Still without my laptop.

Hi guys! 🙂
So yeah it’s just as in the title, and it doesn’t seem like I’m going to get it fixed very soon. It looks like it’s more an issue with the sound in general than with the screen-reader, and yesterday I called the IT specialist to ask him to look at it again, and I told him roughly what’s going on. He said he can’t come earlier than tomorrow 6 PM but even he agreed with me that it looks pretty bizarre, so I don’t expect it to be fixed right away as neither me nor him have any idea about what’s causing it at the moment.
So as you can imagine I’m pretty bored already, though luckily I have tons of books and still have some of my music, a lot of music actually, but not my entire collection, on my PlexTalk, and of course what’s the most important I have Misha, who really helps me when he’s around because mentallyI feel rather crappy, havinglots of memories and weird dreams because of September coming very soon and in this situation I’m in now it’s hard to distract, plus feeling ratherisolated doesn’t help even though in most cases I find my own company to be just enough.
Our two little cousins are here with Zofijka and Mum’s going with them to the amusement park soon. Yuck! Anyone else hating amusement parks? I hate them fiercely, probably just because of my screwed k_p labyrinthum and that I was forced to go there at school at some special occasionsbecause it’s “fun”. 😀 Though I am happy they’re having fun, Zofijka loves amusement parks and she doesn’t seem to be as lucky as I was and it’s rare for her to be able to goto them often.
Misha wants to say he had a breathtaking adventure yesterday, being able to hang out with the magpies through the window. Mum says he’s poor, because they clearly laughed at him and looked like they screamed at him to go away, but he doesn’t think he’s poor, he wasn’t afraid of them and didn’t care about them making fun of him, he was happy to have some other beings than humansto interact with, and seemed very agitated because of that, but s also very brave and courageous, and if you openedthewindow,I’m really not sure whether it would be Misha who’d run away first. He still seems to be a little agitated and often looks at the window as if he wanted them to come back.
Yesterday I finally got my packet of treats from that online shop I told you about in the last Music Monday Care & Love. I waited for it about a week so much longer than the last time I was buying snacks and sweets at their shop, but never mind. The Jalapeno Pepper Jack Lay’s are way too addictive, yesterday just me and Zofijka, with a really little help from our cousins, ate one pack of them. That led us tothe conclusion that if we livedin the US we’d eat “the Jack chips” for every meal. 😀 Don’t think I’d really want it and I wouldn’t like to see how fat we’d be then, but hey, everyone can dream and not have to fear it may ever come true, right? 😀
And on Sunday we all also had lots of delicious food, way more healthy. We went to the pizzeria nearby, it’s a pizzeria but you can eat much more there than just pizzas and related stuff, it’s pretty much like a restaurant and we really like it. And we had a big dinner, or actually a lunch, as it was rather early. I wasn’t crazy about the idea at first, I had very low BP and feeling a bit rubbish and I thought I’m anything but hungry, but finally I went too and I suddenly s very very hungry so that I even helped my Mum with her food, although I oftenstruggle to eat all of mine as they make really big dishes. We were all glad overall.
I’m sorryI haven’t been reading much of your blogs lately, that sucks, and I don’tknow whether I’ll be catchingup on absolutely everything when I get my computer fixed as it’ll probably be a whole lot of posts, but I don’thave the access to my email from Braille-Sense, so I can’t be up to date with all of your blogs, but I hope I’ll be soon. 🙂
OK so that’d be all from me, hope you’re having a goodweek and more productive than mine haha.

Remembering… or how to tell your brain it’s over?

I’m remembering

a lot of stuff from the past lately. Lots and lots of memories which I try to ignore, and sometimes I succeed, sometimes not. So I thought maybe writing about it would help, if ignoring doesn’t work out too well. Those memories are mostly related to the beginning of the school year, which used to be an absolute nightmare for over a decade.

I see people from my family and others buying their kids things for school, I hear my Mum talking how she’s afraid of the next schol year for Zofijka, I notice time flying so quickly and September approaching, and each time I see any signs of the school year coming, I have to remind my brain, it’s not you now, it’s over. But it doesn’t listen for too long, and soon I get overflooded by another wave of memories.

