Kent – “Den Sista SΓ₯ngen” (The Last Song).

I thought I’d share some more Swedish music with you. Not that there hasn’t been much of it so far, but there could always be some more, that’s my point of view. πŸ˜€ And for a while, I’m gonna particularly focus on Swedish pop.

The band I’m going to show you today is extremely popular in Sweden and in whole Scandinavia. That’s a huge downside, and that’s why I wasn’t familiar with their music at all for years after I heard about their existence. Even the way I learnt about them was quite peculiar, it was via my Swedish textbook, well, if you see a band’s name in a standard textbook it must be hugely popular and you have to live under a rock, or not speak Swedish, to not know them. Now I’m not much more knowledgeable, because I only know some of their songs, just a few, but I must say it sounds better than I’d expect from such a famous band. I’m not crazy about them, but they are definitely OK> They changed their style frequently throughout their existence but it’s like pop, alternative rock, or indie rock, or synth pop… something like that. The band doesn’t exist anymore, and I want to show you the song from their last album, which is nomen omen called “Den Sista SΓ₯ngen” – The Last Song. – The album was released in 2016 and soon afterwards they announced their departure. After many many years. They were on the Swedish scene since the 90’s. And this is actually their song that I like the most out of those I know, again, not crazy about it, but quite like it. I also have the lyrics for you, because of course such a famous Swedish band does have their lyrics translated to English, unlike many others.

 

Your sun-warmed hands

Cool pacific winds played in your hair

I remember it as if it was yesterday

We drove through Malibu

When it finally became spring

It would be a chilly night

It would be a slow fall

And you smiled through freckles

With tears in the eyes

 

Everything was in the eyes

Everything is in the eyes

 

We left bloodstains in the tracks

But in the memory blowing winds

Your wayfarers in your hair

You cried sun-warmed tears

Courtney sang about Malibu

And everything could have been ours

It will be a chilly night

It will be a lonely night

But I would not change anything

Even if I had known that this was

 

The last time, the last

time we met

The last song, the last

song you get

The last time, the last

time we met

This is the last song, the last

song you get

 

We took the car to Roosevelt to get the kids

Before the winter holidays

They stood in a line

They sang in a choir

It felt like they sang for us

One very last song

We are on the run again both you and I

We come from somewhere else

than where we are right now

Oh they sang for us

One last time

One last song

They sang for us

 

The stars are up

one fell down

and flew away

Flew away

 

This is the last time,

the last time we meet

The last song

the last song I give you

The last time

The last time

We meet

The last song, the last song

I give you

Question of the day (14th May).

Hey people. πŸ™‚

Here’s my question for yesterday for you. πŸ™‚

Where would you live if language, location to friends and family, etc. wasn’t a factor?

My answer:

In one of the countries where my favourite languages are spoken. Most probably I’d choose Britain, and I think some rural area in Wales, preferably north Wales, but really, it would be hard to pick one of those countries if I had a serious choice. And then Poland is great too after all, just not all practical aspects of living here are always that great, but I think I would miss some things about it a great deal if I was to move.

How about you? πŸ™‚

Question of the day.

What kind of exotic/uncommon pet would you want if it were affordable/safe/legal/moral (for the animal)?

My answer:

Hm, I’m not sure… I guess I’m really happy with my Misha. I also don’t really have an interest in any exotic animals. The only thing I can think about is a horse. I’d love to have my own horse, so that I could ride more regularly and also so that I could establish a really strong bond with it and so it would be just mine.

How about you? πŸ™‚

Jade Bird – “Cathedral”.

Hi guys! πŸ™‚

Another newish to me singer songwriter today, and also from England. Her name is Jade Bird and she is 21, and is also a really good lyricist, writing about stuff that matters to herself and about her own experiences. It’s hard to classify her music to any particular music genre, but I’d say it’s something in between indie, a bit of a folk pop, like this new wave folk kind of, alternative, and maybe a bit of Americana. The album from which this song comes is by the way called “Something American”. So here’s “Cathedral”. Enjoy. πŸ™‚

Question of the day.

What was the thing that first motivated you to start blogging?

