Month: July 2018

Name Profile: Aamu

Wow, I was just scrolling through blogs and posts about names and saw this post and I just have to share it with you guys because I love aamu! Well I generally love Finnish names. Aamu is so lovely and cute. What do you think about it? 🙂 As for Aamu’s popularity elsewhere, I think in English-speaking countries it could gain some popularity. It definitely sounds foreign but, in my opinion, not too out there. Maybe it could be in a similar situation as Aaliyah seems to be – it’s foreign, it definitely sounds exotic to an English speaker as far as I know from people, but it’s known and it’s liked. So why not Aamu? What’s your opinion? 🙂

Onomastica

It’s a short, sweet nature name with a super-striking look and sound — and 2nd February just so happens to be the name day of this fashionable Finnish choice!

Today’s Name Profile focuses on airy Aamu.

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Friendly Fill-ins.

I am participating in this week’s Friendly Fill-ins, hosted by

15 And Meowing

and

Four-Legged Furballs.

 

 

  1. I deserve a gold star for _________________ doing my Welsh course despite the heat today.
  2. Right now, I am loving _____________. the fact that my anxiety is lessening noticeably.
  3. The best advice I’ve ever been given is _________. don’t adjust to others because you’re different from them and don’t fit in their box. DO them the favour and let them adjust to you, it will test their creativity and let them think more. That’s what my Swedish teacher said to me. It’s not always that easy as there are people in this world who don’t even know what creativity is and how to think and always want others to fit in their limited frameworks, just can’t realise there can be anything else outside of them, but it’s funny and I like this approach and use it when I can, however not in every case yet, I’m working on it. 😀
    1. If I had to choose a new first name, it would be _________. hm, I guess Eliza… Actually, I am lucky because I already could choose a new first name for myself and I am happy with it and it fits me, so I don’t have any other dream choice that I’d love, that would fit me and be realistic and not troublesome, but when I wanted to change my name legally, along with Emilia I was considering Eliza. The reason why I didn’t choose it finally is that as much as I love it, I don’t feel it really fits my personality, there is a lot that fits but also a lot that doesn’t. and also my confirmation name already is Luiza, so even though you don’t use your confirmation name, I would feel rather weird as an Eliza Anna Luiza. 😀 Or maybe I could be Helena. In opposite to Eliza it could be a bit wishy-washy on me, I think, but I love the name itself. In an English-speaking country I would be a Jacqueline. Or maybe not. Maybe not a Jacqueline. I should be a Jill, so that when I finally meet my Jack, we’d be Jack and Jill. 😀 No I’m just kidding though, Jill is OK< but I wouldn’t like to be called Jill, I think.

 

Holly Brewer – “Wish I Loved You More”.

Hi. 🙂

Holly Brewer is from the UK, and was one of the contestants in Bbc Two’s You Decide, as a candidate to represent the country on the EUrovision Song Contest last year. She became known thanks to X Factor. I don’t know if she has made any more music so far, but I quite like this sog and think it’s cool.

If We Were Having Coffee… #WeekendCoffeeShare.

Weekend Coffee Share at Eclectic Alli’s.

 

Welcome to another coffee share. We’ve had some rain today so it’s cooler (a little bit), but still I’d rather recommend ice coffee than normal hot coffee.

If we were having coffee I’d ask everyone of you how you’re doing and what’s been going on for you…

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I’ve had a rather rough week, particularly last days of it, but I’ll get into it later on.

If we were having coffee I’d tell you it was my aunt’s 40th birthday on Monday. I supposed she’d be doing something massive as it would be quite her style but there was only a small, or relatively small, family gathering. I planned not to go and just phone her and wish her happy birthday, but eventually I decided to go because she wouldn’t answer. We aren’t really getting along too well with that aunt, despite she’s my God mother and it wasn’t always this way, I guess our personalities clash totally and in a way are too similar, but on the other hand we’re too different in other aspects at the same time. And there was a minor but quite nasty incident with her that regarded me which left me feeling quite unstable, but I got over it rather quickly since it’s rather about her issues than mine or anyone else’s.

If we were having coffee I’d tell you I’ve started some collaboration with Nameberry. Don’t know yet what if anything will come out of it long term, but as you could notice I wrote a guest post for their blog. It was a lot of fun and I feel quite excited about it, and proud of myself cause I think the post is really good.

The following few paragraphs may be a bit lengthy and might feel hard or perhaps potentially triggering for someone, so if you feel uncomfortable just skip them.

