Question of the day.

You’re getting to build the house of your dreams, so…
Tell us about the housewarming?

My answer:

Well, is the housewarming really necessary? If I’m honest, I hate housewarmings. My experience in this matter isn’t very rich and I’m sure you can have a very nice one, but what bothers me about housewarmings is how obligatory they seem to be and more a duty than something you do for fun. You get a new house – you MUST make the housewarming, all the people you know expect you will invite them, and that you will make the housewarming. It’s so obvious for them that they don’t even ask whether you will do it but when. And if they’ve ever invited you to their housewarming, they will be deadly offended if you won’t return the favour, no matter what kind of relationship you have with them. So far all the housewarmings I’ve been to were just soooo boring and hopeless. So far I’ve moved houses twice in my life and when we first moved my parents did the housewarming, but it was a complete failure for various reasons, and my Mum said she’d never ever do it again so we didn’t in our current house.

But OK, as I said I am hopeful that not all housewarmings are so boring and awful. I’d make one if I had some nice people to invite about whom I’d know we’d all have fun together, whatever having fun would mean. It’s my house of dreams plus in such a nice area that I am sure there would be some cool people that I could invite. And I would invite you guys. And some of my pen pals with whom I’m coresponding for a while and know them well and get along. I would also invite some people from my Mum’s family maybe.

So actually chances are that it would be quite a big housewarming. Or no… I have another idea. It wouldn’t be too cool if I’d make one gathering for all the cool people I know from all the environments I’m a part of. It would be way too big, so no fun, and people from different environments maybe wouldn’t get along well enough to feel good. Like I can’t imagine for example C. and my gramma on one party. and not only because of the language bareer, which is another huge issue. So I’d made a few smaller housewarmings.

As I wrote earlier my house would be filled with harps, and I would often make some harp festivals and invite harpists and harpers, particularly Celtic, so maybe we’d have some harp music in the background, or any other kind of good music.

I’d ask my Mum to make some very Polish food like pierogi or her very healthy chicken soup full of colagen with noodles if it wouldn’t be too hot, her yummy homemade bread or other things like that, and all the cakes that she makes that people always devour immediately, so good they are. And I’d ask my Dad to make some smoked meat which people always like. Or my Mum would made just a few dishes that she’s always very good at and we’d hire a catering company to do the rest. I’d also like some Welsh food since the whole thing would take place in Wales.

That’s about some basic stuff.

How about your housewarming?

Question of the day.

You’re getting to build the house of your dreams, so…
If you could chose one original piece of art/craft/artefact for your home what would it be?

My answer:

To match the Celtic feel, I would fill the house with all kinds of harps, particularly Welsh ones as my dreamhouse would be in Wales. I would learn to play Celtic harp and I would invite lots of harpists and harpers to my house, make some sorts of harp festivals and I would also design harps on my own. That could be a lot of fun.

You? πŸ™‚

Question of the day.

You’re getting to build the house of your dreams, so…
What name do you give the house?

My answer:

It would depend where exactly it’d be located, I mean what would be around, like for example our current house does have a name and it is taken from the name of the street we live on, which can be directly translated as Acacia Street, so we planted some acacias on the backyard and the river runs through it, so we called the house Acacia River. SO I think I’d take the inspiration from the surroundings or from the look of the house. Other than that, it could be also inspired by Celtic culture, however at the moment I don’t have any clever ideas. Things like Avalon or Camelot or related are a bit too cliche, I guess, plus not really personalised I’d say. I also wouldn’t use anything with Celtic in the name because a) it’s too obvious and b) I have a feeling like the word Celtic is slightly overrated these days, like lots of stuff that has nothing to do with anything Celtic has Celtic in its name and that’s so weird and I don’t really know why it happens. Oh, as I’m writing this I got an interesting idea. Not sure whether I’d use it, but it’s funny. As I wrote two days ago about the location of my dream house, I would particularly like it to be somewhere in North Wales, maybe in Gwynedd. There is a town in Wales (South Wales, but never mind, I think), called Caerffili (Caerphilly). Caer means castle or fort in Welsh, while Ffili is the name of the man that is said to build the fort in Caerphilly, hence its name, or from lord Philip de Braose. And I have a friend who calls me Millie. So I could call my house Caermillie, or CaerMilly, or Caermili, never mind the spelling, but, you get it, in reference to Caerphilly, so that would mean Millie’s fort/castle. πŸ˜€ Quite a quirky idea, but I like it, I must admit.

