Question of the day.

What do we need more of to make things work better?

My answer:

Could be lots of things, but my first thought was – empathy. I think it can improve so much, both for individuals and for humanity as a whole.

What is it that we need in your opinion? 🙂

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Question of the day.

How are you preparing for winter?

My answer:

Actually, I don’t think I’m preparing anything right now. I think it’s still a while until the actual winter comes. I have my winter clothes and don’t have to buy anything new, so I don’t think there will be any major preparations in any area of my life.

You? 🙂

Question of the day.

So the actual question for today is:

what was the last thing which made you swear out loud?

My answer:

Misha scared the shit out of me falling with his cartonboard from the wardrobe. I didn’t even realise what was going on for quite a while, was just so scared of the sudden noise and I just involuntarily swore in Finnish. Finnish is the best for swearing in case you didn’t know, and for me it’s a bit of an automatical reaction nowadays, which can be both good and bad depending on point of view or situation. My brain just kinda got used to swearing in Finnish. 😀 That was actually what I wanted it to do, but I wouldn’t expect to become such an automatic thing for me to do now when I want to swear or am scared or frustrated. Luckily I don’t have a habit of swearing a lot in front of other people, otherwise I think they’d be really scared and think I’m cursing them or something hahaha.

How about you? 🙂

Music Monday Care & Love – Frida Sundemo – Gold.

After a week break I’m back to Music Monday Care & Love at Bee’s.

Actually, I participated last week too, but was too unsettled and chaotic to make a post and sum things up.

If you follow Bee’s blog, or have read my previous Music Monday Care & Love post, you know that right now Bee is using Julia Cameron’s book “The Artist’s Way” as a resource for self care exercises, and now we’re in week 2 of it.

There have been a lot of tasks to do in both chapters in the book that we’ve gone through so far, but I think I’ve acomplished most of them, those that I could do at the time and that seemed most relevant to me at the moment at least.

I’ve been doing most of these tasks in my journal, as I put a lot of things in there, much more than just how was my day and such, and I think it will be a great sort of documentation of my self care and artistic recovery.

Similarly to Bee, and a bit surprisingly to me, I found the whole process more personal than I thought it’d be, so I won’t share things very in depth.

Anyway, I’ve discovered some quite surprising things about myself, my way of thinking, being, my beliefs… That was quite hard, the more that I am having generally a bit of a hard time lately with all the memories that have come back rushing to me together with my friend emerging from the past, and other things, but I also found it interesting.

What particularly resonated with me were affirmations and negative beliefs, about which Bee wrote last week HERE.

That was all quite powerful and gave me a lot of stuff to think about.

I had some trouble listing my “hall of horrors”, so the three people who have said something negative about my art. I realised that in my case it is more circumstances and events than just particular people, but I did manage to write a horror story basing on those circumstances and events anyway. Listing my champions of creativity was much easier.

Writing a thank you letter to myself was another hard thing, I don’t think it’s particularly good, but I still did it.

I just loved the idea of imaginatively lives.

And I did go for a walk too, last week, with my Mum.

As for journaling, or as Julia Cameron refers to it “morning pages” I am usually pretty consistent with it, which helps me a lot. I may not write on all days, but I always catch up on everything and generally write quite a lot when I write. Last week I journalled 5 days out of 7.

I had my artist’s date last week – which as you may remember for me is horse riding – and enjoyed it thoroughly. This week, unfortunately, it wasn’t possible, as my instructor was too busy.

I still have the list of 20 things I enjoy doing to make, and I look forward to doing it as maybe then I’ll come up with some new ideas for artist’s dates for weeks like this when I don’t have my horse riding.

ONe of my imaginatively lives is to be a writer, and, indeed, I’ve been writing almost all the time this week – apart from journaling, blogging etc. I decided to write some more of one of my books, that I’d stopped working on for a while, I don’t have any particular ambitions with it but I feel that writing it has always helped me to distract and feel better. This book is called “Jack Hamilton” and it’s about… well it’s about Jack Hamilton, Jack Hamilton is my imaginary friend, and I write about his life successively since many years and just can’t quit. I leave Jack alone for months, but can never quit writing about him. So that made my week in a way.