I remember all those days and nights before I”d go back to the boarding school when I cut myself ’cause my pain and helplessness were too bad. I remember not being able to eat and sleep because of the anxiety. I remember the feelings of utter loneliness and not belonging anywhere, along with many other overwhelming feelings with which I couldn’t cope, but finally I always had to cope somehow, so I just bottled them up, feeling them rising inside of me with every second. I remember feeling very unsafe and rebelled that I had to leave everything that felt nice, familiar, everything and everyone that I loved, and how desperate I was to not do it. I felt guilty and weak because even though the situation was the same and obvious for so many years, that there was no alternative for me, I still couldn’t adjust to it. Well in a way I did, but the adjustment was only hiding what I felt so it wouldn’t bother anyone else, because well how long can it take you to accept something so obvious and inevitable that if you have special needs and need special education, you need to go to school where they can adjust things to you, and there aren’t many of such so most children have to be away from their families. For me that was an issue, and it looked like it was wrong.

Those feelings always accompanied me when I had to leave home and go to the boarding school, but when the school year was starting, they were particularly intense. Because the school year always meant changes. Changes that could often regard me more or less, but even if they were directly to do with me, it wasn’t a norm that I, or even any of my parents, were asked about our opinion, whether we agree on them or not, whether they’re acceptable. That was normal there. If you had a friend, who was also your roommate, with whom you lived for years, you got to know very well, you should be aware that when you come back to school next year, you may suddenly be informed that you two will no longer live together because… just because. And you could not only be moved to another room, but also to a completely different group. THis exact situation didn’t happen to me, only because I didn’t have real friends there, but it did to one of my classmates and she was just told to get over it, because it was necessary and such situations happen in life so she has to get used to it. I though changed my roommates very often too, and it was often very tough. And many other changes could await you there, hardly, if ever, nice.

So yeah, I was just sick of anxiety every year before the start of school year, and afterwards too.

But it’s now four years since I got out of there, and I am so happy about it, yet each time it’s close to September, my brain goes mad. Even this year, when I’m completely free of that freaky brain washing machine called education system. I even had a pretty yucky dream last night, I haven’t have this kind of memory dreams in a while, but that one was yucky and it took me quite a while to get back to the present after I woke up. Those dreams aren’t particularly scary, like creepy or something, but are just kinda made of my crappy memories so reliving them over and over definitely isn’t nice aND I wake up feeling nausious and stressed out.

As I wrote earlier today in Music Monday Care & Love post, I am trying to fill this week with various self care activities and other enjoyable things, and that helps me to stay in the present and focus on the positive, and there is much positive stuff going on in my life. Plus it helps me to not slip down again to that self-loathing hole, which is always very easy when I’m having memories. But it doesn’t stop my brain from going back to the past, often at least expected moments.

So I wonder, how do you make your brain know it’s over? It seems all so complicated.

 

The purring symphony.

Curled up together, we silently lie

me, and him – Misha, the sweet child of mine

I can hear the beating of his feline heart

knowing that no one could tear us apart.

I breathe in  his smell, listen to his sounds

his delicate paws, his head, small and round.

My hand on his chest, I feel how he breathes

What do you dream of, in your peaceful sleep?

his purring – a comforting

symphony

Puts me to sleep, with its sweet harmonies.

When the day comes, I wake up calm and free

And that’s how we live, my Misha and me.

MY SIGHTED GUIDE FOR BLIND INTERACTIONS

A fantastic post from Anel, and so very relatable for me and I think any other blind person. How great it would be if all the sighted people would read it…

Sightlessmusings.wordpress.com

In the greater scheme of things, I am a “roll with the punches” kind of person and you really have to go the extra mile to seriously rain on my parade… I am used to life not going as planned… Let’s face it, who really factored blindness into the equation when plotting the course of their lives? So when it comes to ignorance, stereotyping, insensitive comments and being treated like I have a contagious disease, I am able to shrug it off without too much of a fuss. People are who they are and it will take more than one blind girl asking for change to actually get them to see the light.

However, in both the sighted and blind communities, there are things that drive me insane and make me wonder whether I have ever really been comfortable with the “smile and wave” approach, or do I just convince…

View original post 655 more words

Hannah Grace – “Oh River”.

Hi people! 🙂

I realised that I’ve been showing you loads and loads of great Welsh-language music since this blog started to exist, for quite a few reasons, of which you probably are more or less aware if you’re here with me for a while, and it’s great, because there’s even more great Welsh-language music, the stuff that I know and that I haven’t yet discovered, but at the same time I realised that in comparison to how much Welsh-language music I’ve shared with you, I’ve shared just only a very small amount of Welsh music in English. Probably because I myself don’t listen to it as often as I do to Welsh-language stuff, I don’t know about very many Welsh artists that make their music solely in English and that I would like, there are just a couple.

So here’s the song for today, from Hannah Grace, who is originally from Bridgend. I think she has a really powerful vice, and this single is just beautiful.

She sings it so well and it has very interesting harmonies, but also the lyrics are no less powerful and make you think. I love this piece for all this and I hope you will too.

