G2K.

Although it’s actually the weekend already, thought I’d catch up on Revenge Of Eve’s new series.

Eve over at Revenge of Eve has launched a new series, G2K,replacing the previous one called WYF.

 

Who does the cleaning in your home?

My Mum, usually.

What pets do you have?

A narcissistic creature that claims to be a Russian blue cat called Misha whom everyone of you already knows because it’s impossible to not know him. Also, my Dad has some aquarium fishes, which Misha is crazy about and still hopes he’ll one day be able to catch one.

When did you have your first boyfriend/girlfriend?

Never actually. I’ve been in love or had various kinds of crushes multiple times, but have never been in an actual relationship.

Where do you live?

Northern Poland.

How did you decide on your career?

My Dad’s accountant suggested to him that he could employ me, since I was studying only part time, so I could earn some money and he would have them returned because so it is here when you employ a disabled person, so he wouldn’t lose anything on it and I could either have some money for some things I want or can save them for the future, which I really appreciate as not many disabled young people are as lucky.

Why do you blog?

For very various reasons. Because I love writing, because I prefer writing than speaking, because having just my own diary started to be not enough for me, because I want to have some more outlet for my emotions and start to share them with others, at least through writing for now, because I want to have some more outlet for what’s going on in my brain, because I started to feel kinda isolated and wanted to get in touch with some more people and find some like-minded ones and maybe make friends with some, because I felt like I need to be more open about my mental health issues, because I wanted to share with someone what’s going on in my life, my fascinations and anything that matters to me, and finally because I want to improve my English skills or maybe also start to communicate more in other languages.

 

Share Your World.

Time to answer Cee’s questions for this week.

Do you use paper money? If so is your money organised sequentially according to denomination?

I use paper money very rarely, most of the time when I do any of my shopping on my own I do it online, and if not, I rather prefer to use coins because it’s easier to distinguish them if you can’t see. But no matter if I use coins or paper money, I always try to have them organised by denomination so I don’t have to spend too much time searching for the one I need, even though nowadays my Mum usually goes with me so she can help me.

You are comfortable doing nothing? For long stretches of time?

Not really. Although I’m not like hyperactive, I am not good at just sitting still and staring on the walls and thinking/meditating. I’m a kind of multi-tasker, at least intellectually, and my brain gets bored easily when I have to just sit still not having anything to really focus on. Unless I have a lot of interesting things to think about.

What is your greatest strength?

Hmm, don’t really know, maybe my empathy? Although it doesn’t always feel like a strength. Hard to say.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week? Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha, progress in my languages, reading lots of interesting books, finishing school year (yaaaaaaaayyyyy!) and finishing with my Maths lessons. I still can’t quite believe it’s over, probably because I have my final exams yet to pass, but yeah, it’s over, I’ve been so fed up with school and education, well not in education in general, I’m still learning Welsh and stuff, but all that shitty school stuff around which there is always much more fuss than it’s really needed. Although I’ve never cared a lot about marks, it is always nice to hear that you have the highest average among all the classes for adults, which happened to me, much to my surprise, so yeah, I was happy about that. Althoug I felt like it’s a bit unfair – I know there were so many people learning much harder than I did, and caring much more about their results, and for me it all was relatively easy and didn’t crave much work, even despite I was learning mostly on my own, apart from maths.

https://ceenphotography.com/2018/04/30/share-your-world-april-30-2018/

TMI Tuesday.

Tell us…
1. The problem with you in 5 words.
I’m too complex and conflicting.
2. 5 things you want in life.
Learn all my languages and do lots of interesting and useful things with them, have something to do as a job which would be satisfactory and not too much anxiety provoking, experience at least one real friendship and romantic relationship, not live too long, be happy. 3. 5 things you need to quit.
Overthinking, escapism, pessimism other than defensive, people pleasing, sleeping or not sleeping at not civilised hours. 4. 5 things you require in a lover.
Creativeness, intelligence, sense of humour, sensitiveness, protectiveness. 5. 5 things you are tired of.
School, anxiety, nightmares, my Dad’s constant ranting, anything to do with mathematics. Bonus: What 5 things will you never share on social media?
My first name before I legally changed it, my phone number, my address, my mental health issues in detail, my pictures other than in profile or something like this. It also depends what kind of social media it is, whether are there any people I know and from where I know them, and how public the information is, but these are things I wouldn’t share completely publically in places like Facebook or Twitter or other big social medias. https://tmituesdayblog.wordpress.com/2018/04/23/tmi-tuesday-april-24-2018/

Share Your World.

