cried for hours. I wanted to go out and have at least one big adventure, travel somewhere, meet someone, but no… everyone can go out except for Misha. That’s so unfair. Someday I’ll do it for them, maybe in the next life. I’ll keep them home and will be going out when I want, wherever I want, and they will have to stay at home all the time. But now I’m not as mad as then and I am at least glad I could go out for a while and see the whole backyard. Unfortunately I didn’t see any animals.

Is it very hot too where you are, peoples and animals? Did you have some interesting adventures recently?

Sleep well everyone, I’m off to sleep.

Misha

Question of the day.

Have you watched any really good TV shows lately? What were they?

My answer:

Nope, I actually haven’t watched TV in weeks now. The only thing I watch pretty regularly for linguistic purposes is Welsh series called “Rownd A Rownd”, but practically it’s not TV as I watch it on my computer. But other than that if I watch TV, it’s either for social reasons – I watch it with my Mum and we talk about stuff, drink something, have snacks and not always actually focus on what we watch, or because I really like it and find it interesting while at the same time haven’t anything better to do, which happens very very rarely.

How about you?

Misha: sleepy week.

Hhrrru?

Misha here. How’s your week going, peoples and animals? Mine is very sleepy. Not much more has been going for me lately. I’ve got some yummy food, lots of tomato sauce. I luuuuuvvvvvvvv tomato sauce. Mum says I’m Italian, not Russian, because she thinks Italian peoples like t eat a lot of tomatoes, spaghetti and stuff. I don’t know how it really is, but if she’s right, I’d love to live in Italy. Tomato sauce is my favourite sauce, but I generally like everything saucy and thick. When I get meat in any kind of sauce and am not very hungry, I’ll usually eat the sauce and leave the meat hehehe. Dad is like me, and Olek too, but the girls say it’s weird and my culinary taste is disgusting. But I know it isn’t and that’s enough for me. Do you like thick sauces like me?

anyone else hates bread as much as me? I hate hate hate hate bread. I can’t understand why people eat so much of it. When I talked to Zofijka and Mila one day, they asked me what food I don’t like the most. And I said that I hate sandwiches with bread. And they were laughing because you only can have sandwiches with bread, even if it is a bread roll or something it’s still a bread after all. But I really really hate bread.

And yes I can talk to Mila and Zofijka. Well it’s just for fun, but I can. We play that I can connect to someone’s brain and if that person is connected to me too, I can talk through her, so either Mila or Zofijka. Usually it is Mila, because Zofijka never knows what I could talk about and doesn’t have many ideas hahahaha. We three talk a lot together particularly at the evenings and enjoy it.

But this week Mum has made up a new nickname for me. Remember I have tons of nicknames? They are good and bad and this time is rather bad but funny. Mum called me Sandwich Thief. Because I really had stolen the sandwich.

Olek made some for himself for work and then he left them in the kitchen and then a lot of stuff was happening and finally he forgot to take them. But I remembered about them. They smelled sooooo yummy. There was a lot of baked ham and yummy cheese, how could anyone forget such a yummy thing? So I just awaited the opportunity.

And it came. Everyone went out, only Mila was at home but she was sleeping. I sneaked into the kitchen, jumped on the countertop, grabbed the whole wrapping paper with sandwiches and very slowly and clumsily walked down and then dragged it out of the kitchen. I dragged it through the floor on the whole way to Mum’s room. It was hard and very very difficult, but it wasn’t my first time, I managed finally. I took it to Mum’s dressing room, where there is very quiet and cosily, a perfect atmosphere for a morning meal.

Now there was another effort ahead of me. I had to unwrap all that. I wasn’t new to it either. But I managed to unwrap only one sandwich. It was always something. I bit into it with delight. Well no, not into the bread. I left it of course. Yuck! I just ate ham and cheese. Mmmmmm yummmy! Looks like food tastes better when it’s stolen. But there was something else and I didn’t eat it. It was yuck ad smelled icky and I didn’t even lick it. Grrrrr! How can people eat such smelly things?

Of course they found out what I did and were mad, but I didn’t care. After all I still left all the other sandwiches for them, so what’s up? And I heard that smelly thing was onion, and when they realised that their being pissed off doesn’t impress me, they started to laugh that Misha is so very picky and doesn’t like onion. What normal being could like onion?! It sure isn’t normal to like onion!!! Now I know why Olek’s room is so smelly hahahahahaha only that the smell in his room is nicer for me. My Mum says it’s his socks that are smelly. You know I like peoples when they smell bad? I do. I like to smell people and sniff my nose in their clothes when they’re sweaty. Mum says I am a good tester when you want to check out who is caring enough about their hygiene hehehe. But I don’t like the smell of onion, that’s for sure. Mum says I’m very picky. But I like chips, and flowers. I love biting flowers. So much that when I was a very little Misha I wanted to bit all the flowers so desperately that I knocked out a few pots. And once my Mum got a decorative grass from our neighbours and I loved it so much that I munched on it all the time. And finally my stomach got upset and it was upset at me for three days so that I could barely eat anything and only lied and slept and had fever. Mum said then that it is a punishment for me because I’m too sneaky. But I’m still sneaky hehehe nothing has changed.