If we were having coffee I’d tell you I had an awful, absolutely shitty day on Thursday. I just thought my brain will explode with anxiety, even on my extra anxiety meds, it was just nuts. That night my Mum couldn’t sleep so she came to me – ’cause if anyone can’t sleep in this house it’s of course usually me so she usually comes to me when she can’t sleep and checks if I’m up too so we can share the pain haha. She took a mattress with her and said it’s very hot in her room and whether she could sleep in mine, so I agreed. There was my poor Braille-Sense charging and the light was flickering so I told her she can switch it off and she did. Then we both fell asleep and slept rather soundly. But at like 6 Braille-Sense couldn’t stand it any longer and woke us up that it wants to eat. It’s so old it literally can’t make it without a recharger, even when you don’t do anything to him, a total addict. So I jumped out of the bed to shut him up immediately. Unfortunately Mum woke up too and decided it’s time for her to get up. We chatted for a while and she went out, I still felt quite sleepy though so went back to bed. Despite sleepiness, I couldn’t fall asleep for like 15 minutes, maybe a bit more. Usually, when I wake up at night but still want to get back to sleep but the break is too long, like 30 minutes or longer, and I still can’t fall asleep, I don’t try anymore, because then I usually end up with sleep paralysis. But it was just like about 15 minutes and I definitely felt like I still could use some sleep. I guess my brain was in a rather malicious mood and it wouldn’t let me. Instead, I did fall into sleep paralysis. Sometimes it lasts longer, I can notice when I float away and with some physical and mental effort get away from there, but this time it all just happened so rapidly, plus like I said I felt sleepy so didn’t fully realise when my sleepiness turned out into floatiness and everything felt distant, gloomy. It was only when I felt that awful, huge wave of anxiety washing over me, actually filling in the atmosphere arund me, that I realised what’s going on, and it was way too late. My brain felt tired and floaty, my consciousness started to change in that weird way and my limbs felt heavy. I started to feel dizzy and slip down into the darkness with light speed, I actually never was falling so quickly before, or can’t remember.

I won’t go into details as for what happened next, I mean as for the exact content, because it’s incredibly hard to describe those, hm, “dreams”, first because it’s just all so abstractive, elusive, subjective, but also because it’s just too scary. Sometimes I feel I maybe should write about it in detail somewhere or talk to someone but it’s always too scary and way too hard to describe. But what I can tell you is that it was al full of anxiety, doom and gloom. I feel like maybe in other circumstances it wouldn’t be so scary, it’s mainly just the atmosphere of anxiety and inevitable danger around that makes it so horrifying, most of the anxiety provoking things are actually things I was very afraid of in childhood, now either not so much (in real life) or I just don’t have contact with these things anymore. These dreams are full of very anxiety provoking, aggressive sounds, don’t know if they’d sound so for everyone, but so are they for me, often with very intricate, gloomy harmonies. All those anxiety stimuli are actually weirdly personified, they’re all like real people, spirting with hatred towards me and doing everything in their might to make me feel more helpless.

Besides all those anxieties, there’s also often some plot in those dreams, often very chaotic and consisting of single, not related, scary events, although I’ve been having those dreams since very early childhood and at the beginning they were always very schematic and predictable.

I actually don’t know if it’s exactly sleep paralysis, because people who have sleep paralysis usually seem to have full consciousness, while in my case it’s like I’m half-conscious most of the time, and often things that happen in the outside world mix quite creepily with my dreams. Sometimes I am only aware that I am dreaming, or sometimes I have sort of two perspectives – one is inner where I only see what’s in my dreams, and another is where I only can see what’s on the outside, can hear the music, people talking, but obviously can’t interact or anything. Sometimes I know I am dreaming but I don’t know what’s going on on the outside and my brain makes up things that don’t happen, but are very, very, very realistic. Also, people with sleep paralysis often have a sensation that someone or something is literaly sitting on them, like they feel strong pressure which makes breathing harder. For me breathing in those dreams is often very difficult but I had this pressure only once, however I’ve had the motive of someone assailing me, knocking me off, wanting to harm me physically, not letting me move etc. But I too, like many people with this condition often feel some sense of someone’s presence before I fully fall into it and am having other sorts of delusions before it really starts. Besides those people with sleep paralysis I know of usually feel very frustrated with not being able to move, they are aware they can’t move, while I often am not aware that I can’t. I see myself doing different things in dreams, hear myself screaming, fighting with my dream “friends”, getting up, etc. while in fact nothing happens and I’m just lying. Sometimes it may be that I dream I am going to my Mum to help me, and then another creepy thing happens, making me realise I’m still at the very same dead point I was before and no one is going to help me except for myself. I dream I am turning on music on my Plextalk to get rid of the nasty sounds and the anxiety but of course since I can’t move my hands I don’t do it in reality, so either my Plextalk also is against me, or doesn’t work, or something creepy happens. Also some other things don’t look exactly like sleep paralysis but I don’t know what else it could be and still it’s incredibly similar to what I experience so that’s why I call it this way, since I didn’t know for years what it actually is, I just thought everyone’s nightmares look this way for a long time.

And what’s very characteristic to those dreams for me lately, and the most exhausting I guess, are false awakenings. I just hate them so much.

If you don’t know what a false awakening is, although I guess it’s pretty easy to guess, imagine that you sleep happily, or not happily, doesn’t matter, then you get up as every normal human being, do your morning routines, go out to work, or do whatever else, and out of the blue you realise you’ve been  in your bed all the time and it was just a dream. Incredibly realistic, with all the things you do during the day, just in the same order as you do them, with people saying normal things, the only abnormal thing being it was just a dream. And, if you’re particularly lucky and dreamy, then it can go over and over and over again. Wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast… back in bed…

And so it is often for me, only that if it happens during sleep paralysis, it occurs in a very scary form.