Feeling like a lonely leaf…

Hhrrru?

It’s Misha Pisha. How are you doing pets and peeps? Hope everyone is feeling good.

I’ve slept through all the day yesterday, and most of today. Mum and Mila went out somewhere earlier today, and I was at home only with Olek, but he was in his room watching TV and didn’t care about me at all, he never does. And I was feeling lonely. Lonely as a leaf. I always say I’m lonely as a leaf when I feel lonely. And then Zofijka laughs and says leaves aren’t lonely because they’re together on a branch, or when they fall they are in a pile. But sometimes tey are lonely. Sometimes when it’s autumn one leaf is left on the branch while all the other have just fallen. And I bet he’s feeling lonely and cold without other leaves to keep him company. And even if there are no leaves on a tree, they aren’t always all in the pile. Sometimes it’s windy and the wind can blow one leaf away from the rest and leave him some place when he’s alone. Or with other pile of leaves that he doesn’t know, but that’s another story, luckily I didn’t have to ever change my pile of leaves, well, only once, when I was very small and was taken away from my cat Mummy, but I don’t remember it almost at all now. But I sometimes have those days when I feel lonely as a leaf. Even if people say my comparison is stupid, I don’t think it is. Do you know what idiom is there in the Polish language to say someone is lonely? Lonely as a finger! Does that make sense? No! Neither for peeps, nor even for cats! So why can’t I feel lonely as a leaf, if someone might feel lonely as a finger?!

For those of you who don’t read my Mishposts from the beginning of this blog, you probably are confused as for how can I talk to people and you probably think I’m just making it up. I’m not. Or, well, just kind of… We have a game with Mila and Zofijka, that I can talk. Mila made it up and Zofijka seems to believe that I can really talk even though she’s 11 already. But I think she wants to believe in it. I just need to connect to someone’s brain with mine, and I just talk via this person, and it works a bit like a phone connection, we can connect and disconnect whenever we want and I just talk. Usually I connect to Mila because it is usually Zofijka who wants to talk to me, or we three talk together sometimes, so, ya know, she doesn’t want to seem that she is talking to herself, she doesn’t want to seem crazy, and she says that when I am connected to her I’m talking bullshit. They both like to talk to me though, particularly in the evenings.

Anyway, I felt lonely as a leaf so I was hanging around the house on my own and crying. But no one even heard me so then I went upstairs and to Mum’s wardrobe and lied there and fell asleep for a while, and I dreamt about leaves being blown away each in different direction and not being able to find each other and I was also a flying leaf in this dream. Finally though I heard some bustle downstairs so it meant they’re back. Mum found me soon and I had lunch and then went upstairs to Mila’s room and we were snuggling and I got a lot of snacks and was purring. Then I climbed up on the wardrobe in her room and slept there for a while and I think I’ll go back there after I write this.

Sleepy Mishpurrs from

Misha


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Gwilym – Cysgod (Shadow).

Hi guys. 🙂

Sme time ago I’ve showed you a few songs from the Welsh-language band called Gwilym. Well actually those were all of their songs as they’re quite a new band. But, as they are showing, a very dynamic one, because all the time there’s something new from them, and they get a lot of attention on the Welsh language music scene. So far, I like all their songs, so I follow all the new stuff they’re doing.

And here’s a brand new song from them, I really like it, and I hope you will too. 🙂

Another round of This Or That, still with girl names.

OK, so because as I mentioned today, we have a holiday in Poland, let’s have some fun with the new round of this or that I’ve just made up, as always, if you’re willing to participate, just leave me your choices in the comments, and feel free to add your opinions on names if you feel like it, you can also make a response to this post on your own blog if you wish so, and you’ll find my answers and opinions after the list of names.

Ailbhe or Alleyne?

Aine or Aoife?

Alva or Ava?

Amie or Jami?

Ann or Anne?

Beth or Bobbi?

Camille or Catharine? Catherine or Christina?

Cathy or Christie?

Chantal or Shantel?

Chelsea or Amelia?

Christel or Evelyn?

Dagny or Dagmar?

Elaine or Elsie?

Eva or Edna?

Hannah or Harper?

Hattie or Nettie?

Heather or Holly?

Helene or Elvira?

Hilde or Hilma?

Hildur or Hermine?

Hope or Honey?

Ingrid or Sigrid? Lleucu or Leeah?

Marte or Milzie?

Molly or Kelly?

Nia or Nyah?

Sally or Polly?

Tiana or Tiara?

My choices:

Ailbhe or Alleyne?

