Question of the day.

Do you have a mind for science and math? Would you consider yourself an intellectual? My answer:
I was never particularly good at science at school, if it can indicate whether someone has a mind for science or not, I was quite average. I wasn’t also particularly outstanding at biology or chemistry, and was as lame, hopeless and clueless as you only can imagine at physics and maths and hate it with all my brain. Me and my Mum actually tried very hard to get me a certificate for dyscalculia as one of my teachers suggested, but the woman who evaluated me told us that yes, I theoretically match the criteria but for some reason blind people can’t be diagnosed with dyscalculia, but I didn’t actually get out of her why exactly. If not, it’s OK, but then why won’t they adjust things so that they would be more manageable for those blind people who struggle with mathematical concepts? As far as I know it’s not just me, although I seem to be the most hopeless case of those I know of. ๐Ÿ˜€ A bit incomprehensible for me that they don’t want to cooperate more, and incredibly annoying, but very luckily it’s all the past and I don’t have to worry about that shit anymore!!!!!!!!!
However, I still do like some things about science, and I would say my approach to many things is rather scientific. I don’t like this division – that some fields are scientific, and some are humanities and arts so they completely aren’t scientific, or that some people have scientific minds, while others have humanist/artistic. I think most of those fields that are called humanities or arts are also scientific more or less, and moreover, often people who work in these fields have scientific minds too. Like I often hear people saying that for example psychology is a humanist field, so not scientific. But I think it’s a great deal of both. Same would be music, social sciences, politology, linguistics, many arts, and so on. So, I’d say I lean more to those fields that many people would call not scientific but rather humanist –
like languages, writing, music, etc. but I often involve in them with quite a scientific approach. Particularly when it comes to languages and how I learn them and how I understand various language concepts. I’ve also had people telling me that actually my way of thinking seems pretty scientific to them, and my Mum constantly keeps saying that I’m analysing way too much stuff and should become a philosopher, and it always pisses her off for some reason when I do so. ๐Ÿ˜€ I easily notice similarities in things even those that are apparently unrelated to each other which sometimes leads me to quite surprising conclusions. I like deducing lots of things rather than getting to know them straight as they are from someone. I like researching stuff and when something really interests me I can be incredibly inquiring to the point of nosiness at times. ๐Ÿ˜€ After all I am an Aquarius and all that seems to be characteristic for this zodiac sign. I guess all that can be also called characteristics of a scientific mind. Plus I also am into psychology, medicine, human brain, and some other things that are to do with science by their nature, and if I would see I would be a neurosurgeon for sure. And I’m a bit geeky/nerdy overall.
As for being an intellectual, hm, I’m surely intelligent, people often say that above average, but it is mainly my Mum, who is certainly not objective. ๐Ÿ˜€ But yeah, I myself too like to think that I am intelligent, and I think most of my interests and things I do require some intellectual potential as well as develop it further. I certainly like to do things with my brain and I like intellectual challenges. When there were still social classes that were significantly divided in Poland my Mum’s family were intellectuals, and this is still visible in what they are like, both my grandparents are very intelligent and so are they children, and they have always respected intellectual work and have a lot of comprehensive knowledge even if not all of my grandparents’ kids have graduated from unis because they simply didn’t want to, like for example my Mum started studying pedagogic but stopped very quickly because she just realised it’s not for her, and her true dream was to work in gastronomy, which isn’t something very intellectual, but anyway she was never able to achieve it either. Most of my Mum’s family are also naturally witty people and appreciate a good, but not too simple joke which seems to also be a trait of intelligent people. I think I have a lot after my Mum’s family, that I like to learn, even if these aren’t conventional things you can learn at school, ’cause I am absolutely fed up with education system overall as I said before. I’ve also learnt a lot, particularly from my Grandad, who, although he is a food technologist by profession, has also been very keen about medicine and he taught me a lot about different aspects of it, practically anytime we talk I learn something new. ๐Ÿ˜€ I also think I have some sense of humour after them, be it in the way I can see lots of absurd in many life situations whee an average person wouldn’t see anything particular, or in the fact that I like making people laugh, have, or try to have some healthy distance to most of things and laughing off stuff is my life coping strategy in many situations, I am also often sarcastic and cynnical just like my grandad and my Mum, though each of us in a bit different way. So I think I can call myself an intellectual.
How about you? Do you like science, or have a scientific mind? How about math? Do you think about yourself as an intellectual? How does it all manifest in you? ๐Ÿ™‚

Gwilym – Catalunya.

