Question of the day.

What have you managed to avoid?

My answer:

Well, I have avoidant PD for a reason, so a whole lot of things. πŸ˜€ But I suppose one of the more interesting things is that I have managed to avoid falling in love so far. And I don’t have a problem with it, it’s kinda funny that everyone’s talking about romantic love and wanting it and chasing it or healing their wounds from toxic relationships where they’ve fallen in love with the wrong person, most people around my age that I know have been with at least one person already or are even in a steady relationship, or have experienced unrequited love or something like that, and I don’t even really know what it’s like to be in love. I suppose it’s slightly overrated. I’m quite curious what it would/will be like if it would ever happen to me in the future. On some level, about which I wrote not long ago, it does add up to my general feeling of inadequacy in that it seems to be something most people experience multiple times so it’s yet another thing that confirms that I’m not really all that normal, but on the other hand it’s not like I have a special desire to experience love or be in a relationship or have someone love me, if it’ll happen spontaneously (which seems unlikely as I do little peopling), it just will and it’s really cool as long as I’ll be able to handle it properly, if it won’t, it’s maybe even better because I don’t really do well with too much emotional closeness on an intimate level so it’s easier as it is. And as a result, I’ve managed to avoid having sex either. Which I guess is also quite rare in this time when you can find 19-year-old girls wailing over how they’re still virgins. πŸ˜€ I think virginity is a really cool thing, and it’s also part of me, so I’m not inclined to get rid of it without a very good reason and having real strong feelings and lots of trust for someone.

On a different note, I have no clue how normal or not normal it is for my age group, but I’ve never ever experienced any heart pain, and I consider myself lucky in that regard, because my Dad has hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, and Sofi experiences minor heartaches quite regularly when she’s stressed or overexerts herself. Heart problems is something that always sounds serious to most people so I’m glad I haven’t had to deal with it and fuel my anxiety.

What’s such a thing in your case? πŸ™‚

12 thoughts on “Question of the day.”

  1. Your answer is so interesting. I’ve felt in love multiple times in my life indeed and now have been married for ten years. However, if you’re open to it, look into aromantic as a romantic orientation. It’s part of the asexual spectrum, which in turn falls under the queer umbrella and I’m not sure if you’d find likeminded people in that respect, especially considering that many queers (including aces/aros) are very left-leaning politically and you’re not. However, just googling the idea might make you feel less of an outcast.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, I’ve looked into it some years ago because my Mum did when she has discovered that she is asexual. Obviously she’s had sex, but it has never been pleasurable for her and doesn’t really do anything for her either positively or negatively. She isn’t opposed to having it but it’s not like she wants it for her own sake or anything, she could perfectly live without it. My grandma seems to fit in there too although it’s just our outside observation and she certainly wouldn’t be open to the idea herself.
      I can’t say for sure whether I am too or not ’cause I have no practical experience in this sphere, but it feels very relatable for me as I’ve never had much of an interest in sex other than as an interesting phenomenon and from a sort of outsider perspective. Considering that my pituitary doesn’t work quite right since birth, it seems very possible.
      I guess I am not aromantic though, because while I’ve never fallen in love, I’ve had some fleeting infatuations when I was younger. Also there’s that thing I call faza, so very basically a strong, kind of obsessive fascination or interest with someone, and my fazas on males have definitely involved some kind of romantic or semi-romantic feelings too, which could hardly be called as much as love but still. I guess the fact that I haven’t fallen in love is more due to simply not peopling much and having trouble forming relationships rather than my not being capable of it as such.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. This is a hard one to answer. I’m going to have to say I have managed to avoid facing all those things you need to face to get over trauma and move on. I’m not being glib. I am learning I have to go through it to get over it, and I’m getting better. Dealing with the regrets of my past however…that I’ve managed to avoid.

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  3. Ohh, falling in love is a curse, let me tell ya! πŸ˜€ Ugh. I think you’re very sensible and have a good head on your shoulders!! If it’s meant to happen, you never know! In the meantime, you’re ahead of the game, I daresay!!

    I’ve managed to avoid… hmm… I’ve never struggled with eating disorders, migraines, or addictions to substances. I’ve also never been in a significant car wreck, although the superstitious side of me is afraid to type that!! πŸ˜€ Yikes!!

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