Hi guys. 🙂
Here’s my question for you today.
Do you silently judge someone if they had a kid very young (teenager) or very old (mid to late 40’s)?
My answer:
I usually don’t think much about these things because I am not a parent myself, although it does happen that I easily judge very young parents, because I just think it’s a pity to become a parent as early as in your teens, there is still going to be plenty of time for that, and teenagers aren’t usually mature enough for that, it’s a huge responsibility, while teenage years should ideally be a time of only preparing for such responsibilities, in my opinion, and not jumping into deep waters straight away. I also think it’s so often a result of thoughtlessness and lack of knowledge in sexual matters so that’s sad. And other than that being a Christian, from the religious point of view I think it’s wrong. Although I try not to let my first judgments influence my relation to people, because everyone’s situation is obviously very different, sexual assaults and such happen and it would be cruel to judge someone without knowing the background, and also even if such a teenage pregnancy is a result of some wrong decisions, no one of us is perfect and one wrong thing they did doesn’t define them as people, that would be crazy, and they may still be awesome and loving parents anyway. With older parents, well I might be just very surprised hearing about people having a child so late, I honestly don’t know many such people in person, can only think of one couple for whom it was very difficult because they already had many children and that late one was very unexpected, and they were struggling financially very much. I also might be a bit worried as such pregnancies are often more complicated and risky, but I don’t see anything else wrong with it, if you feel OK with it yourself and feel happy to be a late parent then why not, I think it also must have its upsides, despite many people seem to think otherwise.
How about you? 🙂
My Inner MishMash 
At this point I don’t particularly care when people have kids. But I remember in high school there was a girl a few years younger than I was had a baby, and she would bring the baby to school with her. At the time, I judged. Then again, I grew up in a very small town and had a fairly narrow realm of experience.
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There was also a girl I went to school with who had a baby, and everyone knew about it, and I was very shocked and judged her, but that was a novelty for me too and I wasn’t familiar with such things, maybe just saw that happening in some TV series occasionally. 😀
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I don’t know if I am judging, though the proliferation of teen moms, even when I was a teen, is disturbing. Babies raising babies. But since I was 36 when I had Spook and it was considered a ‘geriatric pregnancy’…I don’t blink twice at older women having babies. Maybe because they’ve sown their oats and are ready to be a mother. Teenagers too often let the grandparents raise the child and that’s just…not cool. Okay, so I am judging. It’s a flaw.
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Yeah older women being pregnant definitely aren’t as disturbing as teenage pregnancies, I also often feel that an older mum can feel more confident as a mum, and maternal instinct doesn’t go away as you get older, it can actually strengthen I think.
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I tend to think it’s wrong for anyone to have a baby. I’m a member of the “let’s let Earth’s population die out” camp. But I might be the only member. Having kids, to me, is such a huge responsibility that it shocks me that so many people do it, and with a cavalier attitude about it, no less. I definitely think it’s wrong to have a baby as a teenager, mainly for practical reasons. I guess I’d be okay with it if someone could rise to the occasion and make it work out, but my overall thoughts are like yours in that it seems like an unnecessary burden to someone so young, who should be focusing on her life as a young person. On the other hand, very few people’s lives go “normally” in the sense of finishing school, getting a career, getting married, having a baby at the exact age of 25, etc., etc.
I can relate to what everyone else has said: I, too, thought it was delicious scandal when a classmate in ninth grade told me she might be pregnant. And I think it’s awful to burden the baby’s grandparents with the job, simply because the parents are irresponsible teenagers. Great question!!
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I completely agree with you that having kids is such a huge responsibility, overwhelmingly huge I’d say, at least for me it would be, and many people seem to have a very light-hearted attitude in this matter.
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I don’t think it’s great for old people to have babies, especially when the dads are ridiculously old. I don’t care how wealthy they are. It’s sad to me when I see these celeb dads at age 50+ with newborns and the 20-30 year old wives. I do judge. When the babies are teenagers, they will have a dad who’s nearing 70, or older.
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It often does feel weird to me too – 50+ dads with babies, or couples where the wife is significantly younger and the husband is 50+ – but unless there are some other circumstances, I don’t think it’s wrong in itself, although it looks kind of celeb-like very often. And I often wonder whether couples with such a big age difference can actually get along and understand each other, and whether it’s really love that’s the cause of them being together, but it’s not like I have something against the idea of large age differences in couples and I can understand why some women look for more mature and older guys with stable lives.
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Yes, I think I silently judge particularly teenage parents.
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Yeah, it’s really easy to judge them.
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