Question of the day.

Do you like your parents’ inspiration for choosing your name, or do you think they should have gone a different way?

My answer:

I definitely don’t like it. My Mum made a promise to herself as a young girl that she will call her daughter after her best friend (whose name she really liked at the time). At the same time it was the name of my Mum’s youngest sister. So she did, even though that friendship soon ended and Mum doesn’t even like that name as much anymore. I really love my middle, even though it is so overwhelmingly popular, but I don’t like that they just did it as everyone else in our region and my middle name is my Mum’s first name – Anna. – It is also Zofijka’s middle name, I think it would have been more cool if we had different middles. My Dad wanted Anna to be my first name. I really love Anna, but it is really so very typical and popular in Poland, plus it is as I said my Mum’s name, so I don’t like the idea. And I don’t like the nickname Ania, which Poles use ALL the time, even though Anna is already short and sweet. Ania is so bland and boring. I’d rather be just Anna with no nicks, had it been my name, but that wouldn’t work out with people. So, as popular as it is, I’m glad my first name is not Anna.

How about you? ๐Ÿ™‚

Felix Sandman – “Lovisa”.

Felix Sandman is a popular singer in Sweden right now, though I haven’t heard him or about him anywhere outside of Swedish media or Swedish playlists on Spotify. I quite like this song from him, not because it’s anything exceptional, but I think it has a nice melody, and also I really love the Swedish name Lovisa. I think it’s an easily likeable song, though that Lovisa from it seems not to be a particularly nice person.

Question of the day (17th August).

Have you come across many people who share your name?

My answer:

No. I would kind of like to meet more Emilias, I just think it could be fun to meet more of my namesakes, but on the other hand I am glad that I don’t know many of them, it’s cool this way. Although Emilia is pretty big for babies right now so I’ll probably meet more of them in future, I see little Emilias being born on our baby naming Polish community pretty much every day. I know one who’s about 2 years my senior I guess, she was in my school. The other is my Dad’s colleague’s wife’s sister. My parents no longer keep in touch with their family and I only knew her very superficially, but my Mum knew her well enough that she got bad associations with the name, and that was the main reason why it was so weird for her when I’ve become an Emilia. I also know one Emilia who is now I suppose in her mid 30’s. But neither of them I know well.

How about you? If you do know someone with the same name as you, do you like them? Do you like having/not having many namesakes? ๐Ÿ™‚

Question of the day (16th August).

So, another name related question of the day is:

Have you ever told people to call you something different from your birth name? Did it stick?

My answer:

Well yeah, as I wrote in the last question of the day post and in many other posts, I’ve changed my name legally, but even before I did that, I wanted to be called Emilia for many years. I just felt it fit me. There are tons of names I like more than Emilia, but I’ve just always thought Emilia fits me very well. So, I guess it started when I was about 12, and I asked my family to call me Emilia. Some did, some didn’t, but they were all like “You must be really crazy!” and it didn’t stuck. Even though my Mum agreed with me theoretically that Emilia fits me better and that my birth name didn’t really and that she gave it to me not giving it much thought. So I didn’t push it, but I knew that if I am still going to love Emilia for myself when I am adult, I will change it and it will be the only way to make it stick. Although I’ve been going by Emilia with my online friends even before I changed the name.

After I changed it, it did stick, but there are still people who don’t get it and there are still people who will never call me Emilia, just because. It’s pretty frustrating, in that I don’t get why it’s such a problem for them to do so. On the other hand when I talk to people to whom I haven’t talked in years and it’s just a single occurence that we met, I usually don’t let them know I’ve changed the name as I don’t want to make things more chaotic. But still, Emilia stuck pretty well, and I hear my birth name less and less now, but it suck that it takes so much effort to manage such an apparently simple thing and get people to call you what you want.

When I was younger, I called myself Biล›biล›, or some other similar things, well that’s making it a bit simplified but in any case I used to talk about myself in specific circumstances as about Biล›biล›, in third person, I sometimes still do especially when I am very excited about something or feel a bit odd… like a Biล›biล›, oh well I don’t know how to describe it. And me and Zofijka have made a weird word based on it which is Bibiel, and Zofijka often calls me Bibiel. I wouldn’t like everyone to call me Bibiel, but it’s cool when she does, or other peeps I’m close to. I tried to spell it Bibielle or something that would look more feminine because Bibiel kind of doesn’t make the best impression in writing in my opinion, but that never stuck, so it’s just Bibiel.

