How are you, today?
I’m OK, and I’m glad about it after last week which was pretty rough for me emotionally. I’m not doing anything paticular today, was supposed to see my new therapist, but she had to reschedule our session. We had a lot of snuggle time with Misha earlier today when Mum went out with Zofijka to the orthodontist and there were just we at home. They’ve come back already though. Mum told us she’ll make rice croquettes with mushrooms which we all like except for Dad but he’s at work until tomorrow so we don’t have to worry about him and have what we like. 😀 So both Zofijka and me are looking forward to it and although Olek doesn’t know anything about it yet, I’m sure he’ll be delighted, I guess he likes them the most of us. So I think I’m gonna have a calm and peaceful day. I plan on reading a lot today – I got a great book from Carol Anne blogging at Therapy Bits, it’s a foster care memoir by Maggie Hartley called “Tiny Prisoners”. I’ve just read her another book, “Battered, Broken, Healed”, and I have also read one more book by her before and they’re all great. The one I’m reading now is absolutely intriguing. Misha’s had a lot going on for him recently, but I think I’ll let him talk about it on his own tomorrow, he’d be disappointed if I told you everything, he’s always so desperate to have somethigng interesting to say and talk to people about his new “adventures”. 😀 Poor child.
Last Sunday we had a barbecue with my Mum’s family, it was my cousin’s First Communion anniversary, and there was one cat on the backyard who particularly liked me, although apparently she’s generally very cuddly. She literally spent all that time we were there on my lap, which was very nice of her and I absolutely loved her, at least I wasn’t bored. 😀 I couldn’t help though comparing her to Misha. It’s not like I would want Misha to be any different, he wouldn’t be Misha then, but still I sometimes regret he’s not more cuddly and wonder why he’s always so fearful. It doesn’t look like he’s just a stereotypical, selfish cat who only wants to be lonely and not disturbed by humans. Maybe I’m exaggerating or pick holes in it, but for me he looks like he has some sort of weird internal conflict. He often meows when he’s lonely, he wants to get in when the door is closed, for example to my room when he knows I’m in and he hhrrrus at me to let him in. Then he’ll usually rub my leg very subtly and hide undeer the bed or the table. And you usually won’t be able to coax him out of there, unless he’s hungry and you have some snacks for him, but even then he’ll be usually very wary and hesitant. He sometimes comes near me or anyone else of us, but if you turn to him or try to touch him, he’ll usually seem scared. He has his cuddly moods, but usually he’s very cautious, and for me that’s worrying. At the same time, when he’s in my room and I try to make him comfortable and do my own thing not paying any attention to him, he meows, scratches things around me, comes close to me to rub me and then runs away before I can touch him. So, for me, he looks like he’s somehow conflicted. Well if it’s really the case he seems like me haha. But I hope it’s just because he’s so young, and he’s very lively and wants to do things on his own, explore the world, and isn’t old and calm enough to just be cuddled all the time and purr. We are a bit afraid that he could be a bit overwhelmed of Zofijka. You see, when Misha came to us, he was a very little, scared kitten and his breeder told us that until he adapts, we’d better act like he’s just not here and not pay any attention to him. He cried a lot and it took some time for him to adapt, but it was impossible to keep Zofijka away from him. She couldn’t resist to pick him up every so often, cuddle him, chase him… Sofi’s quite a noisy, veery active kid so he actually looked like he’s scared of her. She meant the best and was very affectionate with him, but he didn’t feel very comfortable with her, and it looked like he didn’t trust her. I tried to keep her away from Misha because Misha’s officially mine since I had bought him with a little support of my parents, but obviously I wouldn’t tell her that he’s only mine, if he lives with all of us so unofficially he’s mine and Zofijka’s, although I have a feeling that the person he secretly prefers is Mum, which I’m OK with it and which is understandable since she makes him food most of the time, like prepares his wet food or gives him some human food while making meals, changes the water in his main bowl, and always cleans up his litterbox. After some time he started to be more comfortable around Zofijka and he likes to play with her, although is particularly cautious and doesn’t like to be touched by her more than necessary. and I wonder sometimes whether it is she who kinda screwed him up, that he’s so wary around people. Was she too intrusive for him and was it too early for him for such close interactions? Or was he already somehow traumatised before? Is it just his personality? ‘Cause in a way I doubt Zofijka could screw him up so much, after all she loves him to pieces, and she wouldn’t harm him purposefully.
Where I’m going to is that when I saw that cat at my grandparents’ backyard, I started to think more about getting another cat, for Misha. For me, and for all of us, Misha’s just enough. But we’ve often discussed whether it would be good for Misha to have a friend. In contrast to people, he seems to crave contact with other animals. And maybe if the other cat would be like her, so cuddly and sweet, Misha would see that there’s nothing wrong with being cuddled and nothing bad is going to happen to him. And he’d have a playmate. I felt even tempted, and I know my Mum was too, to take that cute girl with us and I even started to call her Michelle, but obviously it wouldn’t be a wise idea. She’s spent her whole life on te backyard and she wouldn’t be happy closed in the house, she wouldn’t adapt.
I had awful allegy after so much cuddling with Michelle – that’s weird that I am allergic to cats, but not to Misha 😀 – but it was so nice to cuddle with her. She purred so loudly, our poor boy Mishka likes to purr but it’s always a very silent purr, so you’d rather feel it under your fingers if you touch his neck, than hear it. Mum has even a theory he has something with his throat or something like this because his purr is rarely heard if you don’t lie next to him, with your ear next to his head. But I still hope it’s all just because he’s still so very young. And, actually, I don’t mind how loud or quiet he purrs, quieter purring is more intimate and just for you, no one else around can hear it, it’s not for anyone. In a way, such sensitive beings like Misha are much better than such affectionate kittys like Michelle. Michelle purred so loudly that everyone could hear it, although they talked, laughed, ate, walked around… and when I finally had to leave, I gave her to my cousin, and Michelle still purred, expecting more cuddles, so it wasn’t about me, it was about any human being who would be around to pet her. That’s not the case with Misha. Misha might not be cuddly all the time, and might not purr all the time, but when he does, he does for those whom he really knows and likes, and who love him. So far, it had never happened that Misha would sing his litle purry song to any stranger, other than my grandad, who is generally liked by cats for some mysterious reason. And that’s what I love about Misha. As a mum wouldn’t like her child to be indifferent whether it is her or a stranger taking care of the child, so I wouldn’t like my furbaby to have the same feelings for me, and any random person who cmes in to our house. That’s what I’ve been thinking about for a while now.
How are you doing? 🙂
How are you, today?