I scream, fight, run away, choke, fall down, rise up, do whatever to just survive, and then… boom! it’s as if you fell down from somewhere high on your bed. Oh, great, so I’m awake! Thanks Goodness, finally! Get up, get dressed, feed Misha, and suddenly… hmm, where did actually Misha disappear? he was right in front of me a second ago wasn’t he? But now it’s not Misha, but one of my dream “friends” right in front of me, laughing at me like crazy, everything is dizzy and I slip back right where I was before. Etc. etc. etc. in the same pattern.

But most often it’s like I am in there, in my dreams, and desperately want to get back to life, try to move, test whether everything around me is real or not, do anything to get rid of the floatiness in my brain and get closer to the real world. I often hear people calling me, like my Mum waking me up, even if it is not true, motivate myself to get up and… finally I manage. I am glad, but still the anxiety flows everywhere I feel floaty, and often even like I was still in some way paralysed, like I wouldn’t have much control over my moves or something. But I try to not care, or ignore it completely, usually in this situation I go to whoever is around to help me and make me feel safer, although I never do this when I really wake up. They often help me, are very compassionate, sometimes are cruel and turns out they’re collaborating with my dreammates, like when I was a kid I once dreamt that my Mum wanted to cut my foot because they forced her. 😀 Sometimes they don’t want to cooperate with them but have to, sometimes they’re very willing. Whatever happens though, finally I always slip back there, scared and disappointed, and confused as for what is real. Sometimes it is so that I may live my “normal” life for quite long and then finally realise that something doesn’t really look very realistic and that then it has to mean it is a dream, and then everything starts over with a lot of chaos. Usually then I see some creepy scenes not necessarily with me in one of the main roles, often as an observer. And then again I’m scared and want to wake up, gradually more and more confused as for what is real, am I sleeping or awake, what’s generally going on.

Often after that episode I’m exhausted and fall into very deep, heavy sleep, sometimes it’s completely dreamless and sometimes I have some disturbing bad or weird dreams, but rather mildly bad in comparison to the sleep paralysis. But despite it’s so heavy it’s rarely really good sleep.

When I finally wake up for good, I am usually very puzzled for a little while and obviously usually feel a lot of anxiety, but it usually passes away quickly. I mean, I can be anxious for quite a while, but not as much as when I wake up, when it can be really really high. I usually get over it quickly.

But the last time, that Thursday morning, it waas a hardcore. It lasted for like THREE HOURS, I fel like it was scarier than ever. I have very good dream memory, which is also a blessing in many circumstances, but when I woke up after all that and remembered what I dreamt about, it was hard to get over it and get some distance to it, just feeling relief that it was only a dream. When I wake up for real, after all those false awakenings, I always know well I’m awake and am no longer confused, but last time I started to wonder. What if I am still asleep? Deep down I knew it’s over, but what if not? What if some day I’ll wake up and just won’t be able to tell what’s real from what’s not? It scared me even more.

I went downstairs still feeling a bit floaty from the dream and very scared, tired as if I really was fighting with someone for three hours and unsettled. Mum was in the kitchen and said she couldn’t wait for me to come and that now I am surely well rested after so much sleep. She said she was in my room twice and I slept so heavily. I guess I could hear her once, or it was my imagination.

I usually try not to make too much drama around my dreams because I know there isn’t any universal cure for it and that it always distresses my Mum cause she doesn’t know what to do about it and feels helpless, but this time it was that little bit too much to bear for me. I felt shaky like jelly and couldn’t stop tears from falling so she was quite amazed what’s going on, and it took her a while to get it out of me because I was a real real mess. I took all my anxiety meds, I mean two pills of my basic one and one of the extra med, but I was still shaky, my head was hurting like a bitch, and I felt like a true drama queen because it was actually Mum’s nameday so the guests were about to come. Poor Zofijka was looking around puzzled askign everyone what happened and not getting any consistent answer. Finally I managed to take a long bath and then Mum sent me back to bed although I was really anxious as for that since I didn’t want to get trapped by my beautiful brain again.

I was so tired that I did fall asleep almost immediately but slept very soundly. Things have changed a little bit after I woke up, I mean outside, not so much inside, I was still in pieces and very hypervigilant and all. But felt good enough to get down to the guests for a while and keep a socially decent and logical conversation.

I got back to my room and then I realised the cold, hard truth… the Internet was off! That meant a really hard day for me. After those dreams I am always very sensitive as for silence and can’t stand it, same as some particular sounds. Most of my music was online. Most of things I could do at that moment to distract myself the best were online, particularly now as the guests were in. Smalltalk isn’t particularly stimulating nor distracting for me and I would rather feel bored, and I couldn’t ask my parents for any help as they were with them, and Zofijka was playing with other kids who came in. Misha always escapes when too many people are around, and usually to my room, but when they came I was asleep and my room was closed so he went somewhere else and I didn’t know where he was. So there weren’t many things I could do, I was mostly reading, and listening to music I had, helped Mum in the kitchen afterwards, but was still incredibly tense and overloaded. It was just so horrifying, I haven’t feel such extreme things for a long while before then.

The Internet hasn’t come back even at night, so again I was left to only my own resources, and night was twice as hard, even though sometime later on Misha had mercy on me and came to me. It was nightmare and I had a feeling I’m just going crazy and things won’t be as they were before anymore, that I’ll just always live with such high level of anxiety. Needless to say I didn’t even try to fall asleep, quite the opposite.