You? ๐Ÿ™‚

Song of the day (16th August) – Yr Angen – “Nawr Mae Drosto” (Now It’s Over).

I haven’t posted any songs from this Welsh indie rock band I love, even though I still love them very much. So here’s another song from them, I guess this is the one that has been their most famous song in Wales – “Nawr Mae Drosto”.

Question of the day (15th August).

Hey guys! ๐Ÿ™‚

I’m catching up on posts finally, so let’s catch up on some fun questions, as well. As you probably already know if you’re here, I’m hugely into names, so let’s focus on our names for a while. ๐Ÿ™‚ My question for you is:

When another person says your name out loud, does it ever sound weird, to you?

My answer:

Generally not, but my previous name change and name dilemmas that I’d had complicate things slightly. My name is nothing unusual in Poland, so there are no issues like that people wouldn’t know how to pronounce it, especially that Polish is a phonetic language, and also we don’t have such a diversity of accents as there is in English so people sound pretty universal. However as you may know I’ve changed my name legally some years ago, and it took people some time to get used to it. And even though I felt like my name was my name much earlier than I changed it legally, and I was sometimes already going by it by then, I had to get used to using it all the time as well. I know for some people it was sort of weird at the beginning to call me Emilia, and, perhaps as a result, it sounded a bit weird to me in their mouth. Even my Mum, who really advised me to change it and who sometimes called me Emilia even before the official change. Sometimes people still get confused, my Dad still isn’t fuly over my name change, because he just doesn’t like changes that he doesn’t understand, and in his mouth Emilia always sounds a tiny bit sarcastic, which I don’t care about too much now. People used to mispronounce my name a lot after I changed it, they often called me Emila, which I hated, and still fiercely do! Not that Emila and Emilia are that very different, Emila can actually work as a diminutive of Emilia, though it is also a separate modern feminine form of Emil in its own right, but to me Emila and Emilia sound wildly different! I definitely don’t feel like an Emila, and there are so many better nicknames out there. People in Poland have a real need to nickname almost every possible name, so, especially at the beginning of my adventures with the name Emilia, they would just assume I must go by Emila in daily life, or would misread Emilia for Emila, or simply mispronounce. While I was using my birth name, I’d had already enough of people assuming which nicknames I like, and even people in my distant family, not to mention strangers, would automatically call me a nickname that made me feel like gritting my teeth every time I heard it. So obviously I couldn’t let the same situation happen with my new name, especially that I was already an adult and could decide myself on what I want and don’t want to be called. So I just conveniently used that argument that Emila is a name in its own right, and I am an Emilia. And everyone understood without a problem. I don’t have anything against nicknames, in fact I go by some nickname almost all the time in my everyday life, but it’s either Emi, Mila, Milka, or Emilka.

When I was using my birth name, in my perception, it always sounded weird, not because it was weird, but because it felt weird on me, and it still does sound weird when someone uses it occasionally. But I think I’ve already written on this topic and how it always made me feel ragin’ just because some innocent being was talking to me. ๐Ÿ˜€

So, what are your experiences? ๐Ÿ™‚

Song of the day (14th August) – Loreena MCKennitt – “The Lady Of Shalott”.

This song from Loreena MCKennit, as you can probably guess, tells the story of Elaine of Astolat, from the Arthurian legend. Well, moreover, it’s the musical adaptation of the whole poem “The Lady Of Shalott” by Alfred Tennyson. That’s how I’ve first heard this poem – sung by Loreena MCKennitt. – And thanks to this song, I’ve become interested in Arthurian legends, as part of my fascination with everything Celtic. Until then, I didn’t really know much about Arthurian legends. But now I find them very interesting. And this one is my favourite. So here is this long song. I really love the way she adapted this poem and made a lovely piece of music out of it.

Song of the day (13th August) – Loreena MCKennitt – “Down By The Sally Gardens”.

Here is another song by Loreena MCKennitt that I love and want to share with you. Originally, it was a peoem written by William Butler Yeats – Irish 20th century poet and Nobel Prize winner (it was “Down By The Salley Gardens” in the original I believe). – Apparently, Yeats based some of it on a folk ballad “The Rambling Boys Of Pleasure”. It’s been recorded as a song by many artists though, and especially those making Celtic music. I think Loreena’s version is one of the best I know. b

Song of the day (12th August) – Loreena MCKennitt – “Annachie Gordon”.

