Question of the day.

How big is your family, immediate and extended? Is one parent’s side of the family bigger than the other?

My answer:

I guess my family is pretty big, even my immediate family, for today’s standards. Apparently, families with just 3 children or more are officially recognised as “big” in Poland, and we have something called Big Family Card, which entitles members of big families to discounts on public transport or cultural institutions tickets and such. There is my Dad, Mum, me, my brother Olek and my sis Zofijka, and our cat Misha and dog Jocky, but they must cope somehow without Big Family Cards as they don’t travel at all so I guess that’s why they didn’t get them. As for my extended family, well my Dad has four siblings, and my Mum has three, and only one of my uncles on Dad’s side doesn’t have children, all the rest of their siblings do, so in total, on both my parents’ sides, only their siblings’ children/grandchildren, I have… let’s do some counting, it might take a while……… 23 cousins, if I’m thinking right, 27 if you count their spouses since they’re colloquially called cousins too. I think though that my Dad’s family is bigger overall, as his parents have both had many siblings, my gran had like 10 I guess. Or maybe I just have that impression that there is so many of my Dad’s relatives because I don’t know them quite as well as my Mum’s family. I lived with my Mum’s family for most of my life so naturally I’ve seen lots of her aunts and uncles and cousins and all visiting, if not us, then my grandparents, at least so that I know who’s who in theory, but if I’d meet my Dad’s cousin on the street, I don’t think I’d even recognise them, let alone know what their name is or what exactly is the familial relationship between us or what they do for living. My Dad knows all of them though and where they live and what they do, and all the complex affinities. They tend to have kinda unobvious nicknames that they go by, which adds to the confusion, I mean usually Polish nicknames from names are very obvious, but in my Dad’s extended family’s case, their real full names are often quite different from what they’re called, they have a talent for making up very harshly sounding diminutives and spoiling names that are quite pretty in their original full forms. 😀 I guess in a way this must be a Kashubian thing, as my Dad is Kashubian. Somehow though, I have an impression that while my Dad’s side is bigger, it consists largely of middle-aged to elderly people, unlike my Mum’s side where there are weddings and births happening relatively frequently all the time and there are children of all ages. But still, despite being smaller, my Mum’s family is big, quite interesting and spread all over the country, and a little bit abroad.

How about your family? 🙂


Question of the day.

Here’s another childhood/family related question I have for you.

Were you closer to one of your parents than another? Has it changed in your adulthood?

My answer:

It was differently at different times. I had a long time as a kid when I was closer to my Dad. He was, and still is, though not to such a degree as in the past, getting along with me the best of all of his children, which, as I later learned, was largely due to the fact that I was blind. I hated it so now I’m no more as close to him personally because I find it a weird reason to favour one of your children more than the rest because she’s blind and not at home most of the time. 😀 But before I found out that little piece of info, and especially when I was a little child, we used to spend a lot of time together, he even played with me, went to the beach just with me, we had quite a lot of things to talk about and were almost on the same wavelength. My Mum was more neurotic at that time, and while I definitely loved her, I wasn’t as much into being around her as she was easily irritated and not as fun to talk to. Then things somehow changed, and that thing I learned did influence it too, and our relationship with Dad became somewhat distant and still is a bit. But I think even without that thing about my blindness, it’s really hard to interact with my Dad, he is a good person, but has a really difficult character, gets incredibly suspicious easily and is very hypersensitive and now it’s him who is way more irritable than Mum, you just have to tiptoe around him, never criticise and always do what he wants if you want things to stay calm, so sometimes it’s better to not interact at all for a while. My relationship with my Mum has deepened a lot since my adolescence but especially in the last 5 years since I got out of the boarding school and we’ve both opened up a lot to each other and, well, are just spending more time with each other now when it is possible. We are in a lot of ways like friends, or in any case best listeners for each other haha, even if we don’t really understand each other in all things. And we always have stuff to talk about. I don’t know if something with me has been going on or if my Dad’s bad traits and annoying habits have worsened over the last year or so but recently our relationship has been really suffering, at least from my point of view. I feel really annoyed by him most of the time, he just pisses me off, so I prefer to avoid him sometimes in order not to let my irritation show too much. I frequently catch myself feeling relief when he’s going to work for a few days, or looking forward to him leaving for longer, and then I feel like a monster for feeling so, because it doesn’t seem to have any particularly strong reason other than he gets on my nerves, sometimes just with his presence.

How about you and your parents? 🙂

Karolina Czarnecka ft. UV – “Ronja”.

Hi guys. 🙂

I thought I’d share with you another song by this Polish singer, from her last album. The rest of her music is much less widely known than the song I showed you yesterday, which I think is a pity, but on the other hand I guess it’s better, good things shouldn’t fall into the same bag with all the mainstream, or usually shouldn’t, as it doesn’t do much good to them. ANyway, if you’ve ever read “Ronja The Robber’s Daughter” by Astrid Lindgren you can easily guess by the title itself that this song is inspired by the book. Because I really like Astrid Lindgren, and because I think Ronja, just as all Lindgren’s character, is very inspiring, I really like this song. And it just sounds good.

Janice – “Answer”.

Hi guys. 🙂

The song I have for you today is from Swedish singer Janice Kamya Kavander, known simply as Janice. She’s becoming very popular in Sweden, and there is something powerful in her voice. I am generally not like a big fan of very soul-like sounding voices, except for Amy Winehouse and maybe a couple other people, but I do like Janice and her expressiveness. And I must say this particular song really moved me when I heard it.