Hi! ๐Ÿ™‚

I suppose most of my readers if not all already know about my music crushes and that my currently most dominant one is on Gwilym Bowen Rhys. It’s another Gwilym today though. Gwilym, being one of traditional and quite classic Welsh names and surnames seems to be quite popular there, but I was quite surprised that this Gwilym is actually a band – a very fresh and young, band and already pretty successful on their local scene – which, funnily enough, consists of, as far as I can remember, four guys, but none of them is called Gwilym. ๐Ÿ˜€ I was quite curious why they chose such a name for their band, since Gwilym is also one of my favourite Welsh male names, but I still don’t know.

Anyway, so far I know their three songs, I suppose it’s all they’ve done so far, and I like all of them, they’re pretty catchy, and cool, in some cases I would say catchiness isn’t that much of an advantage, but in their cases it certainly is. This is their newest song that has gained a lot of attention in Welsh language media and all around the Welsh language music scene, or so it looks for me as an outsider. Here it is:

Does anyone else love suitcases?

Hhrrru?

It’s Misha. I’m a little sad today. Zofijka’s going on a camp for an entire week. Yes, I know, I know, I’ve said many times that I am afraid of Zofijka, and I am, a bit, but I still like her, there’s no one else who plays with me as much as she does, and I would sleep all the time and fall into coma if not her. I feel it is going to be an awfully boring week. I hope the other peeps won’t go anywhere. They’re talking about Sweden, I hope they won’t go there. I like to be alone, but not lonely. And if your completely cut off from all the other beings that are alive in the world, besides all the yucky bacteria that I apparently have inside of me, as Zofijka says, so if you’re cut off from everyone and stuck in the house for a week you feel lonely and it isn’t funny anymore. Well, there will be Olek, but he’s mostly at work or goes out with his friends so I won’t see him a lot. I am afraid he will forget to feed me if they go away. But maybe I shouldn’t worry yet…

What I actually wanted to tell you is that in some way I like when someone is going somewhere for a longer time. I like to assist them with packing. Zofijka has such a large suitcase! I love it. Sleeping in all the possible suitcases is one of the most attractive holiday activities for me! Zofijka’s suitcase is particularly cosy. She wanted me to go out and lie beside it if I like it so much but I didn’t, I just stayed there so she had it a bit difficult to pack, with such an extra luggage, so she had to put all her things over me. But I didn’t care. It was a bit too tight, but still very warm and cosy, and I tink I always look very appealing in a good suitcase, no matter how much other stuff are there besides hehehehe. Everyone was amazed when they were coming to Zofijka’s room.

Unfortunately now Zofijka is packed and the suitcase is closed, and I can only lay on it, which isn’t as interesting. And I wish I could do something so she wouldn’t go tomorrow. Who will play with me? I think I’ll spend the rest of the day with Zofijka.

Mishpurrs.

Misha Pisha

Milestone meet and greet – mental health and mental illness related.

As you may remember, a few days ago My Inner Mishmash turned six months. Therefore, I came up with the idea that I will host a meet and greet on my blog celebrating blogging milestones. Each of these meet and greets will be focused on a particular field, that is also a part of my blog and my life. Every time I will achieve a blogging milestone, I will make a meet and greet post dedicated to bloggers blogging about something particular, so that they can promote themselves a little bit and those who are interested in the topic may find some new interesting blogs to read. Some of the topics may be a little niche since many of my interests are.
This meet and greet is for mental health and mental illness bloggers. If you suffer from a mental illness, work in the mental health field or are interested in these topics and blog about it, please feel free to share your blog. Also those who aren’t mental health bloggers, but have written a post or a few on this, are welcome to share.
I hope it will be a nice way for us all to find some more blogs to read and that those of you guys who will share with us will gain some new readers. ๐Ÿ™‚ Rules:
1. If you blog about mental health/mental illness, leave your blog link in the comments. If you aren’t a mental health blogger, but have a post(s) you wrote, regarding these topics and would like to share, feel free to do so and leave the link(s) as well. 2. Tell us as much as you feel like about yourself and your blog. 3. Reblog if you’d like, so that more people will know.
4. Visit some of other commenters’ blogs, read their posts, give them a follow, a like, or leave them a comment, just mingle a bit since that’s what it’s for, so that they know you visited and enjoyed. I hope you’ll have fun and I’m looking forward to read your blogs. ๐Ÿ™‚

Question of the day.