Mishhugs for everyone!

Misha

Question of the day.

I have to admit to having once…

My answer:

…tried to write a harlequin. It was a very serious idea. I was at the stage where I thought I maybe could make a living with writing, but didn’t quite know what I could write. I mean, I have written some poetry in the past and I write short stories or novellas very frequently, but… um, would anyone be interested in reading them? I hardly doubt it. So I was looking for some ideas what is selling well nowadays. You know, you can write for pleasure, but if you want to make a living with it, and be successful with it, make it be the only/basic thing you do for living as I wanted, you need to write about something that may really interest your readers. So I was researching. And one of the things I’ve read was that harlequins always sell well and are willingly read by women. I have to admit I had no idea about what the harlequin actually is. But I remembered a situation when I was much younger, just starting to write my first short stories that could be really worth something, and I showed one to my group at the boarding school. It was very light, kinda romantic stuff, maybe slightly mawkish, but well, I was like 12-13, certainly not older, and still I think it was pretty good because I settled it in 19th century Ireland and made it pretty realistic, and it was well written stylistically and the characters –
although very schematic, had their unique, well outlined personalities. And there was one of the caretakers with us and after I read it to them, she was like “Wow, that’s good, you could write harlequins!” Until then, I heard the word harlequin only once – my Mum was reading a book and I heard her talking about it with my aunt, and basically what I remember is that she thought it was rather bad “such a cheap harlequin”. So you can guess I felt kinda insulted. I guess she had to saw that I wasn’t very glad with what she said because she started to explain: “I mean, it would be quite a nice business, wouldn’t it? I’ve heard that harlequin writers earn quite a lot for them”. But I still felt rather resentful, a harlequin seemed something very cheap for me, even though I hadn’t a clue what it could actually be, and I was too much of an idealist then to even think about writing for the sake of money.

And then when I saw this thing about harlequins selling so well, I still hadn’t much of an idea what a harlequin is. So I looked it up and I thought, yeah, I could write something like this. It seemed for me like harlequins are basically thousands of alternative versions of Cinderella’s story, what could be difficult about rearranging this story? And the project grew in my head and I decided, yes, I’ll try it.

But first I thought that I could fail at it spectacularly if I won’t read any harlequin myself. I knew Cinderella, but I wanted to see and understand what’s so exciting about harlequins that people read them. So I was looking around for some romances of different kinds and I had quite a pile of them to read. Most of them were… ew, sooo boring and sugary. But I got what is so interesting for people there. Characters are relatable, particularly females – they usually have their fair share of troubles before Prince Charming arrives, like all of us mortals do –
yet they both the hero and the heroine have something that is admirable/unique/fascinating/something we dream of, be it beauty, wealth, kind heart, hard past, or possibly all combined, and then happiness everafter, and some hardships before they finally make it through to that happiness are, I suppose, very welcome, the more the merrier, for the reader I mean. Quite easy thing and I thought, maybe a bit audaciously, or maybe not, that I am capable of doing it.

And then, a bit later on, I discovered historical romances, like all those regency ones, and others. And I had to admit they can be really interesting. Well maybe not the regency ones, although some were well written too, but there’s no one like Austen as for that. Ones that particularly captured my attention were those set in the medieval times. I’ve absorbed dozens of them. I’ve particularly grown to love Viking romances.

So I got an idea of what I’d like to create. It definitely should be a historical romance. But then another problem appeared. There seemed to be NONE historical romances in Polish. I mean, written originally in Polish. All these harlequins I’ve read were in Polish, but they were translations from English. With time, I’ve found a few Polish ones, but it wasn’t quite the same. I wanted to write a historical romance in the style of Rexanne Becnel, or Julie Garwood, or Bertrice Small, but maybe not so very erotic as Small’s, I think I wouldn’t be able to write something as passionate not having much of experience in the area plus you need to be more emotional to do this right, I think, and it just isn’t my style.

I thought about where to place the action for quite a while. Vikings? Mmm, yes, but… no, not Vikings. Britain? That would be the easiest, but… no, same as Vikings, no, none of my most favourite places in the world will work. It has to be something uncommon, yet possibly easy to write… And after some time I came up with Byzantine Empire. At first I thought the whole plot will be set there, but then I decided that only my heroine will come from there. I had a lot of issue with the hero, and finally, after lots of issues, I changed my mind and decided he will be from one of my most favourite teritories in the world and he will be Welsh. Funnily enough, I wanted to call him Gwilym, but now I’d never do it because my current musical crush is Gwilym. I think now I’d go with something like… Aneirin maybe. Nothing that I like too much, but something that I still like and consider a good name for a protagonist, Aneirin could go well, although I feel like something a little little more masculine would be needed. Before though, I wanted him to be a historical/legendary figure and seriously considered Madoc ab Owain Gwynedd, a legendary Welsh prince who was said to discover and colonise America. But I thought it wouldn’t be a good idea, because then I’d have to be really really cautious about historical details and maybe even describe his voyage, which didn’t seem as appealing. So I decided that the hero would be Madoc’s brother, and a pirate. That gave me more freedom. I wanted my heroine to be a love-child of one of Bysantine emperors and during the time when I searched for perfect historical figures as parents for her, or at least a father who’d be a historical figure and lived in years when I decided to set my novel, I’ve learnt a whole lot about Bysantine emperors.