The next day it was slightly better though. And you know what turned out then? My brilliant Mum, when she slept in my room, she messed up with the router somehow while she was switching things off. And it only needed to be rebooted. It was funny but also frustrating because I really needed some distraction that day and Mum told me there is probably some more general damage like at our Internet provider or something, so I just accepted it and didn’t even try to fix it myself. 😀

I was still very anxious, but since I had many more productive things to do then, and some time has passed, it was much more manageable.

And so it is now. I still haven’t recovered fuly from that nasty episode, I feel. But I am a bit more stable and don’t freak out without Misha.

I wonder what was actually going on with those dreams. Was it just an accident it was so long and so rough, just a random thing, or is something changing and it is going to get worse? If so, I think I’ll really need to try hitting it with antidepressants, I once saw a neurologist for that and she said it sometimes works for people, but then I decided I will try to handle it with some better sleep hygiene and stuff. But if you have messed up sleep cycle by nature, regular sleeping and waking up and maintaining sleep hygiene isn’t always that easy, so I guess the time for antidepressants will finaly come sooner or later, even though I haven’t heard about people for whom it would be helpful. But it shouldn’t be harmful, so I guess I’ll try if it’s going to stay this way.

If we were having coffee I’d tel you today is my friend’s 1st death anniversary. Man I still can’t believe he’s dead. I never told you about that, I feel weird talking about his death still, not like I can’t accept it but like it’s just so weird to talk about him that he’s dead. I am talking about Jacek, that Jacek who was writing the novel about vikings. He was such a lively, energetic person, always full of ideas and so bubbly. But he got osteosarcoma and then there were some nasty metastases, it just progressed very quickly. I couldn’t get it for weeks that he was dead, and still my brain doesn’t fully get it I guess. I will maybe do some longer post in memory of him, because he was such a remarkable man, I need to think about this. He was only 25 when he died. And he told me he’s going to Valhalla. 🙂

And quite in the same topic, if we were having coffee I’d tell you that yesterday my friend wrote to me, with whom I haven’t have any contact since before Jacek has passed away. She is our mutual friend Jacek’s and mine. She is Swedish – Jacek had lots of friends in Sweden and Finland and I’ve met some interesting people via him – and this particular girl I met when we were all three collaborating on Jacek’s online radiostation, I was volunteeering as a sound engineer there and has learned a lot during that short episode, about broadcasting, vikings, not to mention sound engineering, and many other things. And that girl, Annika, she was one of the presenters and that’s how we met online. She is a Slavic languages freak and has been learning Polish and other Slavic languages since early childhood just as it’s been with my Swedish. ANyway. We were never very close because we just knew each other through Jacek, but I’ve always liked her, she’s really sweet and down to earth. We haven’t talked almost at all since Jacek’s death though, there just weren’t any occasion. And I was greatly surprised seeing a message from her. She wrote to me to say she’ll be getting married soon. With a Pole, haha. And I am very happy she shared it with me and that I could catch up on her, and that she seems to be in a happy and already quite long lasting relationship. And because it was so close to Jacek’s death anniversary we also talked about this in length. And seems like we both feel the same way about this, that we don’t quite believe it yet. I was really glad to be able to write with her for a while. And it’s so cool she’ll be living in Poland for good now.

If we were having coffee I’d tell you we went to the beach today. My parents, Zofijka, me, and uncle and aunt, from Dad’s side. But, turns out, we’re incredibly lucky. We’ve been having an incredibly hot week, but due to various things happening we couldn’t go to the beach earlier, so we just waited for Sunday to come. and, as soon as we came to the beach, the rain started falling. We were all wet and me and Zofijka were feeling very cold and now we both have sore throat, I hope we won’t be sick. 😀 Moreover, when we came home, got rid of all the mud we’ve brought in, showered and stuff, the clouds disappeared and it’s hot again, only more humid. Isn’t that a pure luck? 😀 Mum has some sort of ear infection, I actually was telling her not to go to the beach with it as it could only get worse, and it looks like it did get worse, she’s barely hearing on that ear. She tried using geranium for it and other home remedies, but looks like our lifestyle guru will have to see a laryngologist, probably tomorrow.

And if we were having coffee I’d tell you that Mum went to a coeliac disease specialist last Wednesday, but it looks like her referral didn’t get through to them. So now she’ll go to another one that can see her much quicker, on Tuesday, and without a referral. So she’ll have a real health week. But I hope the news she’ll get will be good.

What would you tell me if we were having coffee? 🙂

 

Liebster Award.

I’ve been nominated for the Liebster Award by Carol Anne at

Therapy Bits.

Thank you so much, Carol Anne, it means really a lot to me and it is hugely appreciated. 🙂

The rules are to answer 11 questions from the blogger who nominated you, post on your blog, nominate seven more and make up 11 new questions for them to answer.

Questions from Carol Anne:

1 who made you smile lately?
Zofijka, we always laugh from the silliest things. Even just her laugh makes me laugh.