Do you consider yourself artistic, in any way?

My answer:

What does actually the word artistic mean? ‘Cause, I feel like there could be a few definitions. An artistic person could be simply an artist, so, I suppose, someone who makes a living with their art. But then do really all artists make a living with their art? Someone told me that the art is only when it has a receiver, so all those who are artists are those who show their works to others, and those who for example write poetry and keep it in the drawer, these people aren’t artists, and no matter how beautiful things they create, they’re worthless because they don’t have readers/listeners/viewers… that sounds rather radical, but OK, maybe that’s true, I’m certainly not an art expert. Artistic may also mean someone who is artsy and does a lot of stuff like singing, writing, crafting, for a hobby, and they’re particularly good at it. I also have an impression that many people tend to exclude all the other arts than visual and all that is art for them is if someone paints, draws, carves or sculpts etc. that is particularly weird for me. Like kids have art classes at school and it only includes visual arts, not that much writing, singing, playing instruments, acting or whatever else.

Naah there seems to be way too many different definitions and meanings behind the words art and artistic. So I’m gona share my own with you. An artistic person, in my personal opinion, is someone who is first and foremost creative. They’re usually an aesthete, highly sensitive, particularly to beauty. They don’t necessarily have to be real artists so painters or poets, but what they do is like an art for them, I mean they’re very good at it and they do it in their own way, they’re devoted to it with all their heart, soul and mind. Their art might be pretty modest and not important in the grand scheme of things, but it is what makes them happy and, usually, is also of great benefit for those around them. This is just how I would interpret the word artist. And, as a stereotypical artist, such people are usually pretty quirky and view things differently than many other people, in just their own way.

The first such an artistic soul that comes to my mind is my Mum. She doesn’t do any real art, well, she can crochet very well, she is pretty good at writing, was at school at least, and has some gift for acting which she sometimes gives an outlet to while reading books to either me or Zofijka, or while imitating other people for fun. But she doesn’t do neither of those things regularly, she doesn’t do anything conventionally artistic on a daily basis. But she cooks like a real artist, she often says that cooking is an art, but also a very scientific thing, so much physics in it. She is very inventive in the kitchen. also she is very sensitive to beauty and has a somewhat sophisticated style, she is passionate about decorating houses, even if it’s not something she herself does. She easily notices beauty in people and places and knows how to elicit it, that’s why she wanted to be an interior designer or a beautician. And she’s incredibly diplomatic, and that’s an art too. So she definitely is artistic.

Well now as for me. I write regularly – short stories, sometimes quirky or humourous poems, recently we were remaking a lot of nursery rhymes with Zofijka into more sassy and witty versions (I just can’t be serious in poetry although I would like sometimes), I’m working on translating Cornelis Vreeswijk’s works from Swedish into Polish which I also consider some sort of art, I am also musical although I’m not doing anything about it at the moment other than being a keen listener to a lot of music. But even if I write something, nowadays I rarely show it to someone, so in a conventional way I wouldn’t consider myself an artist now. However in my definition I think I am artistic in some way because I definitely am sensitive to beauty, and quite creative, I like to do creative stuff with the language, and I am a synaesthete which is – maybe a bit stereotypically – usually attributed as a sort of artistic trait, I am highly imaginative, so I think I do have some artistic side to my nature. Oh, and so many people say that baby naming is also an art, which I actually agree with.

How about you? DO you consider yourself artistic? How does it manifest? What does the word artistic actually mean to you? Would you agree with my definition? ๐Ÿ™‚

Gwibdaith Hen Frรขn – Coffi Du (Black Coffee).

Hi guys! ๐Ÿ™‚

Dw i’n hoffi coffi! That’s I like coffee in Welsh, doesn’t it sound cool? ๐Ÿ˜€

Any other coffee addicts here? This is a song for you. ๐Ÿ˜€ I love it, because it describes my relationship with coffee so well! OK, I don’t think I’m an addict, I can manage a day without coffee or more in necessary, it can just be damn hard when you have always very low blood pressure, but when I really want to feel the effects of coffee, I need to drink a few because I’ve never was particularly sensitive to caffeine. My Mum just laughed when I read the lyrics to her, she’s been drinking coffee everyday since she’s grown up and if by some accident she sometimes don’t do it on time, so right after she wakes up, she quickly gets an awful headache. But at least she manages on one coffee a day.

