Question of the day (29th April).

What personality trait has been the most useful to you?

My answer:

I think I could say that my distance to myself and situations in my life, other people and the world in general. What I mean by it, is that I am able to usually laugh at things that are happening, at myself, at things people do, approach them with some sense of humour, usually either a bit dark or cynnical but not necessarily, even if things aren’t easy, and even though, because of my overactive inner self-critic called Maggie and the AVPD thing, when it comes to myself, I can also be quite sensitive to criticism at the same time. It may be a bit paradoxical and I guess it is, but I think it’s completely possible to have both some distance to yourself and be able to laugh at yourself and things you do and things people say to you, and at the same time be very critical of yourself, sensitive to criticism or even things like self-loathing, I know other people who are like that and don’t have the best self-esteem yet are able to have a distance, at least outwardly. I think for such people it’s actually even more important to keep some distance from themselves. It has helped me to keep possibly sane in lots of situations throughout my life, and it is also a very good coping skill and a protective mechanism in my opinion, and makes engaging with people slightly easier for both sides.

You? πŸ™‚

13 thoughts on “Question of the day (29th April).”

  1. The trait I’ve found most useful isn’t a nice nor desirable one, but it’s my anger tinged with dark humor. Until my adult years (30+) if you’d known me, you might have said I was ‘nice, funny, laid-back, kind’ and it was true. I still am those things too. But around my 30th for some reason, the anger began to bubble. I knew it was there all along, I was able to keep a lid on it though. As I got older, the anger really flared up and suddenly I found myself an angry person most of all things. A baseline of my personality is anger, it’s saved me because I could take things (and can) until I’m pushed that bit too far. If that happens – watch out! Anger has been useful because it’s stopped bullies from thinking they can ‘get’ me, people from feeding me bull muffins, other angry people and it’s helped me hold on through my worsening mental health problems. My mother was a very angry person, and perhaps I do that because of her example or maybe it’s part of the mental health illness that is in my family…but it’s been a useful tool. Trying to learn to control it and apply it when it’s needed and not continually is a work in progress.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Traits like that, that we generally consider negative, can be definitely useful too. Obviously we can’t only and always be nice and kind, especially when faced with things like bullying or trauma etc. It’s interesting though that you say anger is a baseline of your personality.

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  2. Yeah, that’s great that you’re so objective about yourself and your life!! Huge thumbs up for that!! Meg totally approves!!

    I guess with me I love my logical mind in combination with my eternal optimism. I always reason through things such that I’m seeing the best, and if the worst happens, it wouldn’t be a huge deal. That sort of outlook helps me out all the time!! Like, all the time!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s not really like I am so objective about myself in reality, but I think I can convey that impression when I’m doing relatively well, and also regardless of what I think about myself or things that are happening, I can see the absurd, grotesque, ironic, funny side of things and laugh at it and that often makes me feel better.
      Logical and optimistic is a great combination in life. My Mum is like that and I can see it is useful to her as well.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s great!! I think you’ve got the right idea about it!! Just keep applying it!! Anytime anything can seem funny, the battle’s half-won! And it can boost morale about yourself, because if you make a mistake but the situation turns out funny, then that’s not a loss!! Woo hoo!!

        Liked by 1 person

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