2 what types of videos do you like to watch on youtube?
I watch a lot of videos about languages and language learning, Youtube is an important resource for me in learning languages. Also I watch Youtube channels about names, above all Tulip By Any Name, but also others. Sometimes I watch some Youtubers vlogging about their mental illness, I try to regularly watch bloggers I follow if they have their channels, also I listen to a lot of music on Youtube. And lots of videos in my target languages, about anything. Sometimes I may also watch good quality ASMR videos if I feel like it, but it’s rather rarely nowadays, I know my ASMR triggers myself well enough to be able to surround myself with the pleasant and relaxing sounds that just work for me, and ASMR videos most often don’t work, even though I definitely do have ASMR.

3 Do you like quotes?

I do. Particularly from my favourite books. I also like learning about proverbs in other languages or remember quotes to make my vocabulary wider.

4 Spring or summer and why?
Nowadays, rather spring. I hate too much heat and don’t tolerate it too well. For years I loved summer because it meant holidays so that I’d be at home, but now I don’t have to care about it.

5 What were you hoping for when you started your blog?
To find like-minded people, maybe some friends, get an outlet for my feelings and thoughts, have some support network, share my passions with others and maybe infect someone with any, challenge my English skills and develop them, and maybe other languages in future.

6 Hot or cold drinks and why?
Depends on the weather, I guess. Right now only cold. Icy!

7 Bath or shower and why?
I prefer taking baths, but my skin definitely prefers quick showers.

8 If you had a wish any wish what would it be?
Uh, very very tricky. Hm, maybe for my best friend to get back in touch with me? Maybe sounds a bit selfish, so at least I’d like to know why is he so silent for months now, no matter how serious or ridiculous the reason is, I much prefer to know it even if it’s terrible than to not know anything and not hear from him at all for months. and I wish I could do something about it and change things, whatever went wrong.

9 Kids or animals? Who are your favourite?
Misha. 😀

10 What are the qualities you like in a friend?
Similar sense of humour, intelligence, some similar interests, rather introversion than extraversion, creativity, good listening skills, sensitivity, loyalty.

11 What is the worst thing about your depression?

I guess the worst is when my energy is so low I can’t do just anything and it’s hard to even pretend you’re OK. I also hate it when I get overwhelmed by feelings and that expressing them is always so tricky for me.

My nominees:

Alice at That Girl Called Alice

Jess at RubiksCat

Kat at From The Wings

Sunshine For Your Sorrow

Depressed Mermaids

Take A Ride On My Mood Swing

Michelle at

Bella’s Babbles

Rosie at

Rosie Blogs

Samantha at

My Bipolar Mind

Lauren at

A Gentlewoman And A Scholar

Lydia at

On The Borderline

Questions for my nominees:

1. What is one quirk about you that you particularly like?

2. Were you popular at school?

3. Do you have any tattoos?

4. What would be the title of your autobiography?

5. How would you describe your childhood in three adjectives?

6. What is your favourite vegetable and what dish do you like with it the most?

7. What one thing would you change about your past if you could?

8. What is your all time favourite book?

9. What/who is your biggest inspiration?

10. Do you think you’re likeable? Why, or why not?

11. What is your favourite post on your blog?

Remember you’re not obliged to do an award post yourself, it’s just to let you know I appreciate you and your writing.

Thanks once again, Carol Anne. 🙂

 

Question of the day.

Do you use any e-reader? If so, what was the last physical book you read?

My answer:

Of course, I do use e-readers. On a daily basis, I use my PlexTalk, also, because I like to read on my own, in Braille, I often read books on my Braille-Sense, which is a Braille notetaker with a Braille display, and among other things you can use it as a reading device. I feel like I absorb and learn more if I can read something by myself, rather than listen to it, so if I have the choice, I use my BrailleSense, though PlexTalk is much more comfortable option like in bed or while travelling or something. My Braille-Sense is quite portable but because it’s now over 10 years old, the battery is pretty much screwed up and I can’t get a new one at the moment so I have to have it on the charger actually all the time nowadays. But when I read books in other languages, if they’re not audiobooks, I almost always do it by myself. Also sometimes I happen to read books on my laptop but it’s rather rarely nowadays.

The last physical book, hm, as much as I love physical books in theory, it’s rather tough in practice to read physical books in Braille regularly. They’re way larger than normal, way more expensive, and generally not the most handy on the Earth. They’re very limited, you can’t get just whatever you want in Braille, I mean sure, you can order it in some printing house or something, I was once forced to do so, or my Mum was, and the costs were a pure nightmare. So if you were blind and wanted to only read physical books, I guess you wouldn’t read a lot since in most cases you should be rather prepared that the book you are looking for isn’t available anywhere. I theoretically am subscribed to our Polish sort of main Braille library, but since there are so many comfier, cheaper and useful alternatives I don’t see much of a point in doing so, unless I really wouldn’t have any way of reading anything on my own, then I would probably read at least some physical Braille books just to not become a secondary illiterate, as it’s not quite a tempting perspective for me. In the past, when I didn’t have as many reading devices, it was a regular thing in our family life that we were getting HUGE bags with books in mail from that library, there was always a lot of hassle around it, they were heavy, my Mum had to go back and forth to the post office quite often, often even was shipping the books forward to my school so that I could read them as I wasn’t at home most of the time, but I’ve always been a bookworm so there was no other way. 😀

What I borrowed from the Braille library for the last time, were tables with mathematic formulas that I needed to prepare to my finals, and, quite obviously, if you know me well enough, I’ve never thought about reading it whole like a book, there are so many more interesting and important things to do in life, right? 😀 I just got what I needed from it and that was all. So, hm, do I actually remember what was the last physical, actual book I’ve read? I guess nope. Had to be like four years ago, if not more, because even already in my last years at the school for the blind I was reading very few physical books other than textbooks or compulsory readings or such. Wow, I didn’t even realise it before. 😀

How about you? And which way do you prefer to read? 🙂

Question of the day.