If you could have an endless supply of any food, what would you get?

Hmmmm, thinking… thinking… crrrrriiiiiiiiiiiissssssspssssssssssss!!! very spicy, crispy crisps. Pepperoni crisps, or chilli crisps. But no, seriously, don’t think so. I always seem to burn all the calories in food with just thinking, because now I don’t do any sports or even exercises since a couple of months already and my weight is still stuck at 45 kg, but I guess that if I started to devour crisps endlessly things would change drastically. 😀 Not the nicest perspective, I suppose, but since it’s just theoretical, maybe my weight gain would be theoretical too. 😉 Other than that, my Mum complains I look “malnourished”, so I guess she’d be glad if things would change. 😛

List at least five movies or books that cheer you up.

Any book in “Jeżycjada” series by “Małgorzata Musierowicz” (so there are around 20 books actually), “A Tangled Web” by Lucy Maud Montgomery, the Polish movie “miś”, any good, British film, and Polish fantasy series by Katarzyna Berenika Miszczuk about a girl who dies and describes her afterlife in hell and in heaven, at times I was rolling on the floor reading it.

If you were a mouse in your house in the evening, what would you see your family doing?

If I were a mouse in my house at whatever time of day, I would get quickly explored and encountered by Misha and then annihilated and chucked out by Dad. 😀 But maybe I could see something interesting before they’d unmask me. Maybe I’d be able to familiarise with all the food in the pantry or the sprouts my Mum is growing in the kitchen. If it was evening and I’d be very silent and careful, maybe I could see Dad watching some shit on TV, or Mum making the supper, heard Zofijka taking a shower or Olek coming back from God knows where. Or this voracious monster Misha, who can approach me any minute and do with me whatever his instinct would tell him.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week? Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha, blogging, writing, progress in my languages, writing maths control assignment, passing Maths exams and geography oral exam, finishing my term session, had some nice dreams, was feeling relatively well emotionally last week, or at least better than most of the time recently.

Thanks so much to Cee for hosting SYW.

https://ceenphotography.com/2018/04/23/share-your-world-april-23-2018/

My fav food.

Today, or for some people, like me, yesterday, was/is #WYF, over at Revenge Of Eve

and this time it’s about our favourite food/meal/style of food.

THe problem with my favourite food or meal is that I’ve never had just one that could be my absolutely most favourite number one food/meal. I have a lot of them and it’s really hard to say what’s more and what’s less. But some of my most favourites of most favourites are olives, red pepper, chips, Silesian dumplings, chicken soup, spaghetti, crisps, chocolate, almonds, salted nuts… oh so many things.

As for meals, my ideal big meal would be something like: very spicy chicken soup with homemade noodles, a chicken breast (it’s the best the way my Mum does it, in almond flakes) with chips and fresh, well seasoned Chinese cabbage, and some Pepsi, or kefir will do to. I don’t think I’d manage a dessert too, I usually don’t eat a lot at once and I’m stuffed very quickly, but if I’d be able to eat it, ideally it would be either Toffi cake or a jelly with fruit – blueberries would be the best, or peaches, or grapes, well anything except for bananas, avocado or papaya would be cool – and maybe a little bit of whipped cream on the top.

As for the style of food I like, to put it simply I just like spicy food. Not everything on Earth that is spicy maybe, but yeah, I love a lot of spicy things. Therefore it’s predictable I like Mexican cuisine, as well as Indian. I also like mediterranean food, particularly Italian. And OMG a few years ago I was in a Moroccan restaurant. I was at the boarding school then and it was my birthday and a person that was visiting me from time to time to make my life more manageable took me there and there was so much yummy food, I still can’t get over it lol. Pity I was only once there and hadn’t have much experience with Moroccan cuisine besides that episode. 😀

 

Three days, three quotes challenge, day 2.

Time for another quote in the challenge. I fully agree with it.

“I do not understand how anyone can live without one small place of enchantment to turn to”.

Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings

Friendly Fill-ins.

1. New… things are… coming. Soon I’ll be taking my finals and I’m curious what will come afterwards. I have no ideas, to be totally honest.

2. I love to…. listen to my music on the…. road to anywhere I go by car. When my Mum drives she usually listens to her own music, and I listen to my own, and that’s OK for both of us. We still talk to each other though, especially if we go somewhere further.