Hi hi hi lovely people! ๐Ÿ™‚

It feels like I haven’t written anything in quite a while again, so let’s first catch up on some music, as I haven’t posted any music for a particularly long time.

I’d like to show you a few songs of one of my very first favourite Celtic music singers – Loreena MCKennitt. – Alongside Enya, Aine Minogue and a few others, she was keeping me sane during a time that was particularly difficult emotionally in my life, and she was one of the first artists associated with Celtic but also generally folk music that I’ve started to listen to a lot, and one of the first harpists whose music I’ve heard. I really like her dramatic soprano, my friend Jacek from Helsinki loved her and he used to say her voice is chil inducing, it indeed is very very expressive. I love the wide range of inspirations Loreena uses in her music, she’s not only into Celtic music but also oriental music, she has adapted various poems or pieces of literary work into pieces of music or has written her own music inspired by literature, legends, myths, historical/legendary figures etc. It’s like her each album has a bit of a theme that is going on throughout the album. I like how self-sufficient she is. Apart from being a singer, songwriter, composer and harpist, she has also her own record label – Quinlan Road – and also plays a few other instruments other than harp, she’s her own manager and seems to like running the show just on her own. And I like her harp play so very much. She’s one of the better Celtic harpists out there in my opinion.

Loreena MCKennitt is from Canada, she has Irish and Scottish roots (and her father’s name was JACK! that explains everything, doesn’t it? ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) and she currently lives in Ontario.

The song I want to show you in this post is a ballad called “Annachie Gordon”. If I remember well, this is one of the balads in the collection of Child’s Ballads, and it is English. I like many contemporary versions of this piece but Loreena’s is the best, because of her vocals and because of the magnificent harp! It was also the first version of this song I’ve heard, and I immediately fell in love with it. The plot of the ballad is quite, um, cliche, and now as I’m older than when I discovered “Annachie Gordon” it’s hard for me to listen to it without my sarcastic brain commenting and criticising the storyline (I basically think looking at it from these days perspective, the heroine, Jeannie, makes an impression of someone quite manipulative, I understand her pain when she was faced with having to live being married to a man she didn’t love instead of her beloved Annachie, but the scene where she falls on her knees before her father and dies looks, well, yeah, manipulative, you start to wonder if she’s going to suddenly rise up as soon as everyone leaves her alone and run away with Annachie as far from lord Sulton and her family as possible. ๐Ÿ˜€ I know, I know, I’m crazy and overanalysing). I also think life would be so easy if we really could just switch off and die when life throws sh*t at us as in the case of Jeannie and Annachie. But well, it is a ballad. And still, it is a beautiful one. I remember being absolutely fascinated by it, and for some reason because of it I really loved the name Annachie, which, you must admit, is a very unusual name, I’ve never heard in any other context or on anyone other than Annachie Gordon. I’ve even named a character in one of my short stories Annachie after him. Though now my tastes have changed and I think it lacks masculinity and looks like a fancy elaboration of Anna in the style of Annalee or Annamae, but of the more kreativ kind. ๐Ÿ˜€ Well, I guess it was apparently recreated from some old feminine name actually. Anyway, here’s the song. Hope you’ll enjoy it too. ๐Ÿ™‚

Female names of literary origin, A-F

Do you guys like literary names?
I love so many of these! Most of them actually. In fact, I think if I lived in an English-speaking country I could consider some of them as names for my potential children.
I particularly love Amaryllis, Araminta, Ariel, Celia (I didn’t even know it is a literary name, I knew it was Shakespearean but not that Shakespeare used it first), Belphoebe, Clarinda, Clarissa (I could actually use Clarissa in Poland on a real life child very happily), Cordelia, Dulcinea, Ethel, Evangeline (again, had no idea it was literary!) and Fiona. Which literary names out of these do you like? ๐Ÿ™‚

Onomastics Outside the Box

Cosette on first-edition 1862 Les Misรฉrables cover, by ร‰mile Bayard

While all names necessarily have to be invented at some point, names created for literary characters are usually more recent creations than other names. Their staying power and popularity seems to hinge on how well they blend into the language of origin; i.e., do theyย sound like actual names, or do they only work in a fictional world?