And the actual question for today is also related to books:

Do you think you would be happy working in a bookshop, or being a librarian?

My answer:

Hm, I certainly do like reading, even if I am picky with books in a sense, and I guess it could be a nice job, although nothing I’ve ever dreamt about. Other than that, it’s a bit hard for me to imagine myself working in a bookshop or library because I am blind, unless it would be really adjusted, or I’d work in a library for the blind, the latter would be doable theoretically, i guess. But, usually, libraries for the blind are a part of schools for the blind, at least here, apart from one main library, and schools for the blind is definitely not an environment I would like to have close connections with them, I already puke with them all. So no, I think it’s not the best option for me. Or even if I’d have quite good conditions at such a work place and would like it, I don’t think I would be so professionally fulfilled that we could talk about happiness in this case.

How about you? 🙂

Question of the day.

What was the last book you purchased/borrowed from the library?

My answer:

I wanted to read a book by the Polish positivist writer Eliza Orzeszkowa called “Marta”, so I downloaded it from our online library for the blind. Actually, some of the books of Orzeszkowa are compulsory readings at Polish schools, so I’ve never had particularly warm feelings to her works as I found most of compulsory readings unbelievably boring, but I wanted to read that particular book, not for anything particular, just because I thought it could be interesting and thought provoking. It was, I read it in two days. It describes fate of women in Poland at the time of positivism, their occupational situation, how all the fields were dominated by men, to put it very basically. It is described on the example of a woman called Marta, who has been just widowed at the beginning of the book, and although her financial situation in her marriage was very good and stable, and she led a happy life, from now on she becomes poor and is forced to look for a job for herself to be able to feed her little daughter. She is an educated gentrywoman but her education turns out to be not enough to find a job just anywhere, it’s just what usually young ladies were taught, a bit of everything, but nothing deep enough to be really useful in life long term. It is a very dramatic book and it describes how Marta is slowly forced by life to beg to provide at least basic things for her daughter, and finally when her daughter becomes ill with severe bronchitis because of the incredibly poor life conditions and Marta isn’t able to give her what she needs to recover, she commits suicide. So as I said it’s very dramatic, but also incredibly thought-provoking, and Orzeszkowa has definitely a talent for describing people, their emotions and stuff, which made it even more pleasant to read, as I really like detailed descriptions, if skillfully written. So I devoured the book much quicker than I thought I would. I supposed it can be very interesting as I said, but I thought it also can be much harder to actually get through, so was quite surprised.

How about you? 🙂

The Hottest Baby Names In Poland Right Now (my post from Nameberry).

So here is the piece about baby names in Poland I’ve written for Nameberry. It has been published there today and you can find it here.Your feedback about the article would be greatly appreciated, and I’m very curious about your opinions on these names.

 

The Hottest Baby Names In Poland Right Now.

Maybe you have Polish heritage and want to give your child a name relating to Polish culture. Or maybe you’re simply interested in naming trends around the world. Here’s a list of the ten hottest names for boys and girls to give you some idea of what’s most fashionable in Poland today.

Some of these names are traditional, some more modern, but certainly there are several that could be, or already are, used more widely.

girls

Julia

Julia has been the queen of names since 2001, when it reached Number 1 after climbing the charts through the 1990s. Polish parents seem to like gentle, feminine sounding names for girls, and Julia definitely is in this class.

Thanks to Julia, names like Julianna or Julita are rising too, although much more slowly. Julka, Juleczka, Julcia or Julisia are the most common nicknames.

The initial J takes on a vowel sound somewhat like a long E or a Y, taking on its own syllable: ee-OOL-ya.

Zuzanna

Like Julia, Zuzanna has been one of Poland’s favorites since early 90’s. It’s a strong, solid, feminine name, with biblical and literary connection, that ages well and has a range of nicknames.

Zuzanna could be also an interesting option for parents from other countries, a fresh alternative to Susanna/Susanne with a Zzippy feel.

There was a song for kids about a doll called Zuzia that was popular at roughly the same time Zuzanna started rising significantly, which could be one reason for its popularity. Zuzia is the most common nickname, but there are also Zuza, Zuzka, Zuźka, and Zuzanka.

Zofia

Zofia is classy and traditional, strong and feminine, the Polish spin on the internationally favorite Sophia. It sounds very serious and lady-like, but can be adjusted to younger bearers with some charming pet names, such as Zosia (as in Girls actress Mamet), Zośka, Zosieńka, Zocha, or more creatively Zofijka or Zofisia.

Zofia has been often used in Polish literature, most notably in the national epic of Poland, Pan Tadeusz, by Adam Mickiewicz.