3. When I was a child, I loved to play… with balls. Glass balls, iron balls, usually. Or figurines, I had a lot of glass figurines. I hardly ever played with dolls and although I had quite a lot of stuffed animals, I usually just slept with them, not played.

4. One… day I… would love to speak all my most favourite languages, and maybe even some more, that are not strictly among my most most favourites.

Thanks to

15 And Meowing

and

MCGuffy’s Reader

for hosting Friendly Fill-ins.

 

Three days, three quotes challenge – day 1.

Thanks so much for Saumya at

Randomness Inked

for nominating me to Three Days, Three Quotes Challenge.

Today’s quote comes from my Mum’s calendar, she has a lot of them in it and they’re very interesting, I just found an English version of it.

Whenever you read a good book, somewhere in the world a door opens to allow in more light.

Vera Nazarian.

THe rules of the challenge say I should nominate three people for it each day, but I’m gonna leave it up to you. If it sounds fun to you, just pick it up and let me know so I can see which quotes you chose. 🙂

 

Friendly Fill-ins.

1. … My cat Misha keeps me… company almost every night. Sadly, although now we two are the only beings in this huge house, he prefers to sleep alone in the laundry, two floors below.

2. … Listening and immersing in the language, is the secret to… becoming a jack in it.

3. A friend… is someone trustworthy.

4. Right now, I am thankful… for the fact that I’m having a nice Saturday evening, with relatively good mood and really low anxiety (wow! yes, I am also very surprised, especially that finals are coming and ALL), spending time on my own – my parents were invited to my aunt’s birthday party, ZOfijka is at her cousin’s for two nights, and olek went out with his friends. I am having a glass of Jack Daniels with Pepsi, some chilli chips and listening to Emilie Nicholas’ debut album. I am also thankful that I slept well last night, recently it has been something I have a really hard time getting.

Thanks to

15 And Meowing

and

MCGuffy’s Reader

for providing us with Friendly Fill-ins. 🙂

 

5 things I like about myself.

The lovely Carol Anne over at

https://therapybits.com/2018/04/13/5-things-i-like-about-myself/

has tagged me for the 5 things I like about myself tag. Thanks so much again, Carol Anne. Check out her blog, guys, it’s just fantastic, and check out her tag post.

Rules:

Thank the nominator.

Display the picture on your post.

List 5 things you like about yourself

1 thing must be a physical attribute.

Tag 3 or more people.

Again, sorry about the picture, but don’t have anyone here to help me out with it and don’t want to make a blunder or something.

I have to admit this is probably gonna be a little hard for me to pick those things about me and be objective, but let’s give it a go:

1. I quite like my figure. I am very slim, my Mum keeps joking I am morbidly skinny though. 😀 I was kind of too skinny for years when I was younger, but now, while I’m slim, I’ve heard from lots of people that I look femininely at the same time, because I have quite well outlined hips while still having the waist which I like. I like to be feminine. I don’t particularly like my breasts though to be honest, because due to growth hormone treatment I had for hypothyroidism, I feel like they are too big in comparison to my figure and overall weight, if I had to choose between the extremes I’d rather prefer to have too small ones than too big, I won’t have children and won’t be breastfeeding them either way, so it’s a bit pointless, but well that’s life. 😀

2. I like my ability to learn new languages. I get their accents quickly, or at least can mimick them which makes people laugh, but I also am a lover of words so absorb the vocabulary fairly quickly and I am pretty sensitive to linguistical details, like the way people talk, mistakes they make while talking, etc. etc. I really do like it, but sometimes it can be bothering if you talk with someone who has some annoying way of speaking or makes a lot of mistakes because I focus too much on details instead of what they say, my Mum has it too.

3. I am a good listener. Or at least so I can guess because lots of people come to me with their troubles and joys. Almost everyone from my immediate family likes to tell me about what matters to them, or to just rant at the world, or even want me to give them advice on things I’ve never had experience before. Sometimes when I give them advice they’re like “Oh wow! I didn’t think about it! I’ll do so!” like I’d explore something that no one knew about before lol. And I must say I quite like listening to people, their stories, learn more about them, it’s somehow fascinating. What my Mum told me recently surprised me greatly. She told me she thinks she’d probably become crazy if I wasn’t at home with her, because she wouldn’t have no one to talk to and to have “intellectual discussions” with. 😀 I felt really special (especially that I’d never thought that I may make any significant support in her particular case and I was very surprised to hear it.