My answer:

Well I had my first blog when I was… 13, 14 maybe, I don’t know if there was any special motive, like a very big one. I had just joined a sort of online network for the blind and you could blog very easily on there. I read some of other people’s blogs just to get an idea what a blog actually is, and I simply thought “Wow, that’s a cool thing, I’m gonna try this”. It was an easy decision because I always loved writing and was good at it. So it just sort of felt right, and was easy enough to do, you didn’t have to care about any technical stuff there like, I don’t know, a theme or anything, and there wasn’t much chance that you’ll get a lot of readership from outside the network unless you’d just give out your address to people, you just clicked “Create a blog” and it was there, so I didn’t really have to think much, it wasn’t like a very serious decision, though since then I’ve almost always had some sort of a blog.

So how about you? πŸ™‚

Grace Petrie – “Iago”.

This is a relatively new artist for me, she is a folk vocalist, and she seems to write very interesting lyrics, often about politics or social stuff that – I think – aren’t too easy to write about in songs. Grace Petrie is from Leicester, and she is also an avid Shakespeare fan, and this song has been inspired by Shakespeare’s play “Othello”, more exactly the main antagonist Iago, the one who was supposed to be Othello’s best friend and manipulated him. The Iago in Grace Petrie’s song is more like a metaphor, it’s about insecurities that people struggle with in their love life, and Iago is a personification of those insecurities, so it’s like each of us has our own Iago who’s telling us bullshit. I really like this Shakespeare inspired metaphor! And the song is fabulous!

Question of the day (11th May).

Hi guys. πŸ™‚

Here’s my question for you for yesterday since I didn’t manage to post it on time.

Do you have a non political opinion you would like to share?

My answer:

Russian mustard is really yum yum yum! And that’s quite a discovery to me, made only today. I used to think my whole life until now that mustard is yuck, no matter what kind, I really dislike the texture of most of them. So now I’m changing my opinion at least in regard to Russiann mustard. It’s really not bad, it’s so spicy and the consistence isn’t as off-putting. It’s actually very good! πŸ˜€ I hadn’t ever tried this mustard before.

What would YOU like to share? πŸ™‚ And by the way, do you have any opinion regarding Russian mustard? How about mustard in general? Any kind of mustard you particularly like/dislike? πŸ™‚

Spook and Morgue need our help.

Hi guys! πŸ™‚

I’m sharing the video made by Spook, daughter of Morgueticia from Take A Ride On My Moodswing

. They are in a very difficult life and financial situation, and as a result, Spook has never been on a vacation, which I think is a real shame that it has to be so! So she has created a fundraiser, and is asking people for donations, so that, with our help, she can finally make this little dream – that so many of us so often take for granted – come true.

I know there are all great people reading my mishmashy scribbles, (you wouldn’t be here if you weren’t great), so I also know they can count on your help. If you can’t donate anything at all, please share the video so that more people know, on social media or on your blog or where you can. Here’s Spook:

Question of the day.

Hi people! πŸ™‚

Today the question I have for you is about your childhood:

Was there anything you were allowed to do as a kid that most kids weren’t allowed to do?

My answer:

Well I guess that in a way, in our family, I was always the more privileged child in some respect. That was because of multiple things, I think. First of all, I was disabled and I think that in some regards it did impact my parents attitudes towards me. I was also their first child, the first one who was actually born and survived that is, as well as I was my maternal grandparents first grandchild, so that was a big thing, and had both good and bad consequences for me. Another thing was that when Olek was born, he was healthy and able-bodied, and there has strangely been a consistent generational pattern on both sides of my family that fathers are in a constant conflict with their sons, and so is with my Dad and Olek, even though things have eased over the years, but because of that, Dad was always more naturally inclined to me. According to my Dad I learnt to speak very quickly and apparently I was able to speak in sentences before I was a year old, while my younger siblings would learn to speak much later on and I know that my Dad really liked that about me ’cause he could actually get along with me as he says himself, he also always liked to show off with me. πŸ˜€ From all the recordings and stuff that they have of me from that time, I don’t think I was particularly special in this regard, and so does my Mum, but my Dad claims I was really different from all the children he’s ever met and more communicative. I don’t think he has more experience with children though, so from his perspective that may be true indeed. πŸ˜€ Then when I went to school at the age of 5 so I was about 400 km away from home and when I would come home it was more like I was a guest than anything and it was like a holiday for us and I was treated like a VIP which on one hand was cool because, well, who wouldn’t like to be treated like a VIP, but on the other hand was damn confusing and mesed up a lot of things for me, particularly my sense of belonging and stability ’cause that wasn’t really normal, even though I liked it. My Mum always thought I am so very mature, which she probably confused with me being intelligent, so she would always be much less strict with me than with Olek, who wasn’t much less bright but much more hyperactive and impulsive and that was what people had seen first about him.