Lena

The strict naming laws that ruled for years in Poland forbade (among other things) the use of nicknames as full names, which may be why so many parents like to do just that these days. Lena is a nickname for the also-stylish Helena or Magdalena, or any other name ending in –lena – and we have quite a lot of those in Poland.

Lena may be a nickname name, but it has nicknames of its own, for example Lenka, girly and cute.

Maja

Another nickname-y name, Maja was for years only one of the many pet names for Maria, sometimes used for girls born in May. Pronunciation is exactly like Maya – my-ah.

One contributor to Maja’s popularity was Maya The Honey Bee, a television anime series that was very popular in Poland. Many little Majas are jokingly called Maja the Bee for a joke, sometimes shortened to Majka or Majeczka.

Hanna

The classic Anna, which is the Number 1 name for females of all ages in Poland, is giving way for the next generation to Hanna, a new, more dynamic and energetic favorite. Hanna is still very traditional, in use since the 12th century. Hanna nicknames include Hania, Hanka, Hanusia and Haneczka.

Amelia

As in many other European countries, Amelia is conquering more and more parents’ hearts. It was popularized by a medical series broadcasted in early 2000’s, where one of the fictional babies bore this name. Pet names include: Amelka, Amelcia, Ami, and Mela.

Alicja

An elegant, classy name, with a pretty much the same aristocratic vibe as Alice has in English-speaking countries, Alicja is a timeless classic that’s only recently become widely popular. It is most often nicknamed to Ala, rather sadly, in my opinion, because the full Alicja – pronounced ah-LEETZ-ee-ah — sounds so great.

Maria

Maria is the second most popular name for Polish females of all ages after Anna. Considered a granny name by many, it was overwhelmingly popular for centuries, but now many parents who like Maria’s traditional vintage feel are coming back to it. Maria is also very often used for religious and family reasons, like Mary in the US.

Widely used as a middle names, Maria’s most common nickname is Marysia; others include Maryśka, Maja, Majka, and Mania.

Aleksandra

Aleksandra is a long, regal, powerful sounding name that managed to outstrip the no-less regal Aleksander to become one of the most popular names of the second half of the last century. Popular as a first name among millennials, hardly anyone uses the full form, with the most common nickname Ola.

Some more original Aleksandras may want to be called Sandra, but that can be hard to achieve in Poland, since the name Aleksandra seems to be inseparably connected to the nickname Ola in an average Pole’s mind. Ola is well-used in books, songs, and nursery rhymes. Other nicknames can be Olka, OleÅ„ka, or maybe Ala.

boys

Antoni

The Polish form of Anthony is a perfect example of Polish parents are turning back to the traditional for baby names. Antoni was hugely popular in the first half of 20th century,  then fell out of favor for decades to finally enter the top 50 again in early 2000s. Most common diminutive is probably Antek, other diminutives include Tosiek, Tolek, Tolo, Tunio, or Anti.

Jakub

Like Jacob in the US, Jakub – pronounce ya-kobe — is one of undisputed rulers in Polish names’ popularity rankings in recent years. This name has known in Poland since the 13th century, but it was only in the 1970s that it started to significantly increase in popularity, reaching Number 1 in 2000 and staying in that position until 2015.

A fun fact regarding this name is that its most popular nickname – Kuba – is one of the very few masculine names in the Polish language that ends in -a, an ending that’s usually reserved for girl names. Other nickname options are KubuÅ› or Jakubek. An older, kind of archaic form of Jakub is Jaksa or Jaxa, which, although still rarely used, seems to be liked by more and more parents.

Jan

Although it’s a feminine name in the English-speaking world, Jan – pronounced yahn – is the usual form of John in countries like Germany, Netherlands, Sweden, and Poland. Jan is said to be the most popular name borne by men in Poland. It has ranked high since the early 2000s and is also a very common name among the older generations. Jan is also a popular, safe and traditional middle name choice. Common nicknames include Janek, JaÅ›, Jasiu, and Jasiek.

Szymon

Biblical names, particularly those originating from the New Testament, are extremely popular for boys here. Szymon, along with much less used Symeon, is a Polish form of Simon.  Pronunciation is shih-MOAN.

Franciszek

Like Antoni, Franciszek is a very traditional name that had been popular for centuries, then fell out of favor in the second half of last century only to come back in early 2000s. Probably not the easiest name to pronounce for an English speaker – it’s something like frahn-SEE-shek — Franciszek is a Polish form of Francis. Its nickname, Franek, seems a bit more usable abroad.

Filip

Filip had never been as popular in Poland as it has been in recent years. It has all that Polish parents seem to like in a name: It’s solid but not harsh, has extreme nickname potential, is short, and – yes, it’s biblical! I think it could also be an interesting alternative to Philip for American parents seeking something creative, but not too out there. Some nickname possibilities are Filipek, Fil, and FiluÅ›, but it allows really a lot of creativity and options could be never-ending.

Aleksander

Since the late 90s, Aleksander is getting more and more attention, after years of being in the shadow of its feminine form Aleksandra. In fact, all the Aleks- names are in the spotlight now: Aleksander, Aleks, and even quite niche Aleksy are getting more attention. Aleksander’s most common nickname is Olek, because of the archaic form Oleksander. The letter X hardly exists in the Polish alphabet, but many parents find the letter x more appealing in names than ks, which results in Alex and Alexander climbing up fast as well. Other than Olek, Aleksander can be nicknamed Alek, OluÅ›, Alik, Ksander, Sander, or Sandi.