It is about, or to, Janice’s dad, who died five years ago. For me, when I first heard her, she sounded rather mature, as her voice is so strong and expressive, but turns out she’s only 24, so she was 19 when her dad died. That’s very early and no wonder it affected her even more than it would affect someone later on in life. And this song is so full of expression, I think it’s hard to not feel even just a little bit moved. There are lots of versions on Youtube, but I like it particularly in the acoustic version, which is only on Spotify, so, again, I have to only give you the link to Spotify.

Squabble.

There’s been a lot of squabble

in our house lately.

Zofijka’s friend’s been coming a lot to us to play with her this week. They can play well, but they are both completely diffeerent and they’re often arguing. They literally change their minds about each other every minute, which can be both funny and annoying for an outside observer. Everyone around needs to be engaged in their squabbles, and that can piss you off at times, however we’ve learnt to look at it with some distance now.

What worries me much more is that my Dad is recently in a very squabbly mood. Usually the person he argues with is Mum but now he can literally find a reason for a squabble in anything, even things that he liked before are now wrong, all is wrong, every reason for complaining is good and every reason for starting an argument is good for him, and he is generally very conflictive, shouty and irritable. Don’t know what’s going on. I do know though that it pises me off greatly. Recently whenever he gets back from work the atmosphere in our house becomes heavy and unbearable, and I’d say rotten, if you can define atmosphere this way in English.

What pisses me off even more is that today is Father’s Day. Couldn’t he hold back his moods just for today? Why are we supposed to accept it? Zofijka runs to him – “Daddy, Daddy, happy Father’s Day!” – and he stands like a marble statue and only mumbles – “Uhm, tanks”, which honestly sounds more like, “F… off” (well, maybe I’m exaggerating, but it certainly felt discouraging).

I’m particularly mad because of our Mum who is mostly dealing with his moodiness and with whom he argues most often and says hurtful things without thinking much. I guess he doesn’t mean most of them, but I know it hurts her. Since I got back home four years ago my Mum is very happy because she has someone who can listen to her different dilemmas. And I am happy to be her listener, I like to listen to people, unless they’re not too boring. And because she tells me a lot about how she feels I know that his grumpiness is hard for her to live with sometimes. My Dad isn’t always like that, but can be pretty often and then Mum feels it the most, everyone would feel very uncomfortable in such situation. I’m just so frustrated with him, so I’m making use of the fact that no one of my close family knows English so I can get it out of my brain.

Zofijka has finished her school year yesterday. She has very good grades, as for her. But he didn’t care a bugger about it. I asked him by the way whether he’s seen her grades, but he just mumbled that he didn’t, in a way that showed his lack of caring more clearly than the words would. Again, it’s not his normal attitude to Zofijka, but imo he should at least pretend the interest. That’s shitty. I mean, if he likes being grumpy and not happy with anything, than OK, it’s his choice, he has the right to feel however he wants, but why others have to deal with it too? Such people really drive me crazy.

I hope he will be so kind to consider changing his attitude to others soon, or maybe they’ll send him for a longer route and he’ll come back more communicative. He really annoys me right now and if it wasn’t Father’s Day, I think I would just tell him something abut it, though maybe I shouldn’t. But on the other hand in some way I have more influence on him than the rest of us because he’s always liked me the most of his children, God knows why, I guess because I was his first child, and because most of the time I was away from home so when he missed me, he idealised me or something. I think his irritability is passing on to me a bit, also because I’m having a Zombie day after no sleep at all. I think I’ll cool down soon, anyway what I surely wouldn’t do, I definitely wouldn’t let it out on people around me.

OMG what a rant! That’s normally so not like me! :O I didn’t plan it to look this way.

 

Amason – I Want To Know What Love Is.

We have Father’s Day today. And I thought we need a special song in this mishmashy world to celebrate it. And actually I had quite a dilemma what to pick. Thought about something from Vreeswijk’s repertoire about his relationship with his son, I couldn’t think about any song in all my extensive music collection that would talk about fathers, fatherhood, at least not in the way that I could relate to. Also, my Dad’s music tastes are COMPLETELY different than mine so while me and my Mum can have some common favourite songs or even artists, it’s definitely not possible with Dad. And the purpose of My Inner MishMash is to share with the world things that I enjoy, or that move me in any other way, so there was no way I could share my Dad’s favourite piece. But then I realised there is that song, but, um, how were they called… The F… yeah! The Foreigners! and my Dad likes that song they’ve made, that was such a hit – “I Want To Know What Love Is”. I will forever associate it with him. He says it’s his favourite song. I am not big on the original, for me it’s nothing particular, like it’s not bad, but nothing I could really like.

But, the Swedish band called Amason, have made a cover of this song. And it is beautiful. In fact, I like it enough that I put it into my Swedish playlist on Spotify with my most favourite Swedish songs. I think what makes it so good in their version is the vocalist – Amanda Bergman’s – voice. I really like it. I like how a bit husky and dark it is, but also that she has quite a wide vocal range. So this is my choice for Father’s Day. A sort of compromise between our tastes! And because I listen to this song quite a lot, I often have my Swedish playlist turned on silently at night, my Dad has heard this song a few times before. He says it’s not as good as The Foreigners’, but it’s cool, as for a cover.

Callum Beattie – Some Heroes Don’t Wear Capes.

Hi guys! 🙂

I showed you one song by Callum Beattie on Easter, now it’s time for something more by him. I absolutely adore this song, it’s so moving and… well just have a listen. 🙂