It was particularly my Dad who was making a very visible difference between me and Olek. As a little child, I was happy about it, especially seeing how awfully and often irrationally stern he is with Olek, and I thought that I am just so lucky to be Daddy’s little girl and we’ve always got along well, despite there isn’t anything like some deeper understanding between us, we’re in a close but rather superficial relationship, not a very serious one, it’s quite immature.

Daddy woould be real nasty to Olek about something we did together while I wouldn’t suffer any consequences at all, or just a bit of telling off or some grumpiness until he forgets about the whole thing. He always liked to cuddle with me and although he was never the spoiling, doting kind of Daddy, he was close to that with me. I’ve also always had a bit of understanding of people so I knew how to not irritate him and how to convince him to something I wanted, and I guess I still have quite a strong influence onhim if I’ll try. He would buy me lots of yummy stuff just for myself, or take me to the beach and we’d go there just on our own, he would even sometimes play with me, while he never did that with Olek or even Zofijka as far as I am aware, or take me for quite long road trips or I remember that he took me from school in his tanker a couple times and that was always very adventurous and those tanker trips were always very exciting for me and one of my best childhood memories. Only that things have kind of broken a bit at some point, at least from my perspective, because we were once talking with Mum about Dad and Olek having another major crisis, Mum mentioned rather lightly, and probably not realising what kind of impact it was going to have on me, or rather how it’s going to sound, that Dad has always felt more fond of me because I am disabled so he was able to feel like more sympathetic towards me and have a better relationship with me than with Olek or Zofijka, and because I was away from home most of the time. I didn’t react to that, but it really got me ragin’. Maybe I should be a bit more understanding or something, like see the full picture and how it really is from his perspective, (though I’m not sure he’d be able and/or willing to tell me anything constructive) or just let go of that, but to me it sounded really awful and I am definitely not as genuine anymore in relation to him, anymore because knowing him it actually looks very likely. I suppose in some circumstances even feelings such as sympathy can with time grow into something more but then he wouldn’t treat us so unevenly.

I’ve always had a very strong relationship with my Mum, not always that very good, but dynamic and deep and pretty intense, and while she wasn’t as obviously favourising anyone as my Dad did, and has always loved all of us, she has always been very protective of me, don’t know if over- but very protective, and she would often let me do things that she wouldn’t let Olek do. I now know she has a lot of guilt feelings about that I had to be so far away from home, as if she could change much about it, and I think she wanted to compensate that for me in different ways, as well as that I said she just thought that I am so very mature.

Some of the things that I can remember were that Mum let me drink coffee from a relatively young age (guess I was like 8 or 9 years old and I really loved that and it made me feel so grown-up, I didn’t like to think about being a grown-up, but I did like the coffee drinking aspect πŸ˜€ hence probably my current coffee troubles hahaha). Now Zofijka is older than me then and would also like to drink coffee, but Mum tells her “No! It’s not for children!”. So I once asked her why Zofijka can’t, but I could, just of plain curiosity, and Mum argument was that “She’s too silly”. Can’t quite make the connection between those things, I know quite a few adult people who are silly and I would even say that’s too light a word and they still drink coffee but OK… Zofijka now is also spoiled by everyone, but in a completely different way as she’s just the youngest and the only child in the family at this point.

