A quick update.

I didn’t write anything about my life for quite a while, recently I feel like I’m behind everything, so decided to do it quickly today as I have a bit of free time on my hands.

So I’m back in the routine since last week, my winter break has finished and all goes relatively well. Besides being busy with school, my languages, family life and other stuff, last week I also went to the OM doctor. I think I didn’t mention yet that I am working since about two years in my Dad’s company as an office worker. My Dad is a tank driver and delivers fuel. I don’t do much and it’s surely nothing like the job of my dreams, but I can earn some money which I can save for the future or spend for some things just for myself which I really appreciate and I think I’m lucky I’m in such situation. I suppose lots of disabled people would love to have such a start in life, no matter what they’d do next. So obviously I need to go to the OM doc every year, I had my bloods taken and other things like that and then I talked to him. At some point he wanted to measure my blood pressure, he took my arm and was very astonished why my skin is so dry. Actually, I was astonished too, because I never really thought it was dry. I do have hypothyroidism, but I always thought that, especially as for a person with hypothyroidism, my skin is definitely OK. So I told him I have thyroid issues and maybe it’s about that, but he said he doesn’t think so. My Mum, who was in there with me, was astonished too. He asked her if it feels like her skin is dry. She said that no, absolutely not. We both were actually convinced our skin is very smooth. But he asked her to show him her arm and he said that it is dry. So that amazed us even more, like I didn’t know whether to actually believe him. And he said he’s a dermatologist, besides being an OM doc and we could make an appt with him as a dermatologist if we wanted to. So then I told him that although I’ve never thought about myself as having any bigger skin issues, recently I have often pretty disturbed sleep because of being very itchy at night and Mum said the same is with her, which I already knew about. So he told us there is apparently a genetic condition and when you have it, your skin tends to be dry and the problem increases in winter when you have the heating on or if you stay in air conditioned rooms for long periods of time. I surely am not in air conditioned rooms often, but obviously we do have heating on now when it’s winter and that itchiness occured in me very recently. He also said you can have skin infections frequently, can feel more itchy while having shower or when you’re stressed and that’s exactly what me and Mum experience from some time. So we decided we’ll book an appointment with him. I’ll have it tomorrow. I’m interested what he’ll tell me and what’s this condition, I’ve never heard of it. Sometime ago I wrote about the infection I’m having on my leg and maybe that’s why it’s occurring. So I will show it to him and maybe he’ll have any idea what to do with it, as I definitely don’t want to have it again and want to heal it as quickly as possible, I want to be able to horse ride again, but it’s too painful right now so I wouldn’t have any pleasure of it. So that’s it about my appointment.

As for other things, I finally got accepted to write my final exams in the school for the blind and not the school I’m attending to. My school is a mainstream school and it would be hard for them to technically adapt the exams for me and I would feel challenged and both me and my Mum think like I’d have quite a lot of additional stress while I’ll be already stressed out just with exams, so I’m glad I don’t have to worry about technical stuff now.

The only thing I am worrying about in this case (besides passing the exams of course) is that there is a boarding school as well. While having exams, me and my Mum will most likely have to stay there. It’s not the boarding school I was in, it’s a completely different school and I will stay there with Mum and Zofijka, but I feel kind of stressed about that. I feel like it can be a bit triggering. And I feel weird admitting that actually. I know it’s another school, other circumstances, but seems like my brain doesn’t know that. And that makes me wonder whether if simply staying in the surroundings resembling my school, where I didn’t feel well emotionally, makes me so anxious, even if the circumstances will be completely different, whether it means I have some more trauma around that or what… It makes me feel really weird, it was a really hard time for me, being there, lots of hard stuff, but I wasn’t abused there, well there was a time when I experienced emotional abuse from the staff, but my Mum realised what’s going on and it stopped reoccuring. But other than that, nothing really dramatic happened, no one did any harm to me at least not consciously. So I would really like to know what it’s all about. And, actually, that isn’t the first time and situation in which I’m wondering about it. Am I more traumatised than I think, or just so horrribly emotionally weak? I don’t know if it makes sense for you, I’m not even sure if it makes sense for me so… well it’s just so strange. 😀 But there’s still some time until May, so hopefully I’ll be able to pick myself together a bit until then. I didn’t talk abaout it with my Mum, but I talked briefly with my Dad. Not about my emotions around that, but just asked him if he would be able and if he would like to go there with us. Because if he could, it would be easier to move around and I know that my Mum would prefer it too, then we could stay somewhere else outside the school. But his work hours are very unpredictable so he didn’t tell me anything in particular and I know he would be bored to death there even if he wouldn’t have to work, so my question was actually rather theoretic.

And the last thing I would like to mention about is that last week I got a wonderful gift from my Maths tutor. She is a typhlopedagogist and surdopedagogist and because I am learning on my own outside of school, just at home, but having trouble with Maths, I have lessons with her two days a week and she explains stuff for me. She is also helping Zofijka with her Maths, although Zofijka goes to school regularly and doesn’t have any special needs, but has issues with Maths and it’s just easier to pay for one tutor than for two. And Zofijka is absolutely fascinated by her. Anyway, what I wanted to tell you is, last week on Tuesday, when she came to us she had three large boxes of gem stones for me! I was so excited and I really appreciated the fact she remembered that I collect gem stones. After all she’s only my tutor, but she’s really involved and helpful. Some time ago we chatted after the lesson and she saw my huge collection and I told her a bit about it and showed her many of my stones and she mentioned her brother was collecting gem stones and other minerals when he was younger and now no one cares about them so she brought them to me. And there are a few pretty rare minerals, some which I looked for and couldn’t find anywhere, so, yeah, I was extatic. 😀

Today I’m having a really peaceful day finally which I really appreciate. I spent a lot of time with my Mum. Zofijka has sinus infection so she’s still at home and we played a lot. And although I had lots of weird and sometimes scary dreams recently, I feel really well today.

How is it going for you guys? 🙂

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