Actually, as I think about it now, I could make it another idea for my artist’s date hahaha.

Another task in 2nd chapter of “The Artist’s Way” is to write a list of 10 small changes we would like to make in our lives and pick two to and do them. So, one of my changes is “I would like to be more consistent with my creative writing”. And what I decided to do with it is – I will try to write at least three pages of one of three books I started per week. This week, it was time for Jack Hamilton, next it might be my viking book, and then, I don’t know yet whether my potential harlequin, or whether I’d rather want to focus o translating Vreeswijk, I’m rather leaning towards the latter as that seems more interesting, but also way more hard. And then again, Jack Hamilton, vikings, Vreeswijk/harlequin, every three weeks. I have a week for writing just 3 pages, and a week is actually a lot of time, so I’ll probably end up writing more if I’m not in a crisis or something haha. I’ve written 5 pages of Jack this week. I’m not going to stress myself out with it, just to be a bit more consistent and organised and really notice any progress with my writing.

My another change has to do with my thinking patterns, namely I’m trying to think less critically about myself, though, that seems to be much harder, and acually not such a small change as it may seem at first.

So that would be a little idea for you as for my self care and artistic recovery, now let’s get to the music.

As we’re going through “The Artist’s Way”, Bee suggests to make a playlist of songs that are encouraging for uus. I have two private playlists so far that are encouraging or helpful for me. One is entirely instrumental, with some relaxing music of different kinds, not always objectively relaxing like for meditation, but also folk or classical or electronic or chillout or soundtrack, it’s all just calm and instrumental. Another one is with all the music of my crushes. My all musical crushes are sort of antidotes for pain for me, and so is their music. It is actually quite amazing how it can lift me up at times or at least distract. I wouldn’t like to be boring and monothematic though, because I’ve shared two of my crushes’ music in last two Music MOnday posts.

But there’s also plenty of other kinds of music and songs that I find more or less encouraging. I decided that today’s song will be something that’s rather new to me. I like interesting new discoveries, the mere idea of interesting new music discoveries is always very encouraging and making such discoveries is a part of my weekly self care routine 😀 so I decided to go through my new discoveries of the last few months or even weeks and pick something.

And I found something that feels perfect in a way. It is “Gold” by a Swedish synth pop musician Frida Sundemo.

Just the sounds of this song are so light and delicate and a bit magical and make you feel relaxed and your mindset more cheerful. And I love the lyrics. They’re soothing, but encouraging. There is an ocean. Ocean can be gentle. Comforting. Beautiful. Ocean is smooth and its waves can rock you to sleep. You can swim peacefully in it. But ocean is also big, for me it feels like a challenge. So it’s not just soothing. It’s gently motivating too. And that’s what encouragement is all about in my opinion.

Question of the day (26th October).

What do you need but do not want? – ALSO – What do you want but do not need?

My answer:

Hm, that’s tricky for me for some reason… Sometimes I don’t really know what I need, or I feel I need way too much, or that whatever it is that I need, I just can’t get it. I also often haven’t a clue about what I want, despite I know that I want something desperately.

My Mum says I neeed to socialise more, but I definitely don’t want to. I mean, it’s not like I don’t like people in general, I’m just fine with only those I talk to, I don’t need more, and social interactions can be so damn exhausting.

I need to scan all my books someday, but I don’t want to, well, I do, but it’s so time-consuming and I never seem to be able to do it right. 😀

I need to tell a story about Jim to Zofijka – perhaps you remember when I was writing about bed time stories I make up for Zofijka, about a creature, a jimosaurus, called Jim, who lives by helping people and it is his food. So, I haven’t come up with anything lately and didn’t feel like story telling in months, and Zofijka wants her story, but I kinda don’t want to have to do it.