Mikołaj

Mikołaj, pronounced MEE-ko-lie, is a form of Nicholas. It was very popular amongst the nobility in the middle ages, but was rarely used in modern times until the 90s. Most popular nicknames are Miki, Mikołajek, or Mikuś.

Wojciech

A genuinely Polish, timeless name, Wojciech consists of two Slavic elements – voji meaning “soldier”, and tekha “joy, comfort, solace”. There aren’t many Slavic names that are very popular in Poland right now, so Wojciech seems to be a bit of an exception to the rule. It has been always more or less popular and liked by many generations. While there are many famous Wojciechs that have been contributing to this name’s success, the one who is most important is Saint Wojciech, patron saint of Poland. Nicknames include Wojtek and WojtuÅ›. Pronunciation, which would undoubtedly prove difficult for English speakers, is something like vo-check.

Kacper

Kacper (or the more anglo-friendly Kasper) is a Polish form of Jasper. Kacper has been strongly associated with one of the Three Kings – Jasper, Melchior and Balthazar – and given particularly to the children born on the 6th January, their feast day. The only nickname that is more commonly used is Kacperek.

Which ones do you like the most? Would you use any of them for your own child?

So so thrilled!!! My post has been published on Nameberry!

Guys, I am just so excited today. ::)

Remember when I wrote that I came back to my idea that I would like to be a baby namer, and then I talked with my Mum about it, etc.? And then that I was writing to a few name experts asking them for some advice?

So I guess I also told you that only one lady responded to me – she is one of the founders of Nameberry – and she offered to me that I could write articles for their blog to get some more experience and visibility. So, quite obviously, I jumped on the chance and soon afterwards I wrote a little piece, about the most popular names in Poland right now.

And it’s up now on Nameberry.

I will republish it in the next post and share the link with you all, and also I ad love to get some feedback from you, and I’m curious which names of those you like the most. 🙂

Yay, finally I am doing something else besides being my Dad’s secretary. 😀 It’s cool and very helpful, but not very challenging, so yeah, I’m happy I can do something else now, even if it’s just a little thing, you always need to start somewhere, right?

 

Question of the day.

What was the last thing you doodled on a piece of paper?

My answer:

Doodling sounds like a fab activity, but since I am blind, in my case it’s rather pointless and not the easiest thing to do, I guess. So I don’t thik I’ve ever doodled anything in my entire life. 😀

How about you? 🙂

Share Your World.

Here are Cee’s questions for this week’sShare Your World

and my answers.

 

In regards to puzzle what’s your choice: jigsaw, crossword, word search, mazes, logic or numeric puzzles, something else, or nothing?

I have never been a big fan of puzzles, maybe because of my blindness, but I do like word games so sometimes I used to play word search, and I still sometimes happen to play jigsaw puzzles with Zofijka.

List at least five favorite treats and it doesn’t necessarily have to be food.

Chocolate, anything spicy – particularly crisps, listening to my favourite music, buying new gem stones to my collection, Misha, anything to do with Misha.

What is your favorite type of dog? (can be anything from a specific breed, a stuffed animal or character in a movie)

Hm, I have some fondness for Jack Russell terriers just because we were supposed to have one and they seem cute and just because they’re JACK Russell terriers and I love all Jacks unconditionally hahaha. And I like the dog that now lives with my Mum’s family at the place where we lived before, his name is Polar, he is so clever, he just gets humans and what they want from him better than they do themselves.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Getting my crush – Gwilym Bowen Rhys’s – new album and listening to it, it’s awesome. Getting in touch with one of the name experts from Nameberry and writing an article about Polish names for Nameberry, that was exciting for me and I enjoyed doing it, I hope something good will come out of it, it’s thrilling. Misha, writing other things and blogging.

 

Hoping hearts.

Tomorrow my Mum has an appointment with a coeliad disease specialist in the afternoon, and in the morning, she will have some blood tests done, mainly to see if she has enough of iron, feritin, or however it is called, and how her thyroid hormones’ levels are, because she’s constantly very tired and having menopause so it was actually what I suggested her to do because so many women in her age seem to start to have all those Hashimotos, hypothyroidisms and stuff.

But what I’m mostly concerned about is that coeliac disease thing. She has had isssues with gluten and with food in general for a long time now, feeling unwell after pretty much anything she eats. It’s really concerning for me, and I know for her too, even though she pretends to take it easy. She had gastroscopy and colonoscopy done and thankfully there’s no cancer or other alike shit involved, I was freaking out it could be that. But still, the perspective of my Mum having coeliac disease quite scares me. I just hope it could be just something milder, something easier to treat, I’ve heard so many awful stuff about coeliac disease. Maybe it’s just some allergy or something. But even if she doesn’t eat any gluten she still feels tired and very often feels bloated.

and I know she’s stressed too, and can’t wait to know what’s up.

So we both, with more or less desperately hoping hearts, are awaiting for the results, and I, despite identifying myself strongly as a defensive pessimist, still am praying for the best possible outcome for her.