This post only covers namesย invented for fictional characters, not names which already existed but only became popular after their use in literature.

Albena is the heroine of Bulgarian writer Yordan Yovkovโ€™s 1930 play of the same name. It may be based on the word alben, a type of peony.

Amaryllis is a character in Virgilโ€™s epic poemย Eclogues. The name comes from the Greek wordย amarysso (to sparkle). The amaryllis flower is named from Virgilโ€™s Amaryllis.

Aminta is aโ€ฆ

View original post 723 more words

20 things that make me happy.

I got an idea for this post from Carol Anne of Therapy Bits. Here’s a list of 20 things that make me happy, in no specific order.

1. Yeeeah you guessed it… Misha! ๐Ÿ˜€ What would I do without Misha? I can’t even imagine and I don’t want to. I can’t imagine my life without Misha now. He can sometimes change so much just being around. And always makes me think that, blimey, God must be a real, real genius, to be able to create something so perfectly beautiful!

2. My music crushes! As I like to say, each and every one of them is like an antidote for all the bad stuff for me. They enrich me and my life and I can learn so much from them, deach of them brings different things into my life with themselves. They give me something to dream about and a different world to escape to when I need it. Also music in general as it’s really so beneficial for my brain in so many respects.

3. Books. They make me happy largely in the same way as music. Also literary crushes. Well that’s not quite as intense a thing, not for me, not as important and long lasting, but it came to my mind because I am just having a literary crush at the moment and it’s oh such a cool feeling, and a weird one, because the guy is very weird. I could go on and on about it right now but I’ll probably be over it once I finish my current read and it’s not relevant for you, so I won’t, people say I’m overwhelming with my crushes, but I’ll only say that I am reading a Norwegian saga at the moment (no, not in Norwegian, my Mum thinks I’m that educated, but it’s a Polish translation). It’s by May Grethe Lerum, the original title is “Livets Doetre” and it consists of 35 books (I know, sounds scary and/or ridiculous) and it’s happening in 17th-18th century. I’ve heard about it ages ago from my friend Jacek from Helsinki, he was reading it and was like “You have to read it, you’ll love it!”, but I was quite sceptical because of the amount of books, it kinda didn’t sound good to me, and usually Jacek’s taste and mine weren’t very similar at all in terms of books, apart from myths and legends and the vikings and language stuff. He sent me all of it and it was sitting somewhere on my drive with no interest from me, then I wanted to even just see what it’s about recently, but it turned out it’s this weird kind of a PDF file that is not accessible or something, but I got the books from our library for the blind and seems like now it’s a good time for me to read it. I’ve read loads of much better books but this lady is pretty good at describing people’s characters which I always appreciate, and now there is that guy I’m having a crush or something on, and now I want to live in 1740’s Norway.

4. Relaxing baths with bath balls! I had one today. Was so lovely. And Misha was with me.

5. Sleep. When I get some good sleep, anyway, or some fantastic and vivid happy dream. Oh, by the way, does someone of my regular readers who’s been sticking along for a while perhaps still remember Sasha? The cat we had for a while last October and then had to find a new home for him? I recently dreamt of him, and that I visited him in his current house. It was so bittersweet. I know I haven’t told you, not on the blog anyway, but the funny thing is that Sasha is now the cat of one of the children’s books’ writers I read as a kid. ๐Ÿ˜€ Seriously! It turns out she lives quite close, and she and her family were the people who took Sasha from us. I learnt who she was much later on, when my Mum got one of her books and a letter from her in the mail and I heard what her name was! It was a shock! But that means he probably has a good and happy life now with her, if you can conclude anything about an author from their books she sounds like a nice and decent person.

6. Kefir, kefir, I love kefir!

7. Blogging and writing in my diary. I am so happy and grateful that I have my blog, and so happy that I have my readers! I also love that I have my private diary as well where I can write what I can’t anywhere else, and where I can take a look at different things that have happened in my life to get a perspective, which sometimes may be a comforting thing to do if I get too irrational about what’s currently happening in my life.

8. Zofijka. And that we always have so much fun together and laugh a lot. We don’t always get along well and not about everything, but she is often the one who lifts up my mood the most effectively, just her laughter is infectious.

9. Jocky. I don’t hang out that much with him and he can be annoying, but I like him and he is always so sweet with me, everyone says he seems to like me the most in a way because he’s always so clingy when I am with him that he’s apparently not like that with anyone else. I am happy he loves me so much, although I have no flamin idea why is that.