Ailbhe. It’s pronounced like Alva. It’s certainly ot one of my favourite Irish names, but I just prefer it over Alleyne, as for Alleyne I actually think it’s pretty masculine-sounding.

Aine or Aoife?

Aoife.

Alva or Ava?

Alva, not a fan of either but I really dislike Ava.

Amie or Jami?

Both are cute, but I like Jamie for both genders, and the spelling Jami is nice too for a girl. Ann or Anne?

Anne sounds moe elegant and complete.

Beth or Bobbi?

Beth, Bobi was my dog’s name, I don’t think about it as a serious name for a child, or maybe it can be OK for a child, but not so much for an adult person in all kinds of circumstances and life situations.

Camille or Catharine?

I love love love Camille.

Catherine or Christina?

Catherine.

Cathy or Christie?

Cathy, though both are nice as nicknames.

Chantal or Shantel?

Shantel, but not very enthusiastically.
Chelsea or Amelia?

Um, both are lovely but also have their downsides to me… I guess Amelia, it’s more classy.

Christel or Evelyn?

I love both, but Evelyn much more.

Dagny or Dagmar?

Dagmar, but not a big fan of either.

Elaine or Elsie?

Elaine, because of Celtic and Arthurian connotations, though ELsie’s cute.

Eva or Edna?

Uh, I guess Edna, but I dislike both.
Hannah or Harper?

Harper, because of the harp.

Hattie or Nettie?

Both are cute, but I much prefer Hattie.

Heather or Holly?

Holly.

Helene or Elvira?

I guess Helene, but I love both so it’s a hard choice.

Hilde or Hilma?

Hilma. That Finnish charm.

Hildur or Hermine?

I love Hermine. Would prefer Herminia, but Hermine’s awesome too.

Hope or Honey?

Hope.
Ingrid or Sigrid?
Hm, I can’t say I love them, but I like them both a lot because of lots of great Nordic associations, and they’re certainly beautiful. I guess I like Sigrid slightly more. Lleucu or Leeah?

Lleucu, yeah, I know it’s tricky, it’s a Welsh name, the ll at the beginning is a bit lispy, it sounds a bit like hl, or at least that’s how it’s usually described phonetically in English. And u sounds similarly to ee, so it’s like HLAY-kee, but it’s a very rough description, you’d just have to hear it. As for Leeah, I am not a big fan of Leah (with one e), with two ee’s it looks kinda more whimsical to me, even though I’m generally not a fun of such spelling creativity, so I like Leeah a bit more than Leah, but still, Lleucu’s better. Oh and I forgot to add that Lleucu is a form of Lucy. Doesn’t look (and definitely doesn’t sound) like Lucy, does it?

Marte or Milzie?

I must admit I haven’t heard of Milzie at all before preparing this list, I was using a few different list as an inspiration and got the names of very different places. I couldn’t find where it derives from, but I just love it. I certainly wouldn’t use it for a child in any circumstances, but it is such a playful nickname, and from now on, definitely a guilty pleasure name of mine. I like to think about it as a fanciful nickname for Melissa or names like Amelia, Camilla, Emily, Matilda, or Emilia. Yeah, I wouldn’t mind to be called Milzie at times hahaha. Marte is very dynamic, youthful and energetic and ages well, but also suits a little girl, but it’s not much my style.

Molly or Kelly?

I love Kelly.

Nia or Nyah?

For those of you who are confused, Nia is pronounced NEE-ah. I prefer Nia. A lot.

Sally or Polly?

I guess Sally, but both are nice and vintage.

Tiana or Tiara?

Neither is my style, I guess Tiana’s a bit more usable. Tiara sounds actually very weird for me as a name. Which of these would you choose? 🙂


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Music Monday Care & Love – Elaine Mai – Enniscrone.

Hi lovely people. 🙂

A bit late this week, I’m taking part in Bee’s

Music Monday Care & Love.

As a self care suggestion, this week Bee invites us to start a journal, or generally focus on journaling, which I find awesome, because I find writing a fabulous way of caring for myself.

I’ve been writing my diary for years and years, in very different formats, depending on circumstances. Right now I’m having a big folder with a collection of files written in Word, and that’s my diary at the moment. Also I tend to write some journaling posts on my blog which I also love and find very helpful, and I am so happy I have this blog.

If you’re interested in journaling, or plan to start your own journal and need some suggestions, I greatly recommend Bee’s post to you, it’s great and it shows that writing yourself out is really a good and beneficial self care idea.

