Question of the day (10th September).

Hi guys! 🙂

Here’s another family related question I have for you.

Do you stay in touch with your extended family? If so, how?

My answer:

Not all of them, but my grandparents, most aunts and uncles and some cousins. Our family on both my parents’ sides likes to get together so we see each other at different occasions, like birthdays, name days or such. My social anxiety and other things often make it difficult for me to be around a lot of people for a long time, it’s overwhelming, and, I have to say it, it’s frequently also boring because I don’t really have the close connection between me and my close family, so there’s not much common ground between me and most of them, and sitting at the table for hours and listening to/trying to engage in conversations I don’t really feel a part of or don’t have any real interest in certainly is boring. Eating around many people makes me feel anxious too, and anxiety makes me not hungry at all so it’s stressful if you don’t want to offend someone and eat at least something. And talking to more than like 3 people at once is hard for me, let alone when there are groups of people scattered around the room and each of them talking about their own thing, so I usually feel way more alienated and lonely in such situations than I do when being on my own, and I hate hate hate feeling lonely while being around others, and usually I end up just listening to people and forcing myself to smile all the time. And that’s largely why I often avoid those family gatherings if it’s not necessary for me to be there and if I can avoid them. Also most of us live quite close to each other so we sometimes bump into each other on the street or on similar occasions.

How about you? 🙂

6 thoughts on “Question of the day (10th September).”

  1. I don’t have a lot of extended family. I never did have much communication with my aunts and uncles and cousins. I had more regular contact with the older generation, but the only one still living of that generation is my grandma. She’s very hard of hearing so talking on the phone doesn’t work, but I go to visit her every few months.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Well, ever since I accused my male cousin’s wife of abusing their baby with Munchausen’s by proxy (i.e., making the baby ill because the wife feeds on medical sympathy), what do you know? I’m on the outs with my entire extended maternal family. It’s largely mutual, though, and I don’t think they’re necessarily still mad at me. It’s worse than that–they’re convinced I’m insane. Poor Meg, her brain doesn’t work right, and all that. But even growing up with that extended family, my grandparents are all dead now, and I feel my maternal grandmother and step-grandfather with me in spirit, and they visit my dreams often. I sense they both feel some guilt over a lot of stuff and that they know I’m always glad to see them, because I don’t think they visit anyone else’s dreams necessarily, but I guess it’s possible. (But trust me on this–if I were to tell any of my extended maternal family about the dreams, they’d scoff and politely roll their eyes as soon as I’m not looking. For that reason alone, I can’t imagine that my grandparents are too busy visiting their dreams.)

    That’s the dynamic with my aunts, uncles and cousins on the maternal side: they refuse to take me seriously. It’s always been that way. They may as well pat me on the head and tell me I’m cute.

    So I’m kind of glad to be rid of them.

    Fortunately, I’ve gotten quite close to a paternal aunt whom I never knew growing up because she lives across the country, too far to have ever visited. We connected on social media and email, and now I like her a good bit and am glad to have her around. Now, that aunt has loads of kids (my cousins) and grandkids, and then some great-grandkids, possibly. But I don’t know any of them due to the distance factor. I can identify them, but that’s it. I’m okay with that. I’ve got nothing against them, but we never forged relationships.

    I also adore my stepsister. Our parents married when we were adults, so she doesn’t technically feel like a sister, but she’s a wonderful person.

    Fun question!

    Liked by 2 people

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