10. All my online friends. I’ve mentioned my readers but I am also always very happy with all my other online friends, especially my pen pals. It goes a bit in waves when you regularly engage in pen palling, since you don’t stay regular long term penfriends with everyone you try it with, it’s actually a difficult business, but currently I have a lot of luck with penfriends and I have an abundance of them. Each of them adds something different to my life, and I hope I am able to add something to theirs as well. We’ve recently decided with one of my pen pals that we’re going to exchange some recipes, and yesterday she sent me a recipe for Scottish shortbread! Well I love Scottish stuff so I am excited to try it out with Mum as soon as possible, as I’ve never eaten shortbread.

11. Horse riding. I haven’t done it for almost a year, as my instructor has had a hiatus mostly due to health issues, but I love it, and I am likely going to go back to it in September.

12. Having long walks with Mum. As I say, they clear up your brain so well. I’ve been having a lot of overthinking stuff going on and worse generalised anxiety lately and walks have helped me a lot. A change of scenery is good sometimes too, to change your thought patterns, haha.

13. Toffifee! Who doesn’t like Toffifee? It is not a rhetorical question. I seriously wonder if there is something who hates Toffifee!.

14. Milka icecream. There are such icecream in our local shop, they’re cones, and they’re very yummy. And they’re called Milka so they’re probably from that Milka brand. So this is kinda like me, some people do call me Milka at times as it’s one of our Polish diminutives of Emilia. There are better icecream out there but Milka is the best of those you can get right here without having to go too far for something more sophisticated.

15. Learning Welsh. There are ups and downs. And there are periods of stagnation even. But then it makes me even happier when finally things go smoothly again.

16. Listening to any of my favourite languages. It’s brainmelting! A bit like an antidote in its own right as well.

17. Talking to my Mum, going out with her and doing stuff together. Finally we can catch up on all that to our hearts’ content.

18. Helping people in any way I can. Doesn’t it make us all a bit happier?

19. Bein by the sea. Especially in the sea. Even though I can’t swim too well. It always is so soothing and nourishing for my imagination. I made up some imaginary people/human-like beings who live under the sea when I was a kid and I still love to imagine that I am with them when I am by the sea.

19. Yummy sweets, as well as spicy food.

20. Doing some guided imageries when I am stressed.

What things make you happy? ๐Ÿ™‚

So You Know.

Hi guys! ๐Ÿ™‚

Candace over at Revenge Of Eve

does a series on her blog called So You Know, in which she asks us some personal questions. I’m going to answer her questions for this week. ๐Ÿ™‚

 

  1. Do you feel confident in expressing how you feel about particular things? Example: sharing your opinion or protecting your boundaries – Opinions? Yes, I usually have no problem expressing my opinion, unless there is really some sort of a tricky situation, either tricky socially for me, or in that the topic is tricky or my opinion on it is very unconventional or controversial. I don’t want to hurt people so I might be more cautious and not as direct as I would be in other circumstances, but if they ask for my opinion I will share it honestly. I guess it works, because I’ve had quite a few people who badly wanted to discuss politics and religion or such with me and some of them were like “Well it sucks you don’t agree with me but I appreciate your sensitivity/tolerance” or something like that. ๐Ÿ˜€ So yeah, when things get stressful, I try to be possibly diplomatic, unless they totally piss me off, and I don’t come out first with my opinions or don’t initiate a conversation about them if I feel that theirs are largely different and the conversation would probably not be very constructive. I don’t have any trouble with sharing my likes or dislikes or tastes even those very quirky ones, though I did for a long long time, I am very open about it, even if people look at me as if I’m crazy haha. Unless I’m around really extremely narrow-minded folks. . As for boundaries – well, that’s another thing. I do struggle with it. To a varying degree, depending with whom, and probably also depending on some other things, and things have improved over the last couple of years, but it is a struggle. I struggle with protecting my boundaries, as well as sort of defining them, I often feel confused about it and like I can’t evaluate fairly where they should be, so that I wouldn’t allow them for too much or get too paranoid or distant and push them away. It’s a bit complicated. I guess I could blame the AVPD thing for a lot of my boundaries problems as well.
  2. Do you have someone who holds all of your lifeโ€™s secrets or do you keep everything to yourself? – A bit hard to say. I don’t have such a person who would hold literally all my secrets, I have quite a bunch of things that I would never tell anyone, or not all of it, but I think my Mum knows a lot of stuff about me that other people don’t. I’m also very open and honest on my blog and write about some things that I wouldn’t tell, or don’t normally talk about with people I know in real life. At the same time though, I still keep a lot to myself.
  3. What is the one quality you look for in a friend? – Hm… I guess the one I consciously look for is usually having some common ground – usually interests, but also experiences – I think it can make people feel closer to each other in some way. And I do have it with a lot of my online friends, but not all of them, and those who don’t have much in common with me in terms of interests or such are still my good friends. All of my friends though are very empathetic people, so I guess ultimately it could be empathy.
  4. What is the one quality you possess that you are most fond of in others? – Hm, how do I put it… An interesting brain… ๐Ÿ˜€ You know what I mean, don’t you?… Well I guess it doesn’t have to be obvious and sounds pretty odd, so if you don’t, what I mean is, I like intelligent, imaginative people, who have rich inner lives, who might be a bit quirky or at least able to think outside the box and be themselves… There’s way more that I could say about a person that I would classify as having an interesting brain, but that’s just the basics. It’s actually a group of qualities, but I see it kinda collectively.
    1. List five words you would use to describe yourself. Only five words. – Melancholic, individualistic, solitary, humourous, anxious (M. I. S. H. A. just needed some inspiration ๐Ÿ˜‰ ).