So yeah, today’s song is for the love of coffee, it’s just fabulous. And, as for the band, Gwibdaith Hen Frรขn are a trip folk band from north Wales, and I must say I like their quirkiness.

The lyrics are in the video, both Welsh and English. Enjoy. ๐Ÿ™‚

Question of the day.

What is on your mind, today? Anything you would like to share/get off your chest?

My answer:

As for me, there’s been a lot happening lately. As you may know, I’ve been pretty much depressed over the last few days. Sunday and Monday were awful, now things are going a little bit better, some external circumstances have taken part in it, that it’s getting a little better.

First of all, some sort of breakthrough has taken place. My Mum, my monolingual, self-doubting Mum, has started to learn English! She’s been thinking, or more like dreaming actually, about learning Italian, or maybe Russian, she does know some Russian from school, but it’s become quite rusty over time. And I kept telling her how good it would be if she knew English, because with her different interests she could find much more interesting stuff online, like she often does a lot of research about some health related topics, and it happens that things in Polish internet on that topic are just very limited, or poorly verified, or something, the more that these things she looks for are usually fairly rare in general. And she could find people that she could talk to, more people with more similar interests. I have never thought however that she could take it seriously, she always thought about learning languages as something exorbitantly difficult and just impossible for her because she “doesn’t have the gift”, whatever this gift is. So you can imagine my utter astonishment. It happened just out of the blue – I just finished my Welsh challenge and went downstairs to recharge my brain with some sugar. Mum was in the kitchen and I told her that I just finished my Welsh and then she asked me how I actualy learn languages. So I gave her a lecture, because there are tons of things I do for every language, and then she started talking about her Italian, how would it be to learn it, and would she really manage. I said she sure would, it’s just the thing of finding the best method. And then she started to look up the apps for learning languages. I told her that actually if she would really like to learn a language, I would recommend English as first because then she can have more resources to learn whichever language she wants. There sure are lots of resources to learn Italian via Polish, it is a popular language so why not, but if she wanted a really good and helpful phone app, I would rather search for an English one. There is Duolingo, which I’ve never used myself, but a lot of people I know did, and it has a Polish version, but as much as I know about it, I wouldn’t recommend it for a beginner. So then she told me she actually doesn’t mind learning English first. She brought out Zofijka’s textbooks and other books to learn English that she had, and never really used, because Zofijka absolutely hates English, and Zofijka’s flashcards. And, just started to learn English. For me it seemed very impulsive and short-lasting, but three days have passed and she’s still going, and she has mastered to be and to have in present tense, as well as transforming simple sentences into questions. She’s having a very hilarious accent, but she’s going. And she has absorbed a huge amount of vocabulary. Well, in the world that is overflowed by English, she’s got in a lot before, consciously or not, and that’s a huge plus too. The only thing that is actually very disturbing and that I guess needs much more work than her English itself, is her confidence, she just can’t get it that she can be, and actually already is, good at English, as for her level and the pace she goes on. She looks forward into future and is very nervous about how much she still has to learn, and how it all seems to be difficult, every single failure is like a proof for her that she can’t do it, and is doing everything wrong, she is frustrated that she doesn’t remember words by the first time she hears them and thinks she has bad memory. I’ve tried a million times to tell her that I am learning a third language and still have many of these issues she has, and lots of other people have it, but I guess she needs time to grasp it. And when I try to motivate her and tell her it’s not as she thinks, she thinks I’m just trying to cheer her up. But I am genuinely amazed with her progress! She’s doing really a lot each day. I asked her what’s actually her main goal, or motive behind it, because if she doesn’t have any she can finish even quicker than she started. And she told me she just wants to keep her brain fit, same as her body. She’s doing five Tibetan rites, and she thought she should do something for her brain as well. Also she hopes she could encourage Zofijka more to learn English and help her with it. I tried helping her but it is clear that she’s just not willing to learn English, she started to hate it because of her schools, also she has significant difficulties with focusing her attention – she was born one month premature and apparently some attention deficit is the result of it, or some mild learning disorder, at least that’s what our Math tutor is saying. Though Zofijka isn’t not intelligent so I think she could do better, but so far even private tutors weren’t able to help her. And Mum also wants to just have something more meaningful to do. My Mum doesn’t have any other job than, as she calls it “home manager”, so I think it would be good for her to have something more to do and that it is a reasonable goal. We are talking a lot in English, despite her limited vocabulary, so that she just gets comfortable with the language, I encourage her to learn doing some enjoyable or funny things so that it’s a pleasure for her, and she puts a lot of effort in finding the right words or at least describing things on her own. She is also using a lot of resources, yesterday she even watched Ceebeebies. So yeah that was a shock for me. And that’s also something new to me, because of course I help her with her English. I am not good at teaching or explaining things to people, particularly those things I am particularly good and keen about, but I just make sure she does everything right, provide her with some advices and make for a conversation partner for her.

