Question of the day.

Hi people! 🙂

Would you rather have a very talkative guest that won’t let you get a word in, or a very quiet guest who doesn’t say much at all?

My answer:

It depends on a few things. How well I know that person and how I feel around them. Whether I’m with them alone or are there other people, like my family members, also present there, so they could keep the conversation going. Whether we have a lot of topics to chat about. How interesting they are to me. My first instinct though would rather be to choose a very talkative guest, because if anything, I’m better at listening than keeping a conversation, and I would feel awkward with someone who doesn’t have much to say, and they would probably feel so even more. With a talkative person, I wouldn’t have to worry about having to talk much, and just listen, or with some people simply pretending that you listen is enough because they don’t seem to care if you actually are listening or not, they’ll be chatting away regardless. One of my favourite quotes, from The Blue Castle by L. M. Montgomery says: “If you can sit in silence with a person for half an hour and yet be entirely comfortable, you and that person can be friends. If you cannot, friends you’ll never be and you need not waste time in trying”. I have very few people like that in my life, even among those I feel generally relatively comfortable around, but one of those with whom I really do like sitting in silence for long stretches of time and we understand each other without words is my grandad. So, I’d be happy to have a quiet guest who wouldn’t say a word for their whole visit, but only such with whom we would both feel comfortable this way, or one whom I would know really well so I could talk to them freely and also make them talk about things they like to talk about.

What would you choose? 🙂

Question of the day.

What are you remembering?

My answer:

Recently lots of things have been reminding me about one of my close friends, with whom I am no longer in touch with, and it’s kind of bittersweet I’d say. I am thinking a lot about him recently somehow and it is both very nice and hurts at the same time ’cause I’ve been missing him a lot. Also, I had a bad dream last night, not like a full blown nightmare or sleep paralysis, but just not a pleasant dream, nothing more, and it involved some school stuff. I had to be up very early today, and that fact, of being up so early, and having that bad dream, it together reminded me that oh wow, today a year has passed since my finals. And, ugh, I’m so glad all that havoc is over. Both with the preparations and the finals. Last year was so devastating for me because of that, and then the finals themselves were absolutely scary for me, or rather accompanying events, not the actual finals, I guess that was kind of traumatising, or re-traumatising maybe I should say, I don’t know, that’s what my Mum says too. Grrrr scary! And then my Mum reminded me of that horror again. So glad it’s over and I don’t have to see those people from there anymore. I’m having a good day generally today, but my Monkey Maggie the Inner Critic is very active today and wants to constantly remind me that what happened then was only because of me, and, well, I guess at this point I’m no longer sure of anything. As if I ever was. 😀 It’s hard to stay rational when dealing with her really.

What are YOU remembering? 🙂

Question of the day.

Are you still friends with your childhood friends? Did you have many friends in childhood?

My answer:

No, definitely not. I was rather liked I suppose and had some people that I called friends deluded myself they were, but truly nothing strong enough could connect us so that we could be real friends. So although I was rather liked, I didn’t have any true friends I think, I considered my Mum as my best friend when I was a little girl and actually I still think so more or less. One of the girls I considered my friend in childhood and who also considered me one of her friends wanted to stay friends after I left the school and wanted to contact me online or on the phone as often as possible, I’d say she desperately wanted. I felt bad for that for some time, but I had to quit this relationship, which happened pretty recently. I was rather overwhelmed by the amounts of her messages, her egocentrism (I don’t know why I didn’t notice how high it is before) and how she still wanted something from me and took everything people did for her pretty much for granted. Maybe if I really felt connected to her and had some sense of common ground with her, maybe then I wouldn’t mind so frequent contact with her and wouldn’t feel like she doesn’t respect my privacy, also it’s not like I don’t like to help people, I do, but relationship with her was simply exhausting and I didn’t feel any advantages iofit for me, and I think if we are talking about friendship, both sides should have some benefits from it, even if for one or both sides it’s only simply satisfaction of being with that other person and helping her. I didn’t feel satisfied. And so I quit it. A bit radically maybe. But I don’t regret it. IN fact I feel much freer. I hope she didn’t suffer too much, I don’t wish her it definitely, but somehow I don’t think so.

How about your childhood friends? 🙂