A funny thing, that I still consider funny, and a little bit confusing at times, is that my Mum have always asked me about lots of things, that she didn’t know but assumed that I might know. It looked particularly funny when we were somewhere with other people, ’cause which parent would ask the child about things. πŸ˜€ Parents always like to be right, and especially don’t like to admit that they don’t know something their child knows, like which spelling of the word repeatedly is correct (in Polish of course). πŸ˜€ When I was in my teens, she started to ask me for advice on lots of things, like what she should do in some situation or what she should choose. No, my Mum is not an indecisive person, I guess she just values my opinion or something, and I know she thinks I am a good listener. Now it’s not as weird as when I was a child, but when I was a child it felt kind of not typical in comparison to other families I knew that Mum would ask me what to do. It’s still confusing at times because you actually never know what her reaction might be like when you say something, even if in the end after a few months she’s going to say that I was right. πŸ˜€ Somehow though, maybe a little strangely, I’ve never had a problem with acknowledging her authority, it’s with Dad that I’ve always had this problem, and I don’t really consider him an authoritative figure or someone that I’d obey nowadays, for reasons other than to have a peace of mind.

What had been a bit of a problem for Olek when we were kids was that I got a phone when I was 12. It was a spontaneous decision and not really because I wanted it so much. Generally my Mum is against introducing technologies to children too early, and she used to say that she’ll buy us cell phones when we’ll be maybe like 15-16 or maybe even older. But when I was 12, I had to leave the integration school – closer to home – where I was for two years, and there didn’t seem to be much other choice than to go back to my old school. But Mum felt that now I’d need a phone, not only because I was older than when I was going there before, but also because I really didn’t want to go there so she hoped that if I would be able to be in some control of when we are in touch rather than have to wait for her to call the boarding school phone and possibly miss it, I might be more at ease with going back there, and that would just be more practical for me to have a phone. There was no such need for Olek though, so he had to wait some more, despite that he actually wanted a phone much more than I did.

Zofijka was much luckier, because although Mum also threatened her that she won’t have her own phone until almost adulthood, Zofijka was much more persevering, and also the times have obviously changed so it’s harder to stick to such a resolution. So about two years ago, when Zofijka was only 9, and had her leg in plaster, was terribly bored and really making a pain in the but of herself for all of us, Mum one day suddenly bought her a smartphone. She doesn’t have the Internet connection, but even without it, it still continues to make a lot of havoc in poor Zofijka’s mind.

I was also frequently allowed to stay up late, sometimes really late at night. It was well motivated though because my sleep cycle was messed up anyway so after some trials and errors Mum has rightly decided that no point for me going to bed at say 9 PM and waking me up at 7 AM for example if I’m not going to sleep either and am going to be drowsy the next day or be up and about at 3 AM. And it was often a lot of fun for me. I’d watch movies with parents, eat crisps withh Dad, or just listen to music and play or something – the best ideas for plays come to mind at night, just as now I still have the best and most creative ideas at night as well. – πŸ˜€

So those are the examples that I can remember now. It was kind of two-sided as you can see, both cool, and quite a bit confusing. And often made me feel not right in relation to my siblings. Like when I was going to the integration school and was thus living at home for two years and still having such a special treatment all the time, I felt pretty much like an intruder or something like this because my siblings weren’t treated like that, and I was afraid they might hold grudges against me because of that, especially Olek. But overall, I don’t consider my childhood particularly happy, – not somehow incredibly bad, but definitely not happy – so in a way I was glad of all that because it kinda made me feel special, in a weird way, but still.

OK so now you let me know how about you? And what was your point of view about that you were allowed those things? πŸ™‚

Question of the day.

Hey people! πŸ™‚

Today I come to you with a food related question.

Do you eat leftovers? If so, do you prepare them in a way that’s different from the way they were originally served, or do you just warm them up and eat them?

My answer:

Yes, we eat leftovers. Otherwise it would be a massive food waste because my Mum tends to make a lot of food so that it’s enough for a few days. Especially when it’s a soup, and in Poland people really like eating soups, and we have them often too, because they are easy to make and can usually fill you up for a long time, and there are so many yummy soups out there. Even on Monday Mum made tomato soup and we had it until yesterday, but actually the tomato soup was made from the chicken soup we had before. If it’s something else than a soup, and especially if there are a lot of separate stuff that is left, Mum will oftenn make something different out of it all if possible just to finish it. But usually when we eat leftovers it’s in the same form they were previously made. some things get pretty yucky in my opinion as leftovers, so I avoid eating them this way and would rather eat them at once if I don’t want them to be wasted. my favourite Silesian dumplings are one of such dishes. They are heavenly when fresh, but if you just warm them up after a few hours they are really bland and rubbery and no amount of seasonings is going to change it. So it really depends on the type of food.