What I found quite inspiring of what Bee wrote about, are Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages. While it isn’t manageable for me to write my journal by hand obviously, I find the idea of stream of consciousness writing very good and helpful, and I think I’ll incorporate it into my writing, because so far, although I am pretty spontaneus in writing, I’ve always tended to filter my thoughts more or less. I think if I started to use stream of consciousness writing, it’d help me more to clear my mind of things easier. It sounds a bit hard to achieve to do journaling as a first thing in the morning, I don’t think I’d be ever able to do it, firstly because morning is part of the day when I’m most busy and secondly because I just find writing in the evening more suitable for me, and I am a night owl, so writing 3-4 pages is not an issue for me in the evening, while it can be in the morning sometimes.

So I’m gonna go deeper into journaling this week, focus at it more. I’ve ben planning since quite a while to start some new sections in it, so that it looks more journal-like, and not too chaotic, and so I think this week is the best time for it. And I’m going to try how the stream of consciousness writing will go, I’m very curious.

I’m really looking forward to all that, because I love writing, and I hope that this week I’ll be able to make my journaling even better, even though I think I can already now be proud of my diary, my consistency with it, and my writing.

As for the music, the Bee suggests that we share a song that describes our lives.

Now there are so many songs I can relate to, more, or less, or a lot. But it was hard for me to come up with something that would describe my life as a whole. The song that describes a huge part of my life is “Evacuee” by Enya, but, first, I shared it at the very beginnings of my blog so I don’t want to be boring and repetitive while there is so much other music out there to explore, and second, that was mostly a negative experience (even if the song is utterly beautiful) and why focus only on negatives.

Instead, I decided to perhaps go on an easy way a bit, and use the song I’ve planned earlier to share with you today. Or actually, it is a track. So there are no lyrics, but I still feel that in a way it does describe my life. A tiny little part of it – this day. When I was at school, I used to have music therapy, where we often interpreted various pieces of music in lots of interesting ways, for example, to what kind of activity they are most suitable, in what surroundings they would sound the best, what is the sort of “personality” of a certain song, etc. etc. etc. The song which I want to show you today was released a couple of years ago, and in Autumn, but if I had to interpret it and say what it fits, I’d say for me it is filled with summer chill and serenity, and is so pleasantly hazy. And my day today feels just like it. It’s a holiday in Poland today, we’re having a barbecue in a couple minutes, just the five of us, so chances are it could be fun, we’re all home and are chilled out, and I feel pretty stable overall. The only thing that doesn’t fit in is the rain, this song definitely sounds like a sunny day.

But anyway, I think it’s very nice, and that’s what counts, I think. 😀

It is a track from Elaine Mai, who is a Dublin-based electro musician. I’ve heard this song in an Irish-language radio station for the first time, and I liked it a lot, and then I saw it i my Spotify, and I think it really knows what I like, even though my tastes are so eclectic and picky at the same time.

The title of the track is “Enniscrone”. It didn’t ring a bell in my mind, I couldn’t figure out what could it be, so I asked my good and wise friend Google if he maybe knows what it means, and he did. Apparently Enniscrone is a seaside town in country Sligo in Ireland. With sandy beaches and such. So another thing to the picture of a chillaxed, holiday afternoon – the seaside. 😀 Makes for a very chill combo in my opinion.

OK, so there you have it. And as always, I strongly recommend Music Monday Care & Love for you to take part in, it’s great, music and self care is a great combination and can really make you feel better if you start your week with it, or even if you jump in in the middle of it as I did, music and self care are always good things, if used in appropriate amounts.

Share Your World.

Share Your World At Cee’s.

 

Again, this week, after a bit of a break, I’m participating in Share Your World.

 

A class you wish you would have taken?

I wish I could take classes from all my languages. I don’t mean at college or anything, just some sort of good courses, that could be relevant to me and accessible to me as a blind person, whether online or somewhere in my area, I don’t care if individual or in a group. I am mentioning this because as much as it isn’t particularly difficult to find an accesible course online in such languages like English, Swedish, Dutch, or even Finnish if you’ll try a bit more, with the rest of my favourites you have to really try hard, be patient and inquiring, and very determined, to actually find something. I find it an absolute miracle that I’ve found that Welsh course I’m doing right now, that it is so accessible, simple and effective and with such a supportive community, and moreover, that the same people also created courses in Cornish, Manx and Dutch, so that I don’t have to look for another place, also I’ve had great friends from Wales outside from that community who helped me a lot particularly at the very beginnings. But if you think of another favourite languages of mine, like Faroese, Sami, or Frisian, or Scottish Gaelic, or Scots or Shetlandic, or Irish… uhhhh things get tougher. The consolation may be that many of the languages I love are more or less related, so maybe it won’t all be that scary, I wouldn’t like to give up just because something isn’t accessible online. So yeah, I just try to not think about that right now, maybe until I’ll start to learn them I’ll find some good place for myself, or someone eager to help with those extremely rare, extincting languages. But other than languages, I’d love to learn about Celtic and Nordic cultures, and I’d love to take classes in playing Celtic harp. And if I were sighted, I’d want to be a neurosurgeon, so anything on that topic too.