Gathering all the information absorbed me completely and I spent a lot of time doing it, so that I even doubted anyone who usually reads harlequins would read a novel so packed with historical details, so I decided I would use only those that are necessary to make it look realistic and satisfying for my readers, but I still assumed that if you’re an author of a book, you should know more on the topic than you reveal in the book, so I wanted to be as well oriented in all that as possible, plus it just became simply interesting for me, it was then when I discovered that history can be really interesting, if you go a bit beyond all that boring stuff you have to learn at school.

I have a very well-developed draft of the book and a whole big pile of notes for it, I’ve even made up a pen name for myself – a pretty pretentious and snobbish one on purpose, just for fun – but, as you may guess, I’ve never finished it.

Shortly after I started to seriously work on it, I got the opportunity of working in my Dad’s company, so I of course jumped on it and I felt a bit more secure as for my future. And then I found a Polish friend (named, surprise… Jacek! 😀 ) who was completing a degree in Scandinavian studies in Helsinki, which he finally didn’t complete, but that’s another story, and was obsessed with Vikings. And during one of our late night existential talks, he wondered what it would be if the world ended, and there would be no Last Judgment, no heaven, no hell, no purgatory, no nothingness, but the Ragnarok would start and Vikings’ gods would come to judge us. I thought it’s very weird to think about such things at first, but then it captured my imagination and I exclaimed: “Wow! It would be such a fab topic for a book! There is such a boom on Vikings recently! You should write about it, dude!!!” And we were both so zealous and bursting with ideas. We created a conlang, or rather some basics for it, it was based on Swedish and Finnish, we created different worlds where people were going after death. It was so that the Viking gods were very cruel and only those who believed in them consequently could expect a happy, everlasting life in AsgÃ¥rd or Valhalla. The rest either stayed in the MidgÃ¥rd, or went to the other world that we, or actually I, created, called Sorgland (Land Of Sadness/Sorrow). And this conlang was for the purpose of Sorgland people. And there was a couple of young Polish idealists desiring to save all the people from the eternal suffers and they had to do lots of different things and we were making up lots of different adventures for them that they had to go through to achieve their dream. And he started to write it. But sadly he didn’t finish. So I got to all his drafts and other stuff he has gathered for this purpose. Jacek wanted it to be written in Swedish or Finnish, but I don’t feel like my Swedish would be good enough, so sadly that won’t happen. And I forgot almost completely about the harlequin thing.

I’m not saying I won’t come back to it, but now I definitely don’t feel like doing it. I don’t even feel like having enough time and energy for the poor Vikings, and haven’t focused on them more in a while. I don’t have much of a heart for writing this year at all, since I’ve been in a lot of depression most of the time plus all that hustle with finals, but maybe I’ll be more productive now during holidays, I hope so anyway.

But I still have this project and may come back to it in future when I need to.

How would you end this sentence? 🙂

Question of the day.

You would be really surprised to hear I like…

My answer:

…Sia, Ellie Goulding, and alike. Well I don’t know whether it’s so very surprising, but some people whom I told I do listen to some music that is high in the charts or that is somehow mainstream, were very surprised like it was something completely unbelievable. In fact, although I listen mostly to rather unusual stuff, I like to listen to some more popular music, or sometimes even to very easy, catchy stuff. Well quite a lot of music I listen to can be described as catchy, but I mean stuff that is light, likeable and recognisable by people around me. I don’t really care whether something is popular or not, well if it is it may bother me if I like it, but I don’t avoid mainstream music or favour more niche stuff, I just listen to what I like, but most often it just happens that things I like aren’t known in my surroundings at all. I like ELlie Goulding, who is very popular right now, as well as Sia, I even occassionally like such guys like Jason Derulo or Sean Kingston, they remind me of some happy moments in my childhood, I even like Basshunter, whose music definitely isn’t something very deep, hm, who else… Groove Coverage, Armin van Buuren, Amy Diamond, and some other light pop like her… nothing else comes to my mind right now, but tere are some others. Is it really so surprising? 😀

And how about you? What surprising thing(s) do you like? 🙂

Question of the day.

I have a terrible habit of…
My answer:
…biting/nibbling my nails. I’ve been struggling with it as long as I can remember and nothing seems to make me unlearn it. When I have something stressful ahead, or something stressful that just passed, and I’m alone and don’t have anything constructive to do, I usually end up devastating my nails. It’s something that I usually do while overthinking and overanalysing stuff, it can really help you to quickly fall deeper and deeper in the abysses of your brain. SOmetimes I also do it when I have to focus on something or make up something. Therefore I very rarely have manicure, because well bitten nails with manicure look gross. I thought it might help me to stay motivated and not bite and nibble them, but it doesn’t really help. Therefore I only tend to have pedicure. What terrible habit do you have?