Another thing is that yesterday four years have passed since I left the boarding school forever. I am so relieved anytime I think about it. But I think that’s also why I’ve got a lot of awful memories out of nowhere recently and some pretty freaky nightmares about that time.

My grandparents will soon have their 50th wedding anniversary, they will have huge celebrations because of that, and that makes me more and more anxious. There will be more than 50 people, they are mostly family but many of them I barely know or don’t know at all. There will be a huge party even with dancing, I hate this kind of parties the most. But I need to go even just for my grandad. I know he isn’t keen about all that fuss either, but just has to adjust. And that’s so weird, since the anniversary is his, and as for my gramma, she is happy but it wasn’t her who came up with the idea, it were their daughters, and they both just agreed. Normally when there is a huge party like this my grandad always knows perfectly when to take a French leave and since he knows I’d like too, he always asks me if I want to go with him and he drops me home. But since now he is a host actually, I’m sure he wouldn’t do it, no matter how much he’d like to. I heard there will be some distant relative of my Mum who is called Jacek and I’ve heard lots of good things about him, and I was looking forward at least to it, to see what he’s like and maybe have some fun, but they say he won’t come. I feel like it will be incredibly boring, most parties are so for me, and being bored and anxious among lots of people is a pretty nasty combination.

It’ll be my nameday on Saturday – and no, I’m not going to invite anyone, I celebrate the nameday of my birth name for the purpose of the family, and my actual nameday of my legal name is just for me and those I really want to have fun. Because I just can’t understand what’s so fun in inviting lots of people, providing them with food and drink, making sure they have fun and enough to eat, smalltalking and faking a smile. Sure, I like many people from my family, some I love, but who is actually celebrating, if I/my Mum are the ones who have to organise everything, invite everyone because it’s some sort of stupid rule for them, because they expect it? That will be always one of the biggest world mysteries for me. So I just want to have fun the way I like it. As some of you may remember, I planned on going to the Italian restaurant with my Mum, I invited her and offered her that we two could have some yummy food, and generally just go out together. Today I wanted to make sure if she’s still up to, and she said that no, she isn’t, because one of Dad’s brothers had his nameday yesterday and he’s making a party on Saturday and she and Dad want to go to him. That at first annoyed me, because well I told her about it much earlier and she agreed and was happy, and now she tells me she has different plans, and only when I ask her directly. But I didn’t say anything, ’cause I don’t think there was much to say, since if they agreed to go to him it would be weird to cancel now, or my Dad would have to go alone, whihc I assume would also be weird – or he would have to stay home because Mum is going with me, and it wouldn’t be fair because I would feel awkward getting him a dinner, since he’s actually my boss so he should rather get one for me, they’re theoretically still his money anyway. ๐Ÿ˜€ And I just don’t feel like taking him with us, so it wouldn’t be fair to do this to him. So yeah, I don’t want to complicate things, but I think I felt hurt ’cause it looked like she didn’t want to go with me. Not that I so desperately wanted to go to that restaurant but just to have some fun time with her, thought it would be cool, and her reaction at first was like she was happy about it. But maybe she just hasn’t much choice and has to go to my uncle’s party, I don’t think I want to investigate. Anyway, I still am going to have fun, and that’s not the end of the world. That means that me and Misha will be home alon e – Zofijka’s going to the swimming camp. I bought myself lots of spicy snacks and other treats, I also bought some for my family and for Zofijka for her camp. So I will have lots of yummy food, and I will be listening to a few of albums that came out recently and that I was looking forward to like crazy, and I really can’t wait to listen to them and make some little reviews in my diary. am also going to start my Swedish course, to make my Swedish even better. I hope that such a nice day will help me to get out of that depressive whole, ’cause recently everything really seems to be a bit overwhelming and hard to cope with, and I find it hard to be around any people around whom I have to fake anything, so most people.

How about you? What’s been on your mind lately? ๐Ÿ™‚