My Dad has guests right now – our family – I think I need to go to them at least for a while just to say hi or something, but I definitely don’t want it. It’s not that I don’t like them as them, I can’t neither like them nor don’t like, I just don’t feel up to it at all at the moment, and, in case I hadn’t mentioned that earlier, I hate socialising. 😀

I know I need to eat something, and that’s another reason I practically should go downstairs, but I feel quite a lot of anxiety since like… last night I guess, don’t know why, and when I’m anxious I don’t really want to eat. I just know I should rationally as the last thing I’d eaten was lunch, which was very yummy, my Mum made a very yummy soup, though, due to my anxiety, I wasn’t really able to enjoy it fully.

I need to have my blog private and control the situation and don’t let my obsessive friends make me freak out, but I kinda don’t want it, I’d like to be able to stay public and interact with people normally and be safe, not need to hide and care what others will do or think.

I want a new laptop, well my current one has been fixed about a month ago, but it could be nice if I had a new one.

I want Misha to be with me, but he’s downstairs now and I don’t need him practically.

I want to go horse riding, I couldn’t this week, but right now in this very moment I guess I don’t need it, and it would be hard to achieve. 😀

I want some new gem stones to my collection, but I definitely don’t need them.

I want to have a long, hot bubble bath but I don’t need it, and I am afraid my skin wouldn’t be too grateful.

I want my anxiety and low mood to go away, but I can still manage, I guess lots of people have it worse, so, well, I guess I don’t need it.

I want to be able to speak all my languages, but I don’t need it.

I want to win the lottery, but I don’t need it.

Well I think there could be many more things I need but don’t want or want but don’t need, but that’s all I am able to come up with right now.

You? 🙂

Question of the day.

In how many languages can you say thanks?

My answer:

Well I may be good at languages, but definitely not at counting and find it pretty unimportant and timewasting, so I think I’ll just tell you in which, and you can count if you wish. 😀

I guess more than I can actually speak.

First my favourite languages, I know how to say thanks in all of them even though I can only speak Polish, English, Swedish and Welsh.

Polish – dzięki, or dziękuję if you want to say thank you and be more formal.

English – thanks.

Swedish – tack.

Welsh – diolch.

Finnish – kiitos, or actually kiiti or kiitoksia, kiitos is more formal than thanks.

Dutch – dank je.

Irish – Go raibh maith agat.

Scots – thank ye, though I’m not sure if it’s actually used in this form as I have never heard anyone saying this in Scots.

Scottish Gaelic – Tapadh leat.

Manx – Gura mie ayd, apparently.

Cornish – Meur ras.

Frisian – tankje.

North Sami – giitu.

Faroese, – takk fyri, takk is also Norwegian and Icelandic, though Norwegian and Icelandic aren’t among my very very favourite ones, though I like them.

And then there are other languages that I most probably won’t ever learn, but know how to say thanks in them.

Danish – tak, well very similar to Swedish so easy to figure out.

Chinese – 谢谢, I had to find the spelling online as I don’t have neither Chinese keyboard nor the slightest idea about Chinese alphabet, but I’ve learned it at school and know how it should sound, haha.

Czech – Dík, know it from my Dad, and heard a lot when we were in Czech.

Russian – Спасибо, from my Mum.

Slovak – Vďaka, again heard it from my Dad.

German – danke, I was learning German at school.

Lithuanian – Ačiū, my Grandad taught me.

Swahili – Asante – I learned some Swahili when I was at school and my aunt’s acquaintance often visited me there, she was teaching me English, but she was also a missionary in Africa and she could speak a bit Swahili.

French – merci, well I guess everyone knows it.

Italian – grazie.

Spanish – gracias, also quite widely known and even if I wouldn’t know it earlier, Zofijka watches a lot of Argentinian series nowadays so it’s easy to figure out.

Wow that’s quite a lot actually, wouldn’t think it’s so many languages haha, it’s funny how some things just get sucked in by our brains. How about you? 🙂