How could I know?!

Hhrrru? ๐Ÿ˜ป

Misha here. Does anyone else out there like salt?… Well, as you’ve probably gathered, I do. But now I have bittersweet associations with salt. I know lots of foods are salted, but today I got to taste salt on its own. And the peeps are having a go at me because of that. I feel very hurt today because of that.

I tried to be the best Mish I could possibly be in the morning, and purr very loudly, and I was in a very good mood. Then, my peeps disappeared somewhere for hours and I was left on my own. I was very bored, and not particularly sleepy, and just wanted to do something. I could tell there was something different in the kitchen. It was on the kitchen table. I came closer to see what was different. And it was a little bowl. A bit like the ones I eat from. But the thing that was in it didn’t smell very yummy and looked kinda weird. I climbed on the table (good that my human Daddy wasn’t around) I was just so very intrigued what it is) and I dipped my paw in it. They were some weird, tiny, white grains, that felt very similar to the gravel in my loo? “Did they move my loo to the kitchen? Why? Why didn’t they tell me earlier?”, I was wondering, very surprised and a bit worried. But then I brightened up a lot. It would be actually much better to have the loo in the kitchen. I had my loo in the peeps’ bathroom and sometimes they still forget that I am here and too have physical needs from time to time and can’t open the doors because they didn’t feel like it was necessary to teach me, and they sometimes just close the door to the loo after they go out, egoists! And our kitchen is open plan, so no one can close it from me. This new loo looked just a little bit weird. They didn’t let me to jump on the tables and now they even let me poop and pee there, can you imagine this?! Yeah, it was hard to comprehend for me too… And it didn’t quite allow for much privacy, it was just a bowl, and quite a small one. Well, if they want so… It actually felt like a bit of an adventure to me, and I decided to test how it would work for me before they come home, felt like a good opportunity. I started to kneat the gravel with my paws, and the bowl turned out way too small for my needs. Well, small I might be, but I’m not that small – I thought. – The gravel started to spill out on to the table. Next time they’ll know I need something bigger.It was really hard to find a suitable place to pee in at such a small space, so I was growing a little bit impatient. I was also very intrigued about the whole thing. I liked the texture under my paws, and the nice sounds it was making. I liked this new gravel very much! Finally, feeling more and more in need of relieving myself, I pressed on the bowl with one of my paws more strongly, and suddenly it danced around on the table and everything, just everything spilled out on the table. Oh well, at least that’ll learn my peeps something about my size, I can’t do my thing in a kitten’s loo. I was a bit worried because, honestly, that didn’t really look like something my peeps would approve of, but now I needed to pee really badly. Now with all of the gravel being out, I could do it easily. Uh oh! What a mess! Mummy’s certainly not going to like it. I covered up my wee neatly, the least I could do, and jumped off quickly and went to the living room to clean myself in peace and quiet. As I went through the house, I could feel that the gravel was still on my paws and making crunching noises, and it was all over the floor. I laid on my personal pouf. I started off my cleaning routine, and when I was licking my paws, I noticed that they taste really nicely. I licked that yummy taste off. And then after I cleaned myself thoroughly I quietly fell asleep.

