Music Monday Care & Love – Curly Strings – “Miks Sa Murrad Mind?” (Why DO You Break Me?).

Hi guys! 🙂

And so I am taking part in another

Music Monday Care & Love

maybe a little late, but I think it’s much better late than never, especially since it lasts until Sunday. 😀

Last week, Bee encouraged us to just being and sitting still, to do it as a self care activity. That was a fabulous idea for me, but also a bit of a challenge as I’ve always been struggling with it quite a lot. Surprisingly, at the first day when I tried to do it last week with a little help from Misha, it went really well, I mean, much better than I expected. So I continued throughout the week, with the exception of Thursday when I was just too anxious and messed up and wired that it actually wouldn’t work out at all. But even during the weekend, which was also full of anxiety for me, I managed to do it for five-ish minutes everyday, always with invaluable help of Misha. it definitely wasn’t always easy, but I tried, and will continue if I can, because I feel like although it’s so hard, it often indeed helps my brain to shut off for a while. Music helped me with it hugely as well. When I was in so much anxiety at the weekend it was very hard for me to stand the silence so I listened to Enya’s music, to my favourite album “The Memory Of Trees”, which always soothes me a lot, well Enya is generally like an antidote for me. I am lucky to live in the town, but have all of the charms of the countryside as well, as we are on the outskirts, so I could also, like Bee, listen to the nature. On Sunday we even went to the beach, not for long as it started to rain just after we arrived, but still, we were able to stay there for a while and relish the sound of the sea combined with the rain and storm.

And this week, Bee invites us to not only be still, but also to focus on our breath. That sounded a bit easier to me when I read it, as I already had some more experience with just being, and now as I could focus on something, it seemed like even more doable. Turned out it doesn’t necessarily have to be like this, it is also a challenging thing for me in a way, as my attention constantly gets distracted by some other thoughts, but I try not to care about it too much. When I finally did focus on my breath fully, doing it yesterday night, I felt like it helped me significantly with my anxiety. I mean it was still there, but not eating me up, like a while before, and didn’t occupy the central position in my mind any longer. I hope I’ll get out of this anxious episode completely soon and that then it’ll be much easier for me to focus on things. Yesterday as I was doing this, Misha was accompanying me as well, and I was also feeling him and his deep breath, which in turn made me realise how shallowly I breathe when under a lot of anxiety. That’s generally not anything particular as it is normal that people often don’t breathe properly while stressed, but it helped me to see the difference between how it is, and how it should be. SO I tried to in a sense imitate Misha, in how deep his breathing is. It felt really good and soothing to be with him and just breathe together, I wouldn’t think it can be so much fun honestly, he seemed to be very contented too. 😀 He’s very slowed down by this kind of weather we’re having now, so he seemed to like this very simple activity.

Today I was very lucky because I could again be and breathe by the sea. This time not in the rain. I always find the sea very relaxing, soothing, healing and just fun, so I thought it would be a fabulous idea to do it by the sea. I sat on the sea shore and focused only on my breath and the sea around me, all its sounds, the water, sand and waves, and suddenly I just felt literally that my anxiety has washed away. At least for the time I was by the sea, but anyway, I was very happy to notice this, and it was such a lovely experience.

So yeah, really, if you’re gonna do this, if you want to do something for yourself this week, also do join us on the Music Monday Care & Love, and try to just do nothing except for breathing and focusing on it for a little while every day, but what I would myself greatly recommend you to do, if you can do it, is – to go to the seaside, and do it there. You’ll see how wonderful it can be then. Or if it can’t be the sea, let it be anywhere you feel really really safe and soothed.

OK, so on to the song I want to share with you today.

As some of you may know from my last Weekend Coffee Share post, on 29th July was my friend Jacek’s first death anniversary, and that I still can’t fully get it. I decided, or rather I didn’t decide, it went very spontaneously, anyway I spent almost the entire day listening to Finnish music. And no, it wasn’t Finnish metal, although I listen to quite a lot of it, but usually when I am very depressed, and this time I wasn’t. It was mainly folk, pop, and some lighter shades of rock, anyway, the music that I discovered via Jacek, that I recommended to him, that I associated with him. Because what always united us was the love for Finland, Finnish language, Finnish people and Finnish music. Swedish as well, but that’s another story, Jacek’s kinda main domain was Finland, while mine was Sweden.

Anyway, so I listened to all that Finnish music I knew, and lots of new stuff, mainly on Spotify, which resulted in Spotify overflowing me with tons of Finnish music, because I hadn’t listened to it to such a extent in a while before that day. And so I was happy, discovering lots of new things, and then I discovered a band called Curly Strings. I listened to one of their songs, then another, and yet another. Cool. Really cool, but… wait… sounds familiar, but… is it actually Finnish?

What can an incompetent human being in 21st century do in face of such an unsolvable dilemma? Only ask uncle Google for help, and that’s quite obviously what I did. And my instinct turned out to be right because it wasn’t Finnish! It was Estonian!

