Sjaella – “Northern Lights”.

   Hey people! 🙂 

   For today, I have a very beautiful, choral piece for you. As you can guess from the title, this composition is inspired by the beauty of Aurora Borealis. As i understand Ola Gjeilo-s – the composer – words about this piece, it is also inspired more generally by this serene, yet heartbreaking, or “terrible” as he says, kind of beauty. He was writing this on Christmas day, in an attic in Norway while northern lights were happening, and he thought that this phenomenon reflects this kind of beauty very well. Ola Gjeilo currently lives in the US, and says that Northern lights are one of his more Norwegian works. The lyrics come from the Latin translation of Song of Solomon. 

   The version of this piece that I am sharing with you is performed by a six-piece female choral ensemble from Leipzig called Sjaella. Sjaella is a made-up word based on the Swedish word själ meaning soul. I really love the sound of this composition sung by them. Here are the Biblical lyrics in English: 

   Thou art beautiful, O my love,

sweet and comely as Jerusalem,

terrible as an army set in array.

Turn away thy eyes from me,

for they have made me flee away.

Margie Butler ft. Florrie Brown – “Beauty of the North/Glen of Copsewood”.

For today, I have a beautiful Celtic two-piece set. I don’t know any other music from Florrie Brown, but as for Margie Butler she’s one of the very first Celtic harpists I’ve heard, I got a cassette with her music from my Mum years ago, Margie is from Ireland. As far as I’m aware, this first piece was composed by Scottish fiddler Alasdair Fraser, and the other is traditional.

Question of the day.

What was the last health or beauty product you purchased?

My answer:

There might have been something more recent that I just can’t recall, but the most recent thing that I can think of was for Misha’s health actually, that is deworming tablets. His deworming was already overdue, and although getting Misha to swallow a pill is a nightmare for both him and the person involved, it’s still better and more short-term stress than getting him to the vet for an injection.

You? 🙂

Question of the day (28th April).

Hey people! 🙂

Do you use a skincare routine consistently? Why or why not?

My answer:

Not really. The only thing I try to do consistently, at least in the winter months when my skin gets really dry, is using some oil, like coconut oil most of the time, on it, and I have a peeling once in a blue moon, but it’s a very minimalistic and natural peeling, I don’t use any ready-made exfoliators. I seriously don’t feel the need for anything more, I’m not someone who would interact with lots of people in a professional setting or anything like that so I don’t think I have to look perfectly, and doing it for myself doesn’t really sound convincing because I’ve always found these kind of beauty self-care things quite uninteresting. On one hand I think my skin isn’t that bad at all that I’d need some fancy skincare routine, I have no big problems with it apart from being a bit too dry at some times, and on the other hand, I don’t know how to put it but it’s like, I don’t have the drive for such things because my self-esteem is too messed up, so I just don’t see the point in bothering, it’s not something pleasurable to me like it is for some people and it doesn’t really affect the way I feel about myself. I’m sure the fact that I’m blind plays some role in it too though I know some blind girls and women who are way more image-conscious than a lot of sighted people I know. And, while my Mum is someone who definitely likes to look good and take care of her appearance, and even is a trained beautician, by the time I was about the age when girls usually learn about those things, her views on skincare shifted dramatically, she’s always inclined to live healthily, but it’s become much more of a passion and a discovery journey for her and she’s started living much more naturally, she used to use tons of things for her skin and now she doesn’t use any shop-bought beauty products at all and relies much more on sport and diet. So the message I was receiving at that time was that it’s actually good that I’m not interested in putting too much shit of unknown origin on my skin, because skin will not absorb all that, so usually a skin product will only have an effect as long as you don’t wash it off, and what will get through the skin may be actually harmful, and it’s illogical to expect for example a cream, especially a cheap one, to make your skin look considerably better, and that it’s better to use natural oils from plants for example, we even use a homemade deodourant. Most of that made a lot of sense to me and still does, so that’s how I am trying to live though I am not nearly as much of a lifestyle freak as my Mum, rather than doing everything to stay healthy or something like that I just do what I like, and if it happens to be good for my health, then it’s a great bonus. She has it much more difficult these days with Sofi because she is much more image-conscious, she’s very pretty and knows about it and wants to fit in, watches loads of YouTube videos and observes her school mates and while she rationally understands Mum’s point of view, she really wants to do make-up, manicure etc. though she’s rarely allowed, but when she is allowed she is very creative, and she does have a very fancy skincare routine.