How about you? πŸ™‚

Question of the day.

Hi people! πŸ™‚

A quirky name related question for you today:

Has anyone ever told you that you don’t look like your name? Like: “You’re Mary? You don’t look like a Mary!” and if so, did they suggest what name you did look like?

My answer:

Don’t know if it was more about looks, or character/personality/behaviour, or perhaps both, but yes, my own mother, who gave me my birth name, told me that. πŸ˜€ Isn’t it a bit ironic?! When I told my Mum for the first time that I really liked the name Emilia, she told me that actually, she doesn’t feel like my birth name suits me, and if she was to make that decision again, she wouldn’t give it to me, and that Emilia did feel kind of better though she didn’t know what she’d rename me if she could and had to make her own choice. She said a strange thing, that when she mentions me or talks about me with someone and uses my name, it feels like she’s talking and thinking about two different people. πŸ˜€ That sounded weird, but felt even more weird for me because it corresponded with my feeling when people talked to me using my birth name. It felt as if they thought I am someone different, like I need to change my behaviour and the way I act to suit their expectations and their view of me. And there are still people who call me my birth name, and in most cases I get it because it’s family and if you’d always known someone by a certain name it’s hard to suddenly change it, and I still get this feeling when they call me my birth name, I didn’t know why it is so but I always felt a kind of annoyance when someone called me by my birth name, and there was some weird dissonance or something, I guess. Another weird thing here was that apparently when I was born, my gran asked Mum if she’d already picked a name for me. Mum said that she was hesitating, and she suggested Emilia. My gran! I was really surprised when I heard that because, well, my gran has five children, and looking at their names, her naming taste appears to be completely different and I can’t imagine her liking the name Emilia. Of course it was a different time when her children were born, late 50’s-early 70’s, and the name Emilia would be a bit more unusual then, but still… quite unbelievable for me even after a couple years since I learnt about that. Also I’ve never had a particularly close relationship with her, if any at all. That doesn’t mean we don’t like each other or anything, just can’t connect on any deeper level, we’re pretty glaringly different kinds of people, other than that we both seem to like the name Emilia. πŸ˜€ She didn’t comment though, or at least not to me directly and not so that I would know, about my name change.

And then there is my aunt, after whom I was named, who says I absolutely don’t fit the name Emilia. And I guess I know why she thinks so. Simply because most of my extended family, who knew me by my birth name, and don’t see me often enough and don’t know me well enough to feel familiar with the change even after about four years, still call me my birth name. And, among them, I don’t feel like an Emilia or not fully. I still feel like I have to play that other girl they want, don’t know why really because I’m not that desperate for their acceptance, maybe it’s just something that I can’t get rid of, or maybe it’s some coping/defensive strategy or whatever. I only feel fully like an Emilia when I’m with people I’m feeling at least a bit of a closer connection and like we get each other, or when I’m on my own, or doing what I love, or with people who don’t know me at all so don’t have any rooted assumptions/prejudices/expectations towards me.

Aside from that, when I was a kid in nursery, I met a woman who constantly called me Anna, and I didn’t correct her, but at some point someone else did, and she was like: “Oh really?! I’m sorry, I must have forgotten. But you look so much like an Anna!”. πŸ˜€ I also had a teacher who once renamed me, I assume either on purpose and jokingly or because he forgot my real name but still wanted to call me something, and he called me Maryla. πŸ˜€ I am 100% sure he didn’t think that was my real name, because… I don’t know how to explain it really haha… well I guess because it’s one of those names with a really kind of dusty, outdated feel, that aren’t bad or that don’t have any common bad associations but that most people just don’t like. So the likelihood of me or my equal being called Maryla is like if your average kid in an American school was called Muriel for example (I love Muriel but I’ve heard there are also many people in the US who hate it). πŸ˜€ A girl standing next to me immediately said in a very serious voice that I am not Maryla, but he was laughing and like: “No? What a pity. But from now on she’ll be. She looks so to me”. That was kinda funny, although, trying to be objective, I couldn’t and still can’t think of anything in myself that could make me seem like an average Maryla. πŸ˜€ And the girl beside me was even more confused than me. πŸ˜€ The guy was generally quite bizarre though.