Are you scared of heights?

Yes. I used to be very very very like VERY scared of heights, now it lessened kinda on its own so it’s easier, but I still am.

Are you a good cook? If so, do you consider yourself a chef?

Absolutely not. My cooking always ends up with a catastrophe. You rather don’t trust me with it. Last time I tried to magnanimously help my Mum make a big family dinner earlier this year, I ended up with two fingers bleeding quite massively, I mean maybe not really bad, but bad enough that you wouldn’t think I’ve just grated them accidentally instead of vegs. I have a rich history of similar and worse cases from the times when I was at the boarding school.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Misha, writing, blogging, progress in my languages. Good session with the therapist, and that we got along and have similar opinions on me changing therapists. That I translated my previous music crush’s another poem, I’m still over the moon about that. That I had a beautiful dream the other night involving my current music crush. (God, my crushes, what I’d be without them) That we had a cool day on the beach with Mum and Zofijka. And that I’m doing fairly well emotionally and that my anxiety has lessened a bit more since that dreadful nightmare I had.

 

Friendly Fill-ins.

I’m participating in Friendly Fill-ins, hosted by

15 And Meowing

and

Four-Legged Furballs.

Here are the fill-ins:

1. I have faith in ________________ God.
2. Yesterday, I ____________________ had a long, warm bath with jasmine oil. I haven’t had one in ages, I try to avoid baths because of my skin which decided to suddenly become hypersensitive to almost everything last winter and is always very dry and itchy after too much water. But this time everything is OK and that’s great.
3. My favorite place to be is _________ my room.
4. If I was granted one wish, it would be _________ for Misha to be happy every second in his entire life.

 

Ida Maria – Fy Faen (Oh Shit).

Hi guys. 🙂

TOday I have a song for you sung by a fellow synaesthete. Ida Maria sees music in colours, or so says English Wikipedia, and one of the interviews with her. I think that’s pretty cool. Ida Maria is from Norway, she actually makes kinda punk music, but this song is a bit different. It is a cover of a song made by Hkeem, it’s title is “Fy Faen”, which you can translate as oh shit or oh damn, damn it, oh hell, anythig you fancy, faen is quite a flexible word I believe. The Scandinavian have a lot of hell-related words and this is one of them, I don’t know actually whether faen means devil or hell, but something like this. I’ve found the lyrics to this song, so I post them below.

   Because we live to die
Until we melt away like snow
And they are looking for mistakes
But I flip my fingers
To make my way
When everybody asks you to stop
Forget it and focus and work
Because jealousy, it burns
Though many bridges gotta burn
So not all are friends
Oh shit, oh, oh shit
They are all snakes, so it is totally normal
Oh shit, oh, oh shit
Nobody here has time for an unsuccessful day
Oh shit, oh, oh shit
These days everybody is giving me headache
Oh shit, oh, oh shit
This is the message through my song
This is the message through my song
This is the message through my song
Some talk a lot
A lot behind my back
Talk a lot on the phone
Still on it and they squander their life
A change has to happen
Know it’s a cliché
This is not a movie
So sit down and listen while I do my thing
Oh shit, oh, oh shit
Many of my boys have started to hustle these days
Oh shit, oh, oh shit
Snakes come and go like a boomerang
Oh shit, oh, oh shit
Gonna show everyone, because I have a plan
Oh shit, oh, oh shit
This is the message through my song
This is the message through my song
This is the message through my song
I will show my enemies
While they’re partying and drinking hennessy
I have only day ones, no frenemies
Working 24/7, you know we’re balling
Making the music they play when we score
Gonna shoot the golden bird, you know it’s over
Too slow out, know that you sleep
Oh shit, oh, oh shit
Many of my boys have started to hustle these days
Oh shit, oh, oh shit
Nobody here has time for an unsuccessful day
Oh shit, oh, oh shit
Gonna show everyone, because I have a plan
Oh shit, oh, oh shit
This is the message through my song
This is the message through my song
This is the message through my song

And yet another sleepy week.

Hhrrru?

