Stoicism

This is a very powerful post, to which I can hugely relate as someone constantly trying to unlarn bottling up emotions and living with consequences of doing so all the time for years. If you struggle with similar issues, I highly recommend you reading this. 🙂

New Beginnings

We all have a different reaction to pain.

Some of us react externally, such as jump in shock, scream, cry, or become enraged.

Some of us react, but rather internally than externally. Such as concealing the pain deep within the mind, making it appear as though they feel nothing on the outside but truly suffer inside.

Instead, the outside reaction might just be a smile. Or even nothing at all. Almost appearing as though they are immune to the pain inflicted upon them.

Maybe they want nobody to see them in pain. They wouldn’t want people to show any care for them so they can endure their suffering alone. As if nobody would be able to heal them.

Or perhaps they think people would view them as weak. A pathetic human that could never stand a chance through life. They want to eliminate the possibility of being embarrassed by hiding…

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art Bandini – Heb Ffydd (Without Faith).

I don’t know actually anything about this Welsh band. I just heard them in the radio once, this particular song, and I liked it, but when I searched for them I didn’t get much info. They’re not even on Youtube, Spotify or SoundCloud, so the link to the song I’ll give you will be to my Dropbox and it will expire after 30 days.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/h4x3jw3gf9a6uyz/Heb%20Ffydd.mp3?dl=0

– Du Måste Finnas (You Must Exist=.

Hi Guys! 🙂

Time for another Helen Sjöholm’s song from my favourites by her. This one is my absolute favourite of these.

It comes from a musical called “Kristina Från Duvemåla (Kristina From Duvemåla”, which was written by Björn Ulveus and the music was written by Benny Andersson. The plot was based on the shortstories written by Wilhelm Moberg. It is about a Swedish family and their emigration to US. The main character, Kristina, has a lot to go through. She miscarries her baby, loses her husband, and also feels alienated in the new country. She was a very religious and faithful woman but now as she suffers from so many things, she wonders whether actually GOd exists. She clings in panic to her beliefs, but feels very abandoned and lonely and the more her skepticism arises. ANd this song is about it.

Helen Sjöholm did it so very expressively, it’s thrilling and affecting, so deep and emotional. I think it is so emotional that actually iF I wouldn’t know any Swedish, I could figure out very basically what it is about. Although I must also say that I don’t think there could be any better language to sing this song in than Swedish, it just sounds so great in Swedish.

Both the musical and song have their English versions though and the song is sung by Kerry Ellis, however I must admit that in comparison to Sjöholm’s version, Ellis’ seems almost flat, even though it isn’t bad at all.

As it is usual with musicals, the actual Swedish lyrics to the song are different than those in the ENglish version, so besides both language versions I will also post original Swedish lyrics translated to English exactly.

 

You Must Exist
You drove me out, God,
from my homeland torn away.
Here I’m a refugee and a stranger
and I do accept that as my fate
But You took my child
And You take me from my man.
I can no longer see any meaning.
What is it you want?
What should I think?
The thought is dizzying,
before me opens an abyss,
my whole being is in uproar and wants to say no,
my soul shivers
at the answer to the question I’ve raised;
that You do not exist
though I believed in You.
Who’d help me endure life all the way out here?
Who’d give me the skills and the strength I must show?
Who would comfort me? I am so little on the earth
If You did not exist,
yes, how would I cope?
No, You must exist,
You have to!
I live my life through You.
Without You I am a splinter on a dark and stormy sea.
You must exist,
You have to!
How could You just overlook me?
I would be nowhere,
I would be nothing if You did not exist.
Never before has that been on my tongue or in my mind,
that little word which is frightening and plaguing me so;
the word is “if “, if I have said all of my prayers in vain?
If You do not exist
what will I do?
Who would feel my repentance and then just forgive me?
Freedom in my soul, yes, who would give that to me?
Who’d be there at the end to accept me, after my death?
If You did not exist
who would take my hand then?
No, You must exist,
You have to!
I live my life through You.
Without You I am a splinter on a dark and stormy sea.
You must exist,
You have to!
How could You just overlook me?
I would be nowhere,
I would be nothing if You did not exist.
You must exist,
You have to!
How could You just overlook me?
I would be nowhere,
I would be nothing if You did not exist