4. I like that I “feel” other people easily. I am fairly good at feeling others emotions, I can easily know what their personalities are like, and usually I’m right in my assumptions, but try to not attach to them too much in case they’re not right. My grandad calls me X-ray because of that, or clairvoyant. 😀 And my Mum often asks me about opinions I have on people, although she’s pretty much the same and also feels people very well, maybe even better because she’s a visual and there are so many visual details that can tell you a lot about a person.

5. I like my sense of humour and my intelligence, I list them together because I don’t think they can exist without each other. They have both helped me in so many situations in my life.

I tag:

Astrid:

https://bloggingastrid.wordpress.com/

The Bee Writes:

https://beehalton.com

Cyranny’s Cove:

https://cyranny.wordpress.com/

and anyone else who’d like to participate, just let me know you did it so I can check your 5 things out. 🙂

Share Your World.

Traditionally, I’m answering Cee’s questions which she asks us every week in her Share Your World

series.

 

Been anywhere recently for the first time?

Recently? Don’t remember, so guess not.

 

List three favorite book characters.

Valancy Stirling – “Blue Castle”.

Dean Priest – “Emily Of New Moon” series (and almost all the characters from these series, but for some reason I’ve always really liked Dean).

Melania (Mila) Borejko – “Jeżycjada” series.

 

What is your favorite non alcololic drink: hot or cold?

Kefir, kefir, kefir, kefir and… hmm, did I mention kefir? Other than that, water, or water with lemon juice, raspberry tea is my newest discovery, hot chocolate or cocoa, although I rarely have it, strong, black coffee, but also latte or cappucino, buttermilk, orange juice, Pepsi, milkshakes, almond milk.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha, blogging and writing, some nice time with my Mum. I had a Zombie day =completely sleepless night last week and after that I was so sleepy that my sleep cycle settled a bit, but it’s still not perfect, but at least something. My family finally got over this tummy bug so at least one less thing I’m anxious about. I finally wrote my History control assignment, couldn’t motivate to it for a long time and it wasn’t a masterpiece, but at least i did it and passed. Misha has a new cartonboard house in my room where he sleeps willingly and spends all days and nights with me which’s nice. My crush Gwilym Bowen Rhys released an album, or rather took part on the album with various other artists, it was released on 6th April, there are two songs of his, I always love it when my music crushes make something new, of course I am a happy owner of this album already.

 

Friendly Fill-ins.

Again, a bit late – but better late than never – I’m participating in Friendly Fill-ins, held by

15 And Meowing

and MCGuffy’s Reader

1. … Gwilym Bowen Rhys is one of my… music crushes.

2. I… am going to… have final exams in May. But I guess my brain is going to freak out and explode before it happens.

3. I have a hard time… falling asleep at night. It always takes me at least 15 minutes, unless I’m like really really knackered and it’s pretty annoying. I am jealous for people like my Dad who fall asleep once they lay down.

… Learning languages, especially their sounds, is easy for me.

 

Share Your World.

Time to participate in Cee’s Share Your World

What was or is your favorite cartoon?
Gummi Bears. I loved them so much as a kid and watched every Sunday. Now I don’t watch cartoons at all though.

Which cooking utensil (other than the usual pots and pans etc) would you miss the most?
I think none in particular, as I don’t cook for myself.

Would you dare to sleep in haunted house overnight?
Oh no no no nooo! Absolutely not. 😀 I have times when even the slightest sounds in the house at night can scare the hell out of me, so no, thanks so much for the offer. 😀

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Honestly it was a horrid week for me, fulled of anxiety of all kinds an other crap, but there was Easter and some positives were for sure. Misha, blogging and writing as always. Easter Sunday was actually very nice, the only day I could call nice in the past week. We had a lot of family time. I got a present for Zofijka – a Sinsay gift card, some jelly beans and other sweets – and Zofijka surprised us all. She bought presents for all of us! For me, she made a bunny of sock filled with rice, and she wrote Bibiel on it. Bibiel is how she often calls me for fun. It’s sweet. Also she got me a bath salt and Toffifee, and Toffifee is always nice. We had a lot of yummy food o Easter of course which was enjoyable for all of us. At the beginning of the last week I passed one of my ENglish exams, the written one. My school ENglish exams are always very easy, so it was rather a piece of piss for me, but I’m glad I have one more exam passed. As for things related to my blog, I’m glad that on Monday two months have passed since I started blogging and also I got two blog awards last week which made me happy.