How are you all pets and peeps doing? It’s Misha, in case you forgot what’s my name, it’s very difficult after all. I find my memory very short now in this heat. I can’t even remember my dreams… Or maybe I don’t have any… ‘Cause other than dreams there isn’t much to remember if I’m honest. I’ve been mostly sleeping lately, or eating, or drinking, yeah I’m drinking quite a lot. Zofijka came back on Tuesday, that was some change, I at least motivated myself to play with her for a while but then I got back to sleep. I’m a bit worried my peeps are doing it on purpose. Heating up the house so much, so that it makes me sleepy, or maybe they give me some sleeping pills in my food, so that I am calm and don’t wanna go out? DO you think it’s possible? I think it is, they like it when I sleep. But I don’t let them to be satisfied, I have my own views on things too! I know that they like when I sleep because then they can cuddle me or do whatever they want with me. So I always go away from them so that they can’t see me. I climb up somewhere high, or lie in a wardrobe, or something like this, and no one knows where I am. So at least I have some peace of mind. Today in the morning, when I woke up from my night sleep and went downstairs to eat something, Zofijka asked me if I wanted a brother or a sister and which I’d like more. I told her I’d rather want a brother, but a sister could be nice too, if she’d like to play with me and do what I wanted her to. Zofijka says she will get a dog. That would be fabulous for me, if he/she lived in the house with me, but it probably wouldn’t be so. And besides, Zofijka just says what she wants to be true, I already know this. She’s always wanted to have a dog, a girl, with whom she could play and go for walks and such. But Mum sometimes says she wants a dog too, and then she says she doesn’t, and then she says she wants another cat, and then that she hates even me and she’s fed up with me. So I think it would be silly to listen to the peeps, they never know what they want. Mum is sick, she’s having something with her ears, and when I’m not asleep she’s constantly mad at me, well not at me, at her ears, but she thinks it’s me. But I’m not mad at her, I don’t care, it’s even a bit funny. Why do they think I’d care about their mod or what they think about me? Weird, really.

OK, off to sleep again, I can’t keep my eyes open any longer. Sleep well pets and peeps.

Mishpurrs.

Misha


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Hywel Pitts – “Cân O’r Galon” (A Song From The Heart).

Hi. 🙂

I must admit that I don’t really understand the lyrics of this song, which is quite frustrating, given that I’m a Welsh learner since quite a while, and managing pretty decently as for my level usually, plus from what I was able to get out of the song, it sounds very interesting, and I would like to know what it’s exactly about. So that sucks a bit, but the song is still lovely, even though I understand only some phrases, a few sentences

and a lot of single words out of context.

I don’t know much about Hywel Pitts either, other than he’s from North Wales, which is very easy to guess from his accent, and that he’s a vocalist in a Welsh band called I Fight Lions, which I really like and which seems to be a new band, getting a lot of attention in its musical environment. I got the song out of the compillation of songs of various artists, and there are lots of interesting pieces, but this one is certainly one of my most favourites on it.

 

Sarah Riedel – Se Här Dansar Fredrik Åkare (Look Fredrik Åkare Is Dancing Here).

Hi. 🙂

Do you know, lovely people, what a nice holiday we have today? Ha! You surely don’t know. Unless you’re Swedish, or a freak like me, or maybe if you’re Dutch, or maybe, maybe if you’re from any Scandinavian country other than Sweden, perhaps you may know too. So I’m here to enlighten you!

Today, 8th August, is my previous crush’s – Cornelis Vreeswijk – birthday. But because as you probably already know, when I move on from one music crush to the next, I don’t leave the previous one, it only sort of fades, being dominated by a new crush, therefore technically you can say I’m still somewhat crushing on him. And, if by any chance you, my reader, are Swedish, I know it may be slightly or not so slightly weird to you, the more that he’s passed away quite a while before I was born, but… what can I do about it? Assuming that I’d really want to do something with it, but honestly I don’t.

So yeah, Cornelis would be 81 if he’d still be between us. I  hope he’s having a great birthday wherever he is now…

You’d think that if it’s his birthday, and I happen to be so fascinated by his music and poetry that I even want to try to translate it to Polish, then I should choose a song of the day by him, but I decided to do it a bit differently this time.

You see, despite Vreeswijk was Dutch, he’s been actually more known in Sweden than Netherlands, because he and his family emigrated there when he was 12. And he seems to be very liked there. Or anyway, very famous. I guess he’s to controversial to be very liked, people there seem to either love him or hate him.

And if you’re a famous musician, especially if you’ve left this mundane world, you can expect many other, famous and not famous, and maybe even infamous, musicians to be inspired by your music in any way. And so is also with Cornelis.

There are a lot of Swedish artists covering his songs, or who are inspired with his style, making tribute songs, or trying to caricature his style or something.