I could hear the peeps coming back so I already went in to the hall to welcome them and calm them down as effectively as possible before they could potentially get mad at me – something was telling me I didn’t do the right thing with that loo thing. – “Hey Misha!” – Mum called –
“Oh, you’re waiting for us, you’re so sweet!”. She came into the house and then to the kitchen, and her tone of voice changed immediately and she wasn’t nice at all anymore. She cried: “Oh no! What have you done, you idiot?!”. Ehh, I knew something was wrong, but what? So Zofijka and Mila came in to see what was going on and they were both gasping in horror and screaming.

From their chaotic talk, I learned that that “gravel” was salt! And that Mum put it on the table, but she said she’ll never do this again, because Misha is so stupid. But, I ask you, how could I know it was salt?! I don’t have much to do with salt in my life, I never cared how salt looks like. I just wanted to pee and there was such a nice place to do that, so I did! I feel so very hurt. They all say I am stupid and messy. I know well that neither of those things is true, because I am very very clever, and I am not messy at all, even they always say it –
“Misha is so clean! He never damages anything, even if he is curious! He’s so gentle and careful with everything!”. – Because I am! And now, just one incident happened, and I am suddenly stupid and messy Misha and the worst Misha in the world. They are the most malicious and self-centered creatures in the world! All humans are so grossly self-centered, they can only and always see things their way. They won’t even try to see it how I see it, because Misha is just stupid and messy. And Zofijka calls me names. She calls me an idiot, and “the salt king”, and constantly makes allusions about salt when I am around, or tells me that I should work in a salt mine and such. It’s so damn annoying. You can’t make even one mistake that they wouldn’t remind you about all the time.

Well, I think I’ll just go to sleep and hope that today will be somewhat better.

How was your day today, pets and peeps? What do you do to comfort yourselves when someone hurts you?

Mishpurrs. ๐Ÿ’œ ๐Ÿ’š ๐Ÿ’™

Sad Misha

Mystery Blogger Award.

Hi people! ๐Ÿ™‚

I was nominated by the fantastic Astrid of

A Multitude Of Musings

for the Mystery Blogger Award! Thank you so very much, Astrid! ๐Ÿ˜ Also thanks to

Okoto Enigma

for creating this award. Unfortunately I’m not going to put the award logo with this post as I have completely no idea how to do it.

ย ย  Rules:

 

  1. Put the award logo/image on your blog.
  2. List the rules.
  3. Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  4. Mention the creator of the award and provide a link as well.
  5. Answer the 5 questions you were asked.
  6. Tell your readers 3 things about yourself.
  7. You have to nominate 10-20 people.
  8. Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog.
  9. Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice; with one weird or funny question (specify).
  10. Share a link to your best post(s).

My answers to Astrid’s questions:

