Question of the day.

Here’s another childhood/family related question I have for you.

Were you closer to one of your parents than another? Has it changed in your adulthood?

My answer:

It was differently at different times. I had a long time as a kid when I was closer to my Dad. He was, and still is, though not to such a degree as in the past, getting along with me the best of all of his children, which, as I later learned, was largely due to the fact that I was blind. I hated it so now I’m no more as close to him personally because I find it a weird reason to favour one of your children more than the rest because she’s blind and not at home most of the time. πŸ˜€ But before I found out that little piece of info, and especially when I was a little child, we used to spend a lot of time together, he even played with me, went to the beach just with me, we had quite a lot of things to talk about and were almost on the same wavelength. My Mum was more neurotic at that time, and while I definitely loved her, I wasn’t as much into being around her as she was easily irritated and not as fun to talk to. Then things somehow changed, and that thing I learned did influence it too, and our relationship with Dad became somewhat distant and still is a bit. But I think even without that thing about my blindness, it’s really hard to interact with my Dad, he is a good person, but has a really difficult character, gets incredibly suspicious easily and is very hypersensitive and now it’s him who is way more irritable than Mum, you just have to tiptoe around him, never criticise and always do what he wants if you want things to stay calm, so sometimes it’s better to not interact at all for a while. My relationship with my Mum has deepened a lot since my adolescence but especially in the last 5 years since I got out of the boarding school and we’ve both opened up a lot to each other and, well, are just spending more time with each other now when it is possible. We are in a lot of ways like friends, or in any case best listeners for each other haha, even if we don’t really understand each other in all things. And we always have stuff to talk about. I don’t know if something with me has been going on or if my Dad’s bad traits and annoying habits have worsened over the last year or so but recently our relationship has been really suffering, at least from my point of view. I feel really annoyed by him most of the time, he just pisses me off, so I prefer to avoid him sometimes in order not to let my irritation show too much. I frequently catch myself feeling relief when he’s going to work for a few days, or looking forward to him leaving for longer, and then I feel like a monster for feeling so, because it doesn’t seem to have any particularly strong reason other than he gets on my nerves, sometimes just with his presence.

How about you and your parents? πŸ™‚

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9 thoughts on “Question of the day.”

  1. I was always close to mom, but nowadays we’re really close, when I was young I got on better too with my dad, but nowadays I tolerate him, he’s very anal about things, obsessive, I think he suffers with undiagnosed anxiety, he’s also very quick to anger and very controlling, its his way or no way at all. My mom on the other hand is laid back, she takes things easy, she’s very mellow, I like that about her. I always wanted to have a close relationship with my mom, so I am glad we do now. xoxo

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    1. I could definitely say my Dad is controlling and irascible too, and obsessive to some degree as well but I don’t think to the point of it being anxiety, but only he can know that for sure. It’s so good that your relationship with your mum has strengthened so very much and that you get on so well, I think it’s a great gift to have in life if you have a mum that you can really talk to and rely on her, and enjoy spending time together.

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  2. I’m sorry things with your dad have been strained! I hope they can improve somehow!

    Well, hmm….. no, as a child, I wasn’t closer to one parent or the other. Then, as a teenager, when they were divorced, it became a pros/cons list like this: Mother kept a clean home and cooked great meals, but was insane. My dad was a slob who bought fast food or cooked frozen fish sticks, but he was calm and laid-back. So much back-and-forth between the mansions my mom lived in versus my dad’s humble apartments, insanity versus stability, etc.; but this is how that played out: first, I moved in with my dad for keeps. Then, my brother followed. Then, our sister followed. My dad went from the every-other-weekend sort of parent to the custodial parent, pretty much because that’s what my siblings and I chose.

    As an adult, it’s become clear that NO ONE can live with my mother, so it all makes sense that it worked out that way. But I’ve become much closer to my dad while trying to juggle my mom’s shifting levels of niceness. Fun question!

    Liked by 1 person

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