Question of the day.

What are you currently worried about?

My answer:

Surprisingly, I don’t seem to be having a lot of worries at the moment, usually my brain’s a lot more loaded with things like that so the current state is a rare occasion so I guess I should seriously celebrate it before things change or something. The main thing I’m worried about at the moment isn’t really something I can write in detail about on here as it’s awfully personal and not so much for myself as my family and something that we’re sort of struggling with and I’m not really sure how this whole thing will actually end. It’s getting a bit exhausting as it’s been dragging for months now and nothing makes it look like it’s going to be resolved any time soon, as the person who could have very easily resolved it with one word just doesn’t seem willing and long-term this may have all sorts of effects which are pretty scary to think of. That’s why for now I’m trying to avoid thinking long-term about this, and thankfully so far have been rather successful, which is also a pretty rare thing with my brain. More short-term, I’m worried because tomorrow I’ll basically have to spend the day one on one with this charming individual and how I’m gonna handle it, I mean, how I’m gonna handle being pissed and not showing it for the whole freakin’ day with no other people around. Moreover, I’m supposed to pretend that I don’t know about all the shit they’ve created. If I’ll make it I’ll be really proud of myself, or in any case I probably should be. ๐Ÿ˜€ Even without all that stuff going on right now, this individual can be really annoying and difficult when you spend a lot of time with them individually, so all my stifling skills will certainly come in handy tomorrow and hopefully won’t fail when they’re actually needed.

How about your worries? ๐Ÿ™‚

12 thoughts on “Question of the day.”

  1. I worry so much about every little thing (real and made up) all day every day, nothing in particular stands out. If I had to grab onto one, it would be “I am worried that my heavy eyes today are a sign of an impending headache, and I have too much work to do today to deal with that.” But give me 15 minutes and I’ll think of something else.

    Good luck dealing with those issues. It is never easy to be present with someone you want to strangle!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks. ๐Ÿ™‚
      I hope you won’t end up having a headache after all as it’s seriously such a nuisance when that happens while you have to work on something and can’t really do it later.
      I’m very much like you where worries are concerned, typically my brain hardly ever stops ruminating, although there are times when it’s more intense than others.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh my! Feel free to email me if you want to talk!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Hmm… I’ve been worried about my anger levels again. I SHOULD be worried about my trip and getting a refund, but I’m seeing it more on a level of, “Meg, you should be less reactive and more zen, and you’ve got to get it together.” I feel like I lost it yesterday somewhat but then pulled it together. I’d give myself a B-minus for my efforts where I would’ve gotten a D-minus in the past, but I’m upset that I didn’t get a higher score than a B-minus! I’m also concerned that the situation isn’t resolved yet (except inasmuch as my flight to Prague is still on, but I haven’t been reimbursed for the original ticket). While on the one hand I love the chance to practice not getting angry, on the other hand, it’s not good for my equanimity. Ugh!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks. ๐Ÿ™‚ Thankfully yesterday went reasonably well and I’ve even managed not to explode or anything. Years of practice in stifling must’ve paid off.
      But it seems like it all would have been more balanced for both of us where anger is concerned if we could share the excess stuff we have with each other – I’d share some of my stifling skills with you, and you’d share some of your external reactivity with me. ๐Ÿ˜€ I suppose that wouldn’t help much with being angry but at least we’d both get better at anger management haha.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. HA HA HA HA HA! That’s brilliant! I love it!

        I used to be very reserved! I was timid, polite, and repressed. Then stuff happened and I turned to the dark side! ๐Ÿ˜€ I can’t quite decide if it would be good for you to experience the same (or to change without experiencing anything that causes it), but I feel quite liberated since I changed! On the other hand, I’m always feeling bad about myself! There must be a balance! If I can find it from my end, maybe you can find it from your end as well!! That would be awesome!! I’m glad yesterday went reasonably well!! If you ever do explode, hopefully it will feel liberating and/or lead you to the place of balance I’m trying to find!!

        Liked by 2 people

    2. Yeah, I think the balance is achievable from both ends indeed, the thing is just to unlearn some strategies and learn others to replace them, except the problem starts when you want to set the new ones as default. At least my brain really doesn’t like changing its default settings, and so far it’s never worked so that they still would be set to default in some crisis situation. ๐Ÿ˜€
      I have exploded quite a few times especially when I was younger, but it was only when there was no more place for stifling or even imploding so basically no other option, and yeah, in a way it perhaps did feel liberating, but most of all it felt super destructive. ๐Ÿ˜€

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Good points! I think I need to reach a place of being, like, I could go postal, but I shouldn’t. That might help me find balance! I know what you mean about default settings!! It’s sort of weird that mine changed so drastically!! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ I agree that we can find balance from both ends! I think in my case it’s helped to come to this extreme of the anger continuum and that I have a better chance of getting back to “center” from this side. In your case, I’m hopeful you can find similar balance from your end!! Go us!! YAY!! I wonder if you’re not being assertive enough? But even assertion can be hard. I remember that!! Ugh!! At any rate, I have total faith that we’ll both figure it out! YAY!

        Liked by 2 people

    3. Yeah, I guess it just sometimes sort of happens on its own accord that our default settings get drastically changed without us doing much to it, it’s been the case with me too though in different areas.
      Oh yeah I’m sure that I often could be more assertive than I am and this is a problem too, but I don’t think this is directly related to the suppressing thing or if it is, it’s one of multiple factors.

      Liked by 2 people

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