Also a girl from our neighbourhood whom I used to play for some time when we were children once said a similar thing, though not exactly that I don’t look like my name. We were playing some make-believe game and I picked the name Helena for myself in it, and she was like: “Oh Helena, you’re really like a Helena!”. I do love Helena to pieces, but I’d go mad if someone called me Hela, if it was my name, and that would be highly likely. And I’m not really convinced Helena would fully suit me, I think you need to be a bit more expressive than I am to be a good example of a Helena and in harmony with this name, not extroverted, but just a bit more expressive, more engaging with other people I’d say, and maybe a bit impulsive too which I’m normally not at all.

OK, so how about you? Have you ever been renamed like that? πŸ˜€

Question of the day.

Hi people! πŸ™‚

I have a sort of linguistic question for you today.

If you have trouble understanding a person with a very thick accent, do you feel bad about it, and you apologise if you have to ask them to repeat things?

My answer:

First of all, in Polish we definitely don’t have such a variety of accents as you guys have in English. There are accents, dialects and stuff but the language is fairly universal and most peopleactually don’t even know the features of most of them unless they’re just into observing how different people speak. So, if someone speaks in Polish with an accent that I have some trouble understanding, and this person is Polish, I don’t really feel bad, I feel surprised and like “How come they talk like this their whole life?” or something. I listen to English every day, write in English and read English, but I’ve never been to an English-speaking country and I haven’t really had many conversations with English natives, so I don’t have much experience here. But yeah, I think I would feel bad. I’m normally not really a perfectionist, but I definitely am when it comes to languages, or some aspects of language learning, and I’d just feel bad about myself in a way I guess if I couldn’t figure out what someone’s saying to me. I also love accents, I love how rich English is with all the accents and dialects and everything, so I’d be frustrated if that were a significant barrier in communication for me and the person I’m talking with, even though I do know that there are still a fair bit of English accents that I don’t always understand even though I’m normally pretty good at figuring out accents or even mimicking them as for someone in whose language they almost don’t occur, Ithink. I’d also feel a bit bad for that person, I wouldn’t like them to feel that I am discriminating them in any way or something. And my social anxiety and generally anxiety in regard to communication would come up stronger probably. But I also love a language challenge so I would also appreciate a chance to learn something new and have a new experience as a result of such a communication barrier. When I was in Stockholm, I already knew earlier that people are pretty laid back in Sweden about accents and everyone talks with their own accent, it’s like there’s no actual standard version of Swedish unless you perhaps consider the Stockholm variant as such. But I was surprised how many different varieties of the same language I could hear. I also had a long conversation with a gem stones shop owner who was from Scania, I always have a bit of a trouble understanding people with a strong Scanian accent. It was difficult, and because of my anxiety a bit exhausting, but also very rewarding. The whole Stockholm trip was like that for me. And it was so interesting to hear all those different dialects, even though I think in English they are even richer and more diverse. SO how about you? πŸ™‚

Question of the day (6th May).

Have you ever quit caffeine? What was it like? Did you wean yourself off, or did you quit cold turkey?