How would you name yours?

Question of the day.

You’re getting to build the house of your dreams, so…

Tell us a little about the design and style?

My answer:

Well one thing that’s for sure is that I would entrust the design and style stuff to my Mum. She is much better oriented in all that, plus it’s her passion and she’s really good at that although she’s not a professional designer or anything, but everyone who knows her and visited our house says she has a real gift. Plus our tastes are generally similar. I would like my house to combine old and new things, be slightly vintage, but have also some modern twist to it. I would like it to feel homely and cosy, so that I think I’d like to use some warmer colours in the kitchen and the living room, however my room would be rather in more calm and fresh tones. I would like it to feel natural –
as little artificial stuff as possible, lots of stone, brick and wooden twists. Well it’s countryside anyway so it’d have to fit in the landscape. I think I’d like a balcony there. Maybe like we have here, not very small, and you can go on the grass straight from it. And if I were to move there with my whole family, which is much more likely than just with Mum, although I don’t think my Dad would be glad, he prefers some warmer regions of the world, but anyway if I were to live there with my Dad too, I’d like to have a garden for him. Yes my Dad is into gardening. Not Mum, but Dad. Lots of people think it’s weird, and actually I think so too, but never mind, it’s his hobby and I’m glad he has his own hobby now, whatever it is. And I guess that’s all I could say about that at the moment, although if I had the possibility to build my own house of dreams, my wishlist would be probably longer and more precise.

What would your dream house look like?

Question of the day.

You’re getting to build the house of your dreams, so…
Where do you build it?
My answer:
I’d have many places to consider, but if it would be really the house of my dreams, I think it would be in UK, most probably in Wales, more exactly in North Wales. I guess somewhere in Gwynedd. I’d like it to be close to the sea, or at least a river, with some forest nearby, and not too far from the mountains. I’d like the area to be as rural as possible because I have a bit of a crush on British countryside and so has my Mum. There is a gardening TV channel my Mum likes, not so much because of the gardening stuff, but because they have a lot of programmes about houses and interior design, which is my Mum’s passion, and they have a programme about people buying houses in Britain, we always watch it whenever we can. πŸ˜€ Where would your house of dreams be located?
You can expect a few more questions on that topic in the next few days, I guess, at least unless I’ll get another constructive idea.

Disappear.

Oftentimes, I feel the need to just disappear. Even just for a while. Just so that I can have time to set my messy brain in order, and start to function properly, or at least as well as I can, again, to recharge.

When I was living away from home at the boarding school for years, the only place I could go to to have a guarantee I’ll be absolutely alone was… the restroom. Sometimes I was just going there to calm down the chaos of my mind, or just to be alone for a while, but often I did it if I wanted to talk to someone on the phone privately. Of course, I could just wait until there will be a moment when there will be no one else in my bedroom than me, but it was a rare occasion and usually then, I was out too, or was busy, plus, when you really need to talk to someone, you need it just now. So, yeah, usually, when I talked to my Mum, or anyone else from my family, or my therapist, I did it in the loo. I hated it, because the sound echoed there so much and the privacy was minimal because anyone could hear you if they only wanted or if there was quieter outside for a while. But still you had more space than usually in our bedrooms, where there were at least three people living together if not more. Needless to say lots of people often wondered or even asked me what I do so often and for so long in the loo, but I didn’t care and if it was necessary, I was happy to satisfy them with some convincing enough excuses. Later on, I’ve found some other hideouts for myself, where I could just disapear, and feel better afterwards, or just demonstrate my rebellion or frustration by escaping there. I found LD and OOBE very entertaining. And some time later I started to use Doses (sound drugs). I was living half in my own world, made entirely of dreams, imaginings and hallucinations. I loved it there. Only that as it showed later on, there was also a much darker side to that beautiful world, which I tried to ignore. Without going into ethical stuff, as I talked a bit about it before, I can just say it messed up with my brain a little in a longer perspective.

When I got outa there, I was awfully depressed all the time, well I was before too, obviously, but when I got home I fuly realised it because before it happened, I simply didn’t have time to be depressed and I just had to live on. So when I got home and my depression set free, so to say, after so many years of being well hidden, it just struck me with its intensivity. And it was hard to cope with it. So again, I wanted to disappear, hide, run away from my freaky brain. And what I mostly did back then was sleep. Even my sleep paralysis nightmares were sometimes better than my depressed reality.