Thanks for hosting as always, Cee. 🙂

 

Friendly Fill-Ins.

This week I am also participating in Friendly Fill-ins, hosted by 15AndMeowing

and

MCGuffy’s Reader

Here are my fill-ins:

For Easter (or Passover), I… spent time with my immediate family.

2. My favorite Easter (or Passover) treat is… my Mum’s pierogi with cabbage and white sausage.

3. Lately, the song… “Grey Is All” by Elin Bell, is stuck in my head.

4. The A-Z Blogging Challenge… is something I’ve never taken part in and heard about it for the first time this year. I observe how this challenge goes for a few bloggers and it looks like fun.

 

Share Your World.

It’s time for Share Your World. Thanks to Ceefor holding this challenge.

 

What is your favorite color of hair? You can name your hair color or a color that you just like.

Black. I used to have my hair dyed black all the time, I loved it. I wanted to look Gothic, which was easy because I have a very pale skin. I still love black, anything black, but I stopped dying my hair sometime ago. It’s laborious and time consuming, and I’m not this kind of girl who has the patience for embellishing herself for hours, especially that now I spend most of my time alone or with closest family, and I’d need someone’s help with it. I didn’t like though if my hair colour had some red glimmers and apparently it didn’t even look well with me overall. Though, despite I don’t like red colour in general, sometimes I used to dye my hair all red, kind of red orange, because it also fit me and I liked it, although not all the time. Some people were saying I look Celtic. 😀

List at least 5 things that you are good at.

Hm, let’s think… Languages, well I like learning them and my family constantly says I’m sooo very good. Listening to other people, or at least so I can think because lots of people in my family and others have been telling me lots of important stuff for them, and I like to listen to other people’s stories and learn about them. “Feeling other people, I mean I can easily know things about their personality, what they are feeling, what they like or not. Because of that, my grandad often calls me X-ray. 😀 He says I can read minds, but that’s obviously not true lol. Hm, what else… some people say I have a god sense of humour, actually that was my specialty at school – making others laugh, ’cause it helped me too. Some say my sense of humour is a bit dark/sarcastic. Actually I have this thing after my Dad that I find it possible to laugh off actually anything, like I have that kinda “inner voice” commenting things and making them look ridiculous, but because at the same time I know when to stay serious, I always try to suppress it, although I got into trouble a few times because of this thing. 😀 And the last thing… hm, I have huge, free and absolutely undaunted imagination. Sometimes I just wish I wouldn’t have it, but overall, I wouldn’t be able to exist without it at all. So it’s like my best friend and archenemy at the same time.

What is your favorite animal or type of animal? (pets, dolphins, stuffed, wild cats, etc)

Cats, especially Russian blue (obviously) and horses.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha, blogging, writing, an appt with the therapist specialising in personality disorder, which helped me clear up many things about me and my life and the world in general, and maybe will lead me to getting a diagnosis finally, which in turn, as I hope, will help me to get myself better and get appropriate help. I didn’t have Maths this past week at all yaay! well, I’m sorry for my Maths tutor, she’s ill so often, but was just happy for myself, it’s so overwhelming and brain draining. Passed two of my term exams at school, and although wasn’t able to prepare much, they seemed to go relatively well. And wrote another control assignment for school, so now have only two to make. Was making a birthday present for my friend Carol Anne

which was a lot of fun and we spend a lot of time with Mum doing i. Overall it was a rather tough week, but also some very positive things happened, as you see.

My fav animal.

It’s the #WYF day at Revenge Of Eve

and today the question is – what’s your favourite animal? Thanks for hosting, Eve. 🙂

So, my favourite animal for years was bear. Just any kind of a bear. Now I think it was mainly because I just liked our Polish word for a little bear, or a teddy bear, which is miś. I still really like it, I mean the word, and I still have my most favourite teddybear Pimpuś, but that’s  it about my love for bears now. I like them, but not as crazily as when I was younger, when I wanted to feed bears in the zoo with honey. 😀