What about you? 🙂

Question of the day.

Okay, we’ve had quite a lot of more or less family focused questions. For now, let’s focus on our hair.

If you had to choose a hair colour other than your natural colour, what would it be?

My answer:

Definitely black. Dyed black hair don’t look as good as natural but oh well… Or if not raven black, then very dark brown. Otherwise, red. Yes, yes, I hate red, but as a hair colour it’s quite cool, the kind of orange red at least. In fact, I used to dye my hair all these colours, but I no longer do as it’s quite a hassle and I lack the patience for such things, plus I can’t do that independently, and with black/dark brown, it’s hard to find a dye that doesn’t have a shade of red, and then I dislike it, and it doesn’t look good on me either.

You. 🙂

Question of the day.

Hi people! 🙂

My question for you today is:

Who taught you to style your hair, or take care of your hair?

My answer:

I am pretty sure it must have been my Mum who taught me the basic things, like brushing and washing my hair, using the conditioners and such. But I can’t really style my hair. Also, my current hairstyle doesn’t really require much styling. Which I am happy about, as I myself am not into that and find a waste of time, and hate when people are playing around with my hair, I don’t understand how some people can even love it! 😀

How about you? 🙂

Question of the day.

Hi guys. 🙂

Here’s my question for you for today, a girly one:

Who taught you to apply makeup?

My answer:

I can’t really apply makeup, and I can’t say I care. I hardly ever wear makeup anyway, and I don’t think it would change a lot if I knew how to do it. Zofijka tried to teach me, she’s only 12 but has been an expert in such things since many years, but that didn’t really work out. When I was younger, maybe 15 or so, figuring out such things, I asked my Mum to teach me how to do it, not as much because I wanted, but more because I considered it sort of necessary, it felt to me like all women do this so I probably should too, that it would be kind of awkward if I wouldn’t. But since my Mum knew I’m not normally into that sort of things she asked me “Do you seriously want it?” and I said no, but I guess I should know, she was like: “No, why?”, and, yeah, I actually realised I don’t need it at all. If I do want/need some makeup, I can ask Zofijka, her style is quite different but she likes to be treated as an expert, or I can ask Mum, or go to a makeup artist. I’m allergic to loads of makeup products anyway and so I look quite spectacularly awful after applying them, and my skin feels even worse than it looks. 😀

How was it with you? 🙂

Question of the day.

Do you shave your body hair? Do you ever wax?

My answer:

I don’t at all. I was never encouraged by my Mum to shave, as she has bad experiences with it herself, plus if I’d do that myself that would be quite difficult. When my Mum was a teen, she was at some sort of a camp or something, and her roommate saw her legs and was like: “Oh God, you don’t shave yourself?!”. So, as a teen, my Mum didn’t want to stand out too much and she thought maybe it’s something shameful that she doesn’t do that, and she started to shave. But once she started to shave, she couldn’t stop, because she thought that if she did, her hair would grow even quicker and longer than before she started doing it and her hair is dark so no fun. And after some time it somehow happened that she got folicules inflammation or however it’s called, something like that, that was difficult to get rid off. So at some point when I was a teen and started to notice that some of the girls at my boarding school started shaving, I was asking Mum whether I should do that too or what. And as I said, Mum discouraged me from that, saying that it’s definitely not necessary, if I want, I can, but don’t have to, especially that because I’m blind and not particularly dexterous and well coordinated as you know, that certainly wouldn’t be easy for me to master and could be quite risky. Besides, I seem to have gotten lucky genes after my grandad, who has little to no hair on his arms on legs, I do have some body hair, but only a little bit and I guess they’re not too dark really. When I got a bit older, I was more concerned about my pubic hair, so eventually my Mum did try to teach me how to shave them, but it didn’t really work out as I wasn’t able to do it on my own, and wouldn’t feel OK asking someone of the staff at school to help me out. And when some time after that my Mum realised that I was self harming with those razors she got scared and didn’t let me use them anymore anyway. And actually I no longer feel like shaving even my pubic hair at all, I’m OK with them, and so far I don’t have a sexual life and don’t plan in the nearest future so I don’t have to take anyone else’s opinion into consideration. 😀 Now Zofijka, who is developing much faster than I did, is having the same dilemma, to shave or not to shave, but she seems to be much more concerned about that, even despite Mum’s discouragement. 😀 And I’ve never actually tried waxing. I guess I don’t care about the hair thing at all nowadays.