A few years ago, when I started to explore Spotify, I also started to explore all kinds of covers of his songs, beautiful and cringy ones, and I’ve found a few that are still my huge favourites.

Including an album, called “Cornelis vs. Riedel”. It’s pretty jazzy, I’m not very big on jazz, but because of Vreeswijk I’ve got a very tiny little bit more liking and understanding of it, as it’s one of the genres he liked to incorporate in his music.

“Cornelis Vs. Riedel” is a compillation of Cornelis’s poems, with melodies composed by a Swedish jaz musician of Czechoslovakian descent – Georg Riedel, and sung by Sarah Riedel – Georg Riedel’s daughter – and Nikolai Dunger. With a few exceptions, these poems have never been sung by Cornelis, and the two ones that have been got completely new melodies from Riedel. With all his genius and versatility, I don’t think Vreeswijk had a particular talent for composing, so I found this very interesting.

And oh what I particularly love about this album is the expressivity, and all the emotions. I just love the vocalists for how they feel these lyrics, how they really involve in what they are singing about.

The song I want to show you is called “Se Här Dansar Fredrik Åkare”, very roughly translated Look Here Fredrik Åkare Is Dancing. Now who is this guy, Fredrik Åkare?

I must tell you, I wondered about it for quite a while since I got to know Cornelis’ music. He is often mentioned in his songs. I guess we need to just look at him as a fictional or half-fictional character, one of a few that we can meet in Cornelis’s songs and poems. However people say that his real life equivalent was Nisse Gustafsson – one of his sisters’ friend or boyfriend, or something like this. – Though I’ve also heard that Cornelis himself might be Fredrik Åkare, and I pretty much lean to it because it just looks like it could be him. Even in this song, for me it seems to be just about Cornelis.

Do you remember the song I once shared with you, also by Cornelis – “Balladen Om Herr Fredrik Åkare Och Den Söta Fröken Cecilia Lind” (The Ballad About MR Fredrik Åkare And The Sweet Miss Cecilia Lind)?

I look at this song I’m sharing with you today, as a sort of continuation to that one. Because in that song, as you might remember I wrote, there is a sort of party, people are dancing in the barn in the village, he – is meeting the nearly 17-year-old girl, much younger than himself, called Cecilia Lind, they fall in love with each other, are dancing together, people are indignant because it’s a shame that two people with such a difference in their age are dancing and lookk as they’re very cllose to each other, they say Cecilia’s too young for him. He accompanies her t her house and kisses her on their way home, and the story doesn’t have any speciffic or definite ending.

And then we have this song. We know that  the full moon is shining (why is there so much full moon in Vreeswijk’s lyrics? :O Swedes love sun, he seems to be much more inclined to the moon), just like at that rural party or whatever it was and however such things are called in English, and Fredrik is dancing on empty streets (so it’s the night time, right?) and we also get to know he’s dancing aimlessly and not going anywhere in particular. He is also tipsy and is hurting emotionally, or so I understand from the lyrics, though I’m not sure if that’s exact.

From  the second verse we also know he’s singing – about the stars, and about Cecilia Lind, and about all that he wants to forget and drown in a bottle of wine – pretty classic theme as for Vreeswijk.

Then the third verse is from the author’s perspective, saying that he has made a little song because then it’s easier to dance [when you have the music]. And that this song is about that you’ll never get what you want the most. And what you’ll get instead, you will be always disappointed with.

Reminds me strongly about Cornelis’ life, his struggles, and about what I know about his relationships with other people.

When I first heard this song, I actually cried – and as I told you a few times before it’s not that easy nowadays to move me this strongly, but I was very moved, also Sarah’s vocals themselves are very moving.

But what else spoke to me, was that in some more metaphorical way I felt like it’s also about me. I’ve told you before that paradoxically I feel like in some aspects my personality is pretty similar to Cornelis’, and that’s maybe why I like him and understand his music, and why it often speaks to me (excluding all the left-wing extremist ones, but even those are often quite true in a way 😀 ). I can’t find any other explanation, because objectively he’s not what I would call “my style”. OMG that’s all so weird! 😀

OK, so maybe, finally, after all that chit chat, time for the song? I guess so, I wrote way too much, but I wanted to give you some context, it’s stupid to listen to the song without its context if it’s deeper, and since there’s no language barrier here for me, if I can give you that context, then why not. Let me know what you think about it and how do you perceive it.

Unfortunately I’m forced to get the song from Spotify, I could’ve sworn I saw it like a year ago on Youtube, but now I can’t find it, so I don’t have much choice here.