Now, my favourite animals are cats and horses. Cats because they’re just so mysterious, enigmatic, introverted, silent, you may think they’re so silent so that you may not even notice their presence, but still most of them has something very soothing about them, my Misha is this kind of cat, I’ll always somehow sense when he’s around. I don’t know… the atmosphere changes in some way lol. Plus I think cats have a lot of traits in common with me, or otherwise, so that’s probably why I like them and why many of them seem to like me. My gramma’s cat Felix, about whom gramma says that he’s wild, always comes to me and lies at my feet when we come to her. He never lets me stroke him, but aparently, besides gramma, he doesn’t lay at anyone else’s feet and doesn’t act this way around anyone. Maybe he feels Misha’s smell. Before I got Misha and became convinced that Russian blue cats are just the best cats under the sun, I wanted to have a black cat, but now I wouldn’t change Misha for a million billiards of black cats. He’s just the best and he’s my baby and my best friend and just everything for me. But well, I named him Misha, which (apart from being a diminutIVE of michael) is Russian for little bear or teddy bear, so I must still have those bears on my mind haha. But Misha is such a cool name for him, rather gentle and cute, but still handsome and masculine and charming, just as Misha is. There aren’t many names with this kind of vibe. Oh but I’m going off topic!

Let’s go on to horses. When I was a little girl I was just so enormously afraid of horses. I’ve always had balance issues and height anxiety, and we all had obligatory hipotherapy at the nursery. I was just so shaky when I had to have it. Usually we just were riding around, but if I had to do some exercises on the horse, I always failed. I was so afraid and my coordination and balance was so rubbish, so that everyTime I finished hipotherapy I was more and more discouraged and more afraid. Then the nightmare ended and at school only a few kids with most complex needs like CP were having hipotherapy so I was immensely relieved. But after a few years my Mum decided to sign me up for hipotherapy at our local stud. Mum didn’t really know about my fear for horses, but even if she did, I don’t think it would change that much. I got to know I’ll have hipotherapy the very last day before it was supposed to happen and I was just panicking. You know, after all these years, my fear grew just so huuuge. But then we went there, I sat on a horse, felt very very anxious and dizzy for a while and then started to relax and actually at the end of my hour I was extatic. I liked this horse so much! I started to love horse riding very passionately. I was still afraid and my balance was still a mess, but after some time, my hipotherapist, who is also a professional rider and horse riding instructor, offered me to have actual riding lessons because she said I’m very good at it despite my issues. And I agreed and I still horseride in the same stud, on the same horse and with the same instructor, having just elements of hipotherapy, but generally learning to ride and sometimes still participating in competitions. I am so grateful for my Mum. Actually it is still weird for me that I am riding, because theoretically it seems like the worst choice of sport for me – it requires good balance, sensory integration, coordination skills and a few other things that I don’t have in abundance, but I’m still doing it and apparently it goes well. I still do have some fear every time I’m riding, my horse is very big so I need to face my height anxiety and I hate riding downhill, but it’s not so overwhelming at all.

I love my horse. His name is Czardasz, which is literally just czardas in Polish,but everyone calls him Łoś, which means elk. 😀 He’s very big as I said and very old, he’s 23, having various health difficulties, but still working. He’s just so incredibly phlegmatic, he’s so calm that when he’s walking, he can literally lose himself so deeply in his thoughts (or in sleep 😀 ) that he can easily stumble, but overall he’s so calm that he’s the safest horse on Earth. He’s very demanding for his riders, he never lets me do things by halves while riding and somehow he always knows the possibilities of a rider, for example if a child with cerebral palsy is riding him apparently he can feel what they can do, and if they can do something, he will only respond if they will do it correctly. but despite his phlegmatic, a bit indifferent you could say, way of being, he’s very feeling and emotional. We get along really well and actually are pretty similar.

My horse “for replacement” (so when Łoś is ill or something else happens) is named Tarzan, but everyone calls him Rudy (which means redhead). He’s younger than Łoś, his very sensitive and lively, and a bit cheeky. I love troting on him, because his trot is so light. My instructor says it’s so light you could as well just sit down, relax  and have a cup of coffee while troting and you wouldn’t spill a drop and that’s true. 😀 He can be very stubborn at times and his favourite food are apples. Łoś can’t eat apples, but when I’m riding on Rudy and don’t have apples for him, but only carrots, he seems rather disappointed, although he’ll devour anything edible willingly.

So yeah, that’s it about my favourite animals.

 

Friendly Fill-ins.

This week I’m also participating in Friendly Fill-ins, held by 15 And Meowing

and

MCGuffy’s Reader

.