Now as I got relatively better, I still need to disappear at times. Not only when I’m depressed, but just to stay healthy and recharge my brain from time to time. Well actually I need it quite often, particularly after a lot of stuff happening or a lot of social interactions, doesn’t matter whether good or bad. Then I disappear into another world I’ve created for myself. I don’t always need to be long in there to feel better. Sometimes I just lay down with Misha, very close to him, and listen to all the sounds inside of him, cuddle into his silky fur, feel his little, warm and springy body under my hands. That feels very grounding and soothing. Other times I’ll lock my room, put the headphones on and flow away to Dreamland, a world constructed entirely of my favourite music, and my daydreams. Sometimes I just listen to the music and let my thoughts flow freely, sometimes I only focus on the music and other sensory stuff around me if I want to ground more, sometimes though I go deep into my dreams. I dream about very different things. From those very simple ones to some completely out of my reach, to very exciting ones, to ones that are actually fantastic. Sometimes I dream about stuff I really would like to happen some day, and sometimes about things that I’d rather prefer to stay in Dreamland, so that I can go away from them or come back to them whenever I want. daydreaming feels frustrating sometimes, if you feel like you’ll just never ever be able to make come true any of your dreams, you aren’t even sure if you want it, but most of the time, it feels gorgeous. As Enya sings: “Dreams are more precious than gold” so why not to cherish them? You can always emeerge from the waters of Dreamland if you want to, but you know it’s still there and you can float back there if you only want. And sometimes I listen to music and write something, be it my diary, a blog post, a short story, or just my lose thoughts. And then, I’m able to handle things more effectively. As there are no devices that would be a perpetum mobile, same applies to people. Everyone needs to recharge, and as it is with all kinds of devices, we also vary from each oter and so different rechargers fit us. πŸ˜€

Another time when I want to disapear, and that’s a rather common thing for all of us I guess, is when something triggers my anxiety suddenly. Be it social situations, crowds, some sounds, or speciffic things that always make me anxious and almost or completely freak out. Like yesterday. Since a few days, there was something stinking awfully on our backyard. We had a doghouse on our backyard, although we don’t have a dog nowadays, but the doghouse is still there just in case. And the smell seemed to come from there. Yesterday my Dad was doing stuff around the backyard and finally he just went there to see what it is stinking so horribly. It was just like a carrion smell. So he came closer and here’s what he saw – a dead cat lied wrapped in the cover that previously was our poor dog’s, Bobby’s. My Dad removed it and ran into the house. At the same time I was going downstairs to the kitchen, I wanted to pour myself a glass of orange juice that my Mum made. And I heard him falling in like a storm. I only managed to ask what’s up and then I heard some very scary and disquieting sounds from the bathroom. He was throwing up. I can imagine now how disgusting that view had to be. I wanted to disapear! Run away! Into the kitchen, back to my room, wherever. Wanted to scream so loud that I wouldn’t hear him doing it. But I just froze. And that was the worst thing I could do. I just couldn’t move. Just stood there on the stairs not able to do anything. I could only move when he was done with it. But luckily he was OK afterwards and it was just a single incident.

Are there times when you want to disappear? Do you do it then? Where do you go? What do you do there? πŸ™‚

 

What’s your favourite?

Thanks for hosting to Eve over at Revenge Of Eve

. This week she asks us about favourite fairytales.

It was a pretty hard choice because although I’m not a child anymore I read fairytales pretty often and I love them. I read fairytales from all around the world and I suppose I could pick my favourite fairytale from every or almost every culture. I think I have it after my Mum who also loves lots of fairytales and she read many of them to me.

As a little girl, I loved Little Red Riding Hood. I don’t really remember why I loved her so much. I just could listen to it over and over and over again. So now I am not as big fan of it as I was back then because it’s not so interesting for me now since I’ve listened to it so much in my early childhood. Which doesn’t mean I don’t like this fairytale at all.

So as my all time favourite I think I would pick a fairytale by Hans Christian Andersen, but since I always read it in Polish, I’m not sure its English title, its Danish title is “Ole LukΓΈje” and it was based on the myth about the Sandman, a creature who was believed to give dreams to children. I’ve loved this fairytale my whole life and was always kind of inspired by sandman in general.