Maybe an average Finophile would then just shrug and go away in an opposite direction – I don’t know, but I am certainly not an average Finophile. I just love good music in interesting and not very well known languages. And this was quite a discovery for me and I was like YAAAY! because I can count on my fingers of one hand all the Estonian language musicians I know. All of those I knew so far were from a programme we have in Poland called “Strefa Rokendrola Wolna Od Angola”, (roughly Rock & Roll Zone Free From English). There is so much good music and so much of all the excentric music I listen to, I know from there.

So yeah, now I am exploring the world of Estonian music. Generally, Estonian isn’t among my VERY BEST FAVOURITE languages, but I still do like it a lot, and if I’ll ever learn all MY languages, Estonian might be one of the first ones I’d learn afterwards.

So here is the song, and there are also lyrics under the video, I think they’re very interesting, in a way they speak to me.

What do you think? Have you actually ever heard Estonian language before? 🙂

Once again I highly recommend you to go visit Bee and take part in the Music MOnday Love & Care, and start to love yourself a bit more.

Music Monday Care & Love – song of the day (23rd July) – Hilde Selvikvåg – Allt For Deg (All For You).

Hi guys! 🙂

I’m so happy to participate in Music Monday Care & Love (formerly Music Monday Blog Party), hosted by the Bee at The Bee Writes.

Music Monday Love & Care is all about appreciating yourself, caring for yourself, celebrating your life and loving yourself more, all the while sharing music we love and that helps us with doing it all.

I think most of us would benefit from being more caring and loving for ourselves, so if you think it’s you too, I really encourage you to take part in it as well, and do some special self-care activity to be better for yourself, and do listen to some good music meanwhile, it really helps in boosting your self-esteem.

The activity that Bee is suggesting for us this week is to “just sit and do nothing”.

An extremely hard thing for me to do, I must admit. 😀 I’m not like hyperactive or anything, but my brain certainly is, and I don’t like, or am not used to, doing nothing for a long time, when I read it in the Bee’s post I actually wondered for a while whether I’m capable to do so. 😀 I don’t like feeling bored, and my brain is constantly overthinking, analysing and stuff. So, here’s the challenge for me!

This week (excluding Monday because it was just to busy), every day I’m going to sit still doing nothing – maybe besides listening to some not very brain-engaging music – for like 5 minutes, or more if I can. Just switch my brain off and exist. 5 minutes isn’t long, but that’s always something for a start, and, who knows, maybe until Sunday I’ll be able to increase it? Maybe to 10 minutes? That would be cool, wouldn’t it?

I was always kinda jealous, but also kinda surprised seeing people who don’t have any issues with doing nothing. Like on the beach – you see lots of people just lying, sunbathing, and doing nothing else. I was often thinking that if I’d do it for longer… I don’t know what would really happen, but the thought of it just scared me! And no, I am not any sort of workaholic or anything, it just seemed, and still seems in a way, kinda odd to me to do just nothing. My Mum is a master at it, so I’m gonna take an example from her. She is a very productive person, but she seems to be an expert at herself and her own needs and always knows exactly when to stop.

Because of these issues I have, it’s also often hard for me to pray or meditate, and I often find it disheartening, I need to be really determined if I really want to do such things right and succeed. Not because I can’t focus my attention on what I need to do, but because at the same time I focus my attention on a thousand of other big and little things, and then any prayer or meditation just can’t go right, you need to immerse your whole mind in it.

But, yeah, today I tried, for 5 minutes, 5 and a half almost, Misha was with me and Misha was the only thing I tried to focus on. We just lied together and I felt his fur, his slightest movements, listened to his breath, the gurglings in his tummy, felt his smell… We do it very often with Misha, just lie together, but usually at the same time my thoughts are racing like crazy, and today I did my best to stop them. It went surprisingly well. It was hard, but not as tough as I thought it could be. I think the weather we have now here helps people greatly in just existing, it’s really hot and it always makes me feel kinda sluggish, so it’s easier to do such things.

So I think I have the reason to be quite proud of myself, that’s always something. and also yesterday evening I ended up with sky high levels of anxiety and was feeling very low because of something that sort of triggered me, I was feeling better in the morning, but still rather not stable, and I feel like switching off my brain and turning my attention only to Misha helped me to feel more stable and grounded, which is really good.

So, I’m curious how it’ll go for the rest of the week, and if you can relate in any way to what I wrote, I would recommend you to try doing it too, I’m curious about how and if it will help you.

OK, so let’s go to the song. As you could notice I didn’t post anything yesterday, including song of the day, so it’ll be the song I planned for yesterday, in Norwegian.

It is a Norwegian version of John Legend’s song “All Of Me”, (Allt for Deg in Norwegian so actually All For You), sung by Hilde Selvikvåg. I really like it, and Iäm curious if you will too, and which version you prefer, the original, or this one. Enjoy. 🙂