Do you? What do you do with it? 🙂

Question of the day.

Do you ever get your nails done?

My answer:

I like having my nails done. In contrast to most other beauty related procedures, I do like how nail polishing feels, there is something nice about it. I like darker and more muted colours for my nails as well as for almost everything actually). But what is the point of doing your nails if you’re a nail biter/picker?! Absolutely none! I might be good with it for one day, desperately trying not to bite or pick my nails, not knowing what to do with my hands and all the nervous energy, but trying desperately, but the next day I usually forget about it or can’t resist it when some bigger stressor occurs or when I’m bored or something and then my nails look even worse than they did before. I can be a real intense and erratic nail biter and nail and cuticle picker so my nails look better normal than with all the polish and stuff. Still, sometimes, once in a while, I do get my nails done. Just to have to clean out all the polish the next day because it looks ewwwww gross. 😀

You? 🙂 Which colours do you like on your nails? 🙂

Question of the day (24th April).

What do you do with your hair? Do you ever style it? Do you get it cut at a salon? How often do you wash your hair, and what type of shampoo/conditioner do you use?

My answer:

What do I do with my hair? As little as possible. 😀 I liked it when I had long, very long hair but it’s awfully impractical and uncomfortable. Now I have a short, light hairstyle, a bit of a bob I’d say…? so I just brush it in the morning and all is cool. I have very thick hair though so I need to cut it regularly. I do it at a salon. I hate it, as it’s soooooo boring, and you have to smalltalk with people, and I hate people touching me, but oh well, not much can I do. Maybe at some point I’ll become a pro hermit and then I’ll be able to stop caring about that, but as long as I live with people I have to bear such inconveniences. I rarely style my hair, if I do, my Mum styles it for me for some family gathering. Grrrrrrrr I hate it, it’s… yes you guessed it it’s boring! 😀 I used to dye my hair and liked it, I don’t like my natural colour, it’s kind of mousey (is that how you call it?). One guy I liked once told me that I’d look terrific in black hair because apparently the combo of blue eyes and black hair is so rare and intriguing etc. and I bought this idea, and dyed my hair black for a good while. I did look well in this colour, everyone said so except for my grandma and I felt good in it, but the problem was that many black dyes actually have red in them apparently. While on some people that looks cool, my Mum says I am closest to a winter in that seasons classification or whatever it is so warm colours apparently don’t go too well with me or at least some of them don’t, for me that red glimpse would destroy the effect and I disliked it. And other than that I didn’t have the patience and discipline for that dying thing, my Mum didn’t either, and when I’d be at the boarding school I’d have to dye it ideally every week because of how quickly my hair was growing, but of course I couldn’t, so by the time I was back home my natural hair was showing very clearly. Then I tried with very dark browns but there was often a reddish glimpse too. And finally someone else, in a bit of a sarcastic way suggested to me, that if I’m so much into everything Celtic I should dye my hair red so I would look more Celtic. I decided that I’ll take it seriously and I did have fiery red hair for a while and Mum and some other people said I looked very cool albeit original. I who am apparently a winter and hate the colour red. But when it comes to the hair colour, red is definitely fine with me, unless it’s not some weird kind of reddish that doesn’t fit me at all. But that didn’t last long either. So now I’m back to my normal mousey hair, which, surprisingly, has sort of darkened apparently over the course of that time when I was experimenting with the colours.

My hair isn’t too oily, so typically I wash it twice a week. Right now I don’t use one shampoo continuously, we have one shampoo together with Zofijka at the moment and I don’t even remember what it exactly is right now. I’d used very different conditioners throughout my life, I used to have a bad tendency for dandruff as a kid because of hypothyroidism and then I used some other stuff as a teen just to keep it healthy, but as I can remember it wasn’t really working. Now the only conditioner I use from time to time is vinegar.

You? 🙂

Question of the day (23rd April).

Hi guys. 🙂

I have some girly questions now for all my female readers out there. 🙂

Do you wear makeup? If so, how often do you wear it, and what are your favourite brands? How old were you when you started wearing makeup, and who taught you?