  1. What is your favorite color? – I can’t tell just one. Well I guess I love black the most, but I also love white, blue, green, grey, and some shades of silver, pretty equally.
  2. What is the biggest challenge you face right now? – I’ve been dealing with a lot of anxiety and rumination that I feel has worsened quite a bit over the last few months, especially the rumination part, and some changes in different areas of my life, not big, as in very much life-changing, but still significant, and with my fear of changes.
  3. Do you have any pets? – I have a 3.6-year-old Russian blue cat called Misha, who is the most mine. We also have a mixed-breed 1-year-old dog called Jocky who is particularly Zofijka’s, and we have some fish as well, which are mostly my Dad’s.
  4. (Weird/Funny) Would you want to be the opposite gender for a while if you could? – Meh, not really… Without any offense to the guys (it’s not my intend at all) I don’t think it could be particularly interesting or fun (for me) to be a guy.I think I’m happy being a woman, even though it has its fair share of downsides. That’s why I find it quite hard to personally relate to the issues transgender people face, and I feel it must be horribly daunting not to feel like you are the right gender. Haha, actually, thinking about this question reminded me about the time when I was a little girl, perhaps 6 or 7, and wanted to be a boy just because I wanted to be like my Dad and be named Jacek. ๐Ÿ˜€ I still love the name Jacek and will probably always will, but I wouldn’t like to be a Jacek myself. That just shows that while I’ve never seriously struggled with my gender identity, I had had real name issue since very early on, until I’ve become an Emilia to the world, and I’m glad that now it’s over. One true advantage of being an adult – you can legally change your name. ๐Ÿ˜€ Well, OK, perhaps I could be the opposite gender just for a little while, just to see what it’s like, sort of get a broader outlook on the world, understand men a little bit better, just like a kind of experience to learn something from it, that could be something interesting. But nothing that I’d genuinely want very much.
  5. What was your major in college? – I’m always sort of confused about the education system in the English-speaking countries. If we’re talking college as in the UK, like sixth form, after secondary school, I was doing a college for adults, on weekends. I was two years behind my peers, first year because that was just some sort of practice at the school for the blind where I was going to that people were starting a year later and were having a sort of preparation year the previous year, and the second time because of some sort of mishmash with my transition from the integration school back to the school for the blind, long and complicated and boring and irrelevant story. So by the time I was about to start college, I was already an adult and made a decision that it will be easier for me in an adult college. And there weren’t really any subjects we were supposed to choose to study more in depth, as majors, as it works in standard schools like that in Poland. We were all having the same classes from general subjects. However, in my last year, I sort of accidentally learnt that our majors formally were geography and history. But that was just a formality, apparently, and didn’t mean anything in practice. As for college as in America, so like almost a university, I didn’t go to college in that sense. After I did my finals at that school – which as my regular and loyal readers know was a painful process because of many things, but primarily emotionally, it turned out, quite as I expected, that I didn’t pass the math exam. Here, if you don’t pass one subject, in practical terms you don’t pass anything (even if you have 100% from two other exams as I did, haha). And, for reasons that I’ve previously written about on here, I decided not to rewrite that exam, perhaps just for now, perhaps not at all, we shall see.

3 things about me:

1. When I was a child, I wrote a book, consisting of quite a few smaller books, about creatures I made up that were called Parpills. They were black and red and fluffy, and the main character of my book, the Parpill called Parpillo, had loads of adventures. I still have my Parpill books, and the illustrations that one of my teachers made for me, and they’re so fun. I still love reading them sometimes, and so does Zofijka, because it’s all written both in Braille and in normal print, though she always laughs and says they’re freaky! ๐Ÿ˜ญ I wonder why… ๐Ÿ˜‰

2. Apart from my languages, that I am talking all the time on my blog, I was learning German and Italian at some point as well. German was at school, and I do like it, just not love it as my languages, andI was decent at it but nothing more, and then I courageously tried to do something with it on my own too because I sort of felt I should, but lacked motivation terribly. I have to many languages for now, maybe later, but I’ll have to live a really long life to learn all my languages and then have time and space for some others. Italian was my generous attempt to help out Mum who wanted to learn this language, but she doesn’t speak English so doesn’t have that many resources as she would have learning through the medium of English, and she said she needed some help. It was one big shit and a failure for both of us! But oh well, I am just not a fan of Italian, too many people love it. I also speak some Kashubian and i am half Kashubian, but it’s not much and, perhaps it’s hypocritical of me, but I don’t feel much of a connection with this language, I don’t even truly like it, I definitely love Polish way more, even though Kashubian is an extincting language and I’m all for saving extincting languages.

I am an auditory-tactile and auditory-taste synaesthete, which I love, and have some other sensory quirks, and some that are a bit resembling of some kind of synaesthesia as well, but aren’t that exactly. I love my brain for that.

I nominate:

This time, anyone who feels like participating and would like to feel awarded. Feel free to join in, and let me know if you do. ๐Ÿ™‚

ย ย  My questions for you:

1. If you could choose any material thing in the world to have, but only one, what would you like to get?

2. What trait do you most dislike about yourself and do you think other people dislike it to, or is it just your opinion?

3. When was the last time you laughed really hard?

4. What typ(es) of situations are the most distressing for you?

5. Weird/funny, inspired by Astrid’s question and my Jacek quirk, if you were born the opposite gender and were given a chance to pick a name for yourself, how would you name yourself?

ย ย  The best post:

No idea if it’s really my “best post”, or if it’s objectively very good, guess it’s average, but I think, as for my debut short story in English, it was pretty good. But you’d have to judge, if you haven’t read it yet.

The Power Of Food And Music