My answer:

Yes, I’ve quit caffeine very recently. I felt I had to. I was feeling very jittery in the mornings and my anxiety was often sky high and I couldn’t put my finger on it for a long time why it was this way. I used to drink only a cup of coffee a day most of the time, but very strong coffee, because for me it felt more like a necessity than simply something I did only because I wanted, though yeah, I loved my coffee. I had to drink it because my blood pressure is always very low, so it kinda helped me in the mornings to have the energy levels that little bit higher. It wasn’t really helping spectacularly, I gseem to have fairly high caffeine tolerance and it had happened to me a few times that I actually had a nap after my strong coffee without a problem, but I’d tried lots of other things like strong teas or energy drinks and couldn’t feel any effect at all. Coffee helped at least a bit in a way that I could actually feel somehow. Yet most often after a while it would become so that my anxiety and jitteriness would increase while energy would drop again, and all the dizziness and stuff would be back, and that was pretty bad. So, despite I really loved my coffee, I quit it cold turkey, I was really surprised by that discovery but also kind of relieved that I’ve figured it out. I don’t think I’d been addicted like on a physiological level, I didn’t have any withdrawal symptoms or anything like that despite my coffee was really strong and EVERY single day, which confirms my theory that I probably tolerate it very well but just react strangely. But I’ve surely become addicted on the psychological level and I miss my morning coffee ritual a lot, I miss the taste of coffee. And there is my low blood pressure stil with which I don’t know what to do, I really don’t like the idea of taking supplements or medications for that, yet neither green teas nor anything alike that I’ve tried seems to help significantly. I’ve kinda get used to it over the years but now as I don’t even have my coffee it’s a pain in the neck a bit. So I feel the lack of it.

Have YOU ever quit caffeine? πŸ™‚

Question of the day (5th May).

Would you ever consider naming your child after yourself, so she/he would be a “junior”? What would you think if this custom came back?

My answer:

Back when I was still using my birth name, and didn’t really think seriously about changing it, despite I did already think about myself as Emilia and loved this name, I thought that maybe if I had a daughter, I could call her Emilia instead. But now, even if I wouldn’t change my name to Emilia, it doesn’t seem a good idea for me. I think I would feel like something is not right if I did that. I could give my potential daughter my name as a middle, but probably wouldn’t, despite it is a kind of custom in our family and our region. I find it nice but boring.

Emilia is also a really hot name at the moment, I guess quite a bit more popular than among girls my age, not far below the top 10 and rising, and with Amelia being #9 and other -lia names in close proximity, and that’s off-putting for me for a baby name. As for this custom in general, of naming children after parents, like using a parent’s first name as a child’s first name, it’s not really common in Poland. I remember when I was a child, Olek told me about his class teacher “You know, you would get along with my class teacher, she likes the name Jacek, just as you, her husband is Jacek, and her son is Jacek too!”. πŸ˜€ And we were both like WOW! That’s crazy! How does she tell them apart? She really must love that name. So, I’d say it’s not really normal here. If you want to name your child after yourself or your spouse, use your name as their middle name. OK, my Dad wanted to call me Anna, after my Mum, but that’s probably why he didn’t in the end, because it’s her name already and because it’s not normal. But since I am now pretty familiar with lots of weird naming customs all around the world and especially in the English-speaking countries, it doesn’t really impress me and I don’t mind it, if someone wants it, it’s not my business. I just think it’s a little bit boring because there are so many beautiful names out there. Why limiting ourselves to just a handful?! Because I can see that if a parent names their child after themself, and a lot of people start to follow that trend, their children will likely do the same, and then naturally people’s names might suddenly become really boring and repetitive. I even have a problem with this middle names tradition over here, that everyone needs to have their parent’s name as a middle almost obligatorily, even though I do love my middle name after my Mum, I feel like it doesn’t allow creativity, especially that you can have only one middle in Poland if you’re a Polish citizen, not counting confirmation or a few traditional/obsolete hyphenated exceptions. Also, I can’t ignore the baby namer in me shouting “NO!” because as a firm believer in that a name carries a personality, or at least a strong potential influence on a person with itself, I just can’t help but feel that if you call your child after yourself, he or she may feel kind of unconsciously forced to be like you! To fulfill your expectations, follow your footsteps, won’t feel their own sense of identity, or at least that their name doesn’t belong fully to them. I was named after a close family member and my Mum’s best friend at the same time (they both shared a name), and still felt that way, like they want me to be someone I’m not, so how must a person named after their parent feel? That’s how I see it, you don’t have to agree with me and I’m pretty sure many people wouldn’t. So if someone would ask me for an advice regarding this, I’d say yes, you can, but if your name is easily nicknamed, try to find a different nickname for him, even if it’s just one letter or syllable more/less or a slightly altered spelling or let him have a nickname unrelated to the nickname that he likes and can go by daily, you’ll have to try to show your child that you embrace who he comes to be, that you accept him as he is and you’ll have to really stress that in his upbringing and make sure his personality develops harmoniously. I feel though like there really is a risk of some kind of disharmony between your own individuality and the way your family influences you. On a little different note, it’s just a little thought and it doesn’t mean that I have a problem with people naming their kids after themselves or am prejudiced but in a way it kinda feels a bit selfish to me. ‘Cause generally if we name our children after someone, we admire that person, or want to honour them because of something. So it feels slightly as if someone had a bit too large an ego. πŸ˜€