   My answer:

   I don’t wear makeup. Like, almost never ever. First, although I consider myself a girly girl, I don’t have much of an interest at all in THIS particular kind of girly stuff, it’s boring for me and all sorts of even hairdressing and such is just an annoying necessity for me. Second, I can’t do it myself. Many blind women can and are great at it, but, well, I can’t even always draw a straight line, so, could be quite adventurous. Third, I don’t go out much anyway these days, and I don’t really see the point of all that hassle for staying at home. Fourth, I have a kinda problem with self care stuff, just as I do with self-esteem as it is obviously related, I’ve improved in recent years and months but, ugh, if I sometimes don’t even feel like feeding myself or keeping myself warm on worse days, I don’t even think about makeup then! 😀 Fifth, I’m allergic to a lot of that makeup stuff so actually as a result I look even worse than without it, or my skin gets irritated/itchy. And as you can probably already see, I’m not enough into that to hunt for hypoallergic stuff. Lastly, I don’t even have such a model in my family that makeup is something that a woman should necessarily do. My Mum used to wear it, she is a very image conscious person, but only when she had to, so for outings or such, she didn’t like it. My Mum has always preferred to be natural, and she says she feels like a wax doll with tons of makeup on her face. Now it has to be a real big occasion for her to wear a full makeup, as she’s such a lifestyle expert nowadays and OMG there’s so much chemicals in cosmetics and you never know what they put in there! 😀 While I always mock my Mum’s obsession with all that, I kinda share that approach, and I just don’t feel the need to do that. All the cosmetics I use, OK, the big majority, are just natural home-made things.
I did use to wear some more make-up in my late teens, when I was in a lot of ways identifying myself as a Goth, I still do feel a lot in common with Goths though I never was like a full Goth, at some point I just met some people online who were Goths and we seemed to get along very well, I always liked black and wearing black things, and I have naturally a very light skin and always liked it this way, I liked Gothic music and felt like I had a bit of a similar mentality to them in a lot of ways. I wasn’t going around looking like a Goth, but liked a bit of a Gothic looking makeup at times and would most willingly wear black clothes all the time. As I said I still somehow feel drawn to the Gothic subculture but am not as crazy about it and sort of outgrew it quite a few years ago. I guess the last time I wore a full makeup (a serious one, I mean for serious purposes) in a Gothic style was at my 18th birthday party. Now I only sometimes underline my eyebrows as they are very light, and that’s it. The actual last time I wore makeup was about a year, maybe longer, ago, when I was playing with Zofijka. We like pretending things or playing crazy roleplays or such and that time we were playing that we were two very stupid and brainless country girls going for a party to some sort of a club. we were able to only talk about guys, and our favourite music which was very trashy dance and everything that is cringy in the world, it was all very comical so when we weren’t playing, we were laughing our brains out at ourselves, but well you’d have to see it for it to be funny. We both had very overdone, heavy makeups, with crazy amounts of rouge, and I was wearing a ragingly red lipstick and we both had weird hairstyles and high-heel shoes (Zofijka was in her school traCKSUIT…) and were chewing gum very demonstratively for an even more cringy effect. We stuffed our clothes with things so we also looked very fat, and just… brainless overall, you get it. The problem appeared when Zofijka tried to get rid of all that makeup on my face and couldn’t get rid of all that rouge, it lasted for so long that I was afraid I will have to stay like this hahaha. So those are the only purposes for which I wear makeup nowadays, entertaining Zofijka hahaha. That’s more interesting though I guess.

   OK so how about you? 🙂

Question of the day.

What’s the most beautiful place you’ve ever been?

My answer:

The most beautiful? Hmmm… I’m sure I’ve been to many beautiful places, although it’s hard to recall them now. I consider Stockholm very beautiful, because I just love Sweden, even that little piece of Sweden I’ve been to. Also when I think of beautiful places I think about one of the beaches we’ve been to, it’s in one of national parks and it’s really beautiful there. The village is called Smołdzino, and it is a very small, poor village, but very clean and quiet, and the sea and the beach seems cleaner than anywhere else I’ve been to, even though it’s the same sea as anywhere else in Poland. It was a very nice place. I also consider my room a beautiful place simply because it’s a safe space for me. It’s a bit messy though so I guess I’m not objective. 😀

How about you? 🙂