1. I am the… listener in my family. I don’t know why, my family really likes to talk to me about their issues or secrets or just complain about the world and people’s dogs pooing on the streets etc. Especially my Mum, she says no one else here would understand her issues, but everyone else does it too, well maybe besides Olek. I think I like it ’cause it probably has to mean they trust me or something.

2. I have… 2 sibling(s). 19-year-old brother Olek (nickname of Aleksander) and 10-year-old sis Zofijka (Zofia). I have a very good relationship with Zofijka.

3. I am looking forward to… finally passing all my school exams, especially the final exams, this spring. I am incredibly anxious about it, but also I want it to happen quickly, now, just to get through it finally. But my final exams will take place in May.

4. The first sign of spring this year was… cranes whooping near my window.

 

Share Your World – March 19, 2018.

What is your earliest memory?

Many people with whom I’ve shared this memory say it’s impossible to have such early memories, as I was 2 years old then, but anyway I remember it and it is too vivid and subjective to be just something I remember from what others told me, in my opinion, also when I talked to my parents about it they told me they never knew that I perceived that situation this way.

This memory is about my brother’s birth, or rather a bit afterwards. I only remember that me and Dad went to Mum to the hospital, after he was born. I remember being in the lift for the first time and being a little bit afraid, I was often afraid of such kind of motion, something moving up and down, because of my balance issues. Then we came in to the room where Mum lied, she was rather weak and didn’t talk much as she probably still was under the influence of anesthetics (we were all born through caesaeran section). She let me touch her tummy and the impresson of this moment has stayed with me for very long. I felt her stitches and it somehow moved me very deeply. I know I felt like it is my brother’s fault and it has to be very painful for Mum. I told them he had to be terrible if she now looks like this and my Dad was laughing he surely is an absolute monster. Then I remember us leaving and being n the lift again and going out of the hospital and nothing more about it. But I’ve often thought this situation had to have some significant influence on me. My parents told me, and I remember some bits and pieces myself, that I was often pretty rude for Olek, yelling at him or punching him all of the sudden and not letting him touch me, although it wasn’t a long period of time, but I guess we never had a proper/normal sibling relationship, mainly because of our limited contact as I spent most of my childhood away from home.

Which way does the toilet paper roll go? Over or under?

Over.

What makes you feel grounded?

Having my feet on the ground, warmth, but not heat, touching Misha and his purr, soft, relaxing music, deep breathing, and for some reason which I don’t really get – the scent and taste of mint.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha

, progress in my languages, blogging, strengthening relationship with my Mum. I was doing a lot of self care stuff this week, much more than usual. On Monday I had a very nice morning. Dad needed to do something in the port, he delivers fuel, often to ports, and has other things to do there related to his work as well. He offered my Mum to go with him and as she agreed, I decided to go with them too. While Dad was in the port, we were at the Sea

and it was very nice and beautiful and we had a great time together, we also spent a lot of time together after we got back home. Yesterday we all were in a restaurant and had a big dinner, very yummy. It was anxiety provoking, it is always very anxiety provoking for me to go out and there was a lot of people, I also find it rather stressful to eat among many people, but despite all that anxiety it was very nice, I can’t remember when was the last time before yesterday that I was in a restaurant. 😀 I guess more than a year ago. and although overall my week was rather uneventful, it was mostly good.

This challenge is hosted by Cee

. Thanks so much. 🙂

 

Friendly Fill-ins.

I discovered this great challenge hosted by 15 And Meowing

and MCGuffy’s Reader

not so long ago and thought I’ll participate in it this week.

So, here goes:

1. When I am nervous, I…. feel cold shaky, bite my nails/lips, have nausea. It depends on how nervous I am, but usually even when I’m just a bit nervous, I won’t eat anything.

2. When I am angry, I… usually won’t let other people know about it, unless I’m like raging and physically can’t hold it inside any longer. It also happens that I cry or feel like crying. And honestly I don’t like it ’cause then I feel like I can’t cope with it, but on the other hand I don’t get angry very easily and even if I get angry, it usually doesn’t last very long, although can be intense for me. Since I have trouble letting out my emotions, it still happens sometimes that I self harm because of anger, but now it’s rather rarely.

3. Today, I know for sure… that Zofijka won’t take part in her volleyball tournament today. She plays volleyball and we thought she’d play today, but yesterday she fell over at school and her knees hurt a lot and are bruised, so she just went there as a supporter.

4. For St. Patrick’s Day, I… am listening to a lot of Irish music in my green room.