How about you? πŸ™‚

Song of the day (4th May) – Yr Angen – “Boi Bach Skint” (Little Skint Boy).

Hi people! πŸ™‚

Here is another song from the band Yr Angen that I want to share with you on my blog, this one is finally on Youtube so all of you can hear it, regardless if you have that weird thing called Spotify or not.

Question of the day.

What are you remembering?

My answer:

Recently lots of things have been reminding me about one of my close friends, with whom I am no longer in touch with, and it’s kind of bittersweet I’d say. I am thinking a lot about him recently somehow and it is both very nice and hurts at the same time ’cause I’ve been missing him a lot. Also, I had a bad dream last night, not like a full blown nightmare or sleep paralysis, but just not a pleasant dream, nothing more, and it involved some school stuff. I had to be up very early today, and that fact, of being up so early, and having that bad dream, it together reminded me that oh wow, today a year has passed since my finals. And, ugh, I’m so glad all that havoc is over. Both with the preparations and the finals. Last year was so devastating for me because of that, and then the finals themselves were absolutely scary for me, or rather accompanying events, not the actual finals, I guess that was kind of traumatising, or re-traumatising maybe I should say, I don’t know, that’s what my Mum says too. Grrrr scary! And then my Mum reminded me of that horror again. So glad it’s over and I don’t have to see those people from there anymore. I’m having a good day generally today, but my Monkey Maggie the Inner Critic is very active today and wants to constantly remind me that what happened then was only because of me, and, well, I guess at this point I’m no longer sure of anything. As if I ever was. πŸ˜€ It’s hard to stay rational when dealing with her really.

What are YOU remembering? πŸ™‚

Question of the day.

What are you not looking forward to?

My answer:

I’m not looking forward to my cousin’s 18th birthday. She’ll be having a very big party with dancing and lots of people, many of whom I’ve never even seen before, and I’m scared of that. I have arranged an escape plan for myself with the help of my very understanding grandad, from the other side of the family, not related to that cousin, and he said he’ll be able to help me most likely, but I’ll have to stay there for some time. Ugh scary. And boring.

You?

Bwncath – “CΓ’n Lon” (A Joyful Song).

Hi people! πŸ™‚

So, as I promised, I’m bringing you another song by this year’s “CΓ’n I Gymru” winner – Elidyr Glyn – or actually his band called Bwncath. This is a beautiful song, however it’s a bit of an enigma to me honestly! As you’ll be able to hear (hope that you’ll be able to hear at least a bit even if you don’t have Spotify, it’s annoying how it works that if you don’t have it you can only listen to an excerpt of a song) it’s actually a very sad song, both regarding the music, and, as far as I can tell with my lame Welsh skills, the lyrics as well, it even says “CΓ’n o dristwch ydi hon” if I got it right, which means “This is a song of sadness”. Yet it’s called a joyful song. Irony or what?! Seriously, I guess that there just might be something key in the lyrics that I don’t get. Because at the beginning he sings “Mae gen i gΓ’nau o lawn llon…” (I have songs full of joy) or something like that, and I guess later on there is something like that this one is different. Well yeah, figuring out the lyrics while not being fluent in a language, that can be very interesting at times. πŸ˜€ But in any case, I love this song, and if there is indeed something ironic, I like that a lot too, I like some irony in music, like when you have a very cheerful melody and tragically depressing words. And if it’s not irony, maybe when my Welsh gets better I’